Tag Archives: Robert Burns

Scones, Uncategorized

Major A A Gordon Gordon Society

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This post is a little bit different. It’s not so much about a scone but  a scone recipe.  The Major A A Gordon Society may sound like somewhere you might go for an upmarket afternoon tea but it’s not. Or if it was it would be in Antwerp and we are definitely not there. Let us explain!

Major Gordon in 1901Obviously attentive readers will remember mention of the Major A A Gordon Society in the Wee Timorous Beastie post back in June. Initially the Society got in touch because they had read one of our posts from 2015 about the Scotch Tea House in Nice on the Côte d’Azure. They wanted to know if it was the same “Scottish Teahouse” Major Gordon had visited back in 1939. So far we have been unable to provide a definitive answer but are pretty sure that it is.

So in a way, our’s and Major Gordon’ s paths have crossed.  When we were there the tearoom looked very Victorian and we speculated that it was there because Queen Victoria spent a few months every year in Nice and loved everything “Scottish’`. And it looked as if it had not changed in the last one hundred years. Who knows, we may have even sat at the same table as Queen Victoria or Major Gordon?

Ben Loyal in Bridge of Allan
Major Gordon’s family home in Bridge of Allan

Major Gordon was from Bridge of Allan here in Scotland but is largely unknown here. In Belgium, however, it is a different story. He is a celebrated war hero because of his courageous actions during the Siege of Antwerp in 1914, Suffice to say, serendipity and scones seem to have coalesced in a way that means that Pat and I now do research on the Society’s behalf here in Scotland.

Recipes

As part of the exchange of correspondence they sent us pictures of the cookbook Major Gordon wrote around 120 years ago. They thought we would be interested in the scone recipe.Major A A Gordon cookbook

Turns out Major Gordon was a bit of a sconey … there were several recipes

Major A A Gordon cookbook

Innovating

Anyway, one day Pat decided to try and bring one of the recipes to life. Scones prepared to Major Gordon's recipeThere were problems however, we didn’t have any “buttermilk”. We didn’t even know what it was! When we looked it up it seemed to come in powdered form. Pat improvised with some self-raising flour and a pinch of sugar. Suffice to say the results, with homemade jam and whipped cream, were rather good. We have now discovered that buttermilk can be made simply by adding vinegar to milk to make it curdle.  Think we’ll leave that for the time being!

You just never knowHonorary Membership certificate for Major A A Gordon Society

We sent the pictures off to Belgium and within days they appeared in the November Issue of the Society’s newsletter. They have also made Pat and I and my sister, who has been researching the Scotch Tearoom in Nice, honorary members. You see you just never know where the simple act of eating a scone will lead. We are, of course delighted and delighted to continue helping the Society in any way we can.

Best laid plans

Back in June in the post from the Timorous Beastie Cafe we referred to the poem “To A Mouse” by Robert Burns. The timorous beastie was a mouse and Burns had just destroyed its nest with his plough. It made him reflect  on life and its unpredictability. “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.” He apologises to the mouse and for the general tyranny of man. With everything going on in the world and now the imbecilic riots in Dublin  last night you might think that man should have progressed a wee bit since Burns’s day. It would appear not! Thank goodness for scones!

The Major A A Gordon Society

Scones

Wee Timorous Beastie Café

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People often ask us how we plan our scone adventures. The answer, of course, is we don’t … they just kind of happen. How we ended up here at the Wee Timorous Beastie Café in Bridge of Allan is a typical example.

A few day ago we received an email from the Major A A Gordon Society, based in Antwerp. They had read one of our posts from 2015 about the Scotch Tea House in Nice. Major Gordon hails from Bridge od Allan and although pretty well unknown here he is a national war hero in Belgium, The Major A A Gordon Society is dedicated to preserving his memory. Their enquiry arose because In 1939  he visited Nice and, according to his letters, had taken tea with his sister-in-law, Dolly, in the “Scottish Tea Rooms”.

Research

They wanted to know if we thought it would be the same tearoom. We had mentioned that its dark cool interior and proximity to the Promenade des Angles made it ideal for Victorian ladies to seek shelter from the sun and partake of tea and scones. Queen Victoria spent a lot of time in Nice. They eventually built a special hotel, the Excelsior, to accommodate her and her entourage of over 100 attendants. She was a fan of all things Scottish so it seemed likely that the “Scottish Tea House” would have also been created around that time. When we replied we also mentioned that we lived close to Bridge of Allan. There then followed a list of requests for us to research in the town. Hence you find us in the Wee Timorous Beastie Café obtaining sustenance before we begin to scour the town for clues to Major Gordon’s existence.Internal view of the Wee Timorous Beastie Café

Of mice and men

“Wee Timorous Beastie’ may seem like an odd name to many readers but, of course, all Scottish folk will identify with it immediately.  The timorous beastie in question is, of course, a field mouse, the description given in the poem,”To A Mouse”, by Robert Burns. He wrote it in 1785 to express his sorrow after he inadvertently destroyed the creature’s nest with his plough.

Back then

Coffee logoThe last time we were here in 2015 it was called  Café 33. Back then it was raining and we were not very impressed with the experience we had there. In addition, David Cameron seemed hell bent on bombing Syria. He had been in power for five years and hadn’t yet managed a war. Surely a significant failure for a British Prime Minister?  Anyway, Syria seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth and this time we were desperately seeking shade.

In the splendid display of cakes on the counter we noted that there was only one scone. We asked if they had some in reserve but they didn’t so we had to reserve this solitary example. After some excellent lunch the scone arrived with our coffee. This time, of course, we didn’t have any choice but to share. No cream but it did come with plenty jam and butter. Not a topscone but we enjoyed it nevertheless.A scone at the Wee Timorous Beastie Café

We were looking for local people to help us with our research so we asked the lady sitting at the next table. She was no use whatsoever! She was from Northampton and had only moved to nearby Dunblane a couple of weeks previously. Her son had had the good sense to marry a Scottish lass and she had decided to move up to be nearer to them. She was still trying to find her way around. A delightful conversation but eventually we had to take our leave, we had work to do!Internal view of the Wee Timorous Beastie Café

Helpful people

Suffice to say that we now know Bridge of Allan much better than we did before. We poked into most of its neuks and crannies and met some lovely people along the way. The folks in the local library were fantastic. One couple were having lunch in their garden in the sunshine until we interrupted their idyl with our questions. That resulted in them going into the house to bring out some local history books and spending ages trying to help. Wonderful! We eventually got answers to most of our questions and have reported back to Belgium. 

And that’s how we plan our scone adventures!

In “To a Mouse” Burns reflected on life and its unpredictability. “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.” He apologises to the mouse and for the general tyranny of man. Unfortunately, in the intervening 250 years, everything has changed but when it comes to the tyranny of man it’s still the same. 

FK9 4HN        tel: 01786 834998         Timorous Beastie FB

///gurgling.presides.documents

Scones, Top

Clarinda’s Tearoom

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Cakes at Clarinda's TearoomThis scone has strongly connections to Robert Burns, Scotland’s national poet, and one of his poems in particular. A corner cabinet in Clarinda's TearoomWith the current political Sunak/Braverman furore you would be forgiven for thinking the poem would be “Such A Parcel Of Roques In A Nation“. In that poem Burns railed against the aristocrats who in 1707 treacherously relinquished the Scottish Parliament and passed all  powers to England. No, no, no, this scone is from Clarinda’s Tearoom in Edinburgh and it’s about an altogether different kind of poem … a love poem. We feel, however, that a little background is required before  we get on to the all important scones. Bear with us!

Sense and nonsense

Robert Burns famously loved the lassies but he was particularly besotted by one, Agnes Maclehose, in particular. However, she was already married, unhappily married but married nevertheless. Her husband had long since left her and gone off to Jamaica. The relationship between Agnes and Robert, though intense, remained platonic throughout. They conducted their romance through letters and exchanges of poetry and to keep their correspondence confidential they adopted pseudonyms … her’s ‘Clarinda’ and his ‘Sylvander’.  Sir Walter Scott referred to the resulting love letters as “the most extraordinary mixture of sense and nonsense, and of love human and divine, that was ever exposed to the eye of the world.” Didn’t they write beautifully back in the day!

Clarinda and Robert Burns
Clarinda and Burns

In December 1791 Agnes decided to sail to Jamaica to try and salvage her marriage. Just before she left Burns penned “Ae Fond Kiss“, a beautiful poem of love and yearning. She arrived in Jamaica only to find that her husband had already started another family with another woman. What are men like?? Never mind, how devastating that experience must have been for Agnes! Broken hearted she returned on the same ship on which she had arrived. She and Robert met once more before he died aged just 37. She never remarried and died in 1841 aged 82.

Queues

 In spite of there being several other cafes in the vicinity we had to queue to get into Clarinda’s. Was this a good sign?  The last time we had to queue was at the Elephant House, not far from here. It was where the Harry Potter books were written. Have you realised that the word ‘queue’ is just a letter with four silent letters waiting in line? This queue was formed mainly of tourists so Clarinda’s is obviously well known, either for the associated story of  romance or the quality of its scones … or maybe both … exciting!

It is a tiny place and there were six in our party so not easy to get a table big enough. No problem they soon had us seated and ready for our scones. The only way to describe Clarinda’s Tearoom is ‘chintzy’. Lace table clothes, loads of pictures and plates hanging on the walls.

Obviously, with a queue outside, there was no let up for the staff. They were lovely, however, and treated everyone as if they were the first customers of the day. We had a scone each and thoroughly enjoyed them. They came with generous pots of jam and cream and a couple of large teapots of tea to go with their eclectic mix of chinaware. Perhaps not the best topscone but we enjoyed Clarinda’s so a topscone nevertheless. No doubt the queue, which was still outside, was delighted to see the six of us leave.

Edinburgh skyline looking north

The above picture was taken from near Clarinda’s Tearoom. You can just about see the top of the Burns Memorial, slightly to the left of the obelisk in the middle. It gazes down on Canongate Churchyard where Clarinda is buried. The romance continues!

Heinous crimes

The obelisk, by the way, is the Political Martyrs Monument. It commemorates five men who campaigned for parliamentary reform and universal suffrage in 1773.  Their crime was consider so heinous they were given an equally heinous sentence … transportation to New South Wales! Don’t people pay for that nowadays?

EH8 8BS        tel: 0131 557 1888         Clarinda Insta

///deflection.tins.pink

Scones, Uncategorized

Tattie Bogle’s

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Russia and it’s people are not exactly flavour of the month these days but, of course, that’s very unfair. Russians are just like the rest of us. They are not all evil despots like Putin, just like we in the UK, are not all bumbling idiots. Anyway, in a miniscule way, this post will try and redress the problem even though we may get accused of being diverted away from the main purpose of this blog.

It’s all about a new enterprise in Falkirk called Tattie Bogle’s. It’s a healthy eating place that tries to minimise packaging and it’s owned by a husband and wife team. She is Scottish and he’s Russian … lovely folk and passionate about what they do.Internal view of Tattie Bogle's

Scary stories

Some of you who are not so familiar with Scottish terminology may be wondering about the name Tattie Bogle’s. A  tattie is a potato here in Scotland as in tattie scone, mince and tatties etc etc. Bogle refers to something scary, as in bogeyman. When you put the two together you end up with a human like form standing amongst crops to scare off unwanted visitors … a scarecrow! Loving parents all over Scotland would tell their children elaborate stories about tattie bogles to scare them half to death.

So Tattie Bogle’s is not a cafe or restaurant, it’s a kind of old-fashioned organic ethical grocers selling, amongst lots of other things, locally sourced fresh fruit and veg. You take along your own containers to cut down on packaging. We are definitely in favour of that … packaging seems to be a modern day curse. They even get their organic milk from Robert Burns’s Mossgiel Farm in Ayrshire. Having said it’s not a cafe it does have a couple of tiny tables where you can sit and have coffee. It was a fabulous sunny day so we thought we would see if they had any scones (we do try to stay on message).

Bavarian croissant, empire biscuits and snowballs
Freshly baked Bavarian croissants, empire biscuits and snowballs

No, no scones but they did have some other delicious looking baking. Bavarian chocolate croissant at Tattie Bogle'sThis is where we got diverted … no scones were harmed in this post. We ended up getting a Bavarian chocolate croissant to share. When we asked for a knife, however, we were told “no knives“. Gosh they really are serious about this no wastage thingy. No matter, Pat ripped it in half with her bare hands. It was delicious and if we were dishing out top-croissant awards this would definitely have qualified.

Brute strength

It was very pleasant sitting there in the sunshine so we decided to prolong our stay with an empire biscuit. An empire biscuit at Tattie Bogle'sNot even a plate this time, just a brown paper bag. Again, Pat just grabbed it and broke it in half. She can be absolutely ruthless when she wants. Having said that, I got the half with the cherry. don’t mistake this for altruism or generosity … she doesn’t like cherries!

Tattie Bogle’s sources its produce with consideration for people, animals and the environment We found its simple ‘back to basics ethos when it comes to health quite refreshing. Let’s have more more Scots/Russian collaborations, more power to their collective elbow!

​We would, however, like less power for Putin’s elbow You could say that he’s a bit of a tattie bogle, he has managed to successfully keep the West at bay after all. From his point of view nuclear weapons are actually a very successful deterrent. They’ve certainly paralysed the West militarily and allowed him to do pretty much as he pleases.

FK1 1JQ     tel: 01324 227718.     Tattie Bogle

///jaws.jungle.calculating

Scones, Uncategorized

Clancy’s Cafe

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Road sign for YeovalFor this post we are not only indebted once again to our antipodean Bathurst correspondents but also to one of their friends.  He sent us some sconological information on Clancy’s Cafe, in Yeoval, New South Wales. The friend’s name is Paterson,  the cafe is contained within the Banjo Paterson museum (see title photo by Gabriela B) and we are Patersons so this post is really a celebration of Patersons the world over. As you can see the little town of Yeoval is “still the greatest” but don’t drink the water. We don’t want to get accused of stereotyping but its our understanding is that Australians only drink beer so don’t suppose that’s any kind of real hardship.

Waltzing across the outback

Banjo Paterson was brought up in Yeoval so presumably, he went straight from mother’s milk to drinking beer at an early age. He is to Australia what Robert Burns is to Scotland. Portrait of Banjo PatersonAn author, balladeer and poet who has kind of come to symbolise the country’s identity. He wrote under the pseudonym “The Banjo”, the name of his best-loved horse.  He died in 1941 and is probably best remembered as the originator of Waltzing Matilda. Perhaps typical for Australia, the song celebrates a sheep rustling itinerant hobo who waltzes (walks) from farm to farm with his matilda (knapsack of belongings). It’s pure nostalgia for a vanished way of life!

Carved inscription of Waltzing Matilda
A sculpture inscribed with the words of Watzing Matilda

The Clancy of Clancy’s Cafe is another daredevil character who appears in several of his stories. For a review of the scones, however, we are indebted to fellow sconey, Toni of  The Devonshire Tea Guide who visited Clancy’s back in 2015: “Whatever brings visitors to Yeoval is what I say, and for me, the scones definitely would. a scone at Clancy's CafeThey are lovingly homebaked, light and fluffy with a creamy texture and taste. The cream is sensational. Real cream whipped thick with an electric beater – how hard is that? Not very, and I wish more places did it. The jam is average but nice and thick and not syrupy sweet, and the mix works brilliantly. Scone lovers are crazy not to stop for five-dollar Devonshire Teas, and maybe linger to learn a bit more about the illustrious poet”.  So now you know, next time you are in Yeoval, Clancy’s is the place.

Clans

Like Banjo Paterson, our correspondent is of Scottish descent. In fact, his grandmother was Banjo’s niece. All Patersons are part of Clan MacLaren so we are all related in one way or another. Scotland, however, currently has a problem with its clans. Clan MacLeod has given rise to President Trump and we even have Clan Johnson …. aargh!! We can only apologise to the world for those aberrations. Reassuringly, as far as we know, Putin has no Scottish connections and neither has Kim Jong Un. Boris actually visited Scotland for a few hours yesterday to encourage donors to the Tory party to keep on digging deep. The essence of his message to the rest of the people of Scotland was: “After over 300 years of Westminster rule, Scotland is too wee, too stupid and too poor to be able to do anything for itself” Talk about shooting yourself in the foot?

NSW 2868     tel: +61 427 208 913     Clancy’s

///televise.transcribe.mediocrity

PS: As you all know, our famous Trossachs correspondents are avid sconeys. However, you may not be aware that they are also keen jigsaw puzzlers. They even do scone jigsaws. Yes, they have a scone jigsaw! Goodness knows where they got that from? Ascone jigsawOne of the scones is actually repeated elsewhere in the puzzle. No prizes but well done if you can spot it.

 

Scones, Uncategorized

Pumpkin scones

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Pumpkin scones? Have you taken leave of your senses we hear you cry! Nothing to do with us … blame the Aussies. Let us explain. With virtually no COVID deaths in the past week, Scotland is gradually easing its way towards lifting lockdown. The risk of catching coronavirus is now at least five times higher in England than Scotland hence the hoo-ha about health checks on the border. In our previous post from the Wineport, we spoke of the Australian government closing the border between the states of New South Wales and Victoria. No sooner had we done so than we received an unrelated but nevertheless timely report from our Bathurst correspondents in NSW.  In their own words:

Today we went on a firewood gathering excursion on a friend’s farm about 30 miles downriver from our home in Bathurst.  For morning tea our hostess served us pumpkin scones.  Alas, no cream or jam, just butter, but they were delicious.  My understanding is that pumpkin is classed as a pig food in the UK, but you eat swedes and turnips instead, which over here, we wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. The wife of a now-deceased premier of Queensland, Flo Bjelke-Peterson, was famous for her pumpkin scones.

Pumpkin v Turnip

They raise a number of points which we will try and address here:

  1. Experienced sconeys would not expect jam and cream with a savoury cheese or pumpkin scones … basic error.
  2. Pumpkins may well be pig food over here but we also find them useful as lanterns at Halloween! Other than that pumpkins are as about as useful as Boris Johnson. Okay, we may be coming down on pumpkins a bit hard there! As lanterns, pumpkins do emit some light whereas the same could never be said of Boris
  3. They are right in saying that we do eat turnips. Every year, in January, when we celebrate the birth of Robert Burns, our national bard, huge quantities of haggis, neeps and tatties (haggis, turnips and potatoes) are consumed along with copious quantities of whisky. Burns saw these as the food and drink of the common man and elevated them above the ‘skinking ware’ that the highfalutin aristocrats partook of. He knew what he was talking about!
  4. We can only assume that the Australian aversion to turnips is due to the likelihood that most of them were sent to Australia for stealing said items. 
 
Shrewd Flo!

Our correspondents also alerted us to the wonderful Flo Bjelke-Peterson.  She was an influential member of the Australian Senate who is the first person we have come across to openly admit to using scones for political purposes. She baked them for family and friends but also for the journalists that used to stake out her home. “They help me relate to the women who make them, and the men who eat them.” So we concede that these pumpkin scones must have been pretty good otherwise their influence politically would have been extremely limited.

When readers in the UK have finished gnawing on their turnips they might want to try Flo’s recipe … if they have a leftover lantern from Halloween!

INGREDIENTS:


1 tablespoon of butter
½ cup of sugar
¼ teaspoon of salt
1 egg
1 cup of cooked mashed pumpkin (cooled)
2-2¼ cups self-raising flour

METHOD: Preheat your oven to 250°C. Beat together butter, sugar and salt with an electric mixer until light and fluffy.
Add egg, then pumpkin and stir in the flour.
Turn dough onto a floured board and cut into circles.
Place on a tray on the top shelf of a very hot oven (225-250°C) for 15-20 minutes.
Remove from oven, allow to cool and serve with butter.
Note: As with all scone dough, it is important not to overmix the dough. Keep your touch light, knead it as little as possible, and only work it enough to just bring it together. When you have cut your scone rounds out, you can recombine the leftover dough to make more scones, but again, don’t overwork the dough, or you will end up with tough scones.

NOTE: We are, of course, hugely grateful to our Bathurst correspondents. Keep them coming but maybe try some proper scones next time.

BREAKING

Donald Trump has been seen wearing a mask. Apparently, he likes it and thinks it makes him look like the Lone Ranger. Up until now, we suspected that he was suffering from another virus which seems to accompany coronavirus. We’re not singling him out, lot’s of people seem to have the imasthickasshitvirus. Sorry!

Who knows, if things continue to go well, we may be able to get out scone hunting again very soon.

island, Ordinary, Scones

Harris Hotel – Again

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This repost is a relatively recent one from just over a year ago. Even so, it harks back to a time when COVID-19 hadn’t been heard of and Brexit was still an issue. As you will see our hopes for one million marchers in London were to be dashed on the jagged rocks of stupidity. Even in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic, the UK is trying to decide what barriers to erect between ourselves and our biggest trading partners … you couldn’t make it up. It might be only a year but our visit to the Harris Hotel now seems from a bygone age.

We landed safely at Tarbert on the Isle of Harris after a relatively uneventful voyage. Many years ago I did a similar crossing from Lochmaddy to Uig and was incredibly seasick. Thankfully all the ships nowadays are fitted with stabilisers making for much smoother crossings. This was to be our first visit to this part of the Outer Hebrides so we were like excited children.

One of many beaches on the Isle of Harris
One of many beaches

Eagles

Our first day was spent driving around South Harris to places like Rodel and Leverburgh. If Pat was hoping that we had left hair raising roads behind on Raasay she was to be disappointed. Nearly all the roads here are single track and they wind up and down and round about in dizzying fashion. However, if like us you are in no rush it can make for very pleasant driving. You just pull in and let any traffic past. We hardly had any traffic, though in the warmer months it might be a different story. By way of compensation for Pat there were golden eagles everywhere. “It’s just a golden eagle” was often the response to my “what’s that?”

External view of the Mission House Studio, Finsbay, Isle of HarrisThere are lots of galleries and craft places here and some were actually open. This one, the Mission House Studio at Finsbay was fabulous. It’s run by Beka (fine art photographer) and Nickolai Globe (ceramic artist). Their stuff was so good we actually parted with some cash! Yes, that good!!

Ruling classes

When we got back to Tarbert where we were staying, the Harris Hotel was just a couple of hundred yards down the road. Would they have scones? It’s a very pleasant place built in 1865 by the Earl of Dunmore. We thought it was interesting to look at past owners. Obviously there was the original Earl followed by Sir Edward Scott, followed by Lord Leverhulme, followed by Sir Tom Sopworth and then Lord Brockett. Do you notice a theme running through these names? All from the tax avoiding ruling classes. Placards from the London Revoke Article 50 marchWe are grateful to our Ballachulish correspondent who sent us pictures of some creative placards from the recent anti-Brexit march in London.  One million people attended. They certainly sum up how we feel and emphasize the point that toffs really are terribly terribly unsuited to government … golly gosh, yes!

Today the headlines read “MPs seize control!” which makes us think “the lunatics have taken over the asylum!“. Every time we think it can’t get any worse, it does. Let’s hope those one million marchers have some effect.

Doubts creep in

Nowadays they are not at all fussy who they let into the hotel … our presence being proof of exactly that. Warmly welcomed, we were still recovering from the worst of the effects of the fresh air when a couple of warm scones were placA scone at the Harris Hotel on the Isle of Harrised in front of us. Just sitting there looking out over the gardens was pleasant enough in itself and our lovely scones did nothing to detract from the cosy illusion that all was well with the world. Not topscones but we thoroughly enjoyed them nevertheless. Some time back, when we were on the Orkneys, after a run of topscones, we developed a theory that the further north you went the better the scones got. We are starting to have doubts because there’s been none so far on this trip.

Vandals

In one of the corridors, they have a display case containing an old window from the hotel’s dining room because in 1912, J M Barrie of Peter Pan fame scratched his initials in the glass. Must have been a fashionable thing to do at one time. He joins a list of illustrious artistes like Robert Burns who vandalised windows all over the place.

Honesty

We are letting you see this picture of Croft 36 because, for us, it seeSelf service restaurant on the Isle of Harrismed to sum up life on the Isle of Harris. It’s a café shack at the side of a little road on South Harris near Northton.  Inside there’s a cauldron of scotch broth, hot pies and quiches, patisserie style baking including scones … and a price list. You just help yourself to whatever takes your fancy. There’s no one there, just an honesty box .. fantastic. In hindsight, we should have bought some scones but they only came in packets of four so we didn’t. Stupid, they might have been topscones!A view over the Isle of Harris

HS3 3DL          tel: 01859 502154           Harris

K6 telephone box at Finsbay on the Isle of Harrisps: Telephone boxes in this part of the world seem to be located either in people’s gardens or other places difficult to get to. Perhaps it’s testament to the strength of the winds they get up here that this one at Finsbay had lost its door. It had been manufactured at the Saracen Foundry in Glasgow but wasn’t operational.

Boris has returned from his COVID sickbed to be greeted by the media like some all-conquering hero rather than the person largely culpable for hundreds if not thousands of coronavirus deaths. What’s all that about? Hopefully, at some point, he and his hapless buddies will be held to account.

NOTE: In case you are starting to feel the pressures of isolation the Psychiatric Association has stated that during quarantine it is considered normal to talk to your walls, plants and pots. You should only contact them if they reply.

HARRIS SHED

A shed on the Isle of Harris
A corrugated iron shed at Aird Asaig not far from the Harris Hotel

Ordinary, Scones

The Lobster Pot

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Although Blackness is not far from home we haven’t visited much in the past ten years. Why? Because the pub closed down and it’s a dead end road so there was nowhere to go when you got here. You could go for a walk, visit the castle but that was about all. It was tragic because Blackness itself is lovely with a nice beach and a nice castle but it needed the pub.

Blackness Castle on a December day
Blackness Castle in December

However, our doughty Trossachs correspondents tipped us off that the pub had reopened and was worth a  visit. And they weren’t wrong.

A brisk day

First though a little bit about the castle that has stood here for over 500 years. Sometimes known as the Ship That Never Sailed because, from the seaward side it looks like a great battleship. When German submarine U-21 ventured up the River Forth in 1914 that’s what they thought they saw when they raised their periscope. They decided to venture no further. Having walked along to the castle on what might be best described as a brisk day, we were in need of sustenance.

Internal view of the Lobster Pot at BlacknessWhen you enter the Lobster Pot the sign above the door “We’re All Doomed” gives a hint of what’s to follow.  The interior is lovely and warm with a very welcome open fire at one end. Help Me First lifebeltIt is a bar/restaurant which also incorporates “The Wee Shop”. You can buy your loaf, your cornflakes, your pint and have a meal all in the same place … brilliant! There is a veritable cornucopia of paraphernalia virtually everywhere you look. On the ceiling directly above our table was this lifebelt. In the unlikely event of us ever going on a cruise, we want two of these please.

Who needs cream?

The Lobster Pot has only been open since August and it must be a welcome return for the village. All the staff were very friendly and soon had us sorted with some lunch and a couple of fruit scones. Initially they said that cream was no problem but later said that it was. Not to worry butter and jam would do just fine … we can rough it!

The scones and tea arrived after a perfect lunch. Unfortunately they did not live up to the standards we had already come to expect of the place. Enjoyable enough but just a tad on the stodgy side. The jam was from England and the butter from Ireland … what can we say? Nevertheless, the Lobster Pot is an excellent pub and we will be visiting Blackness much more often as a result. We hope it goes from strength to strength.

Blackness is Braw poemWhen Robert Burns was visiting the area in 1787 he had been obliged to leave nearby Bo’ness after calling it “That dirty ugly place Barrowstounnes” . He sought refuge here and was duly impressed because he wrote this poem “Blackness Is Braw” (Blackness is Superduper). Perhaps it was the ladies bathing in the mineral rich sediment of Blackness Bay (they still do it) that impressed him most. He always had an eye for the ladies after all!

Vintage photo of fishermen at Blackness This vintage photo of Blackness fishermen in 1919 was hanging on the wall. Amongst them there’s Ewan ‘Muffy’ McLachlan, George ‘Rasher’ Redmond, ‘Raving Ross’ Rintoul, ‘Mad Jack’ Melville and ‘Dark Drew’ Storer. It could easily be mistaken for a modern day picture of Boris’s new Conservative cabinet. We think, however, that we would rather be governed by ‘Mad Jack’ and his crew.

Help, please!

Before we leave the Lobster Pot perhaps you could help us with this? Close to where we were seated was this little boxed diorama. As you will be aware a diorama is a three-dimensional scene used to creatively express learning. However, we were stumped by this. What were we supposed to learn? Diarama at the Lobster Pot in BlacknessIt contains a fisherman pointing at a cooked lobster on top of a creel, five bottles of Guinness, a terrier dog wearing wellington boots and a large snake wound around a naked lady. There is some deep meaning here but we are perplexed. Perhaps some readers may have a greater insight?

No more scones until 2020 so while you are pondering naked ladies, snakes and lobsters may we take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Many thanks for your indulgence during the past year.

EH49 7NL             tel: 01506 830086            Lobster Pot

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island, Ordinary, Scones

Harris Hotel

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We landed safely at Tarbert on the Isle of Harris after a relatively uneventful voyage. Many years ago I did a similar crossing from Lochmaddy to Uig and was incredibly sea sick. Thankfully all the ships nowadays are fitted with stabilisers making for much smoother crossings. This was to be our first visit to this part of the Outer Hebrides so we were like excited children.

One of many beaches on the Isle of Harris
One of many beaches

Our first day was spent driving round South Harris to places like Rodel and Leverburgh. If Pat was hoping that we had left hair raising roads behind on Raasay she was to be disappointed. Nearly all the roads here are single track and they wind up and down and round about in dizzying fashion. However, if like us you are in no rush it can make for very pleasant driving. You just pull in and let any traffic past. We hardly had any traffic though in the warmer months it might be a different story. By way of compensation for Pat there were golden eagles everywhere. “It’s just a golden eagle” was often the reposte to my “what’s that?”

External view of the Mission House Studio, Finsbay, Isle of HarrisThere are lots of galleries and craft places here and some were actually open. This one, the Mission House Studio at Finsbay was fabulous. It’s run by Beka (fine art photographer) and Nickolai Globe (ceramic artist). Their stuff was so good we actually parted with some cash! Yes, that good!!

Ruling classes

When we got back to Tarbert where we were staying, the Harris Hotel was just a couple of hunderd yards down the road. Would they have scones? It’s a very pleasant place built in 1865 by the Earl of Dunmore. We thought it was interesting to look at past owners. Obviously there was the original Earl followed by Sir Edward Scott, followed by Lord Leverhulme, followed by Sir Tom Sopworth and then Lord Brockett. Do you notice a theme running through these names? All from the tax avoiding ruling classes. Placards from the London Revoke Article 50 marchWe are grateful to our Ballachulish correspondent who sent us pictures of some creative placards from the recent anti-Brexit march in London.  One million people attended. They certainly sum up how we feel and emphasis the point that toffs really are terribly terribly unsuited to government … golly gosh, yes!

Today the headlines read “MPs seize control!” which makes us think “the lunatics have taken over the asylum!“. Every time we think it can’t get any worse, it does. Let’s hope those one million marchers have some effect.

Doubts creep in

Nowadays they are not at all fussy who they let into the hotel … our presence being proof of exactly that. Warmly welcomed, we were still recovering from the worst of the effects of the fresh air when a couple of warm scones were placA scone at the Harris Hotel on the Isle of Harrised in front of us. Just sitting there looking out over the gardens was pleasant enough in itself and our lovely scones did nothing to detract from the cosy illusion that all was well with the world. Not topscones but we thoroughly enjoyed them nevertheless. Some time back, when we were on the Orkneys, after a run of topscones, we developed a theory that the further north you went the better the scones got. We are starting to have doubts. None so far on this trip.

Vandals

In one of the corridors they have a display case containing an old window from the hotel’s dining room. It’s there because in 1912, J M Barrie of Peter Pan fame scratched his initials in the glass. Must have been a fashionable thing to do at one time. He joins a list of illustrious artistes like Robert Burns who vandalised windows all over the place.

Honesty

We are letting you see this picture of Croft 36 because, for us, it seeSelf service restaurant on the Isle of Harrismed to sum up life on the Isle of Harris. It’s a café shack at the side of a little road on South Harris near Northton.  Inside there’s a cauldron of scotch broth, hot pies and quiches, patisserie style baking including scones … and a price list. You just help yourself to whatever takes your fancy. There’s no one there, just an honesty box .. fantastic. In hindsight we should have bought some scones but they only came in packets of four so we didn’t. Stupid, they might have been topscones!A view over the Isle of Harris

HS3 3DL          tel: 01859 502154           Harris

K6 telephone box at Finsbay on the Isle of Harrisps: Telephone boxes in this part of the world seem to be located either in people’s gardens or other places difficult to get to. Perhaps it’s testament to the strength of the winds they get up here that this one at Finsbay had lost its door. It wasn’t operational but it had been manufactured at the Saracen foundry in Glasgow.

Ordinary, Scones

Star & Garter Hotel

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Scotland’s national poet, Robert Burns, was born 1759 in the Ayrshire town of Alloway. The same year also saw the birth of this place, in the West Lothian town of Linlithgow. At that time it was the home of the wealthy Boyd family of ship owners. By the 1847, however, it had been transformed into a coaching inn, the Star & Garter, under the ownership of James Burleigh. At that time it was the Avis or Hertz of its day, hiring out horses and carriages. It’s right beside the station which is handy for us. While our car is being serviced in Bo’ness we can jump on a train and the garage picks us up from here. On some previous occasions, you may remember, they have picked us up at the Black Bitch.

Having a little time to spare, however, our attention was drawn towards the possibility of a scone. When we asked we were informed by a nice young man that tea and coffee were no problem. However, if we wanted a scone we would have to wait until he baked one. You will agree, it would have been rude and churlish to turn him down on such an offer.

Internal view of the Star & Garter Hotel, LinlithgowWhat’s in a name?

There are loads of pubs in Britain bearing the Star & Garter name. How come? As far as we can ascertain the Garter bit comes from the Order of the Garter. In 1344, Edward III decided to admit some of his knights to the Order of the Garter to make them feel a bit special among all these other common-or-garden knights. A bribe, in other words, for extra loyalty. The medals accompanying these awards usually came in the form of stars. Presumably the phrase “star and garter” began to be used to denote something a bit special. Would our scone be worthy of such an accolade?

Promising start

We were sitting by an open log fire waiting for them to be baked so  no great hardship there. Although we had our tea and coffee, waiting like this does heighten the sense of anticipation. Suffice to say, by the time they Scones at the Star & Garter Hotel, Linlithgowarrived we were ready! Having just come from the oven they were wonderfully warm, and although there was no cream there was plenty of jam and butter. First bite was very promising however as we progressed we decided that they had just been slightly over baked. We like them slightly crunchy on the outside but these were more ‘hard’. Had it not been for that they could have merited a topscone but sadly it was not to be. Fireside at the Star & Garter Hotel, Linlithgow

Honoured

However, sitting here by the fire in February with a slightly hard scone is still very enjoyable. We always feel honoured when folk offer to bake scones specially for us. Not as honoured as a knight of the realm you understand and certainly not as much as a gartered one, but honoured nevertheless.

Bribes

It is incredible that the government was defeated yet again last night and it doesn’t seem to make the slightest bit of difference. Why do they bother with all that palaver? Theresa May, never mind she cannot even command her own government, sets off to Brussels in another futile attempt to browbeat the EU into some sort of submission. It really takes some believing. Perhaps she is going with a bundle of stars and garters in her handbag. She has bribed everyone else so it may be worth a try.

A Parcel of Rogues

When Robert Burns wrote ‘Such A Parcel Of Rogues In A Nation’ he could easily have been referring to Brexit and the secretive ERG group of MPs.  He wrote: “Is wrought now by a coward few, For hireling traitor’s wages”.Though he could just as easily aimed it at MPs in the Labour party who will go with anything just to keep their jobs.

EH49 7AB          tel: 01506 845647           Star & Garter

ps. Honours should really go to our N.Ireland correspondents who, on a wee trip to Venice, diligently set about searching for a scone. Not easy in such an uncultured place however they did manage to find scone approximations. A Carnavle scone in VeniceApparently these items are only made at Carnavale time. This year that runs from 16th Feb to 5th March so we are doubly honoured to be seeing such rare Italian sconey things. They didn’t say how they tasted however .. more training required!

As always, many thanks to all our correspondents.