The Corner Café

28th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

You just can’t turn your back for a minute. We go down to London for a few days and come home to find a brand new café has popped up in the middle of town. Back in February we reviewed the Larder café which was a reincarnation of a previous one called Food Heaven. Both were pretty awful. Indeed this site seems to have been blighted by failed businesses over the years. Perhaps its because there is a big glossy Costa directly opposite. Maybe it’s the crowded market but mostly we feel it has been down to shoddy management. We said we would let you know how the Larder got on. Well it only lasted a few months after our review. That wasn’t the cause of its demise but probably didn’t help either.

Anyway, it’s now called the Corner Café and at long last it seems to have management that knows what it is doing. Young buck, Andrew, heads up a team that has gone right back to basics. Previously everything was bought in from a large cash and carry warehouse in Glasgow but now it’s all prepared fresh on site, scones included. Obviously, we had to visit.

Hints of chocolate

The place has a clean fresh look and we were made to feel very welcome by the staff even though it was almost closing time when we got there. The menu is relatively small but big enough to have something to please everyone. We were particularly pleased to see that their coffee was from Henry’s Coffee Company. Not the Cat’s Pyjamas, but a blend made exclusively for the Corner by Henry’s.

They were sold out of fruit scones but the lady looking after us made a quick dash to the kitchen to see if there were any there, Sadly no, so one of the last remaining plain scones it was. It came with strawberry jam and cream in lovely little ceramic containers … nice touch. The scone itself was very good and their special coffee was deliciously smooth with subtle hints of chocolate, excellent. After some deliberation we felt that a topscone award was thoroughly deserved.

The Corner hasn’t even been open two weeks so we wish them the very best of luck for the future, hopefully they break the curse that seems to bedevil this site .. and we are not alone

Good luck cards at the Corner Café, Falkirk — Good luck cards from wellwishers

Tug-of-war

Everyone is fed up to back teeth of Brexit. If it inadvertently brought about a united Ireland and an independent Scotland it might have all been worth it … but otherwise?? The main news this week is that Meghan Markle, Countess of a big chunk of England somewhere, closed her own car door. This was her first solo engagement and according to the media, with this one simple act she demonstrated how ordinary and down to earth the Royal Family really are. She has been showered with congratulations.

The other big congratulatory news was from South Africa. In the World Tug-of-War Championships in Cape Town, Ayrshire Ladies won gold in the 500kg competition. You are hearing it here because Pat and I used to be heavily involved in tug-of-war. And because you won’t hear it anywhere else. If you can do a good hop skip and jump you are lauded to the heavens by the media. You might even get a knighthood but in a serious sport like tug-of-war, not a dickie bird! Anyway, good luck to Andrew and his team, we are in your Corner … sorry!

FK1 1LZ. tel: 01324 410949 The Corner Café FB

english, Ordinary, Scones

John Forrest Bakery

Video 25th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

When we write about places like Claridges, the Connaught and even the Bingham Hotel in Richmond, readers could be forgiven for thinking that we only frequent the well-to-do areas of London. Only mix with the upper crust! Well, you would not be far wrong. The thing is though, it just sort of works out that way … honest! We don’t seek these places out! After our sojourn the other day to the Tide Tables Cafe in wealthy Richmond, today we find ourselves in the Kings Road in Chelsea. Home of Sloane Rangers and Hooray Henrys, but not by choice … we are here on an important errand to fix an incapacitated handbag. It just so happens that the Handbag Clinic is here on the Kings Road. Yes, they do have clinics for handbags, however, the less you know about that the better.

Supercars

Famous for its Chelsea buns, the important thing was to check out a Chelsea scone and fill that gap in our collective sconological knowledge base. This part of London offers you the opportunity to pay ten times what you would pay anywhere else on just about anything. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration … but only slight. The streets are lined with super cars … McLarens, Ferraris, Maseratis. The sort of cars that, if we were to sell our house and our children, we would still not be able to afford. Sorry kids if you are reading this, it is just a turn of phrase, it does not mean that you are not worth much. It just means that if you were worth more we might get a supercar … okay!!

It’s ironic that these cars, capable of 200mph, would throw a major party if, by some miracle, they ever got to reach 30mph in London. For most of them, that’s a rather forlorn ambition. Some of them are painted matt black like stealth bombers. Initially we thought this might be to make them invisible to traffic wardens. However then we remembered that the owners of these cars would not be the slightest bit bothered with a hundred parking tickets. So, in a way, the paint finish doesn’t matter … except to look a bit pretentious, of course, and make it difficult for the butler to polish. Golly gosh, what a laugh that would be!

The holy hour

Okay, for those of you thinking that finding a scone in such surroundings should be a piece of cake … not so! It was after 2pm but everywhere we went we were refused. Scones only served between three and five … what? We knew the world had gone mad but this surely is the last straw!

However, there is something oddly right about this. Any other food item you could have any old time of the day but scones, as befits their status of course, only in this blessed two hour window. The conversation goes something like this: Me “may I have a scone please?” Waiter “Is it three o’clock, sir?” Me: “no, it’s half past two”. Waiter: “Yes sir you may have a scone but you will have to wait half an hour.” Absolutely no use to us though because we had yet another even more important errand than rescuing an ailing handbag to run. We simply could not hang around until the holy hour when scones would appear, presumably, as if by magic.

Now, readers should know by now that we are not ones for giving up. However, just as we were about to do just that, we stumbled on the John Forrest Bakery. It had scones that could be bought any time of the day or night, yeagh! It wasn’t ideal though … no seats inside and the few they had outside were all taken.

Not to worry, they provided us with two teas in polystyrene cups, a ham & cheese roll … and a scone in a white paper bag … all for £5.10. We take back our previous comment about everything being ludicrously expensive. We then slunk off up a nearby alleyway looking for somewhere to sit and eat. Fortunately it led to an enclosed area surrounded by rather utilitarian looking apartment blocks. The hidden side of Chelsea where real people live. In the middle was a kiddie’s play park with a couple of wooden benches. And we had it all to ourselves. It was wonderfully quiet after the hustle and bustle going on only a few yards away.

Trials and tribulations

The scone, which the John Forrest folks had kindly buttered for us had loads of fruit but it wasn’t the best by a long chalk. At least it served to illustrate the trials and tribulations we endure in order to bring our sconey readers news from the UK’s nether regions. Actually, as we sat there on our park bench with our strong tea and very fruity scone, we did not feel trialed or tribulated at all. We did, in fact, feel rather blessed with the whole experience. Without it we would never have discovered this quiet little sanctuary.

Sanctuary is what Theresa May needs as forces range against her from all sides. And she demands that the EU treats the UK with respect. She wants respect from the club we are leaving presumably because we think it’s crap! In the circumstances, we think the EU has been extremely respectful. Meanwhile, no one in government has a clue what is going on. The opposition is worse than useless. As a result the entire country is paralysed in a kind of collective nervous breakdown. What fun!

Picture this

If we had to choose a picture to depict Britain’s current state of mental health there would be only one contender, Edvard Munch’s, The Scream. Even inanimate objects are having issues because the Handbag Clinic was doing a roaring trade. However, what will Brexit mean for handbag clinics?

SW10 0LR tel: 020 7352 5848 John Forrest Bakery FB

ps: we did see a couple of K2 telephone boxes but were unable to photograph them.

english, Ordinary, Scones

Tide Tables Cafe

21st September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Have you have ever wondered how many Richmonds there are in the world? No?? Well, there are 56, so if anyone asks, now you know! In 2009 Richmond was voted best town in the UK but that was the one in North Yorkshire. The one we are in today, however, would probably be voted the wealthiest.

A glance in an estate agent’s window will provide you with several opportunities to rent a house for £30,000 a month … a month!! And if you get fed up sitting in your expensive house you can catch a ferry from here to Ham House or Hampton Court Palace and look at places that even you can’t afford. The town is also in an excellent state of repair. The 21,000 good people of Richmond just read about things like potholes if they unwittingly pick up a provincial newspaper. Potholes are not something they would ever have to actually experience for themselves.

View along river Thames at Richmond — Looking along the riverside from Tide Tables

Historically the town used to be called Sheen. It was here that the Commissioners of Scotland had to kneel before Edward I after William Wallace was executed in 1305. So how did it end up becoming yet another, common as muck, Richmond? Well, in 1501, when Henry VII built his new residence here, he called it Richmond Palace after his ancestral home, Richmond Castle, in ‘town of the year’ Richmond in North Yorkshire. After all, if you have a lot of castles, you cannot be expected to sit around all day dreaming up new names for all of them. Sheen Palace would have had a certain ‘gloss’ to it though! Anyway, the town that grew up here around Richmond Palace ended up adopting its name.

Lycra land

Having said that, it isn’t hard to see what attracted folk here in the first place. Set on a meander in the Thames, its a lovely place to stroll around if you have absolutely nothing better to do. Of course, that’s where we come in …itinerant scone munching vagrants. The riverside is particularly nice, it is always busy with cyclists and walkers. Down here you cannot simply put bicycle clips round your trousers and head off blithely on your bike. No, no, no, you have to be fully rigged out, top to tail, in multicoloured lycra so that you look exactly like a competitor in the Tour de France, even though you are only going to pick up a pint of milk. This rules applies no matter your body shape, giving rise to the acronym MAMILs … Middle Aged Man In Lycra.

You also need all the technology. A phone with a head set so that you can dictate notes for tomorrow’s meetings or chat to your auntie Jeanie while you pedal. The obligatory Fitbit is also required so that you can chart your progress to eternal life and body beautiful. The walkers aren’t much better! As befits a place where the people have oodles of choice, Tide Tables is a hip veggie and vegan café. It occupies an arch under Richmond bridge next to a boat builder but it also has a lovely outdoor seating area under giant plane trees. We were able to sit in the dappled sunlight and watch the riverside bustle while we ate our scones. If you can’t afford all that lycra you have no choice but to sit and watch?

Being alive

On a slightly different tack. You know how we are always bleating on about places that serve butter and cream from England when we are in Scotland, well down here the butter was from France … mon dieu! Mon dieu, as well for the cream, it was very strange, hard and crumbly. Probably because it had never been within a country mile of a cow. The scone itself was quite big and although it had a fair amount of fruit it just tasted okay. Nothing to write home about. So why are you wasting our time we hear you cry! Okay it wasn’t a topscone but the overall experience of sitting by the river in the sunshine watching everyone else putting so much effort into being alive was wonderfully relaxing. So we can, at least, recommend that.

Back to front

Sitting here you could possible believe that all was well in the world. Then you remember Brexit! Just why Michel Barnier doesn’t say to Theresa May ” look, the UK has always been a miserable grudging and small minded member of the EU … just close the door on the way out” is beyond us. Instead we have to listen to Theresa May saying that the EU must compromise if they want us to leave … eh, think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick, Theresa!

Extradition

And where is David Cameron who got us into this mess in the first place. Playing so fast and loose with the future of the country should be some sort of criminal offence. Presumably, therefore, he is somewhere like North Korea that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the UK. More likely, however, that he is holed up somewhere in deepest Richmond.

TW9 1TH. tel: 020 8948 8285 Tide Tables Café

Scones, Top

Applejacks

12th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander.

In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.

Misdemeanours

Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. Since they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note! It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!

Too and fro

In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest. Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.

Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. A few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.

Criticising the government

Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.

Foundations

Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.

Customer distribution map of the world at Applejacks, Callander — a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers

However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Applejacks FB

ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.and some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all

Scones, Top

Mackintosh at the Willow

8th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Apologies, some readers found the last post recounting the unfortunate fate of Janet Cornfoot somewhat harrowing. To make amends this post will hopefully provide something of an antidote. Less witches, something a bit more suitable for polite discourse over a scone.

Three years ago we were in the Willow Tearooms and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, that was in Glasgow’s Buchanan Street. There’s another one in Hope Street. However, today we are in the very original tearoom set up by Cate Cranston in 1903 in Sauchiehall Street. It takes its name from the street, ‘sauchie’ meaning willow. Cate was a little eccentric and quite a character so it is perhaps not all together surprising that she hired the local up and coming architect, Charles Rennie Mackintosh to design everything. Right down to the cutlery and the serving staff’s uniforms.

Mackintosh, of course, went on to become internationally famous for his individual work and as one of the founders of the Glasgow Style. It’s ironic and very sad that from here you can actually see the remains of one of his masterpieces, the Glasgow School of Art. It went up in flames just a few weeks ago.

Genteel

From the moment you enter Mackintosh at the Willow however there is no mistaking who designed it. It’s a kind of immersive experience and one that makes you proud to be Scottish and lucky to have Glasgow as the country’s biggest city. Following its £10m refurb however it is more of a tearoom complex. 200 covers, split across four tea rooms and featuring a Visitor Centre and a dedicated Learning & Education suite for schools …. wow! Once again we were late in the day but warmly welcomed nevertheless. ‘Genteel’ is definitely order of the day and we can do genteel. Okay it requires a bit of effort but we can do it!

Every table is equipped with a hand bell with which to summon a maiden. That’s what the waitresses in the original tearoom were known as. To us, using it would have felt ostentatious and embarrassing, but some people were dinging away merrily. Probably foreigners, you know what they are like! They have an excellent menu for lunch but, predictably perhaps, we just wanted a scone … boring! Our ‘maiden’ was delightful and soon had us sorted. The scone was much bigger than we had expected but everything was presented on white tablecloths and beautiful willow pattern crockery.

As you know, we like local produce and would have thought that such a place as this would have had its own ‘Mackintosh at the Willow’ brand jam. However, Mrs Bridges of Arbroath, is not too too unlocal, if you see what we mean. In spite of its size the scone was delicious. When combined with jam and clotted cream made for an overall first class experience.

Later, we found out that this place was not actually officially open for business. It had been operating for the past few weeks in an attempt to iron out any wrinkles and train the staff who all come via the Princes Trust. They seem to have done a pretty thorough job because we did not experience any problems. Didn’t even have to use the bell once!

Madness

If you are reading this today, 8th September 2018, the official opening by the Duke of Rothesay and the Duchess of Cornwall is actually happening as you read. We wish the whole bold and inspiring venture the very best of luck for the future … Cate and Charles would have been proud that the Willow Tea Rooms Trust has resurrected this institution so magnificently for the benefit of generations to come … well done them! The madness of Brexit and Trump seems far far away when you are in Mackintosh at the Willow … mission accomplished!

Interior view at Mackintosh at the Willow, Glasgow — upstairs

G2 3EX tel: 0141 204 1903 Macintosh at the Willow

Ordinary, Scones

The Clock Tower Café

4th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

Here we are back in Pittenweem. The Pop-up Café we reviewed at the beginning of August during the week-long Pittenweem Arts Festival has disappeared. Doubtless to reappear next year at the same time. However, you don’t need an arts festival as an excuse to visit this little seaside village. It’s great to visit anytime and this time we are in the Clock Tower Café. When you look at the multitude of picturesque little lanes and wynds you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing much, other than some fishing and the odd arts festival, has ever happened here. Looks can be deceiving however. ‘Twas not always thus! The Clock Tower, which takes

External view at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — The Tolbooth from the Clock Tower Café

its name from the nearby Tolbooth, can give an insight into livelier, if more disturbing, times.

In 1705, Patrick Morton, son of a local blacksmith, made a series of witchcraft accusations against some of his neighbours which resulted in them all being unquestioningly incarcerated in pitch black dungeons underneath the Tolbooth, part of the Parish Church.

No luck

Some starved to death but one, Janet Cornfoot, managed to escape. She got about ten miles to the village of Leuchers where she sought help from the local minister, George Gordon. He was more interested in the reward for her recapture, however, so she was promptly returned to Pittenweem. No luck!

There, a mob tied her up, beat her severely, and dragged her by the ankles down to the harbour where she was dangled upside down from the masthead of one of the boats. People then threw rocks at her as she swung to and fro. Still no luck! Eventually she was taken down and a door placed on top of her which was then laden with heavy rocks to crush her. Finally, a horse and cart was driven over her before she was thrown in an unmarked grave having been refused a Christian burial. Oh Janet, if it wasn’t for bad luck! In the end, Morton, who made the original accusations, proved to be a thoroughly untrustworthy liar. However no action was ever taken against him or any of the mob.

Church of Scotland

When we recoil in disgust at some of the barbarous acts beamed into our living rooms from around the Middle East in the name of religion, it is perhaps salutary to bear in mind that, not that long ago, the Church in Scotland was behaving in an equally barbaric fashion. Thank goodness it is slightly more enlightened nowadays.
Anyway, even though Janet Cornfoot was undoubtedly dragged down the High Street past this place on her way to the harbour we did not let that put us off. No, no, no, the Clock Tower had scones, so in we went with barely a passing thought for poor Janet. There’s a few tables in the front part of the café but we went through to an area at the rear where there were plenty more. The staff were lovely. They quickly had us sorted with a light lunch and a scone to share.

There was lots going on with people coming and going all the time and exchanging banter. It had a nice friendly atmosphere. The scone was a slightly odd shape but good nevertheless … no topscone but good. Pittenweem is fortunate to have many good cafés.

Janet and Donald

Back then, however, Janet Cornfoot needn’t have turned to Donald Trump for sympathy or understanding. We are not huge John McCain fans, he was a bit of a warmonger, but he did spend more than five years as a POW in Vietnam and that must have been tough. So when Trump said “he’s not a war hero, he was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” presumably he wouldn’t have got on well with Janet. Probably would have been part of the mob. That figures, doesn’t it?

View at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — one of the many tiny lanes

Extraordinary achievments

Recently the SNP became the second largest political party in the UK, overtaking the Conservatives. An extraordinary achievement when you consider they represent only 8% of the UK population. Also, at a time when the UK needs a strong opposition like never before, the Labour Party, by far the biggest party in the UK, manages to render itself worse than useless over a mere form of words. An extraordinary achievement. As a result the third largest party in the UK remains all powerful. While simultaneously making a complete mess of things. Also an extraordinary achievement. If our Janet had a grave she would be spinning.

KY10 2LA tel: 01333 313111 Clock Tower Café TA

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: September 2018