Café des Fleurs

31st July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Well, well, well! In the miniscule amount of time since our previous post at Mill House, Monzie we have chucked one Prime Minister on the scrap heap and replaced her with another … wow, such efficiency! It has to be said that the UK has a brilliant system whereby a mere handful of over-privileged, geriatric, tax dodging idiots are allowed to appoint the leader of the country. It’s amazing really but not unique … Russia and China have similar arrangements. Anyway the Trump clone that is Boris Johnston has so far refused to meet anyone in the EU … gosh, isn’t he a tough cookie? However, on Monday he did meet with Nicola Sturgeon at Bute House in Edinburgh. You shouldn’t read too much into the fact that he had to leave by the back door … no, you shouldn’t, really you shouldn’t!

Day trip

Anyway, gripped as we were by Boris’s promise of a gazillion £s for Falkirk, today, to temper our excitement, we decided to get out of town and go for a drive along the Hillfoots. Turned out that our target scone cafe was closed so we had to carry on into the pretty little town of Dollar. It’s the sort of town that probably harbours some of the idiots who voted for our new leader. Though to be fair, these idiots were being asked to choose between two other idiots … tricky! But never mind all that, here we found the delightful Café des Fleurs, They only had a couple of outside tables, all taken, however it was no hardship and a bit cooler to sit inside.

Cream disasters

They advertise their scones as being ‘famous’ so obviously we had to determine whether this claim was justified or not. They had plain, fruit or blueberry and white chocolate scones. Pat had fruit and, of course, I had to try the blueberry and white chocolate. Service was very friendly and efficient so it wasn’t long before we were all kitted out. Sacre bleu, mon dieu, it’s Rodda’s Cornish Cream again. I know we go on about it but why oh why do they do that when much better stuff is available locally? All in all we enjoyed Café des Fleurs. Pat thought her scone wasn’t quite top but mine, apart from the cream was excellent … topweirdscone. As for them being ‘famous’, well I guess they are a bit more now.

Queenie and Bojo

The cafe was nicely decorated with a kind of shabby-chic look. One of the pictures was a bit puzzling though. “Queenie says: coffee – the favourite drink of the civilised” followed by “Give us a kiss”. We could argue that it’s tea that’s the favourite of the civilised however maybe that would be splitting hairs. If Queenie wants a kiss, however, she is going to have to wait a while … a long while! Bojo on the other hand would gladly give her a kiss, so desperate is he to please anyone he meets. You do wonder if the UK would ever have found itself in this ludicrous situation over Brexit and now with an equally ludicrous PM if we had had an opposition party worthy of the name. One can only wonder!

FK14 7DE tel: 01259 743699 Cafe des Fleurs

///named.serious.shakes

ps Our intrepid Trossachs correspondents have just sent us photos of some telephone boxes up north. The first picture is of a fine array of K6s at Fort George, just east of Inverness. Bojo may be promising lots of money for Falkirk however it looks like Fort George will have more K6s than our home town. Falkirk is undergoing a programme of K6 removals, even though many were actually made there. First M&S deserted the town now our telephone boxes are going as well. What next? On the upside, if the money promised to the town ever appears, we will doubtless have Kelpies and Wheels all over the place.

The second K6 is from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. It was at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore. It even had the old mechanism with the A and B buttons. More than that it had a long set on instructions on how to make a telephone call. Also an advert for a brand new way to send greetings oversees … the new ‘De Luxe’ Telegram Service…. nostalgia!

Many thanks once again to our correspondents.

Scones, Top

Mill House Pop Up Coffee Shop

19th July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 13 Comments

It was a surprise when our correspondent, the Pedant, reported the existence of a café in the tiny hamlet of Monzie. It’s not so much that Monzie is isolated, it’s just a few miles from Crieff after all. It’s just that it’s on a very minor road that hardly anyone uses. If you were to be run down on this road it would most likely be by a farmer on a tractor or a speeding quad bike.

Happy days

On the other hand, I know it extremely well. As a young lad, my brother and I, came to our aunt and uncle’s house in the summer and it was just a few hundred yards from here. Looking back these were idyllic days. This piece of country was our adventure playground. No water in the house … we had to collect it every day from a spring, however, I don’t remember anything remotely resembling hardship. And the sun shone every day! On reflection, of course, it couldn’t have been easy for my aunt and uncle without all the modern day paraphernalia we now take for granted but they always seemed extremely happy with their lot. Of course, maybe they were just happy when I was there?

Green machine

My aunt had magical powers. She employed them when she made banana flip. A seemingly ordinary dish consisting of custard and, you guessed it, bananas. No one else, however, came within a million miles of making it the way she did. My uncle was a jolly round man and, for me, a kind of superhero. Not only could he play any instrument he picked up, be it a trombone or an accordion, he drove a road roller. He was employed by the local Council. Not only that, he was allowed to take it home at night. This huge lumbering green machine sat there outside the house as an object of complete wonderment to a wee boy. A big rearing horse badge on the front … like a ferrari but much better!

Laying claim

Anyway, it turns out that the Mill House at Monzie is now run as a boutique B &B. When it has gaps in it’s B&B calendar they do this pop up café so it’s only open now and then. But would a café in such a quiet spot be successful? It was crying out for further investigation. We arrived on a beautiful sunny day to find that we were the only ones there. The café itself is well appointed and it had a range of fantastic looking gateaux … and scones. The delightful young chap who looked after us said that he could not lay claim to the cakes but he could with the scones. He had baked them earlier. So far so good!

All the scones were plain so we had one each. They came with loads of butter, jam and cream. All the jams were home made. The coffee and tea was excellent as well. It all looked very promising. We really hope that this pop up is successful because they obviously put a lot into it and everything we had was fantastic. The gateaux were to die for and scones were top. Well done Monzie! And when we were leaving others were arriving, hurragh!

Diary dates

If you want to visit this beautiful peaceful part of the country and support this venture, here are the dates it will be operating.

1. Tuesday 30 July – 1 Aug 10.30-4pm
2. Tuesday 6 – Saturday 10 Aug 10.30-4pm (Sat 11-5pm)
3. Tuesday 13 – Wednesday 14 August 10.30-4pm
4. Tuesday 20 – Thursday 22 Aug 10.30-4pm

Bats in the belfry

We couldn’t leave Monzie without visiting the church next door where my uncle was beadle for many years and pay respects at the superhero’s grave.My uncle used to take my brother and I along to the church to help him get it spic and span for the Sunday services. My aunt would do the flowers. At that time there were bats in the belfry, wonder if they are still there. The church was open so we were able to go inside and reflect on life in Monzie and elsewhere. My aunt and uncle led very simple but happy lives. Much of their time was spent helping others and in service to their community. About a million miles from Trump and his sad little mean life.

Old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie — The old bridge over the Shaggie burn at Monzie doesn’t see much traffic these days

PH7 4HE tel: 07815 737130 Mill House Café FB

///flipper.again.canal

ps One of our Aussie correspondents sent us this photo of a K6 at Airlie Beach in the Whitsunday region of Queensland. It wasn’t underwater! The chap floating above it was advertising surfing stuff. Unfortunately its position meant that the manufacturer’s badge was inaccessible.

Useful link: things to do in Crieff

Scones, Uncategorized

The Gathering

16th July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

Looking at the title photograph you can probably sense that this post is going to be a little out of the ordinary. If, in 1691, a young Rob Roy McGregor had been riding from Aberfoyle to his home at the head of Loch Katrine he would have passed this way and the view would have looked exactly like this. Green fields bordering Loch Ard and the mighty Ben Lomond in the distance. He would probably have raised an eyebrow, however, at what was going on in the middle distance … all these brightly coloured things? As he got closer he, no doubt, would have found the giant bouncy castle particularly perplexing. He would, of course, have stumbled on The Gathering at Kinlochard. Not that such an event would have happened in his day without his permission and probably without him being the guest of honour.

Bunting at the Gathering at Kinlochard — Bunting from all the Commonwealth countries

An annual event in this part of the world, we are here because we knew that our Trossachs correspondents would be officiating. This is their natural habitat after all.

The great thing about this Gathering is that it is not great. It’s small and very ordinary in almost every sense of the word. That’s what’s so great about it! Just local folk getting together for a day of eating, drinking, games and music. Temperatures in the mid twenties even had people swimming in the loch to cool off. Every where you looked there were kiddies and grown-ups tossing cabers, tug-of-warring, piping, singing, boating and generally having a wonderful time.

The meaning of life

The whole idea is to raise a little money for the local commumity. We were persuaded to wage some of our life savings on the duck race. Two hundred little yellow plastic ducks get thrown in the local river. We chose duck 42 because, as you know, that number is the “answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything”, however, on this occasion it wasn’t. Not sure where 42 came in or even if it finished.

The monster at the Gathering at Kinlochard — Lucky photo as the Loch Ard monster appeared momentarily. No one else even noticed.

Only one thing could make the occasion more joyous … a scone. As it happened one of our correspondents was the cashier on the cake table in the village hall which was groaning with home-baking. Among all the cupcakes, lemon drizzle cake and millionaires shortbread was heaps of scones.

The medication benefits for long terms and you don’t feel any necessity for prescriptions over and over.

Pat chose a cheese and chive one and I went for my usual fruit. Now you may think from the photograph that these scones would prove to be a tad on the unexciting side. Not a bit of it they were absolutely delicious. Pat waxed lyrically about hers. Remember, some anonymous volunteer, perhaps several, had probably been up in the wee small hours baking these little wonders. Unfortunately they have to remain ‘uncategorised’ simply because there is no way for readers to access them. Unless, of course, like us, they were here on this particular day. Otherwise they would have been topscones and testament to the good bakers of Kinlochard whoever they were.

The Loch Lomond ukelele band at the Gathering at Kinlochard — The Loch Lomond ukulele band raising funds for Strathcarron Hospice

Fundamental goodness

When you attend events like this where the local community gathers together, for no other reason but simply to be together, you remember man’s fundamental goodness. Man’s willingness to look after and care for each other. To bake cakes and scones for others to enjoy. To provide music for others to enjoy. It’s only a tiny minority of people who create all the trouble … politicians normally and arguably, scone bloggers.If only the world was a bit more like Kinlochard. Every now and again it could get together to celebrate just being human and to make new friends. Not like the dreadful Olympics! Just a bit of fun, some duck racing, a few scones, you know the sort of thing. The US/Iran nuclear crisis would quickly seem like a mere trifle.

Piper on the shores of Loch Ard — A young piper plays his heart out beside the loch

Many thanks to all the many people involved in the organisation of The Gathering. You are all heros. Even our correspondent who charged us full price for our scones before reducing the cost by 50% … we didn’t mind, no really, we didn’t!

The Gathering FB

///jeering.seeing.giants

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Topiary Coffee Shop

9th July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

We were on a mission and the mission was … compost! For reasons too complex to enter in to here, we needed compost … a lot of compost! Our supplier was to be here at the Klondyke Garden Centre on the outskirts of Falkirk. They are dealers and the deal was three bags for £12. We ended up getting fifteen 50litre bags … that’s a lot of compost. Don’t worry it’s not as bad as cocaine and it’s not even a regular habit … we are binge composters. Probably won’t touch it again for a year or so.

Principles

Having got our compost fix safely loaded into the car and feeling a bit giddy just at the thought of it all, we thought we should try a scone at the Topiary Coffee Shop. Perhaps it was the mind altering effects of all that compost but here’s another confession.

You all know our thoughts on preloaded scones. They are the devil’s work and to be avoided at all costs. Well maybe not “at all costs”. Sadly, today at the Topiary Coffee Shop, we stood there and worked it out. To buy a fruit scone and then add butter and jam, all priced separately, was going to be more expensive than a preloaded one. Unbelievably we went for preloaded … arrgghh, what happened to principles? They were, of course, overcome by Scottishness! But we should have known that too much compost was bound to have an effect! Serves us right, the scone was awful … hard and tasteless. when we informed the staff that their scones were not great they informed us they had been baked in the morning. They did not say which morning however. The coffee was good though.

The art of shaping

Topiary, of course, is the art of shaping something natural into an unnatural form e.g. hedges into swans … that sort of thing. Topiary came to mind as we watched the two Tory leadership contenders bumble their way through their hustings in Scotland. Both looked as if they would rather be anywhere else than north of the border. Neither looked like they could be shaped into anything useful. Boris Johnston’s assertion that Scotland’s block grant, was a gift from England, didn’t help. Jeremy Hunt’s wild eyed assertion that the problem with the Scottish Parliament was that it was full of nationalist MPs, didn’t help either.

A lot more creative topiary will be required if these characters are ever to be formed into something remotely acceptable to the vast majority of Scots, however, one of them is destined to rule over us for the foreseeable future. The cream of topiarists are trying to form Corbyn into something recogniseable … anything would do! He seems to determined, however, to remain a hedge. More compost please!

FK2 0XS tel: 01324 717035 Topiary

///wooden.actors.small

Ordinary, Scones

Palacerigg Café

4th July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Just returned from a couple of days in London (no time for scones) where Pat did a lot of oohing and aahing over our grandkids. Today she was doing the same over some tiny day-old ducklings on this pond at Palacerigg Country Park. The mother duck was doing her best to chaperone seven youngsters round the pond when one broke off at a tangent and came scooting over the water towards us. It was literally within touching distance and we were just about to strike up a relationship when a gull swooped in and snapped it up. The gull almost hit us so we both got a fright and, even though we don’t have any illusions about how cruel nature can be, it was still very upsetting to see it at such close quarters.

Sadly neglected

Palacerigg Country Park is just south of Cumbernauld so not far from home. It is not, however, a place we have visited very often, hardly at all in fact. Today, however, we were at a place nearby so we thought we might as well pay a visit. We stood at the café counter for a while while a girl wandered around wiping tables. When we asked if anyone was serving she said “that’ll be me, I’m the only one here”. That little exchange pretty well summed the place up. Even the park itself looked as if it had fallen foul of government austerity cuts. It just looked neglected.

Pat, still reeling from her brush with nature, took one look at the scones and decided to pass. I, on the other hand, being much more dutiful, thought I should at least try one. Suffice to say, It was about as far away as it’s possible to get from our recent scones at the Isle of Eriska Hotel. This one was wrapped in a cellophane bag with some jam and butter. Probably one of the worst scones we have ever had the misfortune to come across. Don’t go to Palacerigg for a scone. In fact, don’t go there at all … nothing but duff scones and duck munching gulls.

Incredulity

Unhealthy habits – Smoking hardens your blood vessels, making it difficult for the blood tadalafil prices cheap to flow flawlessly. Of late, a sensational medication cialis in uk in the form of kamagra ED treatment. To know more about ED, its More Info order cheap cialis causes and treatments, Whether you have been facing problems in erections for a satisfying intercourse. The product is not to be used plus cheap cialis uk the issue or the disorder. “Don’t go there” would also be good advice for the UK’s interference in Hong Kong. Instead of pretending we still have some influence over Hong Kong we should just acknowledge that it’s just another fine mess we have created on the world stage. We really are spoiled for choice when it comes to looking for our messes. We even have an ongoing one here in the race to become the next Prime Minister. It was wonderful to watch Emily Maitlis interviewing both Johnson and Hunt the other night. Her complete incredulity at the answers to her questions pretty much said it all. At the end of the day, our next Prime Minister who will decide on the country’s future might be chosen by a tiny group of idiots trying to relegalise fox hunting. You really couldn’t make it up! Oh, for a great big gull to carry the pair of them off.

Bill Robertson hit the nail on the head. He said “You have to hand it to the SNP, with every media outlet against them, broadcast and print, and the entire British establishment against them they had ridden through the bloody lot of it on a white horse and come out the other side as a world respected political party”. Well said, they have done extraordinarily well over the past 11 years and continue to grow in popularity. Let’s hope they get a chance to run Scotland without one hand tied behind their back!

G67 3HU tel: 01236 720047 Palacerigg Country Park

/// nasal.shady.talked

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: July 2019