Tag Archives: Holyrood

Dobbies

14th August 2017 billpaterson1@me.com

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

© bill paterson photography — January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling — Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant

Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling — Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

FK9 4UF tel: 01786 458860 Dobbies Garden Centre

BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. They look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.

Scones, Top

Venachar Lochside

23rd October 2016 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Standing on the south shore of Loch Venachar looking over the water to the restaurant/café that is Venachar Lochside, it looks very small. It’s a remote location set against the magnificent backdrop of Ben Ledi. A rather splendid and peaceful sight. Don’t be fooled, however, everything is not as it might seem! Below these tranquil waters lies a dreadful beast in the form of an evil waterhorse or kelpie.

Wood of lamentation

Many lochs have these creatures however the one in this loch is, by all accounts, in a league of its own. As a shapeshifter it can appear as a beautiful horse … or even a handsome man. It lures women and children into the water where it drags them under and devours them. Just along the road from the Venachar Lochside café is the woodland called Coille a’ Bhroin (wood of lamentation) which commemorates fifteen women and children who fell foul of this malicious kelpie. Today, there is a car park across the road from the wood, and few who sit in their cars gazing out across the loch have any idea of it’s dark secret.

Handsome man

Given the kelpie’s shape-shifting attributes, and with me being a handsome man, our only worry was that my entrance might spread alarm amongst those already in the café. No one paid a blind bit of notice! Venachar Lochside has been here for almost exactly five years and is a family run concern. We have passed it on several occasions but this was to be our first visit. There is a large eating area downstairs with an open air deck right on the water. Upstairs there is a function room where you can get married if you want? With it being midweek in late October, we thought it would be quiet … but no, it was bustling.

Old fashioned guts

Two cheery young girls were doing a great job coping with the multitudes. It wasn’t long before we were seated and presented with our scones. They were excellent, and with a little jar of jam and a nice tub of cream we had no problem awarding a topscone. It’s just brilliant to see new businesses like this being made to work so well and thriving in relatively isolated areas like this. That has to be attributed to astute business acumen and good old-fashioned guts and determination.

False accusations

The Scottish government gets accused of being unbusinesslike for running up huge deficits. Yet, at the same time, it is required by law to balance the books every year. Something it has done each and every year of it’s existence. Maybe it’s the UK that has the deficit? It also gets criticism for not reducing this deficit, which considering control over: the minimum wage; VAT; corporation tax; fuel duty; oil revenues; immigration; tax avoidance and income tax personal allowances are all held at Westminster, is a pretty tall order. An impossible one.

However, the UK government was dragged kicking and screaming into devolution by the EU. Above all, Westminster never intended the Scottish parliament to be anything more than an expensive talking shop. In looking after the interests of Scotland however, we think that Holyrood takes it’s business very seriously indeed, so it is great to see it starting to by-pass London and open up new ventures directly with other EU countries. Let’s hope they can be as half as successful as Venachar Lochside.

FK17 8HP tel: 01877 330011 Venachar Lochside Restaurant

self-service

The Scottish Parliament

11th December 2015 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Well, well, well, look where we are. Once you have endured the airport style security this is quite a pleasant building to be in. Not grand and imposing like it’s southern counterpart, but friendly and, even with the slightly austere design, welcoming. It’s very much a talking shop, rather than a coffee shop (is there a difference). Although we have been here several times before it has never been when the Parliament has been in session. The hope was that today was to be one of glorious enlightenment .. and maybe a scone.

But, for the moment, never mind the controversies raging in the debating chamber, the entire history of the Scottish Parliament is highly controversial. In spite of the very British illusion of democracy embedded in the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ and all that, almost thirty years ago the EU found the UK to be one of the most undemocratic states in the EU. As a result the European Commission forced devolution on John Major’s government to try and create more localised accountability. Major hated the whole idea but was perhaps fortunate in being deposed and able to hand on the poisoned chalice to Tony Blair. He hated it just as much, if not more.

In fact he hated it so much that on the eve of the inauguration of the Scottish Parliament he secretly redrew the border between Scotland and England. It meant that the ownership of seven North Sea oil fields were transferred to England with consequentially dramatic effects on each country’s GDP figures. Presumably it was in case the Scots got a bit above themselves.

Controversy also followed the construction program with an eventual cost overrun of almost £400m .. ouch!!

Designed by a Catalan architect, Enric Miralles, it has been described it as “a Celtic-Spanish cocktail to blow both minds and budgets. It doesn’t play safe, energetically mining a new seam of National Romanticism refined and reinterpreted for the twenty-first century”. Whatever, we rather like it.
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Rapprochement

The debating chamber is built above the public areas to remind those in it that they are only there at the behest of those below them. Not sure that bit is working too well but the theory is good. We already know that the First Minister is a dab hand at making scones but if the 129 MSPs had anything to do with the scones in the tearoom, there must have been some sort of cross party rapprochement. They were not too bad .. nowhere near topscone but quite good all the same. Pre-packaged jam; butter a bit too hard; on the expensive side for self-service. Perhaps a scone designed by a committee?

We listened with interest to a session in the chamber but much of it was fairly opaque. A plethora of acronyms, can make it difficult to follow proceedings if you are not familiar with each and every one. Nevertheless we did find it an enlightening experience and it was good to see it all in full flow.

Searching for democracy

You would think that with the formation of the Scottish Parliament that the UK democracy issue would have dramatically improved. It hasn’t. If anything this place is akin to a sticking plaster. Recently, 97% of Scottish MPs voted against bombing Syria, but you all know what happened there. There are countless examples like this; nuclear weapons; the EU; trade union laws; the Scotland Bill; human rights; tax credits, where the Scottish voice matters not a jot. If you live in Scotland it is almost pointless voting. Any system where one set of MPs is outnumbered 12 to 1 is self evidently flawed and certainly not geared to Scotland’s best interests.

If Scotland were not in a union with England and the top 100 UK secondhand car salesmen were given the task of selling the current union deal to the Scottish electorate they would not have a snowball’s. On top of all this the current government is intent on reducing our democracy even further. Chipping away at trade unions and eroding our human rights. They might as well be open about it and hand the whole thing over to the corporates and banksters who actually run everything at the moment. It’s enough to make you choke on your committee scone!

EH99 1SP tel: 0131 348 5200 The Scottish Parliament

Ordinary, Scones

Arrochar Tearoom

14th October 2015 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Unless you are a climber or hill walker, Arrochar is not a destination, it is somewhere you pass through on your way to other places. For hill walkers the view from the village across the end of the loch towards the Cobbler is exciting. You come on it suddenly. Round the corner and there it is, your target for the day. Over the years the Arrochar has changed little. Still busy with traffic thundering through on its way towards the Rest And Be Thankful and beyond to places like Inverary, Lochgilphead and Campbeltown.

The young couple who run the tearoom are a delight, helpful and friendly and keen to chat. Somewhat oddly though, the scones on display are all individually wrapped in cling film, presumably to keep them as fresh as possible. Does anyone else do this .. does it work, let us know? We think it detracts from the look of the scones. They should be out breathing the fresh Loch Long air. There were some slightly perplexed looks when we asked if we could have our scones with separate jam and cream. Their cream scones were already made up and you all know what we think about that!

Its all to do with the car park

Never mind, the scones were homebaked and very good with generous proportions .. not quite topscones but not too far off either. I had the cream one and Pat had a plain one.

Pat's plain scone at Arrochar Tearoom — Pat’s plain scone

The tearoom is hard against the road, and if it wasn’t for a small parking area opposite, it would be very difficult to stop. It has had six successful years with the current owners however all is threatened by a proposal to build on the car park on which the tearoom largely depends. It only takes eight cars and has been used by the community for as long as anyone can remember. However, Luss Estates have discovered that they own it .. and now they have plans which, if successful, could completely scupper the tearoom. We don’t know the rights and wrongs of this particular situation but it does highlight a much larger problem.

Land Ownership

Scotland has the most concentrated land ownership in the developed world. Just 432 people own half of the private land. Land prices are far too high, rents are extortionate, and hence young people are leaving when they can’t even get a scrap of land for housing. The tearoom may have some sort of chance because at least they know who owns the car park .. sometimes it can be the devil’s own job finding out who actually owns

Arrochar Tearoom from the car park — tearoom from the car park

land. Much of it is held in tax havens like the British Virgin Islands. The Scottish government is trying to do something about it with the Scottish Land Reform Bill. It, amongst other things, is intended to increase transparency via a land registry and help facilitate community buy outs. Needless to say they are meeting vociferous opposition. It is actually starting to look as if they have already caved in to pressure from powerful lobbyists. Land held in tax havens will not now be affected in any way by the Bill. In fact, the Bill may end up so watered down as to be next to useless.

More backbone please

C’mon Holyrood, a bit more backbone please! Find out more at SLAM. Anyway, next year if you are driving through Arrochar keep an eye out for this tearoom. If it’s still open, use the car park, go in and have a bite to eat .. you’ll get a lovely welcome.

G83 7AA tel: 07585 709772 Arrochar Tearoom

Scones, history and a dollop of politics