Tag Archives: poem

Bob & Berts revisited

17th August 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Still carless so we remain pretty much tethered to home. Our car is currently on Harris in the Outer Hebrides where the previous post hailed from. We are being inundated with photos of our granddaughters enjoying fabulous weather and swimming on Hebridean beaches.

Luskentyre beach on Harris — our granddaughter Lola running on one of the many overcrowded beaches in the Outer Hebrides

Meanwhile, back in Falkirk, with no particular desire to use public transport just yet, we were not feeling the same degree of joyous unfettered freedom. But sensing a bit of a scone urge, we quietly made our way to our own local High Street. And when we got there Bob & Berts was the only cafe with any available outside seating. So it was to be “Bob & Berts revisited”. Last time we reviewed this place it was our very first scone of 2019.

Car doors

Back then we appraised our 2018 year of sconing. The big political news of the year had been a member of the Royal family closing her own car door. The media was full of it. Some congratulatory but others full of righteous indignation at the sheer unabashed brashness of it all. Since then, of course, the responsible person has been banished from whence she came and since then all Royal car doors have remained free of scandal. Phew!

Snagging lists

Momentarily, we also turned to religion. God, we reckoned, must have looked with dismay at the mess He had made of His snagging list over two millennia. We felt, however, that He would have taken a crumb of comfort from a whole bunch of countries banding together in a spirit of cooperation to form the EU. He would have been proud! Oh dear, what will He be thinking now?

Last time, we gave Bob and Berts a bit of a hard time for not selling us a raspberry ripple scone and importing their jam from Oregon. That’s a massive carbon footprint for a wee pot of jam. Well, this time they only had cherry scones but the jam was still the same. We have to conclude that they are either impervious to justifiable criticism or they don’t read allaboutthescones.com. Incredibly we suspect it’s the latter. Heyho, we wouldn’t really want anyone serving American jam in Scotland to be reading our blog anyway!

We wish our “Bob & Berts revisited” experience had been an improvement on the first visit but it wasn’t. Our shared cherry scone was almost inedible. It may have been fresh on a certain day last week but it certainly wasn’t now. We left half of it. Stale scones, scooshie cream and American jam … what’s to like? Well, the coffee was actually quite good and the place itself has a nice hipsterish vibe. Not enough to make us rush back though.

Poetic scones

We are spoiled when it comes to refreshments because our coffee correspondent keeps us supplied with delicious Cat’s Pyjamas coffee from Henry’s Coffee Company. Sometimes we even find the odd anonymous package of trout on our doorstep and suspect it might be the very same correspondent. Among his many talents, he is renowned for his recitals of the poems of Robert Burns. He couldn’t bear for our antipodean corespondents to be the only ones waxing lyrically about scones so he’s penned a response. As expected, his ditty has an appropriate Scottish flavour.

Great tastin scone yir so elusive.
Tae find yir likes, one hikes ower Scotland’s hills and glens and islands.
Thru toons and villages, some wi’ sheds, some wi’ telephone boxes.
Some oft visited by wee ‘Willy Winkie’ and Pat and Billy.
Yir crumblin crumbs and so soft centre cause chaos on my taste buds.
Yi’ll taste much better when Scotland’s independent.

Normality?

Don’t know if this can be taken as a sign of things returning to normal after COVID? Remember the £5.36 I had in my pocket since March. Remember it mysteriously went up to £6.36. Well, now it’s gone. It’s now just 56p. No idea what’s happened but it’s definitely suffered a severe shock. It’s certainly not due to me being unduly profligate but I’ve obviously had to stick my hand in my pocket for some reason. I would, however, caution the world against taking this as conclusive proof a resumption of normality.

island, Ordinary, Scones

Isle of Harris Distillery – Again

9th August 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

We know, we know, we should be out looking for new scones now that coronavirus restrictions have been relaxed. We should be endeavouring to broaden your sconological knowledge. That’s as may be, however, we don’t feel particularly adventurous just yet. There’s still a lot of COVID uncertainty. And in addition, our daughter came up from London on the train with her family then stole our car. In fact, our car may well be parked outside the Isle of Harris Distillery as we speak. We, on the other hand, are quite definitely parked in Falkirk. In other words, our scone adventuring is somewhat curtailed for the next couple of weeks.

Morar beach 2020 — Our grandaughter yesterday on Morar beach on her way to the Isle of Harris

Although this was originally posted only last year when Theresa May was still striving to get her Brexit Bill through parliament, it seems like ancient history now. Nevertheless, these times that seemed particularly torrid at the time now seem of little consequence compared to what is happening this year. So let’s go back to when life was much simpler.

You all know by now that scones are our main objective where ever we go. However, sometimes it’s not as easy as you might imagine. Distractions abound e.g. sheds, eagles … distilleries! If we can’t find one to live in we feel somewhat obliged to visit them … it’s the decent thing to do. Maybe it’s just a Scottish thing, who knows? Anyway, this long-winded preamble is simply trying to let you know that we are in another distillery – the Isle of Harris Distillery. Like Raasay, this is another new kid on the block. It hasn’t actually produced any whisky yet but in the meantime, it’s producing lots of gin.

The old-established distilleries don’t bother with gin and probably look down their noses at those that do. However, for these new ones, cash flow is of paramount importance and ten years is a long time to wait for a return on your investment. Gin, on the other hand, you can make in a couple of days.

Sugar Kelp

Because of this, there are dedicated gin distilleries popping up all over Scotland … about 70 at the last count and they join 125 whisky distilleries. We also hadn’t realised until recently that the big well-known gins like Gordons, Hendricks and Tanquery are all produced in Scotland as well. That’s a lot of gin! They all claim to use their own unique blend of botanicals to flavour their products. On Harris, they use locally harvested sugar kelp … whatever? As long as they keep it well away from the whisky!

Mairi Mackenzie

Being only a few years old the distillery is very modern and has a large rather swanky visitor centre … and a café. We arrived back from our trip to the Butt of Lewis just as it was about to close. Enough time for a scone, however. Mairi Mackenzie does all their home-baking and it all looked delicious. As always a scone was what we had in our sights. It came accompanied with cream and jam. We have been desperate to find a topscone on this trip and so far it has eluded us. Unfortunately, Mairi’s scone didn’t change the situation. We thoroughly enjoyed it as we did everything about this place but it came up just short of the mark … pity.

They call the Isle of Harris Distillery the ‘social distillery’ because it aims to become the centre of the community. It certainly provides much-needed employment in this part of the world. Island economies are always fragile so anything that increases stability is always welcome. More power to their elbow! Their first whisky is to be called ‘Hearach’ which is what people from Harris are called in Gaelic … can’t wait!

Social places

Can’t wait for the fiasco masquerading as politics under the Westminster banner to sort itself out. Today, as Theresa May gives the Speaker a body swerve and tries for a third time to get her Brexit deal through the Commons, here, on the very edge of the EU, you feel pretty insulated from all that stuff. You feel, no matter what happens, the folks on these isolated islands where everyone knows everyone else will look after each other, come what may. It would be great if we could all have that sort of social community spirit. We are coming to the end of our time on Harris … sad!

HS3 3DJ tel: 01859 502212 Harris Distillery

Remember our Brisbane correspondent sent us a scone poem. Not to be outdone our Bathurst correspondent has responded with a work of his own.

“I enjoyed my Brisbane countryman’s poem in the last blog. I use the term “countryman” loosely though, because Australia is fast descending into a number of separate countries, courtesy of Covid-19….. But enough of that. I felt it incumbent upon me, however, to respond to your Brisbane correspondent’s contribution. I apologize in advance to Bill Wordsworth for pinching the structure of one of his better works.”

When it comes to poetic scones, these Aussies are certainly putting us Brits to shame. And yes, that’s a challenge!

Ordinary, Scones

Inversnaid Hotel

31st August 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

When Gerard Manley Hopkins, approached this hotel by boat in 1918 he was struck by the Arklet Falls on it’s right. He duly walked up the bank of the burn until he reached the high open ground and was so inspired he wrote a poem, imaginatively called ‘Inversnaid’. It’s a lovely poem, one of our favourites and the reason for our visit today. Retracing his steps, so to speak. The first verse starts at the waterfall as it drops into Loch Lomond then the following two verses illustrate the journey upwards to the high ground where he finishes with the fourth and wonderful final verse:

What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet.

He was a religious man and he is looking at a scene, as he sees it, created by God. It was the Duke of Montrose though that created Inversnaid in 1790 as a hunting lodge, and in September 1869, Queen Victoria, who had been staying at Invertrossachs Lodge on Loch Vennacher, arrived here by horse drawn coach from Stronachlachar for a trip around the loch on the Prince Consort steamship. Even today this is a fairly tricky road to negotiate by car so goodness knows what it was like back then? She was particularly taken with the northern part of the loch with its views to the west … and why wouldn’t she be impressed?

View from Inversnaid Hotel across Loch Lomand to Ben Ime — Ben Ime in the middle distance with Ben Vorlich and the Loch Sloy hydro scheme to the right

Tarbert to Inversnaid

Nowadays, as the Inversnaid Hotel, it is almost exclusively used by bus parties and walkers on the West Highland Way. As such it suffers in the same way as most hotels that specifically cater for this sort of custom. A bit soulless. Arriving, like Manley Hopkins by boat from Tarbert we were hoping to be inspired by scones as well as the scenery. No such luck! They didn’t look at all inspiring so we just shared one and our fears turned out to be totally justified. Edible, but only just. At least we were able to sit out on a beautiful day and admire the scenery.

Incidentally, the captain of our boat informed us about the pipes of the Loch Sloy Hydro Scheme. A major feature on the hill opposite. Nothing to do with Hydro. They are, in fact, part of a massive haggis factory buried deep in mountain. The means of delivery to the packing hall below at the lochside.

Scotland’s economy on its knees

We have no way of verifying this but it doesn’t seem any more far fetched than the recent GERS (Government Expenditure Review Scotland) figures. On the face of it, it is bad news. We spend much more than we bring in. You have to bear in mind that GERS was set up back in the day by Ian Lang specifically to counter nationalism so it is hardly likely to deliver good news. GERS does however benchmark against other countries of similar size and again we do rather badly by comparison. The trouble is that no one seems to ask how we got to this situation … under Westminster management? It’s all supposed to be Scotland’s fault and prove that we could never ever ever be a viable independent nation. These benchmark countries would give their eye teeth for Scotland’s assets:

Norway is far more reliant on oil than Scotland, but is doing ok thank you very much.
Denmark would love to have whisky generating £120 of exports every second.
Belgium would love to have the Edinburgh Fringe, adding £261m to its economy.
Ireland would love to have Scotland’s online gaming industry, grown over 600% and potentially worth more than oil ever was.
Sweden would love to match Scotland educationally. According to the Office of National Statistics the adult population of Scotland is the most educated in the whole of Europe.
Finland would love to have Scotland’s tidal and wave energy potential, 25% of the entire EU.

The Problem

So what’s the problem? Let’s guess! Could it be the way we are governed? Surely not! An independent Scotland would be sporting an embarrassingly large fiscal surplus. And now they want to drag us out of the EU? Yet still people cling to the illusion that we are “better together”. As someone as eloquent as Manley Hopkins would say …. aaarrgghhh!

FK8 3TU tel: 01877 386223 Inversnaid Hotel TA

Scones, history and a dollop of politics