Tag Archives: Jonah

Hotel Montefiore Tel Aviv

Sea shells

תֵּל אָבִיב-יָ‎, that’s Hebrew for Tel Aviv and  تل أَبيب-يافا‎‎, that’s Arabic for the same thing but what else does Tel Aviv have other than two languages that are completely indecipherable to most of us? Well it’s famous for lots of things e.g. this is where Jonah set sail from before he was eventually swallowed by a fish. Interestingly, the city was established in 1909, by dividing up sea shells on a sand dune in a kind of lottery. One hundred and twenty shells were collected from the beach … sixty white and sixty grey. People’s names were written on the white shells and plot numbers were written on the grey shells. A boy drew names from one box of shells and a girl drew plot numbers from the second box … brilliant!

Grannies

Now, however, besides having a population of almost half a million people, it transpires, according to our Middle East correspondent, that Tel Aviv now has scones. Surely a measure of how far and how civilised it has come in a relatively short time. The Hotel Montefiore is the place in question. Our correspondent sets the scene:

“A sanctuary of peace in the centre of Tel Aviv? No seller’s cries? No TVs. No politicians arguing? No gunshots? No, none of that … just the occasional customer’s chuckle. The cafe was a real surprise….ochre interiors with subtle illumination and dark furnishings, palInternal view of the Hotel Montefiore, Tel Avivm trees and in the background I think I detected Paul Desmond’s sax. Nubile waitresses attired in elegant black summer dresses waving menus elaborated in the King’s English served the scones and poured the jasmine tea. We cannot deny that our appetites had already been whetted by reading those weekly experiences of our scone mentors in Scotland. The objects of our desire were delicious. Crunchy on the outside and softish inside with a few raisins. Squarish instead of roundish but the taste and consistency were just perfect. Even my Granny in Dublin would have enthused“.

Free scones

Given suchA scone at the Hotel Montefiore, Tel Aviv a wonderfully detailed and enthusiastic report as well as an endorsement from a Dublin granny, we feel we have no option but to award the Montefiore a topscone. Or, at least a topscone for a foreign scone! We also notice on the hotel’s website, for all you really keen sconeys already booking your flights to Tel Aviv, that: “Hotel Montefiore invites guests to unwind and enjoy a happy hour of expertly crafted cocktails along with complimentary scones, coffee and tea”. Go get ’em! Many thanks to all our correspondents for expanding our horizons so deliciously.

66 88 3 Israel    tel: +972 3 5646100   Hotel Montefiore

A white K6 in Hull
White K6, tweeted by Petroc Trelawny
K1 telephone box at Tintinhull
repro K1 in Sumerset

In our previous post we asked “what colour is a red telephone box?” Perhaps it was only to be expected that ‘the Pedant’ would respond. He forwarded a picture of an albino K6 located in Hull. What ever next? If anyone can spot a K1 we would be delighted to hear from you … photographic evidence please.

Legends Coffee House

Our island hopping adventures have sadly come to an end and we are now back in the real world. At Legends Coffee House in Stirling to be precise. The legend referred to in the name is, of course, William Wallace, Scottish hero, general all round good guy and star of the movie Braveheart. This facility serves visitors to the Wallace Monument … it is where you start and finish your visit. Internal view of Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, Stirling

Tartan stuff

You should drop in … especially if you have just completed the climb to the top of the monument. We had friends from Arizona with us. We forced them up the Abbey Craig, the hill on which the monument stands. Then the 246 steps to the top of the monument, all with the bribe of a scone. We were having to pay up. Memorabilia at the Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, StirlingMost of this place is  new since we were last here and thankfully takes up the site previously occupied by a diabolical statue of Wallace. The shop is full of the usual stuff that we suspect tourists must get really fed up with after they have been round some of Scotland’s main attractions. It always seems much the same  tartan or saltire emblazoned memorabilia everywhere you go.

That said, Legends Coffee House, in spite of being quite busy, was clean, tidy and appeared well run. But, dear oh dear, our scones felt really heavy! So heavy, in fact, we thought we might have to brandish Wallace’s mighty double handed claymore to cut them in half … hopes of impressing our American friends with a good Scottish scone were fading fast. A scone at the Legends Coffee House at the Wallace Monument, StirlingAs it turned out, however, they tasted quite good and our friends were fascinated by the butter, jam and cream rituals which we don’t even think about. And at least it was all Scottish produce. All in all, it evolved into quite a good experience for everyone … but not good enough for a topscone unfortunately.

Just a blur

This monument to William Wallace is here because of his famous victory over the much larger English army at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297 which helped establish Scotland as a free and independent nation. Goodness knows what he would have thought of the ‘parcel of rogues’ that, almost 400 years after his death, forced Scotland into a union with England. Even worse, that Scotland is still in it. He was hung, drawn and quartered in London. His head and body parts distributed throughout the land as a warning to any other uppity Scots. So no grave to spin in. If he had one, he would would just be a blur.

His statue looks down from its stance high on the monument at Scotland’s present day subordination and it must be thinking “what a right feckless bunch I gave my life for”!  Our friends are back on the other side of the pond now, having survived Scotland … and the scones.

Evening view of the Wallace Monument, Stirling
The Wallace Monument stands on the Abbey Craig in the evening light.

FK9 5LF    tel: 01786 472140     Legends

BREAKING NEWS. Our Middle East correspondent has just filed a report on a post box he came across in Jaffa, Tel Aviv. Readers may know Jaffa from the biblical stories about Jonah, Solomon and St Peter but more probably through cakes. The post box in question was manufactured by McDowall Steven & Co who, in 1912 took over the Laurieston Ironworks in Falkirk and made post boxes until 1958 when it closed. Jaffa was occupied in 1947 so presumably these post boxes date from then. There’s nothing quite like scones to broaden the mind.Letter box in Jaffa, made in Falkirk