September 2022 - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Everyone should have a river running through their garden, don’t you think? The Duke of Atholl has 145,000 acres so he probably has several. To join the aristocracy you need do nothing more than be in the right place at the right time, then monarchy can shower you with all sorts of gifts … like large parts of Scotland. Mind you the 1st Duke of Atholl seems to have been a sensible sort of chap. He opposed the Act of Union in 1707 and, for daring to have an opinion, was promptly placed under house arrest. However, if you are going to be placed under house arrest there are definately worse places than Blair Castle … it’s more “castle arrest’ really.

ballroom at Blair Castle — The ballroom … everyone should have at least one of these

Much has happened since our previous post from Hickety Pickety Tearoom. Most momentous was the Queen’s death. She did a great job of bring up a family and saying absolutely nothing while under the microscope of the world’s media. And it was fitting that she died at Balmoral, where she was actually happy.

Intimidation

a corridor at Blair Castle — An antler corridor

Her funeral went on interminably. Even the food banks had to close. If the principal aim of monarchy is to intimidate then this certainly worked. The greatest display of white male privilege ever witnessed by mankind. There wasn’t a single world leader there who thought that they were going to get anything remotely like this as a send off. Britain does it again with an incredible show of nonsensical pomp. But who, in this day and age are we trying to intimidate?

Will we, won’t we?

With King Charles III ascending the throne surely now is the time for countries like Canada and Australia to realise that they need one of their own to be Head of State. Okay, Canada likes monarchy to differentiate it from their rather common cousins to the south, but still, your all grown up now, Perhaps, like Denmark has just done, all Royal children should be stripped off their titles so that they can actually lead normal lives like the rest of us? However, the big question is, will Scotland give the Stone of Destiny back so that Charles can be crowned? Maybe not a BIG question but a question nevertheless.

drawing room at Blair Castle — a drawing room

Goodness, you can’t turn your back for a minute, we have a new government as well. Not so much a ‘new’ government, just a continuation of the old one but worse. Don’t think anyone thought that was even possible! Liz Truss, thrashing around, making it up as she goes along, hoping she can last to the next General Election and plunging the country into its worst economic crisis for almost fifty years. Brilliant! Bring back Boris …. joke!

Private army

painting at Blair Castle — This is how I feel after a good scone.

But enough of this nonsense, did they have scones at Blair Castle? Well, yes they did! We are actually taking part in our first ever coach trip . woohoo with the Falkirk Local History Society and this was our first stop before heading further north. Going round the castle is a bit like being in IKEA … it’s a one way system. And just as well. It would be very easy to get lost otherwise. The current Duke of Atholl got fed up getting lost so he now lives in South Africa. He still has his own private army here in Scotland … the Atholl Highlanders … isn’t it great!

Locusts

There was also the alternative of going round the rather splendiferous gardens. The Hercules Garden is lovely … everyone should have one of these as well, but we concentrated on the castle. At the end we all met up again and descends on the restaurant like the proverbial locusts. Scones were laid out on tiered plates for all …. yeah! You can probably imagine that the sudden influx of more than fifty people at one time might create a few problems … and it did. Nothing too serious though and we were all soon kitted out with everything we needed. They were very fresh and crumbly and although we did swither on topscone status, they eventually just missed the cut. A good time was had by all so what does it matter? Definitely worth a visit … especially if you want to see all the things you don’t have

entrance hall at Blair Castle — Aristocracy is also all about intimidation of lesser mortals so this entrance hall may have been a reminder to guests that they had better behave.

PH18 5TL. tel: 01796 481207 Blair Castle

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You know how sometimes you go into a restaurant and the staff can be downright indifferent. We tend to judge places on the attitude staff have towards their customers. Who see customers as their raison d’être rather than some dastardly inconvenience. So, having said all that, when we entered the Hickety Pickety Tearoom we were immediately greeted with a huge hug and a kiss from one of the waitresses. Okay, we knew her. She’s a kind of honorary daughter. We used to worry that her car seat was too big when she came to stay with her sister during the school holidays. Then we’d worry it was too small and now she doesn’t need a car seat at all. She’s at university and driving her own car. Goodness, how did that happen?

Internal view of Hickety Pickety Tearoom — Downstairs

Head in the clouds

We had heard that she was working here so we thought we should pay a visit. Hickety Pickety is a wonderful place situated on a farm not too far from Lanark. Although not far from Falkirk it’s a strangely unknown part of the world for us. It’s about a mile from the village of Forth whose main claim to fame is that Scotland’s tallest man (7 foot 3 inches) came from there. It’s also 1000 feet above sea level so he could well have had his head in the clouds.

What’s in a name?

Why is it called Hickety Pickety, we hear you ask! Well it comes from a well known nursery rhyme.

Poem of Hickety Pickety Tearoom — Some say that the rhyme was originally about a lady of ill repute so we’ll say no more

It was busy so we were shown to a table upstairs. Not one of our ‘daughters’ table but that wasn’t a problem, all the serving staff were really nice. They have to be extremely fit because they are up and down these stairs all day like the proverbial yo-yos. We ordered some lunch and when we asked what kind of scones they had were told “plain or pear and ginger“. It had to done – a pear and ginger scone to share. Turns out that they do a lot of pretty adventurous scone baking so we may have to return to see what else they come up with.

When it arrived, however, it did not look too promising. It came with butter, jam and the ubiquitous Rodda’s clotted cream. Nothing against it per se but why get it from a Dutch owned company in Cornwall when there’s plenty of good Scottish cream. You all know by now that we like a slight crunchiness to our scones but this one was incredibly soft all over. Thankfully it was absolutely delicious. The pear flavour was quite distinct and the ginger gave it a soupçon of spiciness. So soft it was difficult to keep it together … topweirdscone, no problem. Thoroughly recommend this place but be warned, not everyone gets hugs and kisses.

In the toilets at Hickety Pickety Tearoom

Revolting

We’ve kind of lost count of the number of Tory Prime Ministers we’ve had over the past few years. Deluded as ever about his own importance, Boris failed to recognise that he won a huge majority, not because of anything he did but because there was no opposition worth voting for. He was at Balmoral today to hand in his resignation to a relieved Queen.

New girl, the ever so slightly mad, Liz Truss, was there as well to take on the mantle of government. Given that the role of most governments is simply to give the people just enough to keep them from revolting, Liz is going to have to pull some rabbits out of the hat if she wants to stop that happening. At the moment, there’s a lot of extremely unhappy people around. She says “What you see is what you get“. Well, that’s a pity! Luckily, like Boris, she has no opposition to speak of. If she wants she can wreak whatever havoc she wants on the country. It’s just our daughters and honorary daughters that will have to sort it all out.

ML11 8NZ tel: 01555 871486 Hickety Pickety FB

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Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: September 2022

Blair Castle