We last visited Balbirnie House back in January when Rishi Sunak was visiting Scotland as Prime Minister for the first time. He was to be Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister, such was the turnover in Tory PM’s. Now she has gone as well but having just passed her driving test at the ripe old age of 53 she seems to be thoroughly enjoying having time to herself again. With an upcoming election Rishi might soon be able to do the same.
He keeps telling us that Britain is leading the world in just about everything. Problem is that, according to a recent report, we are also leading in terms of destitution with 3.8 million people now defined in that way. “Destitution” differs from “poverty” in that it means that people suffering from destitution can no longer afford the basics required to live. Of the 3.8 million, 1 million are children. Normally, destitution results in homelessness. With most of the government consisting of multi-millionaires they won’t have the slightest notion about destitution so they’ll probably just ignore it and hope it goes away.
We offer this bleak assessment of the state of the UK as a backdrop to us wittering on about the joys of lemon curd combined with lemon flavoured scones in a large luxurious country house. We know!
You might wonder why we are back here so soon, after all it’s only been a matter of months. It’s only a short drive from home but the main reason, of course, is that we enjoyed our previous visit and wanted to do again – simple! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they give you a cream tea when you arrive.
Locked in?
Balbirnie was built in 1815. With beautiful grounds, a golf course and 31 bedrooms, all with beds the size of Texas, it’s particularly popular for weddings. It even has its own “padlock fence” where couples can return and attach their own padlock. A bit weird but we think we understand?
If you are all loved up you might use this, obviously Cameron and Catriona were!
Lemons were also grown in orangeries and when our scones arrived they turned out to be lemon scones accompanied with lemon curd and clotted cream. A heady combination which we had never tried before. Pat wasn’t too sure so they supplied her with a little dish of raspberry jam as an alternative. We seldom if ever attach the word ‘tangy’ to a scone tasting but these were delicious and ‘tangy’. There’s a first … and an easy topscone.
Senseless
As if the world doesn’t have enough senseless killing at the moment, there’s been yet another shooting in the US. This one was in Lewiston, Maine with at least eighteen people dead so far. The 565th mass shooting in the US this year. Republicans will doubtless trot out that tired and tattered line “guns don’t kill – people do”. Except, of course, people do find it much much more difficult to kill without guns! C’mon Republicans you can do better than this?
It’s that time of year again! Although we have reviewed Klondyke Garden Centre several times before, it has changed so much that we feel another review is justified. We’re not apologising … Boris doesn’t have to apologise for anything so why should we?
Choice
It’s our annual compost fix we’re after. If we don’t get it the rest of the year will definitely not go as well as it would have done otherwise. We try to restrict it to once a year … we’re not addicts … it’s for the garden. Actually, it’s for our rhubarb which we are in the process of transplanting from the garden into large pots. Reminds me of one of my dad’s favourite stories about a man passing a mental hospital pushing a barrowload of manure. An inmate pokes his head through the railings and asks him what he is going to do with it. “I’m going to put it on my rhubarb” he replied. “Oh” the inmate said “You should come in here we get custard on ours“. Okay, okay! It remains to be seen how well our rhubarb will do in pots … it’s a high risk strategy!
Anyway, over the past year or so, much work has been done at this garden centre. The car park is now vast and the centre itself is much bigger than it used to be. As well as a huge area dedicated to plants there are gift shops, clothes shops, a shoe shop and even a car wash. All this choice can be kind of bewildering and choosing compost is no exception … ericatious, John Innes, Miracle Gro, peat free, big bag, wee bag … argh!
Just part one section of the restaurant/cafe area
Technology
Unsurprisingly perhaps, it wasn’t long before the lure of the cafe became overpowering. Crikey, it’s. gone huge as well. In our previous review we tried to use their new fandangled phone ‘Order & Pay’ system. It seemed to work but after waiting for twenty minutes for our order to appear we realised something had gone wrong. When we asked a member of staff she just said “no problem, I can take your order” … argh! This time we ordered at the self service counter but they still seem to be using the same phone system at the tables. It must work sometimes so might try it again next time.
The scones were quite big so we decided to share. Expectations were not exactly high but we were pleasantly surprised. It tasted remarkably fresh and came complete with some English jam and Danish butter. The cream was whipped and nicely presented in a little glass jar. We actually swithered momentarily about a topscone but decided that the complete package just wasn’t quite right. But a bIg improvement on previous visits. Keep up the good work Klondyke Garden Centre … it’s all very impressive.
Wallpaper in the cafe area
Also impressive is the new Falkirk Distillery which is right next door to the garden centre. It’s due to open its doors for the first time later in the year and who knows it may even serve scones in its restaurant. Exciting or what?
Trumpian?
Last time we were here in 2020 Boris Johnson was visiting Scotland. He reminded us how grateful we should be for the block grant … a gift from England!? He also said he had an “oven ready deal” for Brexit and Gove was proclaiming Brexit as the “easiest deal in history”. We all know that now, as we did then, they needn’t have bothered wasting their breath. With his administration still deep in the proverbial doodoo his latest imbecilic utterances about Keir Starmer and Jimmy Savile do not bode well for how any upcoming elections will be conducted. Looks very Trumpian to us!
All is not lost though, just as we were all about to lose faith in government of any kind, up pops ex PM and arch Tory, Sir John Major, to tell it like it is … or rather, how it should be! A Tory with a brain and a heart … whatever next?
And just when you thought the world could not get any crazier, we came across this car with a banana stuck up its exhaust. What’s that all about?
Later still, I watched as a flock of siskins fought and squabbled over a load of sunflower hearts. Totally illogical because there was more than enough for them all. Unfortunately though, when it comes to our planet’s resources, we are all just siskins. That should have been a Tweet really?
Even though. we haven’t been able to travel much over the past year, it’s been eighteen months since we were last here at Klondyke Garden Centre … and it’s only five minutes away? A lot has happened in that time. Back then we were on a mission and the mission was … compost and lots of it! For reasons we can’t quite remember we likened the garden centre to a drug dealer dealing in compost … we must have been high on the stuff? This time we were also on a mission but now it was pot … a big black one to be precise! Back then the café was called the Topiary Coffee Shop but now it appeared to have changed its name to the Polmont Restaurant. We wondered if anything else had changed. Well, quite a lot actually. For a start, because of COVID regulations, the layout had been adapted with greater spacing and large perspex screens between the tables. What else?
Wonders
Like everyone these days we are well used to scanning QR codes to give our contact details and get access to the menu. For us, however, this one was a bit different. Once you had done all that and got the menu up on screen you had to actually place your order and pay as well. Okey dokey! You’ve heard of the paperless office, well this was the waitressless café. Lunch and then a scone to share was what we wanted and, once we got the hang of it, the process was quite easy. We went through the menu and placed everything we wanted into our virtual basket, then we paid at the virtual checkout all rather familiar really. The wonders of QR (quick response) technology! And then we waited .. and waited … and waited.
No worries!
Twenty minutes later we realised other folks, who had come in after us, were getting food. Just then a lady appeared and asked if we had ordered. We said “yes” to which she asked “did you pay?” “Yes” to which she asked “did you use ApplePay?” “Yes” to which she replied “it didn’t work, can you check your bank account?” We did and there was no sign of the transaction. She then said “No worries, I can take your order, what did you want?” Argh! Having spent what seemed like half the day in the place we were no further forward. The wonders of QR technology!
Ordinary?
Never mind, everything would be fine when our food arrived and after a few more minutes it did. It was dumped on a table quite close to us in what was termed a “food drop zone”. Thankyou coronavirus, you have much to answer for. Lunch was mediocre at best and our scone came without the sharing plate we had asked for but by this time we were losing the will to live.
The scone had been hot when it reached the food drop zone but by the time we got to it, warmth was but a distant memory. Accompanied by the ubiquitous Tiptree jam (£0.50). Irish butter (£0.20) and a ‘healthy’ bowl of cream (£0.60), it wasn’t actually too bad in itself but probably more expensive than a Claridge’s scone. The overall experience had us scratching our heads trying to think of a categorisation below ‘ordinary’ but we gave up. We did get our big black pot though.
Deal or no deal
A big black hole might adequately describe the UK’s imminent departure from the EU. It was perfectly summed up the other day by a picture of Boris standing next to Ursula von der Leyen during BRexit talks. A bumbling shambolic mess standing next to a perfectly presented symbol of unity. We’ll leave you to work out which was which! Whatever happened to the “oven ready deal” Boris promised months ago or the “easiest deal in history” promised by Gove. Could it be that they are just pathological liars … perish the thought?
PS: Many thanks to our Middle East correspondent for sending us this link to the Irish Times about dialects in Eire. It uses the word ‘scone’ as an example. “Picture a line across Ireland from Sligo through Leitrim and Cavan over to Louth. Below it, for most people, scone rhymes with ‘phone’; above it, with ‘gone’. Near the line, usage is more mixed. The line is an isogloss, like a weather-map isobar but showing where a linguistic feature stops or changes”. You see, sconology is not just about scones … now you’ve learned what an isogloss is. If you didn’t already know that is!
Our correspondent was mystified that his Granny always insisted on pronouncing her scones to rhyme with gone in spite of her being located in Dublin, well below that isogloss line. Heyho, well done Granny for impecable pronouncation! He also refers to her scones as “little miracles“, well done again Granny!
The Artisan Café lies halfway between Crianlarich and Tyndrum in what used to be the Old Church. It could easily be described as being in the middle of nowhere and as a consequence, you could easily think that nothing much has ever happened here. However, you would be wrong!
The glen is Strathfillan, so-called because Fillan brought Christianity to the area in the 8th century from Iona. He had come from Ireland and had run a monastery in Fife before retiring to this area.
Dunking mad folk?
Apparently he was quite a guy. His left arm glowed which meant that he could write scriptures in the dark. He’s also the patron saint of the mentally ill. Such people would be dipped in St Fillan’s Pool in the Fillan river just behind the church and left tied up naked overnight. A cure had been achieved if the bonds were loosened by the morning. If not the process was repeated. He also persuaded the wolf that killed his ox to pull his plough instead of the ox. Where is St Fillan now, in our time of need? He would have made short work of a puny virus. And no, even after a prolonged period of self-isolation, we are not here to be dunked and tied up naked. Just a scone. We are not here at all, of course, all this was before the lockdown.
Having said that we could also be here to pan for gold. Considering the stock market has gone through the floor and the price of gold has rocketed, that’s not such a daft idea. The nearby Cononish gold mine is Scotland’s only commercial gold mine. In 1306, Robert the Bruce was given sanctuary here after he had murdered his rival for the crown, John Comyn, in a Dumfries church . He was tracked down, however, and had to flee when encountering vastly superior forces at nearby Dalrigh, the King’s Field. So, over time, quite a lot has happened in this tranquil little Highland glen but the most recent development has been this Artisan Café. It first opened about two years ago.
A view showing the original church organ to the right
Fresh food
The interior is as you would expect of a disused church. Lofty ceilings and plenty of space. There could easily be a mezzanine floor if they ever wanted to expand. It’s called the Artisan Café because it has lots of craft type things for sale, mostly by local artists. There’s stuff all over the place which tends to give it a slightly cluttered appearance. We were given a warm welcome though and shown to a seat beside the log burning stove. Everything is freshly made here on the premises so we were looking forward to sampling some of the food.
Pat’s carrot and coriander soup with cheese scone and my fruit scone
Pat opted for ‘soup and a scone’ which turned out to be absolutely delicious. I had decided on caulifower and brocolli soup with a sandwich followed by a fruit scone and coffee. It was also delicious. We have to hand it to folks who start up a business like this in these remote parts. Their business will have been closed for several weeks now because of the coronavirus which must be heartbreaking. They got a topscone though so hopefully we will be able to look in again at some future date and get another one.
Confidence in government?
As the date for the return to normality recedes ever further into the distance we have little choice but to knuckle down and get on with it. It doesn’t help though when this lamentable government resorts to outright misinformation. Yesterday, the even more lamentable Michael Gove tried to blame the lack of COVID-19 testing on a shortage of the necessary reagents. Something which the industry point bland denies. No shortage Michael, just a government asleep on the job.
Habit
Talking of sleep, strange things happen when you are in lockdown. Every night before bed I take the change from my pocket and place it on the bedside table. Every morning I lift it and put it back in my pocket. It’s a habit! I just noticed, however, that the total amount is £10.36 … two £5 notes, one 20p, one 10p, one 5p and one 1p. It’s been that for almost three weeks. Self-isolation is cheap if nothing else! So why do I still do it? Answers on a postcard.
ps: We are indebted to some of our Aussie correspondents (these ones are from Perth) who have sent this movie of a live scone review caught on camera. This is footage which we think David Attenborough would be proud of. Filmed by the intrepid Mairi in the Café Red at Ricardoes tomato & strawberry farm near Port Macquarie in New South Wales. Strange in that we were, very recently, at Lachlan Macquarie’s grave on the Isle of Mull.
Perth scone review
Elaine’s date and ginger scone definitely got the thumbs up. However, although an acknowledged expert on lamb chops and banana splits, John’s lack of experience with scones showed when his initially 10 out of 10 rating for his pumpkin scone was later downgraded to ‘rubbish’. Let that be a lesson. You can’t rush a scone tasting!
Remember our Trossachs correspondents? We haven’t heard from them in a while but that does not mean a lack of discipline on their part. They have been diligent in their scone searches, however, a recent visit to Sri Lanka simply did not yield any finds. In order to understand the mess the world is in you have to realise that many countries do not benefit from the civilising effect of scones. They are scone deserts! Okay, okay, what about the the UK, we hear you cry? We know … it’s simply inexplicable that a scone rich country like the UK should find itself in such a perilous state. Perhaps it should be compulsory for all politicians to have afternoon tea every day?
Snorters
Anyway our correspondents are on their travels yet again and have sent a comprehensive report which neatly fits into our recent run of nautical scones, albeit these ones are more ‘aeronautical’. It also provides a welcome distraction from Michael Gove’s confession to being a bit of a coke snorter. Is he trying to appear normal in some way? Although he says he finished with Class A drugs more than twenty years ago it looks, to us, as if they are still having a profound effect today.
In our correspondents own words
Greetings from Mijas (pronounced Meehas) in sunny Spain, a long time favourite of ours. We love its narrow lanes, stunning flora, evening tranquillity and unspoilt ethnic nature and views over the Med. The licensed taxis are even donkeys. No skyscaper apartment blocks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger Houses or English Breakfasts here . So we thought!
On previous visits to the Costa del Sol we have avoided the beach culture of the large resorts which has extremely limited our search for scones. Our only previous success when we visitedGibraltarand sampled scones of an inferior nature. Mijas has now presented us with a cultural dilemma. On our first evening we noticed The Lemon Tree – a new café type restaurant tucked into a corner of the Plaza de la Constitution and horror of all horrors it proudly advertised Full English Breakfast. However, we were partly consoled that they also offered cream tea for two at a very reasonable 6.95 Euros. Should we, shouldn’t we? This morning we yielded and after a brisk walk around the village and its old walls we headed towards the Lemon Tree to sample our first scones in Spain.
The place was mobbed but we managed to get the last outside seat and placed our order. In the parlance of AllAboutTheScones, the scones were well presented with an accompanying pot of tea, strawberry jam and a tub of Rodda’s Cornish Cream. They were nice and warm, crisp on the outside, fluffy in the centre and surprisingly delicious – real candidates for Paterson Top Scone if the cream had been fresh. To be fair butter was an option. We’ll be back, but may sacrifice the scones for the Lemon drizzle cake with Ice cream!
NB we give Rodda’s Cornish Cream a hard time but only when it is served in Scotland. Scotland has plenty of its own cream. However, a Cornish Cream tea in southern Spain is obviously genuine so the use of Rodda’s is perfectly acceptable.
Can Mijas be the scone capital of Spain? Fresh from the pleasures of the Lemon Tree we have found another gem, The Mango Café. It is hidden away in the corner of a courtyard. We enjoyed a cream tea which will sound familiar to you two Top Sconers. Not too big, warm, crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy in the centre and served with real cream and home made strawberry jam. Absolutely delicious!!!
Sincere thanks to our corespondents. Their admirable dedication and excellent reports have brought a ray of sunshine to the blog.
Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander.
In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.
Misdemeanours
Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. Since they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note! It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!
Too and fro
In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest. Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.
Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. A few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.
Criticising the government
Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.
Foundations
Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.
a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers
However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.
ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.and some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all
Visiting an artist friend is interesting. Not only for the range of beautiful pottery and calligraphy items she produces and sells at home and online, but for the fact that her house is on the site of the Battle of Drumclog. “The battle of what” we hear you say! This battle, on June 1st 1679, is one of the few victories the Covenanters were to have over the government forces of Charles I. Like almost every battle since the beginning of time it was fought between two forces. Both of which had God on their side. And it was fought on a Sunday for goodness sake!!
Saving skin
During this contratemps, the government commander, John Graham of Claverhouse‘s horse was killed and he fled the field on foot. Eventually, however, he took his trumpeter’s horse to make good his escape. The now defenceless trumpeter, a fourteen year old boy, was caught by the Covenanters, killed, and his body thrown down a well which is still known as Trumpeters Well. We tell you all of this simply to illustrate a point. The behaviour of our ruling classes has not changed very much in the intervening centuries. The Mays , Goves, Johnstons and Trumps of this world would not think twice about dislodging a young lad from his mount if it meant saving their own skins. Or are we being unfair?
When we left Drumclog we decided to stop off at the Garrion Bridges Garden & Antique Centre in the Clyde valley. It used to be good for antiques. We found, however, that a recent revamp of its facilities has not done it any favours. Now, it is much more into gardens and gaudy knickknacks. Café du Jardin however is tucked away in a corner and specialises almost exclusively in afternoon teas. An oasis of calm. There is another much bigger café which caters to ordinary people.
More is more
Not being particularly hungry we asked if they could just do a couple of scones … no problem! When they arrived, however, they obviously could not break the afternoon tea habit because “just a scone” turned out to be more akin to a mini afternoon tea. And all for the price of a couple of scones! The problem with this sort of thing is, of course, when people as weak willed as ourselves are presented with all these extras, whatever self discipline we might have had goes completely out the window. There was a plain and a fruit scone each, plus meringues, muffins, eclairs and macaroons … aaarggghh!
One of the noticeable things about this place is a wall which acted like an interference pattern. It played havoc with your eyes and inducing a state of confusion which meant we ended up eating almost everything. That’s our excuse and we are sticking to it! The tearoom is decorated to a high standard. However,in our opinion, it would be much nicer with more subtle lighting. It would relieve the ‘fluorescent’ effect that is never particularly appealing. Besides all that, this was a nice quiet place with very attentive staff that provided welcome respite from the shopping frenzy going on just outside the door … topscone!
The breath of their nostrils
The Covenanters were dedicated to preserving God’s rights on earth and were described at the time thus. “They were terribly in earnest.The passion that was in them , like all great passions, refused to be divided. Their idea possessed them with a force and a fulness to which we find few parallels in history. It haunted their sleep , it awoke with them in the morning – it walked , like their shadow, with them to business or to pleasure – it became the breath of their nostrils and the soul of their soul.” Today, when you read of a terrorist plot foiled in Australia it is perhaps worth remembering that religious extremism is far from a new phenomenon. Just ask any young trumpeter.
Having already reported on scones in Harvey Nichols and the Dome you might think we would be running short of alternatives on George Street In Edinburgh? Not a bit of it, there are plenty more! Browns of Edinburgh is just another one on the city’s principle shopping thoroughfare. We had actually been invited to an evening event nearby. With a couple of hours to spare, however, what else would you do but head for afternoon tea?
Browns of Edinburgh has some history for us. As a young couple with no money and no experience of posh restaurants this was our first foray into what is oft referred to as “fine dining”. If memory serves us correctly we were all dressed up to the nines and slightly nervous about being in such auspicious surroundings. That was many years ago and this is our first return visit. It doesn’t look nearly as intimidating as it did then! Has it changed, or have we changed? Probably both? Today, it does not look like the small intimate restaurant of memory. Rather its, almost cavernous interior and perhaps slightly impersonal atmosphere are more in keeping with a mid-range establishment.
Culinary highlights
Nowadays, we don’t think that even they would class themselves as ‘fine dining’. Whatever, what about our afternoon tea? Champagne in the afternoon always seems a little bit naughty. This was very nice champagne, however, and an excellent start to proceedings. See, it’s us that’s changed, we probably had pints on our first visit. We wouldn’t have know what else to ask for! Presented on a sort of chrome wheel contraption there was a fair assortment of cakes and sandwiches with two small scones each. Call us old fusspots if you like but we prefer to have bread sandwiches with the crusts cut off rather than the little mini rolls used here. Arrgghh, we have changed. A slice of square sausage with tomato sauce between two slices of plain bread used to be the highlight of our culinary lives.
K2 or K6?
The scones were nice. When they first arrived we felt them and they were nice and warm but, by the time we got round to eating them, that was but a memory. All in all, this was very relaxing and enjoyable and a great way to kill some time but the scones, although good, did not quite make the grade and everything else, excepting the champagne, was just a little bit flat. The service, for example, was okay, but like a lot of places that automatically add a service charge to your bill, they did not have to try too hard. One of the nice things about Browns is that they have lots of interesting photographs hanging on the walls. We thought this one would enable us to test your knowledge of red telephone boxes. Remember we supplied a handy indentification guide in an earlier post at the Butterchurn. Obviously it is not a K4 but could it be a K2 or a K6? Answers on a postcard.
Scones as a measurement of time
Continuing with the quiz theme we thought it might be interesting to measure, in scones, how much time Theresa May has left as Prime Minister. You probably think we are not taking politics seriously. However, with Michael Gove, the only man who can instantly poison any environment he walks into, being appointed Environment Secretary. And the odious DUP in coalition talks with the government. Oh, and the Queen’s Speech being delayed because of the need to write it all down on goatskin paper. What is there to take seriously? This is the second post since the general election result became known and Theresa decided to carry on as if nothing had happened. How many more scones can we post before she is deposed? Answers on the same postcard as the telephone box.
Edinburgh looking dramatic in the evening sunshine
What are our Trossachs correspondents like?? A couple of weeks ago it was Gibraltar, then Stronachlachar and now, Vilnius, (we are prepared to bet that that is the first time these three places have ever been mentioned in a single sentence). We thought our own scone efforts were pretty good but this is definitely above and beyond. It all depends on the scones of course.
Searching for scones
Well, .. in spite of their best endeavours, scouring Vilnius from top to bottom, not a single scone was found … zilch. At one point they excitedly crossed the street because they had seen these in a café window. They turned out to be some sort of crème brûlée thingys. Easy mistake to make. They did however come across signs of support for our own Nicola Sturgeon.
Did they give up? Not a bit of it. Undaunted, and taking inspiration from our Aussie correspondents who recently reported from Eilean Donan Castle, they elected to try and find an equivalent. And they did, about 20km west of Vilnius. Trakai Island Castle on Lake Galvė, like Eilean Donan, is situated on an island and joined to the mainland by a bridge. It dates from the 14th century. After falling into serious disrepair it underwent a major reconstruction program which was only completed in the 1960s. Unfortunately, yet again there were no scones. There were, however, reminders of home. The Lithuanians have a haggis equivalent, vedarai, and seem happy to compare it to the genuine article.
Incomprehension
What of Lithuania itself and its people? We can do no better than quote directly from our correspondents report: “the very clear message here (Lithuania) is that all generations cannot understand how or why the UK voted for Brexit. They also know quite clearly that Scotland voted to Remain. This is a small country of just under 3 million, reveling in it’s independence and EU membership. Is everything perfect.? No, many of their young people are working in Scotland and sending money home.
However, they are confident about their future, have an education system where children are educated in Lithuanian and English and are generally very positive about being members of the enlarged European family. We have experienced none of the xenophobic rhetoric of Farage, Gove and Co. We note that Gove has got his just deserts and that the UK will now have a woman as Prime Minister. Lithuania already has one and of course we have Nicola. Let’s hope that the UK does not repeat the last occasion we had a female Prime Minister. A model of whom we saw in a street market in Trakai today”.
Scotland and Lithuania
Once again we are indebted to our Trossachs correspondents in spite of the dearth of scones. It seems that Lithuania has much in common with Scotland. A high degree of national pride and a philosophy that foreigners are welcome and considered an asset. Of course Scotland has a vast array of riches compared with Lithuania, not just scones! Unbelievably though, Scotland, still has all it’s major decisions made by another country with very different interests? You can almost see the open-mouthed incredulous look on Lithuanian faces. They must think we are mad … or stupid, or both!
BREAKING NEWS: Our correspondents, still in Lithuania, have decided that they are not going to find any Lithuanian scones comparable to our own. However, they have managed to find a sort of scone equivalent in a café called Kmyninė just east of Vilnius city centre. They were served by a lovely man and woman who have had the café for just over a year and made them feel very welcome.
Lithuanian scones
Once again quoting directly. “It is one of many great initiatives, we have experienced, where hard working young people are making a real fist of it in challenging circumstances. It is hard for us to comprehend how the poisonous narrative of the Brexit campaign managed to persuade the UK electorate that these fine young Europeans are a threat to our society and values. At least they know that they are welcome in Scotland”. But what about the Lithuanian scones? “There was no jam,cream or butter but these offerings were delicious. crisp on the outside, soft and tasty inside with a lovely nutty flavour. A bit like Ma Broon’s rock cakes”. So there you have it, another first for allaboutthescones.com. If in Vilnius and crave a scone, your best bet is to head to Kmyninė.
You might wonder why we are back here so soon, after all it’s only been a matter of months. It’s only a short drive from home but the main reason, of course, is that we enjoyed our previous visit and wanted to do again – simple! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they give you a cream tea when you arrive.
Lemons were also grown in orangeries and when our scones arrived they turned out to be lemon scones accompanied with lemon curd and clotted cream. A heady combination which we had never tried before. Pat wasn’t too sure so they supplied her with a little dish of raspberry jam as an alternative. We seldom if ever attach the word ‘tangy’ to a scone tasting but these were delicious and ‘tangy’. There’s a first … and an easy topscone.
