Tag Archives: Nessie

The Kelpies Café

Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

External view of the Kelpies in FalkirkWhat actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water.  It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Internal view of the Kelpies in FalkirkOur Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

A scone at the Kelpies in FalkirkHowever, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when  they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk
Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.Brexit summary

FK2 7ZT        tel: 01324 590600         The Kelpies Café

///branded.highs.rungs

Canada Wood revisited

As our government prepares to invoke martial law in the event of riots after a no deal Brexit, we felt the need to stop banging our heads off the wall and go out in search of solace … and a scone! It seems almost unbelievable that it was more than four years ago that we first reported on Canada Wood Kitchen and Bar.  That means that we have been writing this nonsense for at least that amount of time. Yes, we really should get a life! And the sooner the better we hear you cry!

A wall at Canada WoodBack then Canada Wood was a brand spanking new venture. Everyone, including us, wondered if it could be successful in such an isolated spot – out of town and kind of “in the middle of nowhere”. We needn’t have worried. It has thrived, due in no small part to the fact that Falkirk has been voted “Britain’s Best Walking Neighbourhood”. Canada Wood is on the town’s vast path network and therefore does well from walkers and cyclists. Also motorists have now realised that a high quality restaurant exists just a short drive from the town. It has great food and there is plenty of parking so it is hardly surprising that it has also become one of our regular haunts. It’s progress has not been entirely straight forward, however, and just a few months ago it came under new management.

Tip off

Back in 2015 we were impressed by the place but felt the scones left a lot to be desired. They were not made on the premises and they were gigantic. Each scone could easily have fed three people! Recently, however, we got had a tip-off that the new management were baking everything on site. Investigation was required.

Internal view of Canada WoodThe staff, as always, were friendly and welcoming and soon had us supplied with some lunch and a scone to share … a ginger scone no less. A scone at Canada WoodEverything was first class. If there was a criticism it was that the jam was Tiptree, from Essex. Nothing whatsoever wrong with this jam however it would have been nice to have something a bit more local. This was our first ginger scone and it was delicious. Always difficult to know what to have with such an item, however, we went for the full monty … jam and cream! It was great. The ginger flavour was quite fulsome and the texture was lovely. We decided on a topweird. Well done Canada Wood … if only the Labour party could sort out its problems as well!

Right hand, left hand?

When it comes to the issue of Scottish Independence, the Labour party has covered itself in glory yet again. They have announced that as far as they are concerned all the Scottish Parliament has to do is ask the ‘English’ Parliament for permission for another referendum? What is that all about? Then they threaten that if Scotland were ever to leave the Union, Nessie would also leave and take up residence in the Lake District. We suspect that this second assertion is probably untrue because none of the puddles in England are any where near big enough for Nessie. You are asked to contact the Labour party as and when they have the slightest inkling of what they are doing. Don’t hold your breath.

FK1 3AZ      tel: 01324 610026        Canada Wood Kitchen

///bandage.otter.forge

ps Perhaps K6 telephone box officiandos should look away now. This may be too much for their sensitive souls to bear. It was sent to us by our Friockeim correspondents who just happened to be in Gretna Green. Where else would you find a pink K6 decorated like this?A K6 telephone box in Gretna GreenThese Friockeim folks also paint rocks and then hide them?? They do that in the hope that someone will find them, preferably a child, record it and then rehide them. Don’t ask! Apparently it’s regarded as normal behaviour in beautiful Angus. After all it’s no weirder than the antics of the Labour party. You can catch them on Facebook.

Mant thanks to them for passing this on, we look forward to many more from the Angus glens.

IV10 Fortrose

Today we are in Fortrose on the Black Isle just north of Inverness. We are here to see dolphins with a host of expectant mini people. Having had no luck with Nessie we are desperately trying to find dolphins instead. And Chanonry Point in Fortrose is definitely the place to see them. Except there weren’t any there … arrgghh!

Looking for dolphins at Chanonry Point, Fortrose
Mini person looking for dolphins

You start to question your own self worth when faced with lots of mini people full of unfulfilled expectation. Thank goodness a late burst of reality came to our rescue in the form of the Easter Bunny.

Looking through holes

Sign for IV10 in FortroseOne chap who could have foreseen all this disappointment was Kenneth Mackenzie, the Brahan Seer, Scotland’s Nostradamus. He made many predictions in the 16th century, most of which actually came true. He had a pebble with a hole through which he could see the future. Such pebbles can still be found on the beach at Rosemarkie, the next village to Fortrose. We were sorely tempted to send some down to Theresa May. If she looked through the hole she would be able to see the fruits of her labours … an independent Scotland, a united Ireland and England slowly being sucked into a black hole.

Plaque to the Brahan Seer at Chanonry Point, Fortrose
Memorial stone to the Brahan Seer on Chanonry Point.

Having the ‘second sight‘ can be a bit of a curse though.  When Lady Seaforth, wife of the Earl of Seaforth and reputedly the ugliest woman in Scotland, asked Mackenzie if he could see her husband on his visit to Paris. He said he could, he was fine but refused to elaborate. When she threatened to have him killed unless he told her everything he eventually admitted that the Earl was having a high old time of it in the French capital with several other women. He also predicted the downfall of the House of Seaforth.

These predictions were completely true, however, they were so scandalous she had him dipped head first into a barrel of boiling oil, here on Chanonry Point. Surely, he should have seen that coming! Ironically, as he met his horrific and untimely end, he was probably  comforted by the sight of leaping dolphins just offshore! Okay, maybe not that comforted!Internal view of IV10 in Fortrose

Mission accomplished

Anyway after a few hours of stone skimming and non-existent dolphin watching some sort of sustenance was called for. We ended up here at IV10 (it’s the postcode) on the town’s high street. It was one of these places where you just new as soon as you walked in that it was going to be good. Although descending on them en masse (six adults and five mini people) they were not put out at all. A lady who was half Argentinian, half Greek had us all sorted out in no time and seemed absolutely delighted to be doing it. We had a lunch of fantastic food, couldn’t have been better.

The scone that Pat and I were sharing was also first class. Nicely presented with generous helping of jam and cream … no prepacked stuff here. We like everything about this place, from the excellent deli to the beautiful al fresco eating area. They say that they “aim to offer responsibly sourced, uncomplicated food and drink, made with love and respect“. Mission accomplished IV10, we need more, go-to destinations, like this in the Highlands.

Internal view of IV10 in Fortrose

Unbelievably big holes

We think Kenneth Mackenzie wouldn’t have had too much trouble predicting new and dismal shootings in N.Ireland or even bomb blasts in Sri Lanka. However he might have found it harder to foresee 1000 people being arrested in London for trying to save the planet … or a comedian being elected President of Ukraine. You couldn’t make it up … you really need a great muckle hole in your stone for that sort of thing!

The Chanonry Point lighthouse at Chanonry Point, Fortrose
Chanonry Point lighthouse

IV10 8SX.      tel: 01381 620690         IV10 Café

///youthful.whiplash.green

Dores Inn

Here we are in the tiny village of Dores on the shores of Loch Ness and, not only that, we are still in the EU. After months of fever pitch Brexit guessing, the delay in leaving has left the media wallowing in a sea of nothingness. Thankfully, in order to give the hacks something to do, an invisible black hole has miraculously appeared voraciously sucking in the orbiting wreckage of political careers and credibility. Notre-Dame has also done the media a massive favour by simply burning down. Many years ago, Notre-Dame and its magnificent stone flying buttresses made us realise that maybe we are not as smart as we like to think these days. It’s all been done before even without the aid of modern technology. Anyway, we have gone from 24/7 coverage of Brexit to zero, it’s almost as if it was all just a bad dream.

External view of Dores Inn, Loch Ness
Dores Inn from the beach
Nessie

Does any of this matter in Dores when you have six miniature people to look after? Not a bit of it! In fact after a walk along the beach, keeping a close eye on the water for Nessie, we had nothing other than scones on our minds.

Internal view of Dores Inn, Loch Ness

Unrecorded deaths

Dores Inn is a great wee pub/restaurant, very much at the center of this community. At one time, almost too much at the center of the community. Around here, in times gone by, it was common for deaths not to be recorded at all. Apparently funerals, especially for those of some importance, could become quite riotous … much food and drink was taken. People feared dying simply because of the cost. At the time it was said that it was dangerous to be ill, expensive to die, and ruinous to have a funeral.

A scone at Dores Inn, Loch NessHowever, today in the glorious sunshine we are all very much alive and our only expense will be lunch and a scone. Their beer garden is rather cleverly called the OutDores Inn. However, even though the sun was shining there was a cool breeze coming in off the loch. We were fortunate to get a table inside that could accommodate all fourteen of us. Service was great and we were soon all catered for and Pat and I were sharing a scone. No cream but the scone itself was very good. No topscone unfortunately but we thoroughly enjoyed our time at Dores and look forward to a repeat visit sometime soon.

Unbelievably, Nessie did not make an appearance … maybe tomorrow? An appearance would certainly have displaced black holes and Notre-Dame as headline news. We are ‘almost’ missing the horrendous wall to wall coverage of Brexit. If they keep this up perhaps the whole sorry mess will just be forgotten about? Or perhaps not!

IV2 6TR.         tel: 01463 751203           Dores

///investors.nightlife.poet

Kinlochard Gathering

First it was Gibraltar, then it was Vilnius. Guess where our globe-trotting Trossachs correspondents are now? Would you believe it … the Trossachs!! They have filed a report on the annual Kinlochard Gathering which was held a couple of weeks back.

Although the weather was on the dreich side everyone seems to have had a good time. It begins with the Grand Parade from the Forest Hills hotel to the Village field. “Clan Chief and storyteller Paraig McNeill bearing the Saltire led the Parade followed by the inspiring sound of the Callander Pipe Band and many villagers and guests bearing an impressive array of international flags . It sent a powerful message to the world that Scotland and its people value and welcome our international residents and visitors“.

The programme contained all the usual heavy events but there was also a duck race; a giant sack race; a crown making competition; a teddy bear’s picnic … in short, something for everyone.  As if all this was not enough, amidst great excitement, there was a genuine verified sighting of Nessie  … presumably on her holidays? If the weather deteriorated, revelers were able to retreat to the Village Hall where everyone was protected. As Ivor Cutler would have said, “from the worst of the effects of the fresh air“. Kinlochard 01

Bargain scones

In the hall, our correspondents were duly impressed with what was on offer. “We could only sample the cream scones which were crisp on the outside, with a delicious interior supplemented by an excellent filling of cream and jam. Sorry you could not add the cream and jam yourself but this option was available with the butter and jam variety.  At the price of £2.00 for a tea or coffee plus a cream scone. This must be a contender for the Scottish bargain of the year”. Scone consumption was accompanied by traditional music from the Feis Point Ceilidh Band and the Loch Lomond Ukulele Orchestra. International visitors from France, Belgium, Canada, Japan and USA thoroughly enjoyed the Scottish hospitality. The message from the French and Belgians was very clear … “whatever the outcome of the Brexit fiasco they see Scotland as an integral part of the EU … c’mon Nicola“.

Thanks are due, yet again, to our correspondents who, at last, have decided to do some sconology nearer to home. Delicious as these scones undoubtedly were, unfortunately we cannot categorise them. Without a personal tasting we will just have to make a note (as you should) in next year’s diary. Sunday 16th July 2017. Will Nessie make another appearance?

FK8 3TL      tel: 01877 387 264       Kinlochard Gathering