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Ordinary, Scones, weird

Not the Smiddy

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Okay, this is a weird one in several ways – weird scone,  weird  circumstance  …  just weird! The other day we were visiting Doune and on the way we popped into the Smiddy to get some stuff in the farm shop. Short on time, we didn’t bother with the café and anyway we had reviewed their scones previously. When I asked Pat when she thought that was she thought that it must have been last year sometime.

External view of the Smiddy
The Smiddy

No, it was 2016 when we last reviewed a scone at the Smiddy …  unbelievable how time passes when you are enjoying yourself! Anyway, as we approached the checkout we spotted this packet (title picture) of banana and chocolate scones. What? As ever, of course, we are willing to risk life and limb in order to further our reader’s sconological knowledge, so into the basket they went.

Pre packed

Scones in packets are usually to be avoided. We don’t think of ourselves as scone snobs but, having said that, there are limits. However, we hadn’t ever come across this particular combination of ingredients before so obviously, they could not be allowed to escape our customary rigorous testing.  It would have to be done at home, however, hence the “Not the Smiddy”  title. 

A chocolate and banana scone for the SmiddyThe big test took place the following day while watching the tragic events unfold in Ukraine. Pat whipped up some cream and served them with some of her own plum jam. Dilemma, what do you serve with chocolate and banana scones? They looked deceptively like fruit scones but what appeared to be fruit was in fact chocolate chips. We like a bit of crunch to our scones but these ones were very soft all over but not unpleasant. We won’t be rushing back to buy more but overall they were surprisingly nice. All we can suggest is that, if you ever come across chocolate and banana scones yourselves, don’t be frightened! And the plum jam went fine!

The government

Today the government announced a new approach to the UK’s energy problems. North Sea oil is going to be fully developed to alleviate the  economic crisis. Could this be the same North Sea oil that, according to the same government in the 2014 Scottish Independence Referendum was at an end, only a dribble left? They’ve also hiked up National Insurance contributions for all employers and employees to help pay for the NHS. Could this be the same NHS that was supposed to benefit to the tune of £350 million per week as a result of Brexit? At the same time Rishi Sunak’s wife has registered for non-dom status to escape taxes.

The plight of the people in Ukraine is heart rending. We’ve volunteered to take refugees but due to the government’s opaque immigration system our chances of getting any are slim to say the least. Could it be that our UK government is devious, dishonest, sleazy, self-serving and incompetent? Perish the thought! Remember, these days everything is Putin’s fault! However, he’ll be relieved to hear that we’re not blaming him for banana and chocolate scones.

Scones, Top

Forest Hills Hotel

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Dead end scones

This is a real dead-end kind of place. But only because it is at the end of a dead-end road! To be precise it is not quite at the end of the road because you can go on a few miles to Stronachlachar and Inversnaid but you have no choice but to come back the same way. Having said that, Rob Roy, whose country this is, probably had a hundred ways in and out of Kinlochard. He wasn’t driving a car though. Staying in the village for a few days, courtesy of our intrepid and generous Trossachs correspondents, afforded us a chance to explore the local scone scene. Previously we have reported on one of our favourite places, the Wee Blether in the centre of the village. But there are scones everywhere in the Trossachs. Forest Hills 05

Forest Hills Hotel

The Forest Hills Hotel was just along the road and seemed like a good place to start. It holds a particularly fond memory for me from almost forty years ago. I was the official photographer at a family wedding. At one point I remember assembling the bride and groom and both sets of parents in front of a fireplace for a group shot. Forest Hills 01The hotel has undergone massive changes since then and I wondered if the fireplace had survived almost four decades of modernisation and change. It had, and still stands proud, pretty much as I remembered it. In fact the main part of the hotel was remarkably unchanged.

How many scones do you need?

Forty years ago we were sipping champagne which had been transported in suitcases all the way from France, but this time, of course, we were on scone safari. Pat just wanted a cup of tea so it was up to me to order a scone for myself. Turned out they came in twos (one plain, one fruit) but something was obviously lost in translation because when they arrived there was two for Pat as well! Heyho, she scoffed them anyway, no problem! Forest Hills 08Three different jams as well as a generous bowl of cream and the scones themselves were just the way we like them … warm, not too big, slightly crunchy on the outside and beautifully soft and light inside… mmmmm, topscone!

Nowadays the hotel has all the necessary accoutrements to make it into a ‘spa’ resort. It is slightly ironic, however, to see lots of people pounding treadmills in a hot sweaty gym when they are surrounded by beautiful countryside and hills where they could be getting much better exercise whilst breathing pure clear Trossachs air. What is that all about?

View from the hotel towards Loch Ard with endless exercise opportunities
View from the hotel towards Loch Ard with endless exercise opportunities

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Is the UK a sporting powerhouse

Perhaps, more to the point at this particular time, what are the Olympics all about? Once a noble amateur sporting spectacle, in recent years it has succumbed to the powers of capitalism. Its lost it’s moral compass. Too much flag waving by multi-millionaires and pontificating by knights of the realm! The world would be a much better place if there was no professionalism in sport. Can’t think of a single good thing to come from it. If Team GB does well there will be calls for vast amounts of money to be invested to maintain our place in the world as a great sporting powerhouse. If it does badly there will be calls for vast amounts of money to be invested to transform us into a great sporting powerhouse. As if it matters? Never mind Russia’s drug taking, financial and medical advantages over others are just another form of cheating!

The fact that we might beat Team Vanuatu in the hop, skip and jump is supremely irrelevant to almost everything that really matters. It’s all a grotesque nonsense and a waste of money.

not a cossetted Olympic event ... a proper swimming event at the loch
not a cossetted Olympic event … a proper swimming event at the loch

On top of all that we are expected to listen to endless banal drivel from multi-millionaire commentators and pundits. Olympic tennis turns out to be a rerun of Wimbledon? Olympic golf … we despair! The sooner they have ordinary dads building an IKEA Billy bookcase as an Olympic event the better. Rant over, must get back to the scones, they’re very good … gold medal even.

FK8 3TL         tel: 0344 879 9057          Forest Hills Hotel