Tag Archives: Callander

Ordinary, Scones

Fat Jacks

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Here we are again visiting my elderly aunt in Callander. We’ve got a nerve, she’s not that much older than us. The last time we were in this cafe, however, was three years ago and back then it was called Applejacks. Now its undergone a minor name change to Fat Jacks. Don’t know what that’s all about because it still looks pretty much the same.

Looking north up Loch Lubnaig
Loch Lubnaig from the Cabin. My cousin used to say there was the wreck of a plane on the hill on the left but I never knew whether to believe him or not
Square sausage

Our reason for being out and about was actually to visit the Cabin at Loch Lubnaig. When we used to travel this road every weekend going to Glencoe this was just a little lay-by with a litter bin as the only facility.

The Cabin at Loch Lubnaig
the Cabin

A few years back this café was built but because we were always on our way to somewhere else we have never stopped to investigate. We also realised that we would never stop there unless we made it our destination. So that’s why we ended up here. Just our luck, best laid plans and all that, it turned out to be just a serving hatch. No sitting in but lots of seats outside … and no scones …. argh! Heyho, it was a lovely day. We got a coffee and shared a roll and square sausage. We’ve been together many years now so Pat has got used to extravagant fine dining! 

Looking north up Loch Lubnaig
we counted five hardy souls swimming in the loch and lots of paddle boarders

For a scone we had to backtrack to Callander, hence we ended up at Fat Jacks. Dedication or what? There were only cherry scones left so that simplified the decision making. A scone at Fat JacksThey had obviously been baked as a large round then cut up in a triangular shape, a bit like a pizza. No cream or jam though. The lady behind the counter explained that the owners were trying to sell the place so there wasn’t a large selection of anything. And it had that kind of feel about it. The scone had plenty cherries and was nice enough but without the usual accoutrements it was never going to be a topscone.

Hells angels

Not to worry, it was lovely sitting in the sunshine watching the good folks of Callander going about their business. The general peace and quiet, however, was somewhat rudely interrupted by a gang of Hells Angels roaring into town on their Harley Davidsons. They parked right beside us in Ancaster Square and we watched with interest to see what would happen next.  They took off their helmets and there wasn’t one of them below retirement age. Should have known … how else can you afford a Harley? They wandered off along the street … probably anxious to find a scone!

Progress ?

In our previous post from Applejacks you will doubtless remember us mentioning Scottish satirist James Thomson Callendar.

wind in Callander
This shop window might be better placed at Westminster

A couple of hundred years ago he published a book  rather nattily entitled  “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” You’ve probably all read it by now but we wonder what he would have made of our progress since these days? Not much we suspect. Back then, however,  he was obliged to flee the country for daring to criticise the government. No sense of humour or just unable to face the truth … you decide.

FK17 8ED     tel: 01877 330370      Fat Jacks FB

///discussed.tungsten.marathon

Ordinary, Scones

Main Street Bakery

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Honestly, the things we do for our readers! Here we were in Callander attempting to expand your sconological knowledge and encountering great difficulties. Some of the cafés were closed, some were open but did’t do scones and others we had alraedy reviewed on previous occassions … argh! The weather was also being very Scottish. And you though this sconing malarkey was easy! Suffice to say, as we gambled merrily along Main Street, we came across the Main Street Bakery. No idea how it got that name!

Internal view of Main St Bakery
Who is that?
Café??

In the window they had a display of scones that looked quite good and a sign saying “fresh coffee”. Seemed worthy of investigation. Turned out it was tiny and because of COVID they were only allowed a maximum of two people in at a time. Gadzooks, there was already an elderly gentleman sitting there. He said he was leaving soon so we told him to hurry up so that we could get in. Okay, it wasn’t quite like that but he did kindly vacate the premises and we were in, yeagh!

A cheese scone for Pat and  fruit one for me. It soon became very obvious that this is a bakery with a coffee machine and not a café as such. COVID means they can’t put all the usual stuff out on the table. So while the seating area was being sanitised my scone was being buttered and jammed behind the bakery counter. Thank you COVID!!Main St Bakery logo

Rules and regulations

Tea for Pat and coffee for me. Tea was no problem but the lady said I would have to get my coffee from the machine?? A scone at Main St BakeryI said I would have tea instead but then she offered to make me a cup of instant. Instant it was. So there you have it! A pre-loaded scone, a polystyrene cup of instant coffee and some plastic cutlery. Bet you wish you had been there! To be fair the ladies keeping this place going were doing their best and we quite enjoyed being able to sit for a while and watch the world go by outside.

The coffee and the scone weren’t actually that bad but Claridges, it most certainly was not! No topscone here. While these ladies were looking after us they were also dealing with a constant stream of customers buying from the bakery. It gave us a pretty good insight into how the hospitality industry and everyone in it is having to adapt to weird circumstances.

Santa?

Andy Burnham has not been pushed out yet but his campaign to get increased support for Greater Manchester has had some effect. Internal view of Main St BakeryNow that London has become ‘high risk’ as well, support has been increased for this level … typical! Here in Scotland the lockdown restrictions have been increased and won’t be relaxed unti November at the earliest. We are starting to worry about Santa! How will he cope with all these restrictions? What happens if he catches coronavirus. Has Boris got a contingency plan for this looming crisis?  

The US Presidential election is also looming. As humble sconeys we are completely impartial and have no opinion one way or the other but please please don’t let it be Trump!

FK17 8BD           tel: 01877 330374        Main St Bakery FB

///spud.ooze.bothered

ps our Bathurst correspondent has been in touch to show us the excellent results of some homebaking and the effect of a sconefest on their friends. Looks like these were topscones!Bathurst scones, before and after

Following a recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald he has also announced that he and fellow correspondent, the New South Welshman, are inspired by scones to take on a new 400km bike trail. Australian cycle trail scones

They won’t be doing it until next year but we are already anticipating  some interesting Aussie scone reports. Good luck to both.

Scones, Top

Pips

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There’s an old saying, “giving someone the pip”. It derives from ‘the Pip’ which used to be a disease of chickens but, in modern day parlance, means to annoy or irritate. Now far be it from us to suggest that our Prime Minister was giving us the pip but we were really looking forward to the prorogation of Westminster so that we would not have to put up with him for a while. But then, all of a sudden, up pops a triumvirate of Scottish judges to say the prorogation was actually illegal. Boris had been telling porky pies to the Queen. Will he end up in the Tower? Will he keep his head? Watch this space. If you want news of the UK’s first beheading in a while just keep reading the scones. You will be the first to know. We’re pretty sure he would have simply talked to her in his usual blustering way and dear old HRH wouldn’t have had a clue what he was on about … just like the rest of us!

So, given that Scottish judgement, maybe Parliament hasn’t been prorogued after all …. arrrgghh!

Internal view of Pips Coffee Shop in CallanderAnyway, talking of pips, here we are in Callander, in Pips Coffee Shop. We had spent the morning helping my aunt, who lives here, celebrate her 95th birthday. Nothing too outrageous, just a cup of tea, a biscuit and lots of chat. It was great to see her in such good form.

Busy, busy!

After we left, rather than drive straight home we decided to get some lunch before we left town. The last time we tried Pips it was closed and we ended up in Applejacks. Today, however, it was open … and very busy. There seemed to be only one young girl clearing tables, serving everything and manning the cash desk. She was literally running the whole time but simultaneously managing to be polite and welcoming to everyone … amazing!

A scone at Pips Coffee Shop in CallanderWe had spotted the scones on our way in. They looked quite big so we decided to share one after our meal. Everything was great, however, our scone did not look that promising. Having reviewed almost 340 scones, in our expert opinion it looked pretty solid. Our expectations were correspondingly low. What do we know? It was rather wonderful. Not crunchy at all but instead had a taste and texture that was surprisingly nice. Expectations confounded yet again. By the time we had finished the café was inexplicably empty. Thankfully our young lady might get some respite. A topscone, so well done Pips.

Hard earned title snatched

When we asked who Pip was, no one seemed to know. They said it was lost in the mists of time. Is it too much to ask that Boris follow Pip. At least one person is happy … Theresa May! She has had her title as ‘worst Prime Minister ever’ immediately snatched from her. If nothing else, Bojo has achieved that!

Callander main street
Main Street, Callander

FK17 8BL           tel: 01877 330470            Pips Coffee Shop TA

///engineers.union.equipping

ps There is a curious thing going on at the moment in our home town of Falkirk. A campaign has been mounted to save the last of the town’s K6 telephone boxes from removal. They were manufactured in Falkirk so form part of the town’s heritage. The Council, however, appears to have little interest.

We are once again indebted to our Trossachs correspondents who have sent pictures of this K6 in Portsmouth.  A K6 telephone box in PortsmouthPortsmouth’s Council obviously have much more in the way of imagination than Falkirk’s. They also sent this photo of a cannon at Gunwharf Quay in Portsmouth. Made at Carron Iron Works in 1810.A Carron cannon in Portsmouth

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Courtyard Coffee House

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Once again we are in Callander visiting an elderly relative. Once again, after a visit to the Outdoor Shop we were peckish. We wandered across the street to this place thinking we might get a scone. Crikey, it’s a strange place! Not even a name above the door! We swithered and thought perhaps we should go to Applejacks, directly opposite. We had already reviewed Applejacks and knew it to be good but our dedication to sconological research took over. In we went!

Pavement billboard at the Courtyard Coffee House in CallanderNot only was there no name above the door, it had an estate agent’s ‘For Sale’ sign outside. However, no presence on the estate agents website. We looked!  In fact it doesn’t appear to have a presence of any kind on the internet. No website, no FaceBook, no Tripadviser? The only way we  discovered its name was on the pavement billboard outside.

So, it kind of had a name … hurrah! As well as a name it had scones, fruit and plain … hurrah again! Who cares about all that other stuff. The strangeness continued, however. It was self service and the staff were very friendly but we had to pay up front before they brought our order and it was cash only. All a wee bit surreal.

Internal view of the Courtyard Coffee House in Callander

Scone assistance

When our scones arrived the lady explained that she had already cut them in half for us because they were so light and crumbly. She hoped we would manage them without further assistance. Her concern was not entirely misplaced. The scones were incredibly light and full of currants, sultanas and cherries. A scone at the Courtyard Coffee House in CallanderThey were indeed quite difficult to manage. When you lifted them they just crumbled and fell back to the plate. You had to scoop them up and tip them into your mouth in a slightly undignified fashion. They were delicious, however, and the crystallised sugar topping gave them a delightful sweet crunchiness. All things considered, however, this was no topscone.

There is no point in giving you contact details for this place because there aren’t any. Unless we were involved in some sort of Brigadoon experience, all we can say is that it was there. It wasn’t just a figment of our over active imaginations. However it may not be there tomorrow or next week so if you fancy a really crumbly but delicious scone you had maybe better get your skates on.

Fashion

Talking of ethereal things like Brigadoon, we were saddened by the news that Karl Lagerfeld has died. Unlikely as it may seem, our family is steeped in the fashion industry. Brands like Alexander McQueen and Jimmy Choo owe much to our family. Okay, maybe not that much but definitely a bit! Fashion, frivolous and transient as it may be, adds much to our lives and Lagerfeld, somehow, symbolised it perfectly. After all. few would like to be uniformly dressed by Chairman Mao, extinguishing all sense of individuality. Lagerfeld epitomised the frippery of fashion but also had wise words. He once said. “When people talk about the good old days, I say to people, ‘It’s not the days that are old, it’s you that’s old.’ I hate the good old days. What is important is that today is good.”  Perhaps he should have been running the country instead of Chanel.

Anyway, the Courtyard Coffee House was there … honest!

Scones, Top

Applejacks

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Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander. Logo at Applejacks, Callander

In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company.  Internal view of Applejacks, Callander The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.

Misdemeanours

Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. A scone at Applejacks, CallanderSince they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note!  It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!

Too and fro

In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest.  Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.

Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. External view of Applejacks, CallanderA few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk  in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.

Criticising the government

Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.

Foundations

Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.

Customer distribution map of the world at Applejacks, Callander
a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers

However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.

FK17 8ED     tel: 01877 330370    Applejacks FB

ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.A humorous sign at Applejacks, Callanderand some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all

Knitted bollard cosies outside Applejacks, Callander

Ordinary, Scones

Kilmahog Woollen Mill

Firstly, let us wish you all a good new year, may it be a great one! In spite of all the dodgy politics. Now, what you have all been waiting for … the first scone of 2018!

It wasn’t the balmy -1°C temperature that drove us in here in search of woolly underpants. Rather that we were out and about on a beautiful sunny day enjoying the scenery and this is where we ended up … purely by accident. It was a bit nippy though! For those unfamiliar with Kilmahog (quite a few we suspect) it is just outside Callander at the junction of the Trossachs and Lochearnhead roads.

Queen Victoria

It’s a tiny hamlet of just a few houses yet manages to sport two woollen mills. The Trossachs Woollen Mill and the Kilmahog Woollen Mill as well as a pub (The Lade Inn) with its own microbrewery. At one time the Oban railway ran through here but it is now a cycle track and popular as part of the Rob Roy Way. Still standing at the road junction is the 19th-century toll-house where Queen Victoria once had to cough up some money in order to continue her journey.

Samson's putting stone near Kilmahog
Samson’s putting stone on Bochastle hill

 

Best of all though, on the small hill opposite Kilmahog there is a massive rock, known locally as Samson’s Putting Stone. Legend has it that, Samson, one of the Fingalian giants threw it  three miles, from his home on Ben Ledi during a competition with rival giants. Some say he actually threw it from Ben Lawers … a phenomenal twenty three miles.  Yet others say it is a glacial erratic left by a receding glacier. To us, this latter explanation seems slightly far fetched. One thing is clear, these giants did not tidy up after their games! The woollen mill itself is pretty big and, of course, stuffed full of everything tartan you could imagine. Yes, underpants! Internal view of Kilmahog Woollen Mill

Too Scottish

The café part is quite big as well and obviously is set up to deal with bus parties in the summer. When it’s busy you probably would not notice the rather utilitarian nature of the place. However, when it’s quiet it becomes rather obvious. The service was what we would normally describe as ‘surly‘ and far too Scottish for our liking. With Brexit on the horizon we had better get used to it. No more of our eastern european friends eager to work and giving excellent happy service. What an idiotic world we live in! A scone at Kilmahog Woollen Mill

On the upside, our somewhat low scone expectations were confounded when it turned out to be surprisingly good. Fresh and slightly crunchy on the outside. They charged a fortune for the jam but the cream was plentiful and good. On its own, this could have maybe squeezed into the topscone category but the overall experience let it down badly … shame!

Expectations

Expectations were further confused by a warning sign in the toilets. It seemed to suggest that you would only get hot water if the wind was blowing from a certain direction, or the moWarning notice at Kilmahog Woollen Millon was aligned with Mars. Or, maybe it was simply down to Samson being in a good mood … who knows? It certainly heightened anticipation when using the cold tap. So our first scone adventure of the year at Kilmahog Woollen Mill had mixed outcomes. Good to be on the hunt once more on such a lovely day. However, a frustratingly disappointing scone experience over all. Things can only get better! Or maybe not?

Oprah for President

As Theresa May gets on with rearranging the deckchairs we hope that at least she, unlike the local giants, will at least tidy up after herself because it is bound to end up in a mess no matter how much she shuffles them. In the USA, Oprah Winfrey is thinking of running against Donald Trump. We have no wish to take anything away from Ms Winfrey but how on earth did it get to this?

FK17 8HD    Tel: 01877 330268    Kilmahog Woollen Mill TA

Ordinary, Scones

The Smiddy Farm Shop Café

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Logo for the Blair Drummond Smiddy Farm Shop, Butchery and CaféIncredible

No sooner have we posted Venachar Lochside, a new and thriving business in the heart of the Trossachs, when along comes another one.  This time it is The Smiddy. Or to give it it’s more fullsome name, the Blair Drummond Smiddy, Farm Shop, Butchery and Café … phew! We have watched it being built over the past year on the road out of Stirling, slightly beyond the Safari Park, where it forks for Aberfoyle and Callander, and had heard it was to open towards the end of October. Since we were in Stirling and, having taken the precaution of phoning to see if it had actually opened. Having been reassured that it was, we thought we should check it out. Picture of restaurant area at the Blair Drummond Smiddy

Just opened

When we arrived, though, we discovered it was much newer than we had ever anticipated … it had been open for all of 75 minutes … breaking news, as they say in the media! So what do you get when you visit a farm shop/café that has only been in existence for just over an hour? Well, you get lots of things that are not quite right: wifi not working; shelves not full; items not priced; staff slightly stressed but you also get things that are very right: pleasant helpful staff; local produce (meat from Old Leckie farm and bakery items from Stag); great coffee (Henry’s) … and great scones! Picture of a fruit scone at the Blair Drummond SmiddyNo cream but plenty jam and butter and the most fruit we have seen in a fruit scone in a long time. The baker at the Smiddy (Harry) had done a great job. After much deliberation however we reckoned that they were just slightly too big for our taste. And, with there not being any cream, they just missed out on a topscone award … pity.

Teething problems

Okay, there were a few teething problems with this newborn enterprise but, given the circumstances, remarkably few. Overall this is a great place and will get even better as it settles down. Yet another fantastic stop-off point for the Trossachs. It’s already quite big but you can see how it has been designed with expansion in mind and we are sure it will have to do just that in the not too distant future.

Interior view showing butchery counter at the Blair Drummond Smiddy
The butchery counter and our favourite workbench ever

If only such foresight and planning could be demonstrated by the UK government. The nightmare is, that when it comes to the pantomime that is the US elections, we have been rendered unable to scoff in the slightly superior way that we would like. Our own lot are just as bad, if not worse. What an admission that is!

The Jungle

On a slightly different tack, the Calais ‘Jungle’ refugee camp is being dismantled as we write. The contents scattered around the rest of France. No matter what you think of the politics, on a purely human level it is an absolute catastrophe. Can any of these people even begin to imagine what it is like to sit in gorgeous Stirlingshire on a beautiful day eating Harry’s scones and drinking Henry’s coffee? We doubt it! Let’s hope that some day they can, at least, imagine it. We wish them and the Smiddy the best of luck for the future.

FK9 4UY          tel: 01786 235024      The Smiddy