Here we are in Edinburgh again and this time Pat is treating me to afternoon tea at Pâtissier Maxime … yeagh! In 1985 when Didier Meyer won “best Puff Pastry in France” it encouraged him to set up his first Pâtissier Maxime in Haguenau near Strasbourg. He probably never dreamed that one day there would be one here in the west end of the Scottish capital, but here it is! It specialises in macaroons, cakes, tarts and loads of other pastries but they also make their own ice cream and chocolate. Their window display is a glorious confection of colour and deliciousness.  The burning question, of course was “what do the French know about afternoon tea” … it’s such a British institution. This very French establishment might struggle to pass muster?

Raised pinkies

Once seated it all started in a terribly civilised way with a glass of prosecco but when we saw the afternoon tea arriving we knew it was going to be a little bit different … in presentation at least. Normally afternoon tea comes with a fine china cake stand and equally fine china tea cups in order to engender the refined atmosphere necessary for genteel conversation. Raised pinkies and all that!

Not in Pâtissier Maxime. Here it comes on a huge heavy multi-tiered wooden construction covered in fake grass. Tea comes in thick coffee cups … sacrebleu, mon dieu, help ma bob!! Three girls at the next table got an even bigger one that the waitress could barely carry. At least there was a nod to British sensitivity with the savoury stuff at the bottom and the sweet delicate cakes up at the top. Once we had recovered from the initial shock we noticed that, as well as the copious amounts of food, there were several ‘fun’ items like easter eggs, bunny rabbits … and a sheep?? The sandwiches and cakes were all absolutely delicious of course but the crème de la crème for us was always going to be the scone.

Désolé monsieur!

They were big … much bigger than they should be for an afternoon tea so we were a bit nervous about tackling them. In the end we decided to share one between the two of us. If we had eaten one each we would never have got anywhere near the goodies on the top tier. They turned out to be quite good, a tad on the dry side perhaps but just toooo big. Fine on their own perhaps but not as part of a very generous afternoon tea. No topscone for Didier … désolé monsieur!

Everything else was excellent and the service we received was wonderful. So did Patissier Maxime pass muster? Well, yes and no! The food definitely did but the presentation, flamboyant and  fun as it was, lacked that certain British reserve. But then they are all French in here, what did we expect? Scotland is not particularly noted for reserve, quite the opposite, but these days even Scottish reserve lies head and shoulders above the British variety.

Stiff upper lip

Can you imagine the furore if David Cameron had had to ask the EU for permission to hold a referendum on Brexit .. and then to be told “no, you can’t”! Nicola Sturgeon’s reserve is astounding in the face of the hypocrisy of Theresa May who, up until recently, was lecturing us on what a disaster Brexit would be for all nations of the UK. Margaret Thatcher, of all people, said “Scotland does not need a referendum on independence she just needs to send a majority of nationalist MPs to Westminster to have a mandate for independence”. She obviously never envisaged that happening, far less that 56 of the 59 Scottish MPs at Westminster would end up being nationalist. In these circumstances, Sturgeon’s patience, dignity and reserve could be used as a lesson to any self-respecting Englishman in stiffupperlipness.

Thanks Pat for treating me at Pâtissier Maxime. You know I’m worth it!

EH2 4PA     tel: 0131 225 6066      Pâtissier Maxime