Tag Archives: Westminster

Sugar Boat – Helensburgh

23rd August 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

For some time now Pat has been dropping hints about visiting Helensburgh. As a wee lass she and her mum used to go there by train from their home in Drumchapel. They would play on the beach and swim in the outdoor pool. On the other hand, I didn’t know the town at all. However, recently I have become increasingly aware of it as the start-point of the 134 mile long John Muir Way. It begins in Helensburgh before passing very close to our house in Falkirk then finishing on the east coast at Muir’s birthplace in Dunbar. It’s very popular with walkers and cyclists.

View from Helensburgh beach over Clyde to Greenock — *A rather sombre view across the ‘beach’ towards Greenock, three miles away*

So on this rather wet and humid day it was a kind of nostalgia trip for Pat and, for me, an introductory visit to this west coast town.

Memories

Memories are funny things and sometimes they can play tricks on you. The beach that Pat remembered so well is actually a rather dismal strip of sand about four or five feet wide and about thirty feet long. When the tide’s out, it consists, almost entirely, of a vast area of dark slippery seaweed over rough rocks. The swimming pool is now closed though apparently it is due to be completely rebuilt in the next year or so.

TV and all that

The town’s sea front consists mainly of fairly dilapidated ice cream parlours, the usual charity shops and the odd rather sorry looking pub. In the 2014 Scottish independence referendum one of the claims from the union side was that this town would be devastated by independence and the withdrawal of the nearby Royal Naval Base. Well today it was looking pretty devastated even with all the phantasmagorical benefits that the UK supposedly brings. Most of the workers on the base live in the south of England so the town derives little benefit.

As we walked along the front we came across a memorial to John Logie Baird, inventor of television and a native of the town. He gave the first ever demonstration of the new fandangled technology in what used to be Falkirk’s Temperance Hotel. It all happens in Falkirk! By the time we reached the west end we were feeling pretty depressed by the general state of decay so we decided to go one street back from the sea for our return journey. What a good idea that was. Otherwise we would not have come across the lovely Colquhoun Square and this delightful little bistro/café, the Sugar Boat.

Dog biscuits

We were welcomed with open arms into a beautifully appointed restaurant, come wine bar, come coffee house … fab! We did think about sitting outside since the rain had stopped and it was still very warm but there was a nice little café area just inside the door so we sat there instead. There was a really nice restaurant area at the back but we were not in the business of a full meal … just a ‘you know what’. The ones on display looked promising. The service was great and we were soon kitted out with our drinks and scones complete with jam and clotted cream. We enjoyed everything about this place. Lots of nice touches. Beer from one of our favourite islands, Colonsay, and even a glass jar with complimentary dog biscuits. Apparently we didn’t qualify due to our lack of dog.

Jamon Serrajo Zaragoza at Sugar Boat, Helensburgh — *Jamon Serrano Zaragoza*

An overall lovely experience and no problem awarding a topscone.

In case you are wondering who Helen of Helensburgh was, it was Lady Helen Sutherland, wife of Sir James Colquhoun who owned everything around these parts in 1785 … his descendants probably still do! Before that it was known as Millig.

Thanks largely to the Sugar Boat we left Helensburgh feeling in a much more positive mood than when we first arrived. Even the weather had improved. Our route took us through the lovely village of Rhu with its marina and beautiful Victorian country houses to the Faslane Naval Submarine Base. Home to the famous Faslane Peace Camp, first established in 1982 and still going today.

We’re doomed

From there we drove over Glen Douglas to Inverbeg on Loch Lomondside with an ever increasing sense of impending doom. Our progress was halted by a herd of cattle standing on the single track road. None of them looked very happy and certainly didn’t seem inclined to move. Perhaps it was due to the fact that the hill on the right behind the white cow. It is actually hollow and filled with enough nuclear warheads to blow the entire world to kingdom come.

The cows are not the only ones that feel dismayed about these useless weapons of mass destruction. Scotland overwhelmingly would like them all moved to a warehouse next to Westminster. Even better, since all the warheads actually belong to the USA, to a warehouse near the Whitehouse. Scotland, of course, has no voice in such matters. Eventually, the cows wandered off and we were able to continue. It has to be said though that Glen Douglas has a decidedly spooky feel about it.

G84 8AQ tel: 01436 647522 Sugar Boat

ps. Speaking of the USA. The Pedant has just returned from adventures in the New England and sent this photo of a K6 in Ely, Cambridgeshire, Old England. He sent it because it is still a fully functioning call box. Not a book swap library, not a CD exchange, not a defibrillator point, not for growing geraniums … a call box! And why is this wonderful thing still functioning after all these years … because it was made in Falkirk of course! Told you it all happens in Falkirk.

Ordinary, Scones

Kerrera Tea Garden

20th July 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well this is similar but, of course, it is more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.

Gallanach Ferry from the Isle of Kerrera — Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times

Getting there

Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden however involves a road trip to Oban, a ferry and then an hours walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.

The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.

Inside the Byre at the Kerrera Tea Garden on the Isle of Kerrera — The Byre

Sacre Blue

We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.

When we arrived there was a party of six French folk who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to thonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all put out. The Auld Alliance is intact!

View of Gylen Castle on the Isle of Kerrera — The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne

buy cialis pill cute-n-tiny.com The blood supply into the erection containers made of spongy tissue called as corpus cavernosum to relax and smoothen. Epillsrx.com offers levitra best price at a 100% lowest-price guarantee, which ensures customers that they have received from the online course and it remains fresh and clear in the mind. Hair follicles have a sensitivity to DHT – so when the DHT is present in discover address now cialis cheapest the follicles, it makes them miniaturize – resulting in an abnormal production of the hormone adrenocorticotropin. This issue cialis canada generico might not be a matter of life and death in some extreme cases. We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.

View of Ben Cruachan from the Isle of Kerrera — Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance

Sheep talk

On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep baaing to each other … baa, baa, baa, baa. The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man”, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.

Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.

PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden

ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.

Telephone cables

If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978 and the other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.

View of first trans Atlantic telephone cable landing point on the Isle of Kerrera — Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.

Wilting

We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!

Scones, weird

The Almond Tree Café

17th June 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

We have been aware of the Almond Tree Café in our home town of Falkirk for many moons but for some reason have never ventured inside. Maybe it’s because it’s tucked away from the main shopping area near what used to be the Glasgow Buildings. A huge tenement which, at one time, housed hundreds of people right in the town centre. When folk complain that the centre of Falkirk is dying they probably forget that not so long ago, lots of people actually lived in or near the High Street. It made the town centre much more vibrant than it is today. Now, no one lives there.

Where the Glasgow Buildings used to be is now a car park. The only good thing that can be said about it is that parking is free after 3pm. Hence we were using it this afternoon. That’s how we ended up at the Almond Tree Café.

Thunderbolts

It is quite a big modern place, with a large seating area upstairs. Ssurprise, surprise, turns out that it is part of the adjacent Struthers Memorial Church. It had never occurred to us that the two were connected in any way. The bookshop full of Christian books and the fact that the almond tree is mentioned quite a lot in the Bible (Aaron’s rod etc) should, perhaps, have made it pretty obvious. Sometimes we can be a bit slow on the uptake. The Struthers MC is a Pentacostal church founded on the memory of the Rev J P Struthers. He was a powerful preacher and children’s author in Greenock until his death in 1915. He was actually struck down at a relatively young age while preaching. Must have said something wrong!

Bizarre systems

Many regard the SMC as a cult where they think of themselves as anointed and speak in tongues. Not exactly our cup of tea but, lo and behold, they did have scones … cherry and coconut scones to be precise. Weird scones to go with their weird servery. You pay for what you want then you have to walk round the a corner to collect a cup then bring it back and fill it up from a machine … bizarre. They definitely need some divine guidance here or even plain common sense would do. At the end of the day the scones were actually very good though the coffee wasn’t great nor were the people behind the counter. Probably volunteers so perhaps we shouldn’t criticise too much.

The SMC only has about 300 members over seven or eight bases in the UK so goodness knows how they make it pay. The Almond Tree itself is only open about five hours a day Tuesday to Saturday which wouldn’t make it a successful business and the shutters were down as we were leaving at 3.30pm??

Anyway, speaking in tongues, or glossolalia as it is properly known, is defined as: the fluid vocalising of speech-like syllables that lack any readily comprehended meaning. The Secretary of State for Scotland, David ‘Fluffy’ Mundell, has raised glossolalia to dizzying new heights at Westminster this week. It’s ironic that Westminster is defending what it is doing in the name of democracy. Have they forgotten that devolution was forced on an extremely unwilling UK by the EU. Why? Because the UK was deemed the most undemocratic state in Europe and the EU felt that devolution would give parts of the UK some sort of say in how they were governed.

Wringing hands

Now, Fluffy, a complete waste of oxygen where representing Scotland’s interests is concerned, has decreed that decisions taken in the Scottish Parliament are of no value whatsoever if Westminster just happens to disagree with them. What sort of devolution is that? He has also said that Scotland is no longer a partner in the UK, we are part of the UK. When did that happen? The UK is registered with the UN as: 2 countries (England and Scotland), 1 principality (Wales) and 1 province (N. Ireland). It probably doesn’t matter any more … the Union is bust. Meanwhile the Labour party has mastered the difficult art of simultaneously wringing their hands whilst sitting on them. Little wonder the SNP has seen its membership sore in the past few days.

FK1 1PW tel: 01324 626000 The Almond Tree

Scones, Top

The Smithy Tea Room

1st May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

On previous occasions when we have been in New Galloway the Catstrand theatre and gallery has provided us with scones from their café area. We have always enjoyed them. This time, however, we noticed that there was a new kid on the block just a few yards down the street, The Smithy Tea Room. It sits on the banks of the Mill Burn, so we decided to give it a go. And what a good decision that was. We were greeted by a lady who was as bright as a button.

Once we were seated she took our order. When she asked if we would like our scones toasted her head was moving up and down as she looked at us knowingly. The decision was made and it was another good one as it turned out.

Good ideas

The jam came in little pots like you normally get from Wilkins and Sons, Tiptree. These jars, however, were being recycled and had been filled by hand. Excellent idea! They also had a novel way of serving their butter neatly wrapped in parchment paper. Simple but very effective. There was loads of cream and guess what, it was from Finlay’s ‘Cream o’ Galloway’ Farm which is not only local but produces everything organically. This is definitely the way it should be rather than, like so many places we come across in Scotland, importing Rhodda’s cream from Cornwall. On the counter there was a glass urn full of water from which you could help yourself. Another great idea.

Knowing nods

The owners had only had the Smithy for six weeks but obviously had a sense of humour as testified by the sign for the toilets. There was just a good feel about the Smithy. There was also lots of other stuff like jewellery, preserves and paintings by local craft people in the shop area. Remember that knowing nod, well the scones were wonderfully toasted and absolutely delicious. Definitely an easy topscone. We liked everything about this place.

The milky way

New Galloway itself is a beautiful little town but it is also a dark place!! The Forest Park in which it sits is one of the darkest places in Europe … 75,000 hectares of land with hardly anyone living there hence it has been designated the first Dark Sky Park in the UK. On a Sky Quality Meter (yes there is such a thing) it measures almost the same as a photographer’s darkroom … and believe me, that’s dark. So if you want to see the Milky Way and have a great scone, this is the place to be.

A definite lack of light

This place may be dark but there is an equally dark area surrounding Westminster. Doubt it would raise even a flicker on a Politics Quality Meter. It seems that none of our tawdry government will resign as a matter of honour. Instead they try and lie and worm their way out of any mess they find themselves in. That’s until the evidence becomes irrefutable and they are forced out … pathetic. Of course Amber Rudd probably had to remain in post in the Windrush scandal in order to protect the Prime Minister. Now that Rudd has gone it remains to be seen who Theresa May will try and deflect the blame onto next. Whatever happens don’t hold out too much hope for light being introduced into the situation.

DG7 3RN tel: 01644 420269 The Smithy

Ordinary, Scones

Sundial Café

1st February 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

In 1752 the redcoats were in hot persuit. When Robert Louis Stevenson was writing Kidnapped he chose Limekilns as the final point of escape for David Balfour and Alan Breck. An odd choice when you look at the sleepy little village today, however, it wasn’t always like this.

Publican’s daughters

Its sheltered natural harbour meant that it once had a thriving fishing industry. As its name suggests, burning lime was another. However, in the 18th century, the harbour also served as the northern terminus for a ferry service from Bo’ness on the opposite shore. Maybe that’s why Stevenson chose this place? Anyway, Alison Hastie, the local innkeeper’s daughter rowed them across and the two young fugitives successfully escaped … hurrah! Nowadays, of course, they could just have walked across the river using any one of three bridges. Okay, you are not supposed to walk on the rail bridge but if you were fleeing for your life??

The sundial at the Sundial Cafe in Limekilns — Sundial dated 1689

We got here by using the new Queensferry Crossing. Without expansion joints it’s a very smooth drive but how have they done that? Where does the expansion go? Having arrived in Fife we decided to take the more indirect but picturesque coastal route on the north side of the Forth. Limekilns is one of the first villages you come across. It’s home to the Sundial Café.

Cheese and bacon

Unsurprisingly it gets its name from the sundial high up on the corner of the building. In Scotland, these things are only of use on the rare occasions when the sun actually shines. Presumably when this one was installed there were not that many alternatives. Inside, on the ground floor, it is small and cosy with a large log burning stove. There is also a fairly large seating area upstairs. It’s pretty obvious

Internal view of the Sundial Café in Limekilns — Upstairs and downstairs in the Sundial

that the renovation of the 400 year old building has been done very sympathetically. When we arrived mid afternoon they only had two scones left, one fruit and the other cheese and bacon. We decide to have them both and share, half each. What are we like?

They were very good – the fruit one came with plenty of jam but they didn’t have any cream … boo! No topscone but a lovely place with friendly people … highly recommended.

Liabilities

In 1362 King David II, as kings do, gave Limekilns harbour to the monks of Dunfermline Abbey to encourage trade with Europe. Oh, with the shambles that is Brexit, for that sort of initiative these days! Shock horror! As we sit gazing out towards the North Sea, BP has announced that it is to double its North Sea oil production. They will also keep extracting for the next forty years. In 2014 it was explained what a liability the dribble of oil that was left was for Scotland. So now that liability has just got a whole lot bigger. Thanks Westminster, what would we do without you? If Scotland ever gets its independence the maritime border with England, surreptitiously redrawn in 1999 to run just off Aberdeen will have to be extended yet again to take in all the oilfields around Shetland. What fun!

KY11 3HN tel: 01383 873370 Sundial Café TA

ps something for all our telephone box enthusiasts, not a K2 or a K6 or even made of iron. One of our wonderful correspondents has just sent this picture of a wooden telephone box taken at the National Museum of Scotland. According to the information it is dated 1930s and is from the Hope Street Post Office in Edinburgh. Apparently a lot of post offices provided these payphones for customers when few people had telephones at home. Things have changed since then. Thank goodness for social media, otherwise how else would we know that Scotland’s thirteen Tory MPs had voted to remove powers from the Scottish Parliament?

Ordinary, Scones

The Gallery Café

1st December 2017 billpaterson1@me.com

Gosh, it’s been a while. We have both been so caught up with other things that scones have had to take a back seat. Disgraceful, we know. Yesterday, however, we managed to tear ourselves away from building works to attend a St Andrews Day book launch at the Stirling Smith Art Gallery and Museum. And it just so happened that, in the Gallery Café, they had scones. Back in harness.

An Eagle In A Henhouse

The launch was for a new book by Lachlan Munro on the political speeches of Robert Bontine Cunninghame Graham. Regular readers will know that we have a bit of a soft spot for Graham. He is a national hero in Argentina, where he was a gaucho for many years, yet remains a relatively obscure character at home in Scotland and the UK. He was a landowning aristocrat who lived only a short distance from Stirling and during his flamboyant and adventurous life became friends with George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Keir Hardy and the likes.

On the side of oppressed people wherever they were, be they crofters, miners, women or even Sioux Indians. He hated politicians but became one and managed to get himself thrown out of Westminster on three occasions for disrespecting the House. A mighty achievement in itself. He even spent time in jail for taking part in a Trafalgar Square march in support of Irish home rule. His ability to ruffled feathers gave rise to the book’s name “An Eagle In A Hen-House”.

Chaos

He was a founder of both the Scottish Labour and Scottish National Parties. The launch, however, had politicians of all colours reading extracts from the book. There must have been a couple of hundred people at the launch so when formal proceedings came to a close they all descended on the Gallery Café at the same time … chaos! Eventually we managed to get a scone. The first we had had in ages. It was nowhere near a topscone but given the time since our last one, we thoroughly enjoyed it. No cream but plenty jam and butter. And the coffee was excellent.

Disembodied heads

The Stirling Smith was founded in 1874 from money given by local artist Thomas Stuart Smith. It has continued as a public-private partnership to this day for the benefit of the citizens of Stirling, Dunblane and Kinbuck … long may it continue! As we were leaving to go home we were alarmed to come across what we initially thought was the disembodied head of our prime minister. Turned out to be nothing more than a left-over from halloween … phew!FK8 2RQ tel: 01786 471917 The Gallery Cafe FB

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies

14th August 2017 billpaterson1@me.com

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

© bill paterson photography — January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling — Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant

Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling — Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

FK9 4UF tel: 01786 458860 Dobbies Garden Centre

BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. They look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.

Scones, Top

The Bothy

13th July 2017 billpaterson1@me.com

We sailed into Port Mòr, the capital of the Isle of Muck, in great anticipation. For some reason this was the culmination of a long held ambition to actually visit Muck rather than just viewing it from a distance. Maybe it has something to do with the name? We were not to be disappointed … it is a great island. Not in size, only 2 by 0.75 miles, but it just has a lovely feel to it. It’s fertile and the land seems well tended giving it a softer look than its neighbours Rùm and Eigg.

On the Isle of Muck looking towards Skye — Looking towards Skye in the distance with Rùm to the left

We walked the only road on the island, about 1.6 miles long, and the same Land Rover passed us five times. It was the only thing that passed.

On the main road on the Isle of Muck — Looking the other way towards Port Mòr … waiting for a corncrake to appear

Muck meat

We stopped at one point because a corncrake was calling in one of the fields. In spite of a lengthy wait, as usual, this shyest of birds, did not reveal itself. Muck has been owned since 1896 by the family of Lawrence and Ewen McEwen. It currently has a population of about 38.

Internal view of the Bothy tearoom on the Isle of Muck — Everyone is outside

The island is famous for its succulent ‘Muck Meat’ derived from lambs that thrive on the rich grassland in this stress-free environment. They also breed Highland ponies using a stallion that goes by the rather impressive name of ‘Strathmashie Seumas Mhor’. You can probably tell by now that we really like Muck. And to top it all off, they had scones in Port Mòr’s, Bothy tearoom. Sometimes you can just tell as soon as you walk into a place that there is a high probability of the scones being good … so it was with the Bothy.

We were served by Jenny McEwen who had made the scones earlier in the day. They were delicious and accompanied by a generous portion of homemade apricot jam and a knob of butter. Great coffee and sitting outside in the sunshine with chickens under the table waiting for crumbs didn’t do anything to lessen our enjoyment. Easy topscone. Well done Jenny and all the ladies who were providing great service in this tearoom. We only had three hours so before long it was time to make our way back to the ferry. Guess what we came across?

K6 telephone box on the Isle of Muck — Another Lion foundry, Kirkintilloch K6

You got it … a K6 standing high above the village. They really are everywhere, though this one was looking a wee bit sorry for itself. Unusually for such items in these parts, it did not seem to have acquired an alternative use.

Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck looking towards the mainland — Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck

A quieter more peaceful world

When you are on places like this, you definitely get the feeling that no matter how disastrous things get in the outside world, life on Muck will just go on regardless. The same could be said for all the islands we visited. They are indeed another world … a quieter more peaceful world. What possible interest could Putin or Trump have here? Not a lot, and we think that the islanders themselves are very happy for it to stay that way. On the other hand, EU investment has been good for this part of the world. Let’s hope that the same level of interest is maintained, in a year or so, when such decisions are left entirely to Westminster. Don’t hold your breath though.

Pier House in Port Mòr on the Isle of Muck — Pier House in Port Mòr

All too soon the hooter sounds on the ferry signalling that we must return to some semblance of reality … boo!

PH41 2RP tel: 01687 460057/462990 The Bothy

ps: For those interested in Pat’s bird count from Arisaig, Eigg, Rùm and Muck here, it is in rough order of observation. Robin, starling, swallow, blackbird, dunnock, house sparrow, hooded crow, oystercatcher, greenfinch, song thrush, grey heron, black guillemot, cormorant, eider duck, guillemot, Manx shearwater, chaffinch, great black-backed gull, herring gull, collared dove, golden eagle, feral pigeon, sea eagle, buzzard, whitethroat, rock pipit, arctic tern, wood pigeon, pied wagtail, lesser black-backed gull, raven, kittiwake, pintail duck, gannet, skylark, rook, kestrel, wheatear, lapwing, greylag goose, goldfinch, pheasant, corn bunting, mistle thrush, corncrake (heard). That’s 44 in total.

I would give her 45 for that corncrake but I know our very strict birding mentor, RD, would not allow it. Oddly we didn’t see any swans or mallards and we just missed a storm petrel and some puffins. There were also quite a few warblers and such like that we could not positively identify. Pat was pleased with her total so that’s all that matters.

Ordinary, Scones

The Park Bistro

14th March 2017 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

In the year 1818 a man stood in a field somewhere between Edinburgh and Falkirk and drove his spade into the soil. He was starting to excavate a massive thirty one mile long ditch between the two towns which would eventually be filled with water. The Union Canal, as we know it today. Nowadays we have huge automated earth moving machines. It is quite extraordinary to think that this canal with all its tunnels and aqueducts had to be constructed entirely by hand. Millions of spadefuls mostly at the hands of hundreds of Highlanders and Irishmen.

The intention was to feed Edinburgh’s insatiable appetite for coal but today our own personal needs are much simpler because just a few yards from the canal’s towpath at Philpstoun is a converted cattle shed, the Park Bistro. We hoped it would satisfy our appetite for scones. For the many hundreds of people using the canal and the towpath The Park provides welcome respite from their exertions. Today, however, our exertions were pretty feeble since we arrived by car on our way home from Edinburgh.

Scooshie or whipped

Quite a while back we tried to get a scone here but they had just sold the last one so it was not to be. Today, however, there was no such problem … scones aplenty! When they arrived with our coffee we asked if there was any cream. The lady screwed her face up and said “only scooshie”. We screwed our faces up and said “no thanks”. However, just as we were about to cut into our first scone she suddenly reappeared placing a lovely bowl of whipped cream on our table … “stole it from the chef making a pavlova”! And, with a sly wink, she was off just as suddenly. Service, or what?

The coffee was good but the scones themselves were quite tricky to eat. They were so crumbly … much wiping and licking of fingers. Despite this we enjoyed our time at The Park … but not what we would describe as a topscone experience.

War of Devolution

Ajoining the café area is a wee room imaginatively called ‘The Wee Room’, which can be hired for private parties and in it hangs a tapestry showing Louis XIV defeating the Spanish near a canal in Bruges in the 1667 War of Devolution. Can’t think why it should be hanging here other than canals … oh, and devolution. A concept which seems in mortal danger these days given the Prime Minister’s attitude to Scotland and Brexit.

a tapestry at the Park Bistro, Linlithgow — Must have taken them ages to get ready for battle!

It’s a bit rich, when the Parliament in Edinburgh wants independence and almost every single Scottish MP at Westminster wants independence, for May to tell Sturgeon to ignore these ‘details’ and get on with the day job. Especially when May’s own domestic politics are in a much worse state than Scotland’s. Anyway, with the announcement yesterday of IndyRef2 we cannot expect the battle over the next few years to be conducted with anything like the aplomb of Louis XIV. It is going to be messy!

On a slightly different tack. These days most people would pay a premium to have a canal view but not so William Forbes of Callendar. When the Union Canal was being built he petitioned every MP at Westminster. He thought the canal might spoil the distant view from his mansion. The route was subsequently diverted through a half mile tunnel under Prospect Hill. It had to be hewn by hand from solid rock. Not a problem in those days when men were disposable. The great and the good will always look after each other. Looking at that tapestry again you kind of get the feeling they might take a break from battle for afternoon tea … and a scone!

EH49 6QY tel: 01506 846666 The Park

Scones, Uncategorized

The Coffee Club

12th February 2017 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Why do you think you would find yourself in Bathgate on a cold winters day? By accident, of course … why else would you be in Bathgate?

Linlithgow Palace across the loch — Linlithgow Palace and a scaupless loch

We had started off with a walk round Linlithgow loch hoping to catch sight of a scaup . Sometimes these relatively rare ducks make an appearance here. We did the first half of the walk with snow falling quite heavily and the second half in brilliant sunshine. Scottish weather at its very best! No scaups unfortunately but a really enjoyable walk.

Instead of going into Linlithgow for a coffee we thought we would visit a place called the Vu which involved a few miles of driving round the side of Cairnpapple Hill. We had been there a couple of years back and it was nice. Nowadays, however, it has turned into a wedding venue, no coffee, no scones, nothing. They told us to go another mile to Bathgate where there were lots of cafés and bars. Hence we found ourselves, by accident, in downtown Bathgate. Its a post-industrial town which is obviously still struggling with the effects of defunct coal mining. Also British Leyland’s demise in 1986 followed by Motorola’s closure in 2001 with the loss of over 3000 jobs.

In spite of the earlier claim there seemed to be almost no sconeries. This one, The Coffee Club, seemed to have little in the way of competition. The surroundings could only be described as ‘basic’ however we were warmly welcomed and you got the feeling that they would happily make you anything you wanted, even if it wasn’t on the menu. The Coffee Club, however, does not do local produce. Our scone appeared, ready sliced (what’s that all about), with English jam, Irish butter and a great dollop of scooshie cream from goodness knows where. In spite of all that the scone confounded our expectations by not being too bad, fairly light if a little short on fruit. I had seven sultanas in mine … okay,okay, I need to get a life! Topscone it was not but a commendable effort nevertheless.

The town nestles in the shadow of Cairnpapple Hill which, 5000 years ago, was home to the Beaker People. So called because of the shaped pots found in their graves. You cannot help but wonder what they would make of things if they were to make a return and gaze down on the world from their lofty hilltop. Obviously they would need an iPad or two to bring them up to speed but we think there would be some serious head scratching when they saw what supposedly educated people had made of things in the intervening five millennia.

Progress?

America tearing itself apart over Trump and religion. The EU (surely mankind’s greatest achievement in the last 100 years) tearing itself apart over populism. The UK tearing itself apart over Brexit. Perplexing, or what? But perhaps most astonishing of all for these wee Beakers would be to find that Scotland was being lorded over by a parliament five hundred miles away that doesn’t care a jot about it. As Lesley Riddoch puts it “if the UK Government can completely ignore Scottish democracy on a big issue like EU membership, does anyone seriously think Scottish interests will matter in any other policy decision reserved to Westminster?” ‘Reserved to Westminster’ means just about everything meaningful for Scotland … too much for even the most hard-nosed Beaker to stomach!

If a Beaker was to go into the Coffee Club they would probably think it hadn’t changed that much … joking. Many thanks to Bathgate and The Coffee Club for making us welcome.

EH48 1PD tel: 01506 656352 The Coffee Club FB

Memories

TV and all that

Dog biscuits

We’re doomed

Getting there

Sacre Blue

Sheep talk

Telephone cables

Wilting

Thunderbolts

Bizarre systems

Wringing hands

Good ideas

Knowing nods

The milky way

A definite lack of light

Publican’s daughters

Cheese and bacon

Liabilities

An Eagle In A Henhouse

Chaos

Disembodied heads

Automation

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

Civilizing scones

Muck meat

A quieter more peaceful world

Scooshie or whipped

War of Devolution

Progress?

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics