Tweeddale Arms Hotel

29th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

What is it with the aristocracy? Does having too much money and privilege simply make you bonkers, or do they have to take lessons? Maybe at places like Eton or Gordonstoun? Today we are in Gifford just a short distance outside Edinburgh. The village takes its name from the Gifford family of noblemen the first of whom was Sir Hugo Gifford, a known wizard, who in 1267 built Yester Castle. He designed the castle and an underground dungeon known as the Goblin Ha’. Built, supposedly with the help of magic and a small army of hobgoblins, the beautifully vaulted Ha’ (Hall) can still be seen beneath the ruins of the castle. Even today, the Goblin Ha’ Hotel sits proudly on the main street.

A view of Gifford main street — Gifford main street

Odd beginnings

Gifford village itself does not go back as far as that though, in fact, it didn’t even exist back then. In the 17th century. One of Sir Hugo’s ancestors who valued his privacy highly, the first Marquess of Tweeddale, built a 7 mile wall round the Yester Estate and demolished the village of Bothans (John Knox was born there in 1505) . He deemed the village to be too close to his house. See what we mean, bonkers! A redeeming factor was that he built this village over a mile away just outside the wall to house the estate workers and gave it the family name … as you do? Thus Gifford was born.

Fairies and scones

After a beautiful drive through the Lammermuir hills we thought that, if we were ever to get a scone in which fairies may have had a hand, the Goblin’ Ha’ Hotel was our best bet but unfortunately it wasn’t to be … no fairies and no scones. We took our leave and went round the corner to this place, the Tweeddale Arms. What a good move that turned out to be. We were ushered into a lounge filled with antique furniture and pictures and we had it entirely to ourselves! This was a beautiful and very comfortable room. It would have been nice if there had been a log fire in the big granite fireplace but hey, it was a hot day, so maybe just as well. The lady who was looking after us was lovely. Nothing was too much trouble.

When she brought in our scones everything was presented perfectly. Okay the jam and butter were prepacked but the supersized tub of cream more than made up for that. A very pleasant hour was spent noseying round the room and reading country life magazines in the big comfy armchairs. This is the life, nice surroundings, topscones and wonderful service!

Trump’s America

Among the pictures in the room was this lovely little ceramic in a gilt frame and a photograph depicting a young lady ready for tennis … obviously in more genteel times. One of Gifford’s most famous sons is John Witherspoon, a signatory to the American Declaration of Independence and first president of Princeton University. We wonder what he would make of Trump’s America? And would he have signed Scotland’s upcoming declaration of independence? We have it on good authority that Witherspoon was a very fair and eminently sensible man so we have no doubt he’d have jumped at the chance.

A picture at the Tweedale Arms Hotel in Gifford — Picture of a stag hunt at the Tweeddale

Thanks Tweeddale Arms for a great visit

EH41 4QU tel: 01620 810240 Tweeddale Arms Hotel

ps: our Trossachs correspondents have sent in a photo of a sconeloaf?? You know as much as we do!

Scones, self-service, weird

Blossoms Bistro – revisited

25th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

It was just over three years ago that we first reviewed the scones at this garden centre tearoom. It being just before the 2015 general election, we spent some time trying to explain our electoral system in scones. The House of Lords consisted of over 900 old and stale scones and, because even the pigeons would not take them, it was impossible to get rid of them … but never mind all that!

This time we are trying to demonstrate to some of our readers who have raised an eyebrow at some of our recent sojourns into sconology. Places like the Connaught and Knockinaam Lodge. Because they are kind of posh and consistently get topscone awards there is a suspicion that we are leaning towards the more expensive scone. Not true, we take our responsibilities earnestly when it comes to something as profoundly serious as scones. On this visit we have a voucher for Blossoms which promised two cream teas for £5. What’s not to like? We did need some plants for the garden as well, it’s that time of year.

Alarm bells

When we arrived they were out of fruit scones, only plain and hot cross scones left … hot cross scones? We thought the world had gone mad when Trump was elected but hot cross scones?? It had to be done! We were asked “synthetic or fresh cream?” Is that actually a question? They brought our tea to the table and said they were preparing our scones. Oh,oh, alarm bells!

When they arrived it was easy to see what they meant … they came preloaded, You could say that they were generously loaded so why are we complaining. Well we are complaining because you know by now that when it comes to scones we are DIYers. They tasted spicey like hot cross buns but were definitely on the solid side. The cross on the top was so hard it was inedible. If it was Easter we could maybe understand, but it’s not. So why?

Too good to be true?

A little snippet for your delectation – hot cross buns were simply known as cross buns until a nursery rhyme was written in the 18th century … hot cross buns, hot cross buns! Anyway, you know that saying “if it seems too good to be true then it probably is” well that pretty well sums up two cream teas for £5. It also sums up politicians who say that Brexit negotiations are going splendidly.

FK5 4EG tel: 01324 553152 Blossoms Bistro

Ordinary, Scones

Shoreline Café in Craster

23rd May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Craster is yet another pretty little village on the Northumberland coast. Its main claim to fame, the Craster kipper! They are caught and smoked here then distributed throughout the land. Here’s a question … what do you think the 46th Punjabis and the Tibetan Expedition of 1904 have to do with this village? Give up? Well, the harbour wall was built in 1906 to commemorate Captain John Craster who was shot through the heart while serving with the regiment. His obituary reads “The FIFTH have once more to mourn the loss of a comrade Captain J.C.P. Craster – who was killed in the fighting at the village and monastery on the left bank of the River Gyangtse, in Thibet on the 28th of last month.” Tibet? … is there a country in the world that Britain has not been at war with?

Craster is very close to Dunstanbourgh Castle which means that it is also very busy with tourists who start here and walk along the coast to reach it.

Dunstanburgh Castle near Caster, Northumberland — the ruined Dunstanburgh Castle … built in 1313 keeping the Scots at bay

Quelle dommage

Besides kippers and castles, Craster also boasts the Shoreline Café. When you walk in you are confronted by a magnificent display of scones … good start. Like our previous post about the Drift Café in Cresswell this place was buzzing. So far as we could tell it was the only show in town> However, all the activity needn’t necessarily mean it was good. Our scones, when they arrived with their pots of jam and cream, looked very promising. They did taste very good but so crumbly they were quite difficult to control. Breaking into pieces when you tried to spread them, quelle dommage!

Nevertheless we thoroughly enjoyed them and, with its shop area filled with local arts and crafts, we also like the whole ambience of the place itself. No topscone but well done Shoreline, keep up the good work. NE66 3TH tel: 01665 571251 Shoreline Café

Later in the day we had a trip booked to Coquet Island, a must for birdwatchers in this part of the world. The island is owned by Ralph George Algernon Percy. Probably better known to you and I as the 12th Duke of Northumberland. But then he owns almost everything around here.

The ferry to Coquette Island off Amble, Northumberland — Our cruise ship at Amble harbour

Keeperless

Interesting (we promise this is the last time we mention it) that on the eve of the wedding, Theresa May managed to sneek another ten Tory and DUP peers into the Lords. This after promising to reduce the House of Lords last year. The woman knows no shame and it exposes her desperation over Brexit.

When the island’s lighthouse was built in 1841 the Duke ordered that it should look like a castle rather than a lighthouse so as to fit in with all his other castles along the coast. Perish the thought that it should look like a lighthouse! The first lighthouse keeper was the elder brother of the heroic Grace Darling. Nowadays it is keeperless and solar powered.

The list

Anyway the reason for our trip was to see roseate terns. Coquet is one of the very few places where they exist in the UK. Unbelievably, in the 19th century, exploitation for the millinery trade almost brought this elegant little bird to the edge of extinction. We also saw the other members of the tern family; common, artic and sandwich, as well as loads of puffins, kittiwakes and seals … fab! This signals the end of our trip and the end of Pat’s list. Her grand total was seventy one different species. Amazing when you consider that we never saw a robin or a greenfinch. The birds we see every day at home. Many thanks to our local Scottish Wildlife Trust for organising the event.

For those interested, here is Pat’s list: swallow, starling, song thrush, goldfinch, carion crow, jackdaw, pied wagtail, chaffinch, eider duck, shelduck, magpie, skylark, yellow wagtail, snowy owl, tree sparrow, wheatear, buzzard, chiffchaff, blackbird, mute swan, canada goose, lesser black backed gull, common tern, black headed gull, moorhen, mallard, grey heron, coot, wood pigeon, collared dove, barn owl, artic tern, house martin, pheasant, oystercatcher, common gull, tufted duck, longtailed tit, grey partridge, house sparrow, blue tit, great tit, reed bunting, sedge warbler, blackcap, whitethroat, lapwing, redshank, gadwall duck, cormorant, fulmer, turnstone, feral pigeon, herring gull, avocet, dunlin, stonechat, kestrel, whooper swan, willow warbler, sandwich tern, sand martin, linnet, gannet, greater black backed gull, dunnock, roseate tern, guillemot, puffin, kittiwake, swift.

english, Scones, Top

The Drift Café – Cresswell

21st May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

We are staying in the pretty little town of Alnmouth and just round the corner there is a haunted hotel, the Schooner. If this wasn’t bad enough, we are now a few miles away beside Cresswell Tower which is also haunted. We know you have probably had enough of royal weddings but bear with us.

In this case the daughter of the Cresswell family had fallen for a handsome Danish prince. At the time, England was at war with Denmark so perhaps the happy couple should have seen the writing on the wall. Throngs of people gathered at the foot of the tower waiting for the fairy-tale wedding. The bride-to-be was waiting at the top for her prince to arrive only to witness his dead body being dragged behind a horse. The prince had been murdered by the bride’s brothers. She died of a broken heart and on occasions can still can be seen atop the tower gazing out to sea looking for her beloved. Thank goodness Meghan’s was an altogether different story.

Avocets

We however were here looking for something completely different … avocets. Neither of us had ever seen avocets before but we had it on good authority that we might be able to see them and maybe even a little egret here on Cresswell Pond, another site managed by the Northumberland Wildlife Trust. No sign of the little egret but there were at least half a dozen avocets. We were thrilled to have seen them at last. The Drift Café is quite close to the Pond so after a spell in the bird-hide we knew that a scone wasn’t far away.

Going after crumbs

Initially you think that Cresswell is a very quiet seaside village. Not a soul to be seen. Until you enter the Drift that is … everyone’s in here! It was going like a fair! Lots of things for sale by local craft folk and a fabulous display of scones. Pat went for a cheese and chive option. It was so big she swore she would never get anywhere near finishing it. She finished it, and even went after the crumbs left on her plate. My fruit scone was great as well. Just how I like them with the added bonus of crunchy sugar bits on top … delicious.

All in all this was definitely one of the most enjoyable experiences we have had in a long time and to make it even better, when we were leaving, across the road from the café, a stonechat … another one for the list!

Londoncentric politics

The first recording of the Cresswell name was actually in Renfrewshire in Scotland which is perhaps not too surprising given that over 50,000 people in this part of the world have signed a petition wanting to secede from the UK and join Scotland when it becomes independent. Obviously it’s not just the Scots that are utterly fed up with Londoncentric politics. Pat’s list continues to grow.

NE61 5JX tel: 01670 861599 The Drift Café

english, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Hauxley Wildlife Centre

20th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

While Megan tries to convince Harry that she hadn’t really wanted a big wedding, we are still a safe distance away in the north east of England. The Hauxley Wildlife Discovery Centre near Druridge Bay is internationally renowned for its birds. It’s amazing because it was once a very industrial open-cast mining site. In 1983, however, it was taken over by Northumberland Wildlife Trust and transformed into this fabulous haven for wildlife. They’ve done a magnificent job with an extensive shallow pond surrounded by great paths and multiple hides. Definitely one of the best reserves we have come across.

A speckled brown wood butterfly at Hauxley Nature Reserve — Speckled wood butterfly

We spent a couple of hours visiting the hides, spying on the host of birds and butterflies that have made this their home. Pat was happy to add a few new species, like blackcap and whitethroat to her list. Once we had done a fairly lengthy circuit of all the hides it was scone o’clock and time to return to the reception centre.

Last minute scones

Even this large straw-bale built reception centre was put together by a small army of Northumberland Wildlife Trust volunteers. The café not only had scones but huge viewing windows where you could eat your scone while continuing to watch birds. What more could you ask for?The self-service service was very warm and friendly as you would expect in this part of the world. There wasn’t any cream and not much jam but the scones themselves were very good and very welcome. Our group actually bought all the scones they had. If we had been a few minutes later there would have been none and that would have been a disaster. No topscone here unfortunately but a very good effort in a quite magical place … keep up the good work!

Talking of disasters … let’s return to the wedding. Seriously, you have probably gathered by now that we are not great fans of Royalty but we do like Suits, so we really do wish the new Countess of Dumbarton (yes, that’s one of Megan’s many titles now) and her hubby every good fortune with their marriage.

Who cares when there is a Royal wedding?

It was great to see that all the homeless people had been either removed from Windsor or covered up with Union flags. All the towns potholes had also been repaired. Can all UK towns have a Royal wedding, please? Elsewhere there were plane crashes in Cuba, another mass school shooting in the Texas, the start of Ramadan and the opening of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland where they will be discussing whether the C of S has 10 or 20 years left to live. But who cares when there is a Royal wedding? Not to worry the bird-list continues to grow.

NE65 0JR tel:01665 568 324 Hauxley Wildlife

english, Ordinary, Scones

Sunnyhills of Belford

17th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Every year we set off with some colleagues from the Scottish Wildlife Trust to do a bit of bird watching. It’s always fun and somewhere in Scotland is our usual destination. This year is different however because we are heading south to Englandshire, or, to be more precise, Northumberland. Pat always starts a bird list for the outing. The idea being to list each species of bird as we see them and then total them up at the end to see how many we’ve seen. Can you think of anything more exciting?? Okay, you can but we love it! It takes us into nooks and crannies of the country we would never ever otherwise think of visiting. Just to see if we can add another species. So it was that, before we had even crossed the border, we found ourselves at Skateraw.

Snowy owl

Intelligence had it that this was almost the only place in the country to see yellow wagtails. Most people know the common black and white pied wagtails, well this the same but yellow. The intelligence was sound. After a bit of searching, there it was, like a tail wagging canary. Brilliant, and a fantastic start to the list. To make things even better when we were leaving Skateraw we spied a snowy owl. Okay it was in an aviary in someone’s garden, so not strictly allowable, but hey, what a phenomenal duo to kick things off.

Eventually we crossed the border about scone o’clock so we were keeping an eye open for coffee shops as well as birds. Sunnyhills of Belford was to be our eventual stopping off place. It is a cafe/restaurant come farm shop with a big adventure playground area for kids … you know the sort of thing!. It was self service so it wasn’t long before we were kitted out with scones and teas. There was no cream and not a lot of jam but the scone itself was pleasant enough though nowhere near worthy of any kind of accolade, never mind a topscone.

On leaving Sunnyhills we headed to Alnmouth, one of Northumberland’s many beautiful villages, where we were to be based for the next few days, It’s a piece of the country which is coastal and has many nature reserves so we were hopeful of seeing many more birds. Having said that, at the end of day one, Pat’s list had reached thirty one. Pretty amazing in itself. We will keep you posted on the final count.

Just being away for a day or so kind of throws you out of the loop in terms of news and current affairs but then there probably won’t be any for the next few days anyway with THE wedding. Oh no, don’t tell us we are going to miss it! Oh dear, what a shame, never mind. We wish the happy couple well but the fawning press and media is almost too much to bear. We’ll content ourselves looking for birds … and scones.NE70 7DP tel: 01668 219662 Sunnyhills Farm Shop

english, Scones, Top

Connaught Hotel

8th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

We managed to squeeze our Porsche 911 GT2 RS in between another sports car and a huge black Rolls Royce outside the front door of the hotel. Seriously, the car pictured above was indeed parked like that. However, with a price tag of £211,000 for the basic model it represents more than we have spent on cars in our entire lifetime. It does 0-60mph in 2.8 secs whereas our first car, a Citroen Dyane named Hal after the computer in the film 2001, A Space Odyssey, could only reach that speed in a following wind. Truthfully, we arrived by black cab.

A couple of sheep

It took us through Mayfair to the Connaught and the streets were lined with Ferraris and Lamborghinis so this car was not out of place in the slightest. Definitely the place to see swank, if silly, cars. Our favourite car of all time however remains Hal. Not sure you would get a couple of sheep and bale of straw in the back of that Porsche. At least not without knocking £100,000 off the value! Anyway, this is not a car blog!

As you are very well aware we leave no stone unturned in our sconological quests and once again, as we did at Knockinaam Lodge Hotel, we are going that extra mile … entirely on your behalf! The Connaught (like Claridge’s and the Ritz does not require to have “hotel” after its name … you’re just supposed to know) does luxury rather well.

One of the bars at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London — The Coburg Bar

Because we were a sinful few minutes early we were promptly escorted to the Coburg bar and obliged to drink pink champagne and eat green olives with homemade potato crisps while they prepared our table … nice! We had hardly begun when they announced that the table was ready but that we could take as long as we liked over our champagne. Nice again!

Dream Tea

When we did eventually sit down to our afternoon tea it was in the very comfortable Jean-Georges restaurant. It had a huge wrap round window so that we could sit and watch the mega-rich going past outside wondering which, if any of them, was not involved in money laundering. First thing we had to do was decide on tea … there was no coffee option! Pat opted for a green tea called Gyokuro, made by gently steaming the leaves in pure volcanic water and promising to taste of roasted Fuji apples and tender meringue.

I, having only a vague grasp on reality, opted for Dream Tea, an infusion of the finest chamomile, verbena, lemongrass and mint … wake me up somebody! We’ve seen the correct way to taste posh tea …. you suck it noisily through your teeth, swill it vigorously around your mouth before jettisoning it into a spittoon. But this did not seem like either the time or the place. Interestingly both teas looked and tasted amazingly like hot water … but refreshing nevertheless to our PG Tips palates.

Curd, or not?

We could go on endlessly about the biscuit dogs for dipping in chocolate. Or the Truffle egg mayonnaise sandwiches. Or the Rhubarb Compote with Fromage Blanc but you just want to know about the scones. Don’t you! Needless to say they were delicious. There was a fruit and a plain for each of us, beautifully glazed on top and nicely presented in a silver basket. They were accompanied by homemade strawberry jam, Cornish clotted cream and lemon curd … fab. The lemon curd, however, presented us with something of a quandry … cream with curd, or not?

We should know the answer but, since this is the first time we have been presented with the problem, we don’t. We went ‘with’ and it was nice enough but aesthetically a bit insipid looking. Thoughts on this dilemma would be most welcome. The fruit ones had delightfully succulent golden fruit rather than the usual black sultanas. All in all it was a pretty obvious topscone.

However, we don’t want readers running away with the idea that it was all plain sailing. We had had to switch champagnes for the afternoon tea. At one point,Pat even had to pour her own tea!! In the toilets there was someone to greet you. They turned on the taps for you and handed you a beautiful fluffy white hand towel. Too much! The thought of these poor sods standing in a toilet all day, albeit a marbled temple of a toilet, waiting to turn your taps on … arrgghh!

Pouring one’s own tea

They might even wipe bums for the Rees Moggs of this world but we’re not sure. At any rate the very nice gentleman who turned on my taps has probably been deported by now under Theresa May‘s fantastically disgraceful immigration regime. The Connaught must have hundreds of staff. We met quite a few of them and not one of them was British. Does this mean that we will all have to pour our own tea and wipe our own bums after Brexit? Sacré bleu! To top it all off the staff presented us with a beautiful little box with some extra scones and jams as we left … wonderful. Or maybe it was the Dream Tea kicking in?

W1K 2AL tel: 020 7499 7070 The Connaught

english, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Costa Coffee

4th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

The main street in East Sheen is festooned with lovely new coffee shops so you would think that it would be relatively easy to find a scone. Not necessarily so. We tried several such establishments which all had loads of cakes and pastries but no scones. One place didn’t even seem to know what a scone was … mon Dieu! What seems to be happening is that the new independent cafés and restaurants are all going down the same route. We think it might be called the hipster route. They all look very similar and they all serve the same pretend healthy stuff. Perhaps they don’t do scones because they have to be fresh and are just too much trouble?

Only marmalade!

Normally we try to give our custom to independent coffee and tea houses rather than the multinationals. Today, however, in this buzzing area of south west London, it was down to Costa Coffee, the second biggest multinational, to come to the rescue. They had fruit scones and they had cheese scones, hurrah! In places like this our expectations are never that high and we feared that after some very indifferent service at the counter and the place being a wee bit untidy, that these expectations were being realised. When it came to the scones however we were very pleasantly surprised … they were warm and probably had the most fruit we have had in a scone in a long time. No cream and the only jam they had was marmalade. Heyho, we like to be adventurous.
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Government opposing themselves

Given the overall experience this was nowhere near a topscone. Having said that, however,it wasn’t at all bad. At least Costa is British. Starbucks coming to the rescue would have been too much to bear! Englandshire is going through its local government elections at the moment. Even though London voted overwhelmingly, like Scotland, to stay in the EU the biggest issue in this area seems to be weekly bin collections rather than Brexit! What with everything that has been going on, our present government should be the easiest in living memory to oppose. However the Labour party seems to have failed yet again in that department. The Tories are actually doing a better job of opposing themselves than Labour and are still coming off best in the elections!SW14 7NX tel: 020 8878 0351 Costa

Scones, Top

The Smithy Tea Room

1st May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

On previous occasions when we have been in New Galloway the Catstrand theatre and gallery has provided us with scones from their café area. We have always enjoyed them. This time, however, we noticed that there was a new kid on the block just a few yards down the street, The Smithy Tea Room. It sits on the banks of the Mill Burn, so we decided to give it a go. And what a good decision that was. We were greeted by a lady who was as bright as a button.

Once we were seated she took our order. When she asked if we would like our scones toasted her head was moving up and down as she looked at us knowingly. The decision was made and it was another good one as it turned out.

Good ideas

The jam came in little pots like you normally get from Wilkins and Sons, Tiptree. These jars, however, were being recycled and had been filled by hand. Excellent idea! They also had a novel way of serving their butter neatly wrapped in parchment paper. Simple but very effective. There was loads of cream and guess what, it was from Finlay’s ‘Cream o’ Galloway’ Farm which is not only local but produces everything organically. This is definitely the way it should be rather than, like so many places we come across in Scotland, importing Rhodda’s cream from Cornwall. On the counter there was a glass urn full of water from which you could help yourself. Another great idea.

Knowing nods

The owners had only had the Smithy for six weeks but obviously had a sense of humour as testified by the sign for the toilets. There was just a good feel about the Smithy. There was also lots of other stuff like jewellery, preserves and paintings by local craft people in the shop area. Remember that knowing nod, well the scones were wonderfully toasted and absolutely delicious. Definitely an easy topscone. We liked everything about this place.

The milky way

New Galloway itself is a beautiful little town but it is also a dark place!! The Forest Park in which it sits is one of the darkest places in Europe … 75,000 hectares of land with hardly anyone living there hence it has been designated the first Dark Sky Park in the UK. On a Sky Quality Meter (yes there is such a thing) it measures almost the same as a photographer’s darkroom … and believe me, that’s dark. So if you want to see the Milky Way and have a great scone, this is the place to be.

A definite lack of light

This place may be dark but there is an equally dark area surrounding Westminster. Doubt it would raise even a flicker on a Politics Quality Meter. It seems that none of our tawdry government will resign as a matter of honour. Instead they try and lie and worm their way out of any mess they find themselves in. That’s until the evidence becomes irrefutable and they are forced out … pathetic. Of course Amber Rudd probably had to remain in post in the Windrush scandal in order to protect the Prime Minister. Now that Rudd has gone it remains to be seen who Theresa May will try and deflect the blame onto next. Whatever happens don’t hold out too much hope for light being introduced into the situation.

DG7 3RN tel: 01644 420269 The Smithy

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Monthly Archives: May 2018