The Village Café in Ceres

29th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

In 1068, Scotland’s only Royal Saint, Queen Margaret was fleeing to Europe to escape England’s William the Conquerer. She didn’t reckon, however, on her ship being blown off course and landing in Scotland. She probably didn’t reckon on marrying the King of Scotland, Malcolm Canmore, as a result. Having eight children by him, three of which became Kings probably didn’t enter her head either. Not many women give birth to a King, never mind three! But she did! Funny how life can be dictated by totally random events.

Pilgrimage

Margaret, was a good soul, however and, when she wasn’t propagating Kings, was concerned about the difficulties pilgrims encountered trying to get from Edinburgh to St Andrew’s Abbey. to be close to Andrew’s saintly bones.

Message card in Ceres — Notice in Ceres on the pilgrims way

She decided that there should be ferry service established across the river Forth to short circuit an otherwise long and tortuous journey of four to five days. It wouldn’t have entered her head that ten centuries later there would be a railway bridge and two road bridges in exactly the same spot as her ferry. The only thing missing nowadays is the pilgrims but back then they would have been extremely grateful to reach Ceres. The last stopover before the final seven miles to St Andrews itself where they could see the holy relics. There seems to bits of St Andrew scattered all over the world so he must have been a big guy and had twice as many bones as anyone else. We are here as well but at the Village Cafe in Ceres for the scones … a kind of pilgrimage!

Community in action

Actually, we just stopped off in the village because it’s rather beautiful and olde-worldy. Ceres (pronounced ‘series’) has a lovely village green and also hosts the oldest Highland games in Scotland. They’ve been held every year since 1314. When we came on the Village Cafe, of course, we had to visit. What a place! Tiny and nothing fancy but run entirely by the community. There were some very cheery ladies inside who welcomed us like long lost friends. A lovely day so we sat outside and watched the tractors going to and fro. Some of them are gigantic compared to the tractors we used to know as children.

Anyway we were soon sorted with a scone and some tea. All the while we could listen to the happy banter between the ladies and the locals going on inside. When we asked if one of them had baked the scones they said they hadn’t but offered to take us down the street and show us the house of the lady who had? It was that kind of place. We declined and concentrated on our scone. It would have been great if had been a topscone but sadly it just fell short. Never mind we thoroughly enjoyed our visit.

Money down the chute

Later, we were strolling round the village when we came on a wall with plants for sale at the Parish Church. There was a sign saying “Please place money in chute opposite“. Sure enough on the other side of the road there was a chute (a 4” drainage pipe) which dropped about 15 feet into a flower pot in the garden below. We bought a nepeta plant for 50p. Not because we wanted one, we just wanted to put some money going down the chute.

What’s in the news? Nothing … except vastly overpaid football pundits spouting complete nonsense about the England vs Germany game later today. All other news has been cancelled … it could make you weep!

Helpful hint

Did you know that if you place a cross in the shape of the St Andrews cross (that’s an X) on your fire surround it stops witches coming down your chimney? It’s okay, don’t mention it

KY15 5NA. tel: 01334 828560 Village Cafe FB

///graph.giggled.rally

ps The Pedant has been in Kineton in Warwickshire and sent this picture of a K6 telephone box. Unfortunately he couldn’t access the manufacturer’s plate on the back because of nettles. Goodness, you just can’t get correspondents prepared to go that extra mile these days!

Ordinary, Scones

Fernie Castle

26th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Fernie Castle has been around since the middle of the 14th century and has had a pretty chequered history through the years. In 1715 it was even forfeited for its support of Bonnie Prince Charlie in the Jacobite Rebellion. Since 1960, however, it has been a hotel and we’re here for afternoon tea.

First impressions are impressive. A beautiful building surrounded by acres of beautiful grounds. What’s not to like? Well, the owner for a start. In his tartan trews and coiffured accent he bore all the hallmarks of someone who could barely stand the fact that he had to admit riff riff like us into his stately abode. We had just come from another stay at Rufflets (the subject of a previous post) so we knew what a good hotel looks like. Fernie didn’t look like one! There were all sorts of things wrong … understaffed and just a bit grubby for starters. What would our afternoon tea be like?

Broken teeth

We didn’t have long to wait. It was plonked in front of us along with our tea and bubbles. The sandwiches were actually quite good but the scones tasted like they been freshly baked for the Bonnie Prince back in 1745. More akin to a museum exhibit rather than something we were supposed to eat. Between us we ate half of one scone and none of the rather sweaty looking cakes. In our time, as you know, we have eaten some pretty dodgy scones but these ones took the biscuit. We could have broken our teeth on them! This was as far away from a topscone as it’s possible to get.

Not a clue

Presumably all the original artworks had been sold off over time and they had been replaced with rather shoddy looking replacements. Everything just looked tired. As if it was being run by someone who had neither the money or the ability to run a successful hotel. Pity, because it’s a great place with loads of potential.

The Green Lady

No castle worth its salt would be without its own ghost and Fernie Castle is no exception. A young girl whose father disapproved of her lover saught refuge in the west tower. She fell from a top floor window to her death. Her ghost, known as the ‘Green Lady’ has been seen wandering through the bedrooms. We think, however, that she had just partaken of an afternoon tea and had simply lost the will to live.

an atmospheric bar at Fernie — The Keep Bar

The curse

In the nearby village of Letham there have been several sightings of a “big black cat”. Not your ordinary overfed domestic moggie but a full sized panther type creature. They are supposed to be lucky but in some parts of the world a black cat walking across in front of you is deemed unlucky. Never mind, you can reverse the curse. First walk in a circle, then walk backwards across the place it happened, count to 13 and chant a charm or line from the Bible. That should do the trick! See, you thought this blog was just about trivia and scones, you never realised it had useful stuff as well.

Curses curses!

Oh dear, our beloved Secretary of State for Health and Social Care (who would have his job), Matt Hancock, has fallen foul of that age old curse, the office romance. He’s a bit of an Adonis after all? And he seems to have fallen for millionaire mum, Gina Coladangelo thus displaying to same judgement he has exercised during COVID. His job might be on a shaky peg but Boris, given his record, would have a bit a nerve sacking someone for such a dalliance.

KY15 7RU. tel: 01337 810 381 Fernie

Scones, Top

Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop

16th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Many many months ago, the Laird got in touch to say that the Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop in the village of Kippen was worthy of investigation. Needless to say, COVID made that impossible until now. The Laird of course is the self-styled Laird of Dumyat (Dum-eye-at), a hill that provides an impressive backdrop to the City of Stirling. As it happens, self-styling in this neck of the woods is a tradition that goes back quite a long way.

Lost dinner

Back in the early 16th century King James V of Scotland (Mary Queen of Scots’ dad) was resident at Stirling Castle. When travelling outwith the castle he usually adopted the more low key guise of “The Guid Man o’ Ballengeich”. One day he dispatched a party of men to hunt for deer at Gartmore. On their return journey they were attacked and relieved of their venison by a band of men led by John Buchanan … the self-styled King of Kippen. When Buchanan was informed the venison was for the King, he said “He may be King of Scotland but I am King of Kippen“. When the men returned empty handed and told James the story he was not a happy bunny.

Lessons

He assembled some men and rode to Buchanan’s palace at Arnprior where he was refused entry. The guard saying that his master was at his dinner and was not to be disturbed. James replied, “Tell your master, the Guid Man o’ Ballengeich humbly requests an audience with the King of Kippen“. Buchanan guessed the identity of the Guid Man and received His Majesty appropriately. They became great friends and thereafter the King of Kippen was always welcomed as a brother sovereign at the Royal Court. We tell you this story because we think it may hold valuable lessons for the Vladimirs, Borises and Joes of this rather fractious world.

Anyway let’s get to the scones. Rhubarb Lime, run by Shona and Greg, is a small place but it packs a lot in. It must be a bit of a hub for the village. Besides being a cafe it also sells a good range of groceries and a great range of mostly Italian wines. My brother had joined us to experience at first hand his first real scone adventure. We decided to sit outside where we could witness village life as it happened. On the opposite side of the street was the butcher’s shop … appropriately named “Skinner of Kippen”. The service was very friendly and we were soon wonderfully sorted with some excellent lunch followed by plain scones … no fruit scones left!

Adventures

Shona had made them earlier in the day so suffice to say, the scones were excellent. The best we have tasted in a long time. Nicely presented with ample clotted cream and raspberry jam. They were just how we like them, lovely and soft with that slightly crunchy exterior. A very easy topscone. Before we left, Pat and I bought some wine. But my brother, still high on adrenalin from the adventure, lost all sense of self control and bought more than a dozen bottles of his favourite Primitivo.

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We were surprised to find such a good range of wine in a pretty wee village like this. But perhaps we shouldn’t have been? Back in 1891 a descendent of the King of Kippen planted a vine which ended up as the biggest in the world covering 460 m²and four large greenhouses. Unfortunately in 1964 it was cut down by yet another descendent so Greg has to source his wine directly from Italy. Apparently cuttings from the original vine (Gros Colman variety) are still flourishing in greenhouses all over the village and the surrounding area, so the old vine lives on.

Will Team Scotland live on in the European Football Championships? That’s the big question! So far they have maintained that age old tradition of losing magnificently … 2-0 against the Czech Republic. At the end of this week Scotland will be confronted by the old enemy, England. We don’t actually care who wins … and we wrote that with a straight face believe it or not? Okay, you don’t!

Traditions need to be maintained. Many thanks to the Laird, both Kings and Rhubarb Lime from the Lord and Lady of Scones!

FK8 3DN tel: 01786 870077 Rhubarb Lime

///brief.reader.blatantly

Ordinary, Scones

Fisher & Donaldson

11th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Have you heard of Jeddart Justice? Originating in the border town of Jedburgh it’s where someone is hanged first, and tried afterwards.

Pastries at Fisher & Donaldson — F&D pastries

Well apparently the good folk of Cupar in Fife once accidentally drowned a man who refused to leave his cell. Rather than cheat him out of a trial they put his body on the stand anyway. Don’t know if he was found guilty or not. We think Boris would love to dish out Jeddart Justice to a host of people but it would probably be frowned upon these days. Anyway, we are in Cupar today, not looking for justice of any kind … just a scone. Fisher & Donaldson seemed like a likely spot.

It’s that time of year! When driving up to Cupar the fields were as green as green could be … almost impossibly green. Apart, of course, from the rape fields which were solid swathes of that impossible chrome yellow. Everything looked wonderfully fresh and vibrant.

In case of confusion

The town of Cupar in Fife should not be confused with that well known song “The Wee Cooper of Fife”. Everyone knows the words.

There was a wee cooper who lived in Fife
Nickety, nockety, noo, noo, noo

At first this doesn’t seem to make any sense however everything becomes clear with the next few lines:

And he ha’ gotten a gentle wife
Hey Willie Wallacky, hey John Dougall
Alane quo rushety, roo, roo, roo.

No messing

Fisher & Donaldson are not exactly new kids on the block. Their bakery has been supplying the local area for over 100 years. It has a very traditional atmosphere and layout though the compartmentalised layout is mainly due to COVID restrictions. When we asked for scones the lady serving us, who had the demeanour of someone who had been closely related to the chap in the flooded cell, wasn’t sure if there were any left. After checking she said there were two, one cheese and one cherry. Fine that was all we wanted. When we asked for cream it prompted a very straight faced reply “No … we don’t do that sort of thing!” Okay, we were only asking!

When they arrived they actually looked rather promising. Pat’s cheese one was good and my cherry one was also very acceptable. All in all everything was fine but no topscones here today … not with that po faced attitude to an innocent cream request. We actually spoke to the lady when we were paying our bill and she turned out to be quite good fun. We must have just caught her in a moment when she was thinking of her drowning relative.

Hickory shafts

We used to go on holiday with the children to Hill of Tarvit in Cupar and had great fun. However, at that time I hadn’t realised that the local Kingarrock nine-hole golf course (founded in 1855) still used hickory shafted clubs. All my clubs have hickory shafts … that’s all there was available when I bought them? My golfing career was very short lived and although everyone laughed at my clubs I certainly could not blame them for my performances.

KY15 5JT tel: 01334 652551 Fisher and Donaldson

///fortnight.focal.neon

You will remember in our last post from Rufflets we visited our Bathurst correspondents family who lived nearby. Well simultaneously we received a note from our correspondents saying they had revisited the Cafe Zestt in Crookwell and were less than impressed … scone arrived 10 minutes after their coffee was finished … unforgivable! More interestingly perhaps they also visited the Scottish Arms Hotel in Bowral and as well as all the usual Scottish paraphanlia there was a K6 telephone box …. made in Falkirk. It had a sort of old-fashioned handset inside, possibly a direct line to Boris, or more likely Nicola. Don’t think Boris would have answered, he is totally preoccupied with sausage wars!

Birthday girl

Remember I had a birthday girl on my hands at Rufflets. Well that was a few days before her actual birthday. On the big day itself friends invited us round to their place for afternoon tea. What a fabulous afternoon that turned out to be.
We sat down in their garden at 2.30 and were still there at 8.30 … that’s how good it was. Home baked scones were the highlight though I was told in no uncertain terms that they were not to be critiqued under any circumstances. But they were definitely topscones so it’s impossible not to.

One of our granddaughters joined us for a time and just as she did so a tooth that had been threatening to come out for days, fell out. More business for the tooth fairy!She knows how to keep her granny happy though. Many thanks L&R for a fabulous afternoon … and evening!

Scones, Top

Rufflets

6th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Oh dear, what do you do when you have a birthday girl on your hands and you are in lockdown? You can’t go out to buy presents, in fact you can’t go anywhere! But, wait a sec! We can now travel to anywhere in Scotland … it’s official. Okay, they would rather you didn’t but I go back to my original quandary. Suffice to say we are here in St Andrews at Rufflets having done what seemed like a massive road trip to get here. We actually drove for more than an hour … first time in living memory! Okay that’s not that long given our combined memories general state of decrepitude. It did seem like a road trip though … quite thrilling! Anyway, we were having a few days roughing it here at Rufflets. Don’t worry it’s not actually that rough.

Jute

Rufflets was built in 1924 by a local jute baron. In fact, nearby Dundee was once the jute capital of the world. Nowadays most people have never heard of the stuff but back in the good old Empire days we pilfered loads of the stuff from impoverished Bangladeshis. Never mind, with a new Royal Yacht on order, Britain will surely rule the waves once again and go around the globe poking its nose in where it’s not wanted. Or maybe it’s just for Boris and his extensive family to go on holiday with the Rees Moggs? As long as the scones are as good as they were on Britannia we don’t mind,

Rejuvenation

When Rufflets was a private home it must have been magnificent in its ten acres of gardens but since 1952 it has been a hotel and run by the same family ever since.

Pat in the garden at Rufflets Hotel — She didn’t fall in

After all this time in lockdown you can’t beat a few days of pampering and wandering round these beautiful grounds to feel rejuvenated … like COVID had never actually happened. Having to wear a mask when moving around inside the hotel was the only reminder.

We spent a day going round St Andrews. It’s a lovely place but my goodness we hadn’t seen so many people in a long long time. It was busy, busy, busy! Scotland is now in Level One which means that things are almost back to normal but rules about masks and social distancing still apply. Overall, however, the atmosphere is much more relaxed than it’s been for a long time.

Rather than have a scone in town we headed back to Rufflets to see what their scones were like. And, of course, you would also like to know as well, wouldn’t you!

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At last, Scottish jam

When the weather is like it is, where better to do some intensive sconology but on the Rufflets terrace. Unsurprisingly perhaps the service was impeccable. We didn’t think it appropriate to ask for cream and sure enough the scones arrived with everything a discerning sconologist would expect. Starched and ironed linen napkins, a bowl of clotted cream and Galloway Lodge jam from Gatehouse-of-Fleet. What’s not to like?The scones themselves were crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle, just the way we like them. Again, unsurprisingly we gave them a topscone.

Sitting here eating beautiful scones in the beautiful sunshine on a beautiful terrace in a beautiful garden with a beautiful girl, one felt slightly detached from the real world. It’s okay now though … we’re back!

KY16 9TX tel: 01334 472594 Rufflets Hotel

///earth.agreement.trappings

PS: You all know our Australian Bathurst correspondents by now. Together with the New South Welshman they have kept us abreast of sconological events down under for the past couple of years. When it has been difficult to go on scone adventures in the UK they have provided us with invaluable additional posts. However, you probably don’t know that part of their family lives here in Scotland.

The past couple of years have been particularly difficult for them since they have been unable to visit their grandchildren due to COVID. Their daughter lives only a mile or so away from Rufflets with her husband and two daughters. We hadn’t met them before but decided to just barge in and introduce ourselves. What an absolute pleasure that turned out to be! They are the warmest kindest people … obviously something to do with the stock they come from! I even had my first post-lockdown pint of Guinness in the Tavern at Strathkinness (pronounced Strathkinis I was reliably informed by a chap at the bar).

Wishful thinking

Anyway our stay at Rufflets has come to an end. We have emerged back into the real world to find that the G7 have found a way to get large multinationals to pay their fair share of tax. After years of saying its couldn’t be done it only took a couple of hours over dinner to get it sorted. Brilliant, maybe if the G7 had a scone on the terrace here at Rufflets they could sort out a whole lot more pressing global problems?

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: June 2021