Tag Archives: Ackergill Tower

Fonab Castle (revisited)

As you are probably aware, we have long asserted that, in our humble opinion, the best scone in the world lives at Fonab Castle Hotel in Pitlochry. Since our first Fonab cream tea experience we have devoted much time and effort, not to mention expense, looking for a worthy challenger. However, in spite of all our testing at places as far apart as Ackergill Tower in Wick and Claridge’s in London, Fonab has managed to hold on to its position. It is  on the top tier of the cake stand as the topmost topscone.

However, it is now almost two years since we made that rather bold assertion. In our minds Fonab shone like a beacon in terms of ambience, presentation, service and quality. Okay it’s not the cheapest. It’s one of these “you know you’re worth it” places. But … perhaps, after such a long period of time, our combined memories were playing tricks on us? Something that, in our advancing years, is not only possible but highly likely! Maybe the scones would be awful and we would have to find a new benchmark …. aaarrgghh!

So it was with more than a little trepidation that we decided to return and reassess the Fonab scone. Luckily we could still remember the location of Pitlochry.

Winter view across Loch Faskally from Fonab Castle, Pitlochry
View across Loch Faskally towards Ben Vrackie from Fonab
Warm bowls

The trepidation was caused by fear of disappointment. What if there was a new chef with a different recipe. What if they were just different? Picture of a cream tea scone at Fonab Castle Hotel, PitlochryYou may remember that, on one visit, we actually asked the chef what his secret ingredient was for a good scone. The answer – “happiness in the kitchen!” Well, we need not have worried! This time around the service was impeccable, the ambience relaxing and comfortable, the views superb, the range of Scottish jams just brilliant, the coffee fantastic. And the scones were just perfect … warm and light as a feather. Not only were they presented in beautiful white linen napkins but even the serving bowls had been warmed. This is how scones should be treated!Picture of cream tea presentation at Fonab Castle Hotel, Pitlochry
So just to be clear. Let this be a clarion call to every posh hotel, coffee shop, tea house and greasy spoon we visit on our travels. When you see us coming this is what we expect if you are to have any chance of dislodging the Fonab scone from the pinnacle of sconiness. At just under £11 for a cream tea, it may be expensive but it is soooo worth it! Not only that but it turns out that the chef we spoke to about ingredients has long gone. And yet the scones were still delicious. There must be a lot of happiness in that kitchen!

Taking control

Such scrumptiousness lulls you into a warm sconey world where the trials and tribulations of a mad Trump/May/Putin world seem far far away. With the PM delivering a speech on Brexit yesterday that completely ignores the wishes of us folks north of the border, it also clarifies the situation. Scotland is going nowhere until it takes control of its own affairs. Oh dear, sconey world is so much nicer. … if only we could stay for ever?

PH16 5ND     tel: 01796 470140    Fonab Castle Hotel and Spa

Useful link: things to do in Pitlochry

A Ton Of Scones

Motorcyclists often refer to ‘doing a ton’, meaning 100mph, so this post is the scone equivalent. Not reviewing a particular scone but rather 100 scones; a ton of scones .. as a pie. Our last post from Liberty was our 100th so we thought it was time for some analysis. Bearing in mind our limited mathematical dexterity, 100 makes it easy to work out percentages. Our first post was Palmerston’s in Dunkeld almost exactly one year ago which works out at almost one scone every 4 days. How’s that for dedication, and amazingly, we are just as sylph-like as ever .. or at least Pat is.Pie chart illustrating anaysis of 100 scones

The Results:

  • 75% gained no accolade or categorisation other than they were just fairly ordinary or self service scones. That does not make them bad. In fact many of them were very good, but not good enough for an award. Notably the Biscuit and the Bingham Hotel just missed out on a topscone award.
     a sign at the Wee Blether, Kinlochard
    Wee Blether

    Annoyingly the Corinthian had superb scones but abysmal service, otherwise it would have had a topscone award. 1% of this category, the Buckhaven scone, wasn’t even a scone. Some, like the Wee Blether were just great fun.

  • 21% gained a topscone award. We think this is rather good but like the ordinary scones not all were equal. If we were to select our top three topscones it would be Fonab Castle, the Olympic Studios and the Dormy.
     a scone at Ardanaiseig Hotel
    Ardanaiseig

    The other 18 topscones were all excellent but not quite as good as these three. Some locations like Ackergill Tower and Ardanaiseig  were fabulous. Our most expensive scone was undoubtedly Claridges but what an experience!

  • 1% was classed as ‘foreign’. The Duke was based on information from our Iberian correspondent.
  • 2% was classed as ‘homemade’ … made by friends and not sold commercially. One, Dan’s was so good it got a topscone. The other was on Nicola Sturgeon making scones but we didn’t taste them so couldn’t give them an award, though we are sure they would have been first class.
  • 4% were classed as ‘weird’. This did not mean they were in any way bad. They were just weird. The ‘thunder and lightning’ scone at Mother Murphy’s was memorable as was the ‘bacon and cheese’ scone at Habitat.
  • 22% were self service scones. In itself this did not make them bad but none of them made topscone This was partly because it is about the whole experience and waiting in a queue is never as good as being waited on.
  • 8% were island scones … The Puffer on Easdale being the best.

    ERxternal view of the Puffer, Easdale
    The Puffer
  • 11% were English scones. Difficult to say if English scones are better than Scottish, they certainly have some odd ideas about the prioritisation of jam and cream. Might need further investigation.

A Dash of Politics: Our rants have probably got progressively more and more ranty as the year passed. Sincere apologies to all, but it makes us feel better!

Summary: All in all it has been a wonderfully enjoyable year. There are some places we won’t be rushing back to, either because they were too bad or too expensive. The vast majority, however, we would happily visit again .. which is great! _BIL4531Many thanks to our benefactors who have treated us to the odd scone here and there and thanks to our correspondents who have shared their scone stories with us. Thanks are also due to the places we have visited who, by and large, have enjoyed the reviews and given us lovely feedback. Will there be another ton? We shall see!

Ackergill Tower

The main purpose of this particular trip was to visit a part of the world that we do not actually know every well. However we felt we did. because of reading books by Neil Gunn. He was a local author, who wrote magnificently about the area in books like Highland River. My favourite, the Silver Darlings was about the once thriving herring fishing .. sadly now defunct. He was born and brought up in Dunbeath in Caithness and apart from occasionally passing through on our way round the north coast of Scotland we have never spent much time there.

Five stars

We decided to stay at Ackergill Tower just outside Wick. It’s about 15 miles south of John O’Groats, the most northeasterly tip of the UK. The area feels remote and definitely on a different planet from London and the south. Here the land and the weather can be hard but it has a real character and a charm all of its own. Ackergill04Ackergill Tower is a stunning castle built right on the water’s edge and at one time, probably round about the 15th century, its front door opened directly onto the sea so that the occupants could come and go without  enduring attack from the landward side. The Gunn and Keith clans fought over it for many years. Fascinating but dangerous times. Nowadays it has been taken over by AmaZing Venues who have spent a lot of money doing it up to five star standard. IMG_7689

We arrived early for registration. They asked if we would like to have tea and scones in one of the sitting rooms while we waited. No-brainer! A few moments later, however, we were informed that there were no scones but they would bake us some if we cared to wait about 20-30 minutes. No-brainer! We went for a walk.

Big pouffs

The weather could best be described as bracing. There were certainly no cobwebs left by the time we got back. Our tea and freshly baked scones were being served on what must be one of the biggest pouffs in the world. Was it worth the wait? Absolutely. IMG_7696Everything was perfect, the scones were sublime, the jam was fab, the cream was delicious, the setting and presentation faultless.

In these cosseted surroundings you could quite easily forget all about the outside world. It’s still there of course and what seems to be exercising some minds is our fondly held weapons of mass destruction. Farage seems so keen on them that you could be forgiven for thinking that he might actually use them just to solve his perceived immigration problem.

Make sure that as and when you find yourself with any such symptoms then you are the real hero for your female partner so you will have to care of her happiness and sorrows. cialis discount canada In TMC practice, the leaves of Horny Goat weed is rich in natural substances called flavonoids that affect multiple organ systems in the body. cialis österreich A Cheap Erectile Dysfunction Vacuum Therapy available in India is huge and valued at over 100Cr and not surprisingly upto 80% is bagged by sildenafil online purchase with Pfizer simply managing a meagre share. cialis is greatly useful for men suffering from erectile dysfunction and have small penis. An erection is a complex process between the brain and purchase cheap cialis http://djpaulkom.tv/6ix-commandments-chopped-up-tripped-out-skrewed-releases-on-itunes/ the male reproductive system.

The Great Hall
The Great Hall

 

Should that ever come to pass, of course, there would  be nowhere to emigrate to either .. think it through Nigel! The story goes that we need these weapons so that people will listen to us at the negotiating table. What if you just had the £300b we would have spent on them in your hip pocket. Would people listen then? What if you just put £300b in the bank. Think of the interest and what you could do with that!

Many years ago Ackergill Tower was designed to fend off unwelcome advances by men in kilts. Nowadays it looks as if it could fend off a nuclear attack just as well. If we said there was to be such an attack do you think they would let us stay. We want to stay!

KW1 4RG           tel: 0330 3337222             AmaZingvenues