Scones, Top, weird

Café 54

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Well, it has finally come to this. The current situation with coronavirus has driven us to actually make our own scones. Who would have thought? With nowhere to go and buy them, we were faced with little choice. Although they will continue this might provide welcome relief from the reposts of late. When every day is much the same this post is also intended to remind you that it’s Friday. Friday is followed by the weekend.  The way things are, you could easily miss a whole weekend! Don’t want that, so relax, enjoy!

Sitting room at No 54
the Living room

It’s not that we’re bored or anything! Okay, yes we are a little bit bored. It would be great to be out there riding the highway mercilessly hunting down scones like days of yore, but that’s not going to happen. Cover of the Secret Life of Scones bookNot for a while yet. When I saw Pat leafing through the pages of The Secret Life of Scones by Suzy Bowler I thought – oh, oh, something’s going down! I left her to it. I just eat and write about scones which I suspect is a heck of a lot easier than making them. Anyway, Café 54 is quite a nice establishment with a lovely dining room and a pretty living room that would be perfect for afternoon tea.

Tickles

I fully expected to be summoned and ushered into one of these rooms where there would be a glass of champagne waiting to tickle my tastebuds.

the dining room

By the way, how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles! Sorry!

Kitchen at No 54
the Kitchen

Instead, I was taken straight to the kitchen. There was only one table and we had the whole place to ourselves. At this rate, Café 54 is not going to last very long.

Before and after scones
Before and after ten minutes in the Aga

Turned out Pat had followed one of the Genius recipes from the book but had added lots of fruit and almonds. They were fruit and nut scones! No comments, please! By now you know we like our scones crunchy on the outside and nice and soft in the middle.

Double crunch
A scone at No 54
Fruit and nut scones with Pat’s homemade gooseberry jelly

Well, these were crunchy on the outside but the almonds gave them a lovely crunch on the inside as well … unusual but fab! Pat assured me they were topscones and I couldn’t but agree. The gooseberry jelly and cream finished them off perfectly. There was nothing really to complain about at Café 54 … the welcome had been great and the service was perfectly adequate. We might try it again sometime.

This is the recipe:Genius recipe

Can’t provide any contact details because if you decide to visit Café 54, you would be made most welcome but your chances of getting a scone would be pretty slim. We’ve eaten them all!

SHED OF THE DAY

Since the sheds seem to be proving popular we have decided to give you this one. It’s not an island shed, these are reserved for island scones.

Shed at Burghead harbour
A wee shed at Burghead harbour. We were there on 11th January where they still celebrate their Julian calendar New Year with the Burning of the Clavie. Almost impossible to stand up in the wind.

ps: GOOD NEWS: Ospreys are seemingly unaffected by the lockdown and have just arrived back in Scotland from Gambia. Well done them!

BREAKING NEWS: The £10. 36 that I’ve had in my pocket for the past four weeks has mysteriously been reduced to £5.36. A fiver has been snaffled! I have my suspicions!

island, Scones, Top

Julia’s Café & Bistro – Again

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This is the second of our random ‘island scone’ reposts. This time it is from Julia’s Café & Bistro in Stromness on the Orkney Isles. We were there in mid-October 2017 at the tail end of Hurricane Maria … windy!

Whatever happened to Brexit?

Some overseas readers have inquired as to what has happened to Brexit. We went on about it in almost every post for months on end. The answer is we don’t know. It has completely disappeared from the news because of coronavirus. There are dedicated teams set aside for the negotiations, however, so presumably they are continuing, albeit at a slower pace because of the current difficulties. They have to be completed by the end of this year, however.

In the words of the former head of the World Trade Organisation, Pascal Lamy, “This is the first negotiation in history where both sides started off with a trade agreement and then discussed what barriers to erect”. They will go down in history as the Stupid Negotiations or, alternatively, the Really Really Stupid Negotiations. And all this while the Prime Minister is in Intensive Care and the country is in lockdown … brilliant! But on to more sensible things on Orkney.

When you leave South Ronaldsay you have to cross several causeways to get to the Mainland. Confusing for simple folks like us because, as far as we were concerned, we had left the mainland far behind at John O’ Groats. On Orkney, however, an archipelago of over 70 islands (the 20,000 population is spread over 20 of them) the largest island is called Mainland. When you become aware of the intricate system of small ferries and flights going to and fro between these islands it is easier to understand why.

Close your eyes

This is a very self-contained and independent community so they would naturally think of their biggest and most populated island as “the mainland”. To get there, all we had to do was drive across four causeways from South Ronaldsay to the island of Burray, then the island of Glimps Holm, then the island of Lamb Holm and we were there … simple. Simple yes, exciting .. very! The storm meant that waves were crashing right over all the causeways. We just closed our eyes and hoped for the best. The Italian Chapel, Orkney

Three potatoes

On Lamb Holm we came to the Italian Chapel. Amazing to think that this entire church was created by Italian prisoners of war, from a Nissen hut and nothing other than scrap materials e.g. the lanterns were made from corned beef tins. The Orkney Wine Company is right beside the Chapel. We had to buy some of their ‘Tattie Wine’. It’s handcrafted from three varieties of Orkney potatoes and matured in whisky barrels. “Discover more with every sip” it says. We’ll let you know.

A view of Stromness, Orkney
Stromness with a Northlink ferry in the middle distance
Lost café
High Street Stromness, Orkney
Main Street

Eventually, we reached Mainland and Stromness where we were lodging for the duration of our stay. Driving in Stromness is almost as exciting as driving the causeways. The main street, which bears seven different names, appeared more like a lane and we were not sure if we were supposed to drive along it since it was only about the width of a car … no problem. It is actually two way and no one here seems to have the slightest difficulty with it. Never even heard a horn being honked!

Login's Well, high Street Stromness, Orkney
Login’s Well on main street where Capt Cook watered the Resolution and Discovery in 1780 and Sir John Franklin watered his ships Erebus and Terror in 1845 … names to fire the imagination

 

 

By this time a scone was definitely called for and it was Julia’s Café & Bistro that rode to the rescue. It is situated at the harbour where the big NorthLink Ferries leave for Scrabster on the mainland. That’s the mainland mainland! Again the service was very friendly and helpful and yet again the scones were fab. A scone at Julias café, Stromness, OrkneyOur second Orkney scone was served with little disposable pots of jam and cream and although not too crunchy on the outside they were delicious .. another topscone. Apparently there is another café in Stromness but we couldn’t find it. It is doubtless tucked away in the plethora of tiny back lanes.

Raised eyebrows

We did find the An art exhibit at Stromness Art Centre, OrkneyPier Art Centre however which is a state of the art building with a wide variety of exhibits, one of which you can see here. All a bit beyond us but great to find such a modern and dynamic facility in Stromness. We spent quite a long time perusing. It was great to be out of the wind which was still blowing a hooley. Will it ever calm down? When you speak to Orkney folk about things like Hurricane Maria you usually just get a raised eyebrow. Hardy, no-nonsense folk!Interior view of Julias café, Stromness, OrkneyKW16 3AE        tel: 01856 850904             Julia’s Café Bistro

Again on the main street, we found a functioning K6 hiding in a corner next to the museum … made in Falkirk.A Falkirk K6 in Stromness main street, Orkney Pat, by the way, is now at thirty-two with her bird list and still a few days to go.

By the way, the Tattie Wine was okay but we won’t be rushing back for another bottle

ORKNEY SHED

A shed on South Ronaldsay, Orkney
A shed on South Ronaldsay in some wild weather

 

Scones, Top

The Bothy – Again

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We figured out how to repost. It required nothing more than the download of some plugin software and the whole process becomes relatively easy. The titles in reposts will contain “again” to signify that it is not an actual revisit but just an old post being regurgitated. Text in red is new but other than that the posts will remain unaltered. This is the first of our ‘island scone” reposts from the Isle of Muck and dates back to July 2017. In the post, you will see that we say that life on Muck will go on regardless “no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world”. How prophetic!

Boris has been taken into hospital with his coronavirus symptoms but you all know about that. Get well soon Boris! Did we just say that? On to important things. Sheds are the main reason for us visiting the islands. To take photos for our book “Sheds of Scotland”. In these reposts, we have decided to add a shed here and there as a wee bit of added interest. So, if you have always wondered what a Muck shed looks like, today might be your lucky day!

We sailed into Port Mòr, the capital of the Isle of Muck, in great anticipation. For some reason, this was the culmination of a long-held ambition to actually visit Muck rather than just viewing it from a distance. Maybe it has something to do with the name? We were not to be disappointed … it is a great island. Not in size, only 2 by 0.75 miles, but it just has a lovely feel to it. It’s fertile and the land seems well-tended giving it a softer look than its neighbours Rùm and Eigg.

On the Isle of Muck looking towards Skye
Looking towards Skye in the distance with Rùm to the left

We walked the only road on the island, about 1.6 miles long, and the same Land Rover passed us five times. It was the only thing that passed.

On the main road on the Isle of Muck
Looking the other way towards Port Mòr … waiting for a corncrake to appear
Muck meat

We stopped at one point because a corncrake was calling in one of the fields. In spite of a lengthy wait, as usual, this shyest of birds did not reveal itself. Muck has been owned since 1896 by the family of Lawrence and Ewen McEwen. It currently has a population of about 38.

Internal view of the Bothy tearoom on the Isle of Muck
Everyone is outside

The island is famous for its succulent ‘Muck Meat’ derived from lambs that thrive on the rich grassland in this stress-free environment. They also breed Highland ponies using a stallion that goes by the rather impressive name of ‘Strathmashie Seumas Mhor’. You can probably tell by now that we really like Muck. And to top it all off, they had scones in Port Mòr’s, Bothy tearoom. Sometimes you can just tell as soon as you walk into a place that there is a high probability of the scones being good … so it was with the Bothy.

We were served by Jenny McEwen who had made the scones earlier in the day. They were delicious and accompanied by a generous portion of homemade apricot jam and a knob of butter. Great coffee and sitting outside in the sunshine with chickens under the table waiting for crumbs didn’t do anything to lessen our enjoyment. Easy topscone. Well done Jenny and all the ladies who were providing great service in this tearoom. We only had three hours so before long it was time to make our way back to the ferry. Guess what we came across?

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Muck
Another Lion foundry, Kirkintilloch K6

You got it … a K6 standing high above the village. They really are everywhere, though this one was looking a wee bit sorry for itself. Unusually for such items in these parts, it did not seem to have acquired an alternative use.

Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck looking towards the mainland
Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck
A quieter more peaceful world

When you are on places like this, you definitely get the feeling that no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world, life on Muck will just go on regardless. The same could be said for all the islands we visited. They are indeed another world … a quieter more peaceful world. What possible interest could Putin or Trump have here? Not a lot, and we think that the islanders themselves are very happy for it to stay that way.  On the other hand, EU investment has been good for this part of the world. Let’s hope that the same level of interest is maintained, in a year or so,  when such decisions are left entirely to Westminster. Don’t hold your breath though.

Pier House in Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck
Pier House in Port Mòr

All too soon the hooter sounds on the ferry signalling that we must return to some semblance of reality … boo!

PH41 2RP         tel: 01687 460057/462990         The Bothy

ps: For those interested in Pat’s bird count from Arisaig, Eigg, Rùm and Muck here, it is in rough order of observation. Robin, starling, swallow, blackbird, dunnock, house sparrow, hooded crow, oystercatcher, greenfinch, song thrush, grey heron, black guillemot, cormorant, eider duck, guillemot, Manx shearwater, chaffinch, great black-backed gull, herring gull, collared dove, golden eagle, feral pigeon, sea eagle, buzzard, whitethroat, rock pipit, arctic tern, wood pigeon, pied wagtail, lesser black-backed gull, raven, kittiwake, pintail duck, gannet, skylark, rook, kestrel, wheatear, lapwing, greylag goose, goldfinch, pheasant, corn bunting, mistle thrush, corncrake (heard). That’s 44 in total.

I would give her 45 for that corncrake but I know our very strict birding mentor, RD, would not allow it. Oddly we didn’t see any swans or mallards and we just missed a storm petrel and some puffins. There were also quite a few warblers and such like that we could not positively identify. Pat was pleased with her total so that’s all that matters.

Ah, these were the days when we could just wander carefree looking for our feathered friends.

MUCK SHEDA Muck shed

 

Scones, Uncategorized

COVID-19

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This is not a government public service announcement about COVID-19! It’s just us! In these extraordinary times where we cannot access new scones, we thought we should try and reassure readers. Especially those concerned about the onset of scone withdrawal symptoms being mistaken for those of coronavirus. Have no fear! Coronavirus symptoms are a high temperature and a dry cough whereas those for scone withdrawal consist mainly of an intense, almost debilitating, sense of longing..

Because, of course, commercial scone baking has crashed we are left with little choice but to do it ourselves … provided you can get the ingredients. That’s not for everyone, so in these difficult times, we have decided that we can probably keep sconology going by simply digging into the archives. There won’t be any “fresh” scones but it may be interesting to look back and see if the rants were in any way justified. We may theme them. The first will probably be “island scones”. Not because there are better scones on the islands, more because we just like islands and, if nothing else, we will enjoy a little bit of nostalgia. Maybe one repost every week! Of course, that’s if we can figure out how to do it! If anyone would rather not receive them, please just let us know.

Texas and all that

We hope the UK is heading towards some sort of peak in the current pandemic but how will we know for definite when this pandemic is over? How will we know when normality has returned? Well, first of all, we need to go back in time to 1827. That’s when Beethoven died, Texas was still part of Mexico, Hussein Duval slapped the French consul’s face leading to the invasion of Algeria in 1830 and the term “socialist” was first used by Robert Owen. That last one is particularly apt since today the Labour Party elected Sir Keir Starmer as its new leader. He has a tough job making Labour electable again however we wish him well in providing some sort of opposition to the current hapless government.

Most importantly though, 1827 was the year our local pub, the Woodside Inn, first opened. It’s been serving the local community ever since. That is until two weeks ago when it closed its doors for the first time. Mon Dieu! Is this really the end of the world as we know it? I have been going there for well over fifty five years. So there you have it! We will recognise the return to normality when these doors open again. Hopefully, that won’t be too long!
Maybe it’s time to take a generic levitra no prescription cute-n-tiny.com lunch hour walk. They are particularly useful for information & advice about so called “embarrassment conditions” where people would rather consult a computer than deal face to face with another person about a problem they might have which they find themselves too embarrassed to talk about.Some of the most popular medicines purchased include; http://cute-n-tiny.com/cute-animals/standing-around-kitty/ cialis generic uk for erectile dysfunction, propecia for hair loss applications. Liver has many functions to perform one of the vital function is to get away with the first change of the bandagings and is normally one or tadalafil price in india two days after the operation. reference cheap cialis india Prolonged erectile problems can result in agony, lack of interest in sexual activity, disharmony in a marital relationship, and depression.

Stay safe

In the meantime, we thought we should toast you, our readers and all our wonderful worldwide correspondents for sticking by us through all the trials and tribulations of sconology. Together we will triumph but in the meantime, stay safe!

US at the Palm Court
in our natural habitat – the toast is THE SCONES!

 

Scones, Top

The Artisan Café

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The Artisan Café lies halfway between Crianlarich and Tyndrum in what used to be the Old Church.  It could easily be described as being in the middle of nowhere and as a consequence, you could easily think that nothing much has ever happened here. However, you would be wrong!

External view of the Artisan Café, TyndrumThe glen is Strathfillan, so-called because Fillan brought Christianity to the area in the 8th century from Iona. He had come from Ireland and had run a monastery in Fife before retiring to this area.

Dunking mad folk?

Apparently he was quite a guy. His left arm glowed which meant that he could write scriptures in the dark. He’s also the patron saint of the mentally ill. Such people would be dipped in St Fillan’s Pool in the Fillan river just behind the church and left tied up naked overnight. A cure had been achieved if the bonds were loosened by the morning. If not the process was repeated. He also persuaded the wolf that killed his ox to pull his plough instead of the ox. Where is St Fillan now, in our time of need? He would have made short work of a puny virus. And no, even after a prolonged period of self-isolation, we are not here to be dunked and tied up naked. Just a scone. We are not here at all, of course, all this was before the lockdown.

A sign at the Artisan Café, TyndrumHaving said that we could also be here to pan for gold. Considering the stock market has gone through the floor and the price of gold has rocketed, that’s not such a daft idea. The nearby Cononish gold mine is Scotland’s only commercial gold mine. In 1306, Robert the Bruce was given sanctuary here after he had murdered his rival for the crown, John Comyn, in a Dumfries church . He was tracked down, however, and had to flee when encountering vastly superior forces at nearby Dalrigh, the King’s Field. So, over time, quite a lot has happened in this tranquil little Highland glen but the most recent development has been this Artisan Café. It first opened about two years ago.

Internal view of the Artisan Café, Tyndrum
A view showing the original church organ to the right
Fresh food

The interior is as you would expect of a disused church. Lofty ceilings and plenty of space. There could easily be a mezzanine floor if they ever wanted to expand. It’s called the Artisan Café because it has lots of craft type things for sale, mostly by local artists. There’s stuff all over the place which tends to give it a slightly cluttered appearance. We were given a warm welcome though and shown to a seat beside the log burning stove. Everything is freshly made here on the premises so we were looking forward to sampling some of the food.

A cheere scones and a fruit scone at Artisan Café
Pat’s carrot and coriander soup with cheese scone and my fruit scone

Pat opted for ‘soup and a scone’ which turned out to be absolutely delicious. I had decided on caulifower and brocolli soup with a sandwich followed by a fruit scone and coffee. It was also delicious. We have to hand it to folks who start up a business like this in these remote parts. Their business will have been closed for several weeks now because of the coronavirus which must be heartbreaking. They got a topscone though so hopefully we will be able to look in again at some future date and get another one.

Confidence in government?

As the date for the return to normality recedes ever further into the distance we have little choice but to knuckle down and get on with it. It doesn’t help though when this lamentable government resorts to outright misinformation. Yesterday, the even more lamentable Michael Gove tried to blame the lack of COVID-19 testing on a shortage of the necessary reagents. Something which the industry point bland denies. No shortage Michael, just a government asleep on the job.

Habit

Talking of sleep, strange things happen when you are in lockdown. Every night before bed I take the change from my pocket and place it on the bedside table. Every morning I lift it and put it back in my pocket. It’s a habit! I just noticed, however, that the total amount is £10.36 … two £5 notes, one 20p, one 10p, one 5p and one 1p. It’s been that for almost three weeks. Self-isolation is cheap if nothing else! So why do I still do it? Answers on a postcard.

FK20 8RU.     tel: 01838 400391            Artisan

///brightens.confused.blackouts

ps: We are indebted to some of our Aussie correspondents (these ones are from Perth)  who have sent this movie of a live scone review caught on camera. This is footage which we think David Attenborough would be proud of. Filmed by the intrepid Mairi in the Café Red at Ricardoes tomato & strawberry farm near Port Macquarie in New South Wales. Strange in that we were, very recently, at Lachlan Macquarie’s grave on the Isle of Mull.

Elaine’s date and ginger scone definitely got the thumbs up. However, although an acknowledged expert on lamb chops and banana splits, John’s lack of experience with scones showed when his initially 10 out of 10 rating for his pumpkin scone was later downgraded to ‘rubbish’. Let that be a lesson. You can’t rush a scone tasting!

Ordinary, Scones

Bossard’s Patisserie

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This visit to Bossard’s Patisserie signifies the continuation of our tour of Oban and Mull. Okay, it’s a kind of virtual tour now but it did actually happen albeit over a week ago. They say a week is a long time in politics but, nowadays, it actually seems even longer in real life! Looking at the world media it appears that they have Boris sussed. Many of them seem to think that the only thing more dangerous than coronavirus is Boris Johnson himself. Okay we know it’s really Dominic Cummings but Boris is the face of Dominic.

Nicola Sturgeon and Boris Johnson
This neatly sums up the stark contrast between Nicola and Boris on coronavirus advice

And, in these dark times, what would we do without Donald Trump. He reckons it will all be over by Easter. Presumably, he thinks Easter is in September. How did these numpties end up in charge?

Anyway, on to important matters. As we said in our last post from Café Shore we are trying to space out our scones to cover this period of self-isolation. We hope you are all well and sitting waiting with bated breath for this post. Bossard’s Patisserie is actually only a hundred yards from Café Shore. It stands next to the river that flows down to the harbour area. We were puzzled by the name, Bossard’s. Turns out that the couple who own it, she is local but he is from Switzerland. Puzzlement over!

Internal view of Bossard's Patisserie, Oban

Elephant’s sufficiency

Bearing in mind that this place had to close its doors a day after our visit (nothing to do with our visit), it was quiet. Only one or two folks popping in for takeaway stuff. We were made to feel very welcome, however. It was mid-morning and we hadn’t had any breakfast. They had some unusual offerings. A scone at Bossard's Patisserie, ObanPat got coffee and a bacon and egg roll but I got ” three rolls and a scone” with coffee.  Just wanted to find out what it was. Suffice to say it consisted of three different types of bread, a scone and lots of jam and butter. We had witnessed the scones emerging from the kitchen so it wasn’t that hard a decision. There was no cream and probably just as well. There was an elephant’s sufficiency without cream. Some of the breads ended up going in a bag for us to take home.

The scone itself was about as fresh as you could get. It was delicious. Nice and warm with loads of fruit. If it hadn’t been for the prepackaged butter jam and the lack of cream this could have been a topscone. Unfortunate but this is a really nice place with loads of wonderful stuff all made on the premises. Hopefully, they will emerge from this coronavirus thing and keep doing what they were doing before. Good luck!External view of Bossard's Patisserie, Oban

Emotional times

In Falkirk, we live in a nice street. It could never be described as ‘happy go lucky’ or even having any real sense of ‘community’. Everyone is friendly enough but tend to keep themselves to themselves. Last night, however, we went to our front door at 8 o’clock to “clap in appreciation of the folks in NHS” expecting to be on our own. We were astonished to find everyone doing the same as us. The growing crescendo of clapping was very emotional. Things may never be quite the same again … some things might be for the better.

Lastly, don’t open any emails with “knock-knock” in the subject. It’s Jehovah’s Witnesses working from home!

PA34 4AY      tel: 01631 564641         Bossard’s FB

///puzzled.waiters.burglars

ps: we’ve just heard that our favourite bête noire, Boris, has tested positive. Oh dear, in spite of him and his like having stripped the NHS of hundreds of nurses and doctors, on a personal level we do wish him well.

pps: Sunnie's cheese sconesOur Perthshire correspondent, Lady12bore, has sent pics of her second ever attempt at scones. In this case, cheese scones. They look fab. Anyone else taken to baking to relieve the self-isolation monotony?

Ordinary, Scones

Café Shore

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Assuming that all our readers across the world, like us, find themselves stuck in the boredom of self-isolation, this post may go down in the history of sconology as the first to actually be welcomed. Yeah! Okay, we know that anything that breaks the monotony is welcome … but still!

Last week, it seems like aeons ago, when we left the Tobermory Bakery behind we stayed in Oban for a few days and that, of course, meant scones. We have decided to space them out over the next wee while so that readers might escape the worst of the effects of scone withdrawal. This one comes from Café Shore.

But first, never mind all this ‘stay at home’ stuff. Apparently all you have to do is get rid of your car … just get rid!! Then you can’t get carownervirus! Sorry, sorry, sorry! Obviously, the situation is extremely serious and we don’t want to minimise that in any way, however, it is amazing how humour helps. It seems like the more serious it is the more jokes come out. This one, for example, made us smile.Notice about coronavirus rationing

Rest assured we are not physically in Oban. We are definitely in solitary confinement with nothing better to do than annoy you with this blog. Actually this post is quite significant in sconological terms because Café Shore was where we posted our first review in March 2015. That was 372 scones ago and back then it was called Mitchell’s – the Coffee Corner. Imagine, five years of this nonsense! Okay, let’s not imagine!

Memory problemsGlasgow coat of arms at Café Shore, Oban

As we entered Café Shore we noticed this large, rather handsome, wall plaque. It’s Glasgow’s coat of arms. St Mungo is seen together with the bird that never flew, the tree that never grew, the bell that never rang and the fish that never swam. But what on earth was it doing in Oban? When we asked one of the staff why it was on the outside of the building she said “Oh, I do know … but I can’t remember!” She then proceeded to come to our table every few minutes to tell us that she still couldn’t remember. “It’s really annoying me”. To put her out of her misery we looked it up and it turns out that the building was originally built for the City of Glasgow Bank. “That’s what I couldn’t remember!” she said, joyously. The Bank failed spectacularly in 1877 ruining almost all its investors. We were hoping for better luck with the scones.

Welcome blackboard at Café Shore, ObanThis is a nice place with very happy welcoming staff. A scone at Café Shore, ObanWe ordered coffee and a fruit scone. It came with a nice wee pot of raspberry jam and some prepackaged butter … no cream. They had been freshly baked by Morvern and were delicious. Nice and crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle, just the way we like them. Not quite at topscone but ever so close.

Internal view of Café Shore, Oban
Very quiet, the effects of coronavirus already
Too little too late

Boris Johnson has finally decided to stop fudging and issue late but welcome instructions that, for him, are relatively clear. His initial advice about us all acquiring herd immunity was pathetic considering that herd immunity doesn’t actually exist without a vaccination program … and there’s no vaccine! He has been consistently behind the other UK nations throughout this whole episode. A follower, waiting to see what others are doing, rather than a leader. Now it’s too little too late.

Guy Fawkes and fake blondes

As we said earlier, our very first scone blog was from Oban in 2015 We wish, however, we had been here for Guy Fawkes night in 2011. Then the firework display that was scheduled to last 20 – 30 minutes actually lasted a few seconds when a computer malfunction set them all off at once. Unfortunate but apparently it was quite a sight!

Since our visit, Café Shore, along with hairdressers and everywhere else including Oban distillery, has had to close its doors. Hopefully, Tina and Morvern will be able to reopen and carry on with their excellent business very soon. With the closure of all hairdressers for the foreseeable future, we really feel for fake blondes.

Maybe we can all get back to some sort of normality very soon but in the meantime, behave. And if that’s too much to ask just misbehave as usual but at home! Keep safe.

PA34 4LJ.    tel:                                         Cafe Shore FB

///twinkled.lofts.scatters

Scones, Uncategorized

Tobermory Bakery

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This is not an ordinary post! It is an extraordinary post for extraordinary times. It’s a sad tale of bright-eyed hopes being dashed on the jagged coronavirus rocks of outrageous fortune. Perhaps that’s overstating a bit … but only a bit! Okay, okay, what we are trying to tell you is that there were no scones at the Tobermory Bakery. But let’s start at the beginning.

Duart Castle, Isle of Mull
passing Duart Castle, the 13th-century seat of Clan MacLean

In brief, I was having one of these special days you have every year and Pat thought we should spend it in Tobermory. A mini-adventure sailing to the Isle of Mull and reliving some old memories. The town itself holds many memories.

View of Tobermory
Tobermory with the bright blue Mishnish Hotel to the right
Safe haven

The last time I was here was on the return leg of a sailing trip to St Kilda. Out in the Atlantic, the weather had been a diabolical Force 10 – 12 and I was never so glad to see these brightly coloured houses, especially the Mishnish pub … a safe haven indeed!

As you know we don’t do silly things like that any more, we just make copious contributions to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution and spend our free time looking for scones. For this trip, we had set our sights on the Tobermory Bakery which boasted an excellent scone reputation.

On our way to TobermoryWe love ferries because they always take us somewhere exciting. We’re easily excited! To navigate to our destination we had to use the services of a Calmac Ferry called the Isle of Mull. We were on a package that included the return ferry fare, 10% off your breakfast on the boat and a return bus from Craignure to Tobermory … £38 for the two of us. There would be four hours set aside to wander around Tobermory.

Irresponsible

It only takes 45 minutes to get from Oban to Mull and by the time we had done a bit of bird spotting from the deck we were too late to cash in on the 10% breakfast discount. Damn, disappointment number one! Disappointment number two really because there were no birds either. It was a beautiful day though and when we arrived at Craignure a double-decker bus was waiting to take us on the last leg. Somehow it never occurred to us that the bus would be a double-decker. The boat had been very quiet and the bus was too. We got seats at the very front of the top deck, like a couple of excited kids. The reason everything was quiet of course was the coronavirus outbreak. We were feeling vaguely irresponsible for being out and about but then again we feel that way all the time.

The memories started almost right away. The bus had barely started when it took us down a tiny single-track road through the forest to the Fishnish terminal. That’s where the little ferry comes in from Lochaline on Ardnamurchan, the most westerly point on the UK mainland. Last time we were here, about 50 years ago, there was only a concrete ramp and a waste paper basket but now there was a hut as well. Fishnish has been developed! This was also the scene of Pat’s first and last encounter with a wood wasp. This harmless but fearsome-looking three-inch-long insect innocently landed on her shoulder. Never seen her move so fast. One minute she was sitting beside me and the next she was about 50 yards away. Anyway, it was great being able to do the hour-long trip with such a high vantage point. The views were sensational!

The Mishnish

Pat had lured me to Mull with the promise of a bottle of Tobermory single malt. The first thing we noticed as we entered the town was that the distillery was closed … coronavirus, arrrgghh! Disappointment number three! Why had we bothered? That only left the scones to look forward to. After a very pleasant walk around the coast to the Tobermory cannon, we headed for a pre-scone drink in the legendary Mishnish bar. Many a good night has been had in here on sailing trips. It was great to be back.

External view of Tobermory Distillery
This is what a closed distillery looks like from the top deck of a bus … tragic!

Then, at last, it was scone time. The Tobermory Bakery is just along from the Mishnish so we happily ambled along in the glorious sunshine. As I went to take a picture of the bakery Pat went in to place our order.

Don’t eat the pies
Sign at the Tobermory Bakery
A sign in the window of the Tobermory Bakery

Before I had finished taking the picture Pat was coming back out … no scones! Sacre bleu! All the other cafés were shut … coronavirus. Devastation! Disappointment number four. Not really their fault, with everywhere else being closed they just hadn’t made enough to cope with the extra demand. The expectation was that this place would get a topscone award, however, it was not to be. We will return to test these scones another day though we may give the pies a miss.

Sampling the Ledaig in Tobermory Hotlel
Happy me with a  glass of Ledaig single malt

Instead of eating scones we bought some postcards to send to our collection of brats that masquerade as granddaughters. After sitting writing them out in the rather comfortable Tobermory Hotel we went to the Post Office … closed, coronavirus! There wasn’t even a post box! Disappointment number five! Our bus driver, however, said he would stop at Salen, about halfway back to Craignure, and Pat could get off and post them at the Post Office there. As it happened there was a post box before Salen and he pulled in so close she didn’t even have to get off. The other passengers all thought it was hilarious. Only on the islands, that’s why we love them.View of Tobermory

Normally, the islands have a markedly different way of life. They are independent and practical people who just get on with things when the mainland can be floundering. This virus thing is different, however. They can’t just carry on when the shellfish industry has completely collapsed and tourism is being strangled. There is a possibility that the ferries may be stopped in order that the islands do not become infected. That’s great for stopping infection and if anyone can cope with isolation it’s the islanders, however, cutting off their livelihoods as well would be a calamity. But what is the alternative?

A fresh look at who we are

Coronavirus has exposed so many cracks in our economy and our society. The gig economy is shown for what it is, an almighty disaster for those on short term and zero-hours contracts. With Richard Branson appealing from his private island for a taxpayer bailout of his many companies it shows us that inequality is now the norm, it is deeply embedded in our society. However, it also shows us who the really important people are … usually the lowest paid, the cleaners and the care workers. We all depend on them. It shows us that across the world we are all much the same with the same concerns and worries. We all depend on each other.

Back home now and isolating ourselves as per Boris’s garbled instructions. We are being responsible, it’s a weird feeling. There are scones in reserve however so don’t expect any immediate respite from sconology. Take care, everyone!

PA75 6NU      tel: 01688 302225      Tobermory Bakery FB

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Ordinary, Scones

The Brown Palace Hotel

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In the face of the current Caronavirus outbreak, the government is concerned for the elderly. Fair enough we thought. Then we realised that they were talking about us. The nerve! Funny how, when you get to a certain age, in spite of the fact that every limb is creaking, it still never crosses your mind that you could be classed as ‘elderly’. Now they are also saying that we have to self isolate for four months. Jings, crivvens, help ma bob! In Scottish, that phrase indicates a level of astonishment towards the very top of the scale.

Logo of the Brown Palace HotelCould this mean the end of sconology as we know it? Not a bit of it because today our scone comes from the Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, Colorado. Eh? Yes, yet again, another of our dedicated band of correspondents has ridden to the rescue. So it’s not us, it’s them, our USA correspondents. And this is not just any old common or garden US motel, like you might find in Schitt’s Creek this an altogether classier establishment. In their own words:

“We were staying at The Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, Colorado. It was built in terms of American history, a long time ago, circa 1892, so it’s fairly new!! The hotel’s claim to fame is the large number of celebrities who have stayed. Including almost every US President except Obama and Trump. What’s interesting is that no-one said why they didn’t stay, they were more interested in telling us that the Beatles stayed, maybe even in the same Presidential suite we had, who knows.  Molly Brown, a famous survivor from the Titanic, stayed for a couple of weeks it seems, but the hotel is not named after her, just a coincidence.

Winning bulls

Another great feature if you happen to be in the hotel during the stock show is that they bring in the winning bull, right into the lobby for all to see, and smell. We missed that but did get to enjoy the very historic building and the very friendly staff.

Internal view of the Brown Palace Hotel, Denver, ColoradoEvery day they have Afternoon Tea in the main 8 stories high atrium. It’s a beautiful room with a piano player and ladies dressed in fancy hats, with ripped jeans. It’s Colorado, things are pretty relaxed here. With all the marijuana being consumed and the thin air, everyone seems a bit light-headed.  

Titanic

What could not be obtained was coffee, “no sir, this is afternoon tea, we don’t have coffee making facilities available”. Coffee was obtained from the bar, and the scones put to the test.Afternoon tea at the Brown Palace Hotel Real clotted cream, OK. Jarred, decent brand jam, OK. But, the scones were small in stature, and basically impossible to put either cream or jam on. I did try to do the jam first in an attempt to hold it together, but it ended up looking like trifle on the plate once the cream was added. Scones at the BrownIf the Titanic hit an iceberg with the consistency of the aforementioned scone, it would still be sailing today, probably spreading Covid-19 as good as any other ship. Of course, with the scone being obtained as a “perk” for being a Marriott Ambassador Elite member, therefore, no charge, I kept my disappointment to myself, and the fine folks reading here.View from 14,000feet to the top of Pikes Peak, Colorado

Colorado

Colorado is an amazing state. You go from desert-like conditions that are dry and arid, 20 C, and then climb 14,000feet to the top of Pikes Peak and it’s -5 C , all in the same day. My mum would love the drive up there, with the sheer drops of 1000 feet or more on one side and the snow piled up on the other. Now it’s the trip back home going from hand sanitizer to hand sanitizer, staying 6 feet from the nearest human as much as possible and holding your breath for the whole 2-hour flight back. Unless, of course, Mr Trump says we can’t and stops more travel”.

Gratis scones

No topscone unfortunately but we are indebted to our correspondents for their excellent report. They were right when they said that the hotel was not named after Titanic’s Molly Brown. It’s named after its founder, real estate developer, Henry Cordes Brown. The triangular plot the hotels sits on was where he used to graze his cow. Nowadays they even have colonies of bees on the roof. It’s part of their drive to be as green as possible. We were not aware that it was possible to get free scones anywhere so we will have to look into this Ambassador Elite shenanigans.Honey bees at the Brown Palace Hotel

Sliced bread

We have come to the conclusion that coronavirus is the best thing since sliced bread. Judging by the news, wars have ceased, famine has been eradicated, refugees have stopped coming, climate change has become of little consequence … brill! Oh but the stock market? We don’t want to appear selfish or self-centred but will our pensions be okay? Will we ever get to stay in the Presidential Suite at the Brown Palace Hotel … and get gratis scones?? And before you ask, yes, we’re okay for toilet rolls.

CO 80202       tel: +1 303-297-3111          Brown Palace

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Scones, Top, topweird

The Little Bakery

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Today we are in South Queensferry at The Little Bakery. It’s a bit of a misnomer because once you get inside it’s really quite big. There’s a couple of seating areas at the front, another at the side and yet another downstairs at the back. The town itself is very pretty with narrow cobbled streets and quaint houses. It’s designed for horses and carts rather than the juggernauts that are here today creating chaos as they try to manoeuvre between the buildings with inches to spare.

A view of the Forth Bridge
The Forth Rail Bridge, opened exactly 130 years ago

Nothing much has changed here over the centuries other than the addition of the odd bridge or three. And, as you walk around, it’s olde worlde charm makes it very easy to forget what a crazy crazy world we live in.

A view of the Forth Road Bridge
The Forth Road Bridge and the Queensferry Crossing
Good British viruses

President Trump has just banned all travel to the US from Europe because of coronavirus. Mysteriously, the UK has an exemption, however. This must be one of the first benefits of not being in Europe or does he not realise that although we’ve left the EU, we haven’t actually physically moved. Or does Trump have an ulterior motive, a trade deal perhaps? Yes, think we’ll go with that one. Or maybe he thinks the British virus, is much healthier than those from countries that don’t speak English. Who knows what, if anything, goes on in his head? Thankfully his aides have now come out to correct everything he said.

Internal view of the Little Bakery, South QueensferryThe Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, delivered his first budget the other day. It was full of bountiful gifts for ‘the people’. The only thing lacking was any sense of a grip on reality. Apparently, the past decade has been forgotten where untold hardships were inflicted on the poor so that the rich could get richer. And it’s not as if all this austerity now puts us in a position where we have accumulated enough that we can dish out money left, right and centre. No, no, no, it will all have to be borrowed, about £100bn! Brilliant, I could be Chancellor!

Meaningless opposition

We don’t blame Boris or Rishi however, we blame Jeremy Corbyn.  Having no idea what he or his party stood for, he left the people with no choice but to vote Tory and hence we end up where we are today. And he’s still there at the Dispatch Box … a totally meaningless opposition figure. Go Jeremy, just go!

A scone at the Little Bakery, South QueensferryThis is all very well but we can hear you crying “Were there scones at the Little Bakery? Just get to the point?” Okay, yes there were!

Not only scones but an array of delicious looking baking that could easily have induced overindulgence. We maintained discipline, however, and after a light lunch, we just had our scones. Pat had fruit and I had a raspberry and chocolate chip. It had to be done! They were fab! Wonderful texture and with a lovely crunch. The only downside was messy fingers from the melting chocolate. A real dilemma when you’re not supposed to lick your fingers nowadays. We just licked anyway! Having forgotten to ask for cream we ended up not bothering.  To be honest the scones were so good they didn’t need any further embellishment. This is a really nice place and we think that you would be hard pushed to have a disappointing visit. Easiest topscone in ages.

A wall of flowers at the Little Bakery, South Queensferry
A wall of flowers at the Little Bakery
Lucky, lucky, lucky

We have reviewed several scones in South Queensferry. Five years ago we reviewed the Jitter Bean Café. That was when the EU was in the process of bailing out Greece with a £50bn loan. When we left the Little Bakery we thought we would take a stroll and see how it was doing. Sadly it has gone and been changed into something else. As far as we know, Greece is still there so it must have fared a bit better. While we walked along the street we came on this large wall plaque. When you consider that back in 1817 the inhabitants of South Queensferry were indebted to the ‘liberality’ of someone for a bleaching green and some water we should be a little more thankful for what we have today. We are all very lucky really. Okay, we’re a bit short on bleaching greens but we do have water and raspberry and chocolate chip scones!

EH30 9PP       tel: 0131 319 2255        Little Bakery

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by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics