This place, Roasted and Toasted, came second in the Falkirk Herald’s 2015 cafe competition but we cannot figure out what criterion they were using. It is one of these places we find intensely annoying; a family run business you desperately want to support but which is ignoring some business fundamentals …..
- The coffee was tasteless .. like it had been watered down. Costa and Cafe Nero know their coffee and are both just a few meters away and packed out with customers – go taste the difference.
- Decor is what we would call ‘extreme bland’.
- Lighting unimaginative and not helped by the fact that about 40% of the lights had failed and not been replaced so adding to the overall slightly depressing atmosphere.
- Lots of lifestyle messages that make you slightly nauseous e.g. “when it rains, look for rainbows” .. how about “in a coffee house look for a decent cup of coffee”!
- Scones not homebaked.
- Tables only seemed to be cleared when somebody needed them.
- Not bothered to take the name of the previous occupants off their street canopy.
Now all this is a shame because the service is very friendly, hard working and generally trying hard to please the customers. They asked if we wanted our scones heated in a microwave. Pat is firmly of the opinion that a microwave does scones no favours, so they offered to grill them .. nice touch. We previously had this done at Ardanasaig, and it was great, so we happily accepted the offer. Unfortunately it meant we had to wait ages and when they eventually came they had been heated in an oven rather than grilled .. but the thought was there and it was appreciated. Sad though that they are putting in so much effort but ignoring some of the basics. With more attention to detail it could be transformed .. but then again it has been a pretty sad week ….
- ‘Roasted and toasted’ could easily describe the current state of the Union after the poorly thought out EVEL (English Votes for English Laws) was successfully rushed through the Commons as a Standing Order. It hasn’t been done for constitutional reasons but rather for narrow political reasons and although it means, for the first time since 1707, MPs are no longer equal, it has gone completely unreported by the BBC and most of the press.
- One unelected head of state met another unelected head of state in a grotesque orgy of gold carriages, bearskin hats and obscene banquets in order to let all those using food banks how lucky they are. As a result of all this feting the Chinese will build a nuclear reactor for us … provided we pay double the going rate for electricity .. brilliant! The Chinese, of course, have a huge sovereign wealth fund second only to Norway. Just think .. if Scotland had become independent 30 years ago Cameron would be coming here with his begging bowl.
- You may not have been worrying about this but it transpires that the Treason Felony Act 1848 has not been repealed after all. This act makes it a criminal offence, punishable by life imprisonment, to advocate abolition of the monarchy in print, even by peaceful means. The Ministry of Justice said that it had been repealed but then admitted that it hadn’t .. oops!
Roasted and Toasted can ignore all this, of course, they have more urgent matters to attend to.
FK1 1EY tel: 01324 629117 Roasted and Toasted FB