Category Archives: english

english, Scones, Top

Connaught Hotel

A Porsche outside the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonWe managed to squeeze our Porsche 911 GT2 RS in between another sports car and a huge black Rolls Royce outside the front door of the hotel. Seriously, the car pictured above was indeed parked like that. However, with a price tag of £211,000 for the basic model it represents more than we have spent on cars in our entire lifetime. It does 0-60mph in 2.8 secs whereas our first car, a Citroen Dyane named Hal after the computer in the film 2001, A Space Odyssey, could only reach that speed in a following wind. Truthfully, we arrived by black cab.

A couple of sheep

It took us through Mayfair to the Connaught and the streets were lined with  Ferraris and Lamborghinis so this car was not out of place in the slightest. Definitely the place to see swank, if silly, cars. Our favourite car of all time however remains Hal. Not sure you would get a couple of sheep and bale of straw in the back of that Porsche. At least not without knocking £100,000 off the value! Anyway, this is not a car blog!

As you are very well aware we leave no stone unturned in our sconological quests and once again, as we did at Knockinaam Lodge Hotel, we are going that extra mile … entirely on your behalf! The Connaught (like Claridge’s and the Ritz does not require to have “hotel” after its name … you’re just supposed to know) does luxury rather well.

One of the bars at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London
The Coburg Bar

Because we were a sinful few minutes early we were promptly escorted to  the Coburg bar and obliged to drink pink champagne and eat green olives with homemade potato crisps while  they prepared our table … nice! We had hardly begun when they announced that the table was ready but that we could take as long as we liked over our champagne. Nice again! Internal view of the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London

Dream Tea

When we did eventually sit down to our afternoon tea it was in the very comfortable Jean-Georges restaurant. It had a huge wrap round window so that we could sit and watch the mega-rich going past outside wondering which, if any of them, was not involved in money laundering. Afternoon tea at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonFirst thing we had to do was decide on tea … there was no coffee option! Pat opted for a green tea called Gyokuro, made by gently steaming the leaves in pure volcanic water and promising to taste of roasted Fuji apples and tender meringue.

I, having only a vague grasp on reality, opted for Dream Tea, an infusion of the finest chamomile, verbena, lemongrass and mint … wake me up somebody! We’ve seen the correct way to taste posh tea …. you suck it noisily through your teeth, swill it vigorously around your mouth before jettisoning it into a spittoon. But this did not seem like either the time or the place. Interestingly both teas looked and tasted amazingly like hot water … but refreshing nevertheless to our PG Tips palates.

Curd, or not?

We could go on endlessly about the biscuit dogs for dipping in chocolate. Or the Truffle egg mayonnaise sandwiches. Or the Rhubarb Compote with Fromage Blanc but you just want to know about the scones. Don’t you! Needless to say they were delicious. There was a fruit and a plain for each of us, beautifully glazed on top and nicely presented in a silver basket. They were accompanied by homemade strawberry jam, Cornish clotted cream and lemon curd … fab. The lemon curd, however, presented us with something of a quandry … cream with curd, or not?

We should know the answer but, since this is the first time we have been presented with the problem, we don’t. We went ‘with’ and it was nice enough but aesthetically a bit insipid looking. Thoughts on this dilemma would be most welcome. Scones at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonThe fruit ones had delightfully succulent golden fruit rather than the usual black sultanas. All in all it was a pretty obvious topscone.

However, we don’t want readers running away with the idea that it was all plain sailing. We had had to switch champagnes for the afternoon tea. At one point,Pat even had to pour her own tea!! In the toilets there was someone to greet you. They turned on the taps for you and handed you a beautiful fluffy white hand towel. Too much! The thought of these poor sods standing in a toilet all day, albeit a marbled temple of a toilet, waiting to turn your taps on … arrgghh!

Pouring one’s own tea

They might even wipe bums for the Rees Moggs of this world but we’re not sure. At any rate the very nice gentleman who turned on my taps has probably been deported by now under Theresa May‘s fantastically disgraceful immigration regime. The Connaught must have hundreds of staff. We met quite a few of them and not one of them was British. Does this mean that we will all have to pour our own tea and wipe our own bums after Brexit? Sacré bleu! Afternoon tea at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, LondonTo top it all off the staff presented us with a beautiful little box with some extra scones and jams as we left … wonderful. Or maybe it was the Dream Tea kicking in?

W1K 2AL          tel: 020 7499 7070            The Connaught

english, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Costa Coffee

The main street in East Sheen is festooned with lovely new coffee shops so you would think that it would be relatively easy to find a scone. Not necessarily so. We tried several such establishments which all had loads of cakes and pastries but no scones. One place didn’t even seem to know what a scone was … mon Dieu! What seems to be happening is that the new independent cafés and restaurants are  all going down the same route. We think it might be called the hipster route. They all look very similar and they all serve the same pretend healthy stuff. Perhaps they don’t do scones because they have to be fresh and are just too much trouble?  Internal view of Costa Coffee in East Sheen

Only marmalade!

Normally we try to give our custom to independent coffee and tea houses rather than the multinationals. Today, however, in this buzzing area of south west London, it was down to Costa Coffee, the second biggest multinational, to come to the rescue. They had fruit scones and they had cheese scones, hurrah!  In places like this our expectations are never that high and we feared that after some very indifferent service at the counter and the place being a wee bit untidy, that these expectations were being realised. A scone at Costa Coffee in East SheenWhen it came to the scones however we were very pleasantly surprised … they were warm and probably had the most fruit we have had in a scone in a long time. No cream and the only jam they had was marmalade. Heyho, we like to be adventurous.
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Government opposing themselves

Given the overall experience this was nowhere near a topscone. Having said that, however,it wasn’t at all bad. At least Costa is British. Starbucks coming to the rescue would have been too much to bear! Englandshire is going through its local government elections at the moment. Even though London voted overwhelmingly, like Scotland, to stay in the EU the biggest issue in this area seems to be weekly bin collections rather than Brexit! What with everything that has been going on, our present government should be the easiest in living memory to oppose. However the Labour party seems to have failed yet again in that department. The Tories are actually doing a better job of opposing themselves than Labour and are still coming off best in the elections!A logo sign at Costa Coffee in East SheenSW14 7NX                  tel: 020 8878 0351                    Costa

english, Scones, Top

St Paul’s Hotel

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What is now the elegant red sandstone St Paul’s Hotel started life as St Paul’s School, founded in 1509. Since then the school has occupied numerous locations. Currently it occupies a large site on the south side of the Thames near Hammersmith Bridge. Between 1884 and 1968, however, it was housed here on the other side of the river.  Like Eton and Gordonstoun, St Paul’s was designed to populate the government, civil service, diplomatic service and the armed forces with men who could maintain the Empire, They were also expected to keep their parents in the manner to which they had become accustomed. And, of course, keep the riffraff in their rightful place. Amongst its alumni are Samuel Pepys and George Osborne. Quite why they would admit to someone whose main achievement, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, was to double the national debt to £1.7 trillion, is quite beyond us.

SWALK

Luckily this rather beautiful building has found a renewed sense of purpose serving scones to the riffraff. Enter riffraff. Poster for the film 'Melody', filmed at St Paul's Hotel, HammersmithThe hotel has lots of beautiful rooms and, in what used to be the lecture theatre, General Eisenhower presented the final invasion plan to General Montgomery, King George VI and Winston Churchill just three weeks before the D-Day landings took place in 1944.

For our cream tea, however, we were ushered into the very comfortable Melody Restaurant & Bar. So called because the school provided the backdrop for the 1971 cult film about ‘puppy love’. The film is sometimes known as S.W.A.L.K (some of you will know what these letters stand for) and if you click on the poster and have an hour and forty three minutes to spare you can watch it. Though you would probably be better served just continuing to read this post.

Scone threesomes

The service in St Paul’s Hotel would best be described as ‘efficient’. Absolutely nothing wrong with it but maybe lacking a certain friendly personal touch that would make all the difference. Then again they can probably spot riffraff a mile off and are trained not to be overly effusive in their welcomes. Scones at St Paul's Hotel, HammersmithThey offer a range of teas and we elected, in true adventurous style, for Indian breakfast rather than English. Quite a good choice as it turned out. The presentation of the scones was as you would expect in such a place. Nice bowls of jam and cream, crisp linen napkins etc. The scones come in threes. Okay they’re quite small, and although some of them could never be described as ‘beautifully formed’, they were delicious … nicely warmed, crunchy on the outside with super soft centres, topped off with a light dusting of icing sugar. Fab … topscone!Interior view of St Paul's Hotel, Hammersmith

Meeting in the forest

You cannot turn your back for a second! While we’ve been away Theresa May has ‘done’ Scotland on her “strong and stable – I am the one” general election tour of what she doubtless regards as ‘the provinces’. Lets face it the Tories see Scotland simply as a place to shoot grouse and store nuclear missiles. Oh, and a source of funding for all their fancy London projects. She really got down and dirty with the locals … not! Her only appearance was in a village hall in a forest near to that well known Labour stronghold of Crathes in Aberdeenshire. It had been surreptitiously booked for a children’s party. No shortage of balloons then? It is hard to imagine anything more pathetic. Okay, okay, George Osborne, but at least he has managed to get another job he knows nothing about, as editor of the Evening Standard?

W14 0QL            tel: 020 8846 9119                 St Paul’s

english, Ordinary, Scones

Roasted Bean Café

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Triangles and all that

Okay, okay, the Crystal Palace Triangle is not so much a ‘scone desert’ as we first thought. We found another one! picture of garden area of Roasted Bean café in Crystal PalaceThis time it’s at the Roasted Bean café. Like the LWS café in our previous post, it is situated on the outer extremity of the Triangle where the influence is weakest. The Roasted Bean Café had plain and fruit scones. Some sort of normality after our gruyère and chive experience.

Normality at the Roasted Bean Cafe

Normality, however, is sometimes not all that it is cracked up to be. The girl who brought our fruit scone, semi-apologetically explained that the scraping of jam on offer was all they had left. Not a great start. On the plus side, we were able to sit outside in the ‘garden’ on what was a very hot day. picture of a Roasted Bean café sconeThe scone itself, although nicely toasted and tasted okay, the meagre jam and the strange synthetic butter missed the topscone marker by quite a long way. We have concluded that the Crystal Palace Triangle, though not a complete scone desert, is not the sort of place that sconeys should be frequenting. Unless, of course, they have a peripheral interest in broadcasting??

The BBC and Scotland

Picture of the Crystal Palace TV transmitter

Crystal Palace may not cut the mustard for scones but it does have the famous Crystal Palace TV transmitter. With a coverage of more than 12 million people, it is the most important in the UK . Broadcasting aficionados will know that the first ever TV broadcast took place in our own home town of Falkirk. John Logie Baird demonstrated the new fandangled thing in what is now Johnston’s bistro in the Lint Riggs.
 
You are probably also aware that the whole ‘TV thingy’ caught on in quite a big way when the BBC was formed. The rest, as they say, is history. The BBC is about to get it’s new charter and whereas this transmitter probably does a good job for London it remains to be seen whether the BBC can adapt to the new politics of the UK. Can it reflect a Scotland where all but three MPs support independence? So far it has failed miserably. For instance, reporting a big independence rally in Catalonia whilst completely ignoring a similar rally in Glasgow on the same day. That is not a service, it is a disservice.

With Scotland raising more than £300m in BBC licence fees and only getting £83m back, an urgent revision is required. RTE, the Irish broadcaster, buys all BBC channels for £21m a year. It doesn’t need a brain surgeon to work it out. An independent Scotland would be much better off simply paying for the BBC in the same way as RTE. If it wants to.

Do you think this transmitter could have anything to do with the mysterious lack of scones in the Crystal Palace Triangle?

SE19 3RY     tel: 07515 126190     Roasted Bean FB

english, Top

Café Liberty

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When asked to name Britain’s poshest and most iconic shop, most people would probably say “Harrods”. And they might well be right. However, we think this place would give Harrods a run for it’s money, any day. It’s maybe not as big and it’s maybe not as posh, but it’s terribly terribly British.

Arthur Liberty opened the shop in 1875 selling oriental objets d’art and, perhaps most famously, it’s own printed fabrics .. later to become known as Liberty prints. Liberty 02aIt quickly became one of the most prestigious stores in London. The current Tudor style building, dates from 1924 and was constructed from the timbers of two ships: HMS Impregnable and HMS Hindustan. Liberty 01It’s a Grade II listed building constructed around three light wells each with smaller rooms leading off to provide a homely feel. Many of the rooms still have beautiful ornate fireplaces. When you wander round the shop you can’t help but be amazed at the eclectic range of stuff on offer. Everything from Alexander McQueen’s latest fashions to ceramic egg cups and vast heaps of Persian rugs. You never know what is just around the corner.

Dubious honour

On the 2nd floor there is Café Liberty where you can have breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea or even dinner. We have been here before on several occasions but had never tried the scones. Since Liberty was going to have the dubious honour of being our 100th scone, it just had to be done. Café Liberty is relatively small and very busy.  Liberty 03It was pretty full when we arrived and we are sure we saw another hundred people come in and only about two leave. They don’t take reservations but somehow they, very calmly, manage to find seats for everyone. No one is kept waiting for any length of time and yet no-one seems to leave .. as Queen would say, “it’s a kind of magic!”
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Like Deanston and Glamis the scones come in pairs; for just under £10 you get one fruit, one plain and a pot of tea, not cheap, but not too bad considering Liberty 04they also come beautifully warm and with all the right accoutrements. Linen napkins, nice cutlery and of course jam and cream .. and what might even be a Liberty pattern plate. They were nice and soft on the inside and slightly crunchy on the outside, just the way we like them. Well done Liberty, nice to complete our first century of sconeology with a topscone award.

Promises promises

At one time Liberty had several stores around the country but now it is just this one. This government, however, elected by a third of the voting public, is taking one big liberty with just about everything: the NHS in England, the Vow in Scotland, the Chilcot enquiry, the immigration crisis, the EU, land reform, union rights, human rights, disability rights .. we could go on. The Tories belief in austerity (trickle up economy) is mind boggling. Especially when you consider that they came to power in 2010 promising to reduce the inherited debt of £780 billion. Yet here we are in 2016 with a dept that now stands at £1.6 trillion and growing by the second. What a liberty .. thank goodness Café Liberty harks back to a better more enlightened and humane past.Liberty 07W1B 5AH          tel: 020 7734 1234             Liberty

english, Ordinary, self-service

White Peaks Café

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This is our first visit to Kew Gardens. It famously houses the world’s biggest collection of living plants. It quickly became evident that a few hours was never really going to do it justice. It’s big, about 300 acres, and there’s lots to see and do. Orchid collections; photographic exhibitions; tropical glasshouses; museums of botany; loads of beautiful  parkland and big adventure playgrounds for children. There are four eateries all operated by the same external  contractor and they are all different. We ended up in the White Peaks family food hall near the adventure play area. It was busy, busy, busy, kiddies everywhere, but we had kiddies with us too so we were just adding to the general chaos.White Peaks 02

‘Food hall’ is probably the correct description rather than ‘restaurant’. You certainly would not come here for a quiet cuppa .. at least not on a school holiday. If you want that The Orangery, a couple of hundred yards further on, would probably be a much better bet. Fortunately White Peaks is self-service and set up to cater for loads of people all at once. It doesn’t take long to get served with whatever takes your fancy. Predictably our fancy was taken by the scones. Not because they looked particularly appetising, but rather out of our unstinting sense of duty.

Not Claridges

As might be expected in a place like this everything is geared towards fast  food and the scones are no exception; jam and cream in little sealed plastic pots; paper plates; plastic knife. Do they not know that we normally have our scones at Claridge’s .. darling? White Peaks 03This definitely was not a Claridge’s scone but then that would be like comparing apples and pears. Let’s just say that this scone was okay and ideally suited to it’s environment.

If the folks in London are baffled by a peculiar chortling noise drifting downwind from the north, it is probably referendum hardened Scots laughing. They are chortling at the 2014 pantomime of the Scottish independence referendum being played out again. However, this time it’s over the EU. The same predictions of impending doom if we stay in .. oh, and if we leave. Incredibly, the people who want to leave the EU are ferociously arguing that ‘we need to have control over our own affairs‘, are exactly the same people who argued so ferociously to stop that happening in Scotland. The logic is hard to grasp.

Weasel words

The other day Ian Duncan Smith said “I’m tired of hearing that we’re too small, too little, too inconsequential to stand alone”. Is that a wee touch of amnesia Ian? What were you saying a year ago about Scotland? No such worries on this beautiful day at Kew. We didn’t notice any kiddie-winks fretting about the prospects of being in .. or out, although, they are the ones who will be affected most. Whatever the result, it will be made to work so it probably does not matter that much. Dumfries & Galloway Council have resorted to cutting a pack of cards to make decisions. Maybe Westminster should do the same, it would save a lot of trouble?

TW9 3AB     tel: 020 8332 5000     Kew Gardens

english, topweird

Le Pain Quotidien

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This place is just round the corner from Victoria station and was the chosen spot for a rendezvous with a group of Lithuanians. Don’t ask, it’s a long story. Le Pain Quotidian ( the daily bread) originated in Belgium but now has outlets in nineteen countries stretching from Brazil to India. This is the first we have come across. Le Pain 02

The emphasis is on providing a place for people to meet and do business or just have a good gossip. To that end, they provide some long tables where people or families can gather round and do just that. It prides itself on it’s artisan bread made the traditional way. ‘Bakers blend organic stone-ground flour, kneaded patiently by hand and baked in stone lined hearths’ .. whatever! Can they make a scone?

In the interests of diversity, we thought we should try the ‘organic spelt & quinoa scone’. If nothing else it was definitely different and, from that point of view, difficult to compare with other scones. Le Pain 03A heavy mix as you might expect with a spelt flour but the added quinoa seeds, currants and almonds gave it a, not unpleasant, crunchy texture. It came with a pot of mixed strawberry/rhubarb  jam and a dish of what we thought was cream but turned out to be ricotta – an Italian whey cheese made from sheep milk.

Now once we had got over the surprise of it being nothing like the cream we had been expecting, it was not that bad. In fact, with the scone itself being so completely different, the ricotta complemented the scone quite well. Probably better than cream would have done. Le Pain 04This is the first  time we have come across quinoa (pronounced: kinwa) in a scone. It probably demonstrates Le Pain Quotidien holding true to its basic philosophy of using good honest healthy ingredients. Apparently it originated from the shores of Lake Titicaca which is quite exotic in itself. At £5 per scone however, they are not cheap. Never had a hope of being a topscone but just for being sooooo different we think it qualifies for a top weird scone award. Won’t be rushing back for another but well done for broadening our scone horizons.

Weapons of mass destruction

Not far away there was a Stop Trident rally in Trafalgar Square. Isn’t it odd that we give so much attention to making nuclear power stations absolutely safe. Then spend vastly more money planning for the creation of even bigger nuclear disasters .. bizarre. Of course, things have moved on. The big question now is not whether we should get rid of them but whether we can get rid of them fast enough. Before The Donald and BoJo are ruling the world. The BBC‘s report on the rally just prattled on about how disappointing the turnout had been in spite of their own pictures showing umpteen thousands present.

BREAKING NEWS:

In best BBC style, keeping you up to date with scone news, we have breaking news from our Trossachs correspondent. The same one who, you will remember, gifted us some Dobbies scones at Christmas. Dobbies 01Apparently, when he went to pay for his cream scone the other day at Dobbies in Stirling he discovered that cream scones were subject to a BOGOF deal so he went home with another scone in a box which fed  four people the following day. All for £1.45 .. remarkable. Many thanks to our reporter. Obviously they were not spelt and quinoa scones. In spite of the London prices, however, Le Pain Quotidien is worth a visit. A little bit quirky, good food, great service and nice atmosphere. It also has a good website with plenty of information and recipe suggestions.

SW1V 1JZ     tel: 020 3657 6945     Le Pain Quotidien

english, Top

Claridge’s

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Claridges 03You know you are at Claridge’s when, to get across the street, you have to negotiate your way through loads of Bentleys and Aston Martins. Then, when you get to reception you have to decide between an ordinary room at £550 per night, or a suite  .. dilemma! Eventually we thought a £3,500 suite would be comfortable enough for one night. Then we discovered that breakfast was going to be an additional £80 … arrgghh. And everything had been going so well.

The Scot in us suddenly came racing to the fore and, you guessed it, we ended up just going for a scone. Not just any old scone, mind you, a full afternoon tea in the form of a much anticipated present from a couple of thoughtful and generous readers .. hint, hint.

Hen’s teeth

Diligent readers will have noted that over the last few months, topscone awards have been as rare as hen’s teeth, so we were feeling pretty excited and confident. If hen’s teeth were going to be found anywhere, it would be here.

Excitement is not something that Claridge’s does. The atmosphere, in the rather splendiferous 1930’s art deco Foyer, is one of intense calm. Disturbed only by the soft sounds of the pianist and cellist playing selections from Beethoven and Bublé. Claridges 08Pat always blends effortlessly into such luxurious surroundings – a sign of good breeding no doubt. Whereas I tend to feel more comfortable towards the greasy spoon end of the market.

Cannot believe I have just mentioned a greasy spoon in this context. If such an item was found here some member of staff would immediately be taken out and unceremoniously shot. As serious sconeys, however, whose sole raison d’être is to inform our readers about scones at all levels, we felt it had to be done. Regardless of personal sacrifice. The menu will give you an flavour of what had to be endured.Claridges 12

Pièce de résistance

here’s no doubt that these sandwiches, helped down with lashings of champagne, were probably the best we have ever tasted. Superb, we ate every last crumb. The glaringly empty plate prompted them to ask if we would like more. Of course, we had to conserve some space for the pièce de résistance .. the scones. We politely declined.

Iron Goddess

Before that we had to choose from a couple of dozen teas from around the world. Pat plumped on China White Peony with ‘hints of peach and apricot‘ and I went for the Iron Goddess Of Mercy, a gentle flavoured oolong which is high in caffeine and recommended as ‘the perfect afternoon pick-me-up‘. Ideal for me after having been awake all morning.

Tea for enemies

The tea comes served in teapots that only hold one cup. When you want more they go and get more hot water and each infusion is supposed to improve each time. We were told by our Chinese waitress. ‘The first cup is for your enemies, the second cup for your wife and the third cup is for yourself’. Just as well we were both drinking different teas as I’m pretty sure Pat would not have been happy being given the second cup. Claridges 10The scones! Apparently ‘Claridge’s scone recipe is a timeless classic refined over generations‘. They have ‘a soft yielding texture and a colour of warm white gold‘ and are served with Cornish clotted cream and tea scented Marco Polo gelée … ‘the perfect complement to the scone‘. Nothing as common as jam here!

Malawi Antler

They were not far wrong, it was all excellent. However, rather than being the clear and easy decision we had expected, we had to deliberate for a bit on whether they qualified as topscones or not? The presentation of course was excellent but the scones themselves were not quite up to Fonab standards. Of course Fonab is top of the tree so the answer was yes, phew! Claridges 09Because we are unlikely to be taking tea here again any time soon, for my final cup I changed to the Malawi Antler. A tea which is ‘unspeakably rare’ and in the UK can only be found at Claridge’s. It had to be done. It was very nice. Though the antlers (tea shoots instead of leaves) which ‘wonderfully express the earth of Malawi’ was a bit lost on my decidedly uneducated palette.

Fudge

The rest of the afternoon was taken up with cake scoffing, and generally watching the world go by. What a fabulous way to spend the day. Many many thanks to our very generous benefactors. Before we left this cocoon of peace and calm our waiter rushed off to get us a present. Two little boxes of Claridge’s fudge. Judging by his performance over the ‘new deal’ and the EU referendum we think Cameron has been given several mega boxes.

W1K 4HR       tel: 020 7629 8860        Claridges

english, Ordinary

Maison Blanc

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This post sees us back in the nether regions of the UK visiting family. London, or Barnes to be more precise. It’s a very pleasant area with lots of parks and a great network of paths that mean you don’t have to walk near busy roads very often. You do, however, need to be mindful of over-enthusiastic joggers and cyclists. Sometimes seems like nobody just walks.

We walk though. On this occasion our walk took us across the Thames at Barnes Bridge to Chiswick and one of our favourite antique shops, the Old Cinema. One of Chiswick’s rather dubious claims to fame is that it was the first place in Britain to be hit by a German V-I (doodlebug) rocket bomb. The Old Cinema hasn’t been a cinema since the 30s but obviously survived the doodlebugs because the building has now been utilised  as a centre for somewhat quirky up-cycled antiques.

Price tags

Browsing was definitely the order of the day however since most of the price tags would have to be considerably downsized to match our rather tight Scottish pockets. Strangely, after a pleasant hour or so rummaging, we became subject to a mysterious and irresistible force that pulled us out and around the corner onto Turnham Green Terrace and this place, Maison Blanc. A little bit of France. Maison Blanc 04

A self-styled  ‘artisan bakery renowned for its speciality breads, freshly baked pastries, world famous cakes and pâtisserie – all handmade to perfection’. It also boasts of it’s ‘viennoiserie’. That’s ‘croissants’ to you and me. Maison Blanc 02Apparently they also have a joie-de vie attitude and believe that life should be enjoyed one delicate macaroon at a time. 

But we British know the French rather well, don’t we? Compulsive seducers, lazy, speak only French, drive like Italians. So, with all their haut cuisine and everything, the big question was, would they be up to making a decent scone? Almost, the scones had scrubbed up quite well. Nicely shaped with a glossy bronzed finish and nicely presented with a tub of Cornish clotted cream. And a pot of jam of a somewhat indeterminate nature. Maison Blanc 05The more attentive amongst you may have noticed that we have not given a topscone award for some considerable time so we were hoping that this might be our chance, because we do like to give them out. It wasn’t to be. The rather odd jam, the prepackaged cream, the scone itself, although enjoyable enough the combination was just not right, pity.

Blues

On a slightly different tack! We almost never comment on the omni-present piped music because it is almost always awful, but this was an exception. No Piaf, just the right volume, and a mixture of Howling’ Wolf, John Lee Hooker and Billie Holiday .. perfecto!

At the end of Turnham Green Terrace there is a statue of William Hogarth the famous painter who lived locally until his death in 1764. Although a renowned portraitist he is probably best know for his satirical works. What would he make of things if he was alive today? Trickle up economics, uppity Arabs, uppity Americans, uppity Scots; looming EU collapse, looming financial meltdown.

The untouchables

Goodness knows why people are surprised by talk of a meltdown when nothing has changed since the 2008 crash. Untouchable bankers still gambling with our money. Hogarth would have been in his element! In his heyday he always had something to say about the French. Probably not about their scone making abilities … or the lack of them. Are we the first? Doivent faire plus d’efforts!

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english, Ordinary

Muriel’s Kitchen

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The London Borough of Richmond upon Thames is one of those entities that sounds as if it has been around for centuries. However, it has only been in existence since 1965 when three smaller council areas were amalgamated. It is home to many attractions like Kew Gardens, Hampton Court Palace, Twickenham Stadium. Our favourite is the London Wetlands Centre which we visit frequently.Muriel's 02

It is probably the single most affluent area of London and perhaps unsurprisingly is deemed to have the best quality of life.  Also unsurprisingly it is almost exclusively white and conservative. You will all, of course, remember that we have been here before at the Bingham Hotel. We spent a very pleasant afternoon sipping tea in rather posh surroundings. Muriel's 07

This time we were just out for a walk along the Thames but before we got to the river we stopped off here at Muriel’s Kitchen. There  are lots of cafés and coffee shops in town but this one took our fancy. Perhaps because we once had an aunt Muriel who baked a rather mean scone.  It’s a very pleasant place with a wide range of food on offer and somewhat retro decor; copper jelly moulds and frying pans in abundance.

Representative?

Sitting here, looking around, you realise that this place, and indeed the whole borough of Richmond, kind of represents the government. Predominately white, male, well heeled, privileged backgrounds, private and Oxbridge educated. A generalisation of course, but the flip side of the coin is a bit more worrying because this borough is nothing at all like the rest of the country. Hence, by definition, the makeup of the current government does not reflect the country it is supposed to serve. Given that only 1 in 4 of the electorate voted for it we should probably not be surprised. However, that’s UK style democracy, the most undemocratic state in the EU.

a jam jar??
a jam jar, what happened to presentation?

It raises the question though; if a government is crammed full of Oxbridge alumni does it mean that they will make good politicians and govern well. Self evidently, it does not. We have the most right wing government in years introducing the Chinese Communist Party into the heart of UK infrastructure. A move, the only possible beneficiaries of which can be the bankers.

Learning from history

It’s not as if we don’t already know all this. George W Bush’s administration was made up of the cream of Yale, Princeton and Harvard graduates. We all know what happened under that leadership .. catastrophic wars and financial disaster. Whatever happened to politicians from working class backgrounds. The Nye Bevans of this world who had imagination and empathy? Perhaps,  by way of an experiment, it should be mandatory for people who run for office to be certified eejits just to see if it would make any difference.

Unfortunately the scones might have been made by some sort of elite academic because, although perfectly edible, they would not have passed aunt Muriel’s exacting standards .. a bit doughy and a tad on the solid side …  great coffee though!

Muriel's 04b

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