Tag Archives: Robert Burns

Ordinary, Scones

Star & Garter Hotel

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Scotland’s national poet, Robert Burns, was born 1759 in the Ayrshire town of Alloway. The same year also saw the birth of this place, in the West Lothian town of Linlithgow. At that time it was the home of the wealthy Boyd family of ship owners. By the 1847, however, it had been transformed into a coaching inn, the Star & Garter, under the ownership of James Burleigh. At that time it was the Avis or Hertz of its day, hiring out horses and carriages. It’s right beside the station which is handy for us. While our car is being serviced in Bo’ness we can jump on a train and the garage picks us up from here. On some previous occasions, you may remember, they have picked us up at the Black Bitch.

Having a little time to spare, however, our attention was drawn towards the possibility of a scone. When we asked we were informed by a nice young man that tea and coffee were no problem. However, if we wanted a scone we would have to wait until he baked one. You will agree, it would have been rude and churlish to turn him down on such an offer.

Internal view of the Star & Garter Hotel, LinlithgowWhat’s in a name?

There are loads of pubs in Britain bearing the Star & Garter name. How come? As far as we can ascertain the Garter bit comes from the Order of the Garter. In 1344, Edward III decided to admit some of his knights to the Order of the Garter to make them feel a bit special among all these other common-or-garden knights. A bribe, in other words, for extra loyalty. The medals accompanying these awards usually came in the form of stars. Presumably the phrase “star and garter” began to be used to denote something a bit special. Would our scone be worthy of such an accolade?

Promising start

We were sitting by an open log fire waiting for them to be baked so  no great hardship there. Although we had our tea and coffee, waiting like this does heighten the sense of anticipation. Suffice to say, by the time they Scones at the Star & Garter Hotel, Linlithgowarrived we were ready! Having just come from the oven they were wonderfully warm, and although there was no cream there was plenty of jam and butter. First bite was very promising however as we progressed we decided that they had just been slightly over baked. We like them slightly crunchy on the outside but these were more ‘hard’. Had it not been for that they could have merited a topscone but sadly it was not to be. Fireside at the Star & Garter Hotel, Linlithgow

Honoured

However, sitting here by the fire in February with a slightly hard scone is still very enjoyable. We always feel honoured when folk offer to bake scones specially for us. Not as honoured as a knight of the realm you understand and certainly not as much as a gartered one, but honoured nevertheless.

Bribes

It is incredible that the government was defeated yet again last night and it doesn’t seem to make the slightest bit of difference. Why do they bother with all that palaver? Theresa May, never mind she cannot even command her own government, sets off to Brussels in another futile attempt to browbeat the EU into some sort of submission. It really takes some believing. Perhaps she is going with a bundle of stars and garters in her handbag. She has bribed everyone else so it may be worth a try.

A Parcel of Rogues

When Robert Burns wrote ‘Such A Parcel Of Rogues In A Nation’ he could easily have been referring to Brexit and the secretive ERG group of MPs.  He wrote: “Is wrought now by a coward few, For hireling traitor’s wages”.Though he could just as easily aimed it at MPs in the Labour party who will go with anything just to keep their jobs.

EH49 7AB          tel: 01506 845647           Star & Garter

ps. Honours should really go to our N.Ireland correspondents who, on a wee trip to Venice, diligently set about searching for a scone. Not easy in such an uncultured place however they did manage to find scone approximations. A Carnavle scone in VeniceApparently these items are only made at Carnavale time. This year that runs from 16th Feb to 5th March so we are doubly honoured to be seeing such rare Italian sconey things. They didn’t say how they tasted however .. more training required!

As always, many thanks to all our correspondents.

Ordinary, Scones

The Kenmore Hotel

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Oh dear, here we go again … scone 101. First of all, apologies for this rather lengthy preamble. However, it is necessary to let you know how we came to be here, at the Kenmore Hotel, especially since we never had any intention of coming here in the first place. It’s great to get feedback from readers, a major part of the fun of a blog like this. One reader in particular always comes back with lots of comments and information on all sorts of things.

Not so much a scone correspondent, more of an informant … the ‘Stenhousemuir mole’. After our review of the Iron Goddess of Mercy tea at Claridges the ‘mole’ informed us about the Dorchester Hotel where you can get Scottish grown tea at £10 a cup. He commanded us to go and try it. Bearing in mind that most of what emanates from the ‘mole’ could be classed as ‘brain farts’, there initially seemed no reason to think that this snippet would be any different. Tea grown in Scotland??

Best tea in the world

Upon investigation however it turned out that this little gem was in fact accurate and, not only that, the tea was from Amulree. It had won ‘best tea in the world’ at the recent World Tea Championships in Paris. Surely not, how can that be? Those of you who are familiar with Amulree can be forgiven for being slightly incredulous. For those who aren’t familiar, Amulree is 750m above sea level and consists of a hotel (currently defunct) and a couple of houses surrounded by miles of open bare hillside. Even bracken struggles! Sconeys should know about tea as well as scones, particularly if the best tea in the world is grown in Scotland. Further investigation was obviously going to be necessary.

So off we went, determined to witness this spectacle for ourselves. We felt so sure we would recognise a tea plantation when we saw one (seen them on the telly). We didn’t bother trying to pin down the exact location before leaving home .. mistake. On arrival in the village we thought, if there was any tea growing going on, it would be down the Glen Quaich road on the slightly lower ground around Loch Freuchie. But there was no sign, and as we headed further down the glen on a GWR (great wee road) we eventually ended up in the lovely village of Kenmore without seeing hide nor hair of a tea plantation .. zilch!

Poets bar with Burns' poem above the fire
Poets bar with Burns’ poem above the fire

Mystified and ever so slightly scunnered we headed for the hotel. Perhaps they would be able to shed some light on local tea growing activities?

Poetry

The hotel is a mixture of old and new. The bar area, called Poet’s Bar, has become a place of pilgrimage for enthusiasts of Robert Burns. On a visit on 29th August 1787 he wrote a poem in pencil on the chimney breast and it is still there exactly as written. Though it’s now protected by a sheet oKenmore 05f glass. At the back of the hotel there is a much glitzier restaurant with fabulous views over the river Tay. Our scones were nicely presented on a slate-like piece of wood with jam and a tub of cream topped of with a strawberry, very pretty! The scones, however, had a slightly dry sawdusty texture which was disappointing.

We’re not going to pretend that sitting by a toasty log fire drinking excellent coffee and eating scones was any kind of  hardship. Quite the opposite. Could have sat there all day. However, we were still no nearer to achieving our mission so we had to press on .. duty called! The serving staff were all eastern european so we thought we would ask Kenmore 04the lady at reception about Dalreoch. She was from Paris and had never even heard of the tea tasting championships .. goodness. What self respecting Parisian does not know about the tea championships? The local post-master had heard rumours of tea being grown locally but had no idea where.

By this time we were seriously beginning to doubt the veracity of the mole’s info. We were beginning to wonder if we were on a wild goose chase. Suffice to say that, after a 12 mile return journey via Aberfeldy we did eventually find it.

Civilising tea

Nowadays you are almost tempted to look nostalgically at bygone times. A time when conflicts could be resolved by a chap wearing jodhpurs and drinking a civilising cup of tea. We doubt if even world beating Scottish tea is sufficient to beat some sort of order into the mess the world seems to find itself in … pity.

PH15 2NU       tel: 01887 830205        Kenmore Hotel, Kenmore