Tag Archives: Kinlochard

The Gathering

Looking at the title photograph you can probably sense that this post is going to be a little out of the ordinary. If, in 1691, a young  Rob Roy McGregor had been riding from Aberfoyle to his home at the head of Loch Katrine he would have passed this way and the view would have looked exactly like this. Green fields bordering Loch Ard and the mighty Ben Lomond in the distance. He would probably have raised an eyebrow, however, at what was going on in the middle distance … all these brightly coloured things? As he got closer he, no doubt, would have found the giant bouncy castle particularly perplexing. He would, of course, have stumbled on The Gathering at Kinlochard. Not that such an event would have happened in his day without his permission and probably without him being the guest of honour.

Bunting at the Gathering at Kinlochard
Bunting from all the Commonwealth countries

An annual event in this part of the world, we are here because we knew that our Trossachs correspondents would be officiating. This is their natural habitat after all.

The great thing about this Gathering is that it is not great. It’s small and very ordinary in almost every sense of the word. That’s what’s so great about it! Just local folk getting together for a day of eating, drinking, games and music. Temperatures in the mid twenties even had people swimming in the loch to cool off. Every where you looked there were kiddies and grown-ups tossing cabers, tug-of-warring, piping, singing, boating and generally having a wonderful time.

The meaning of life

The whole idea is to raise a little money for the local commumity. We were persuaded to wage some of our life savings on the duck race. Two hundred little yellow plastic ducks get thrown in the local river. We chose duck 42 because, as you know, that number is the “answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything”, however, on this occasion it wasn’t. Not sure where 42 came in or even if it finished.

The monster at the Gathering at Kinlochard
Lucky photo as the Loch Ard monster appeared momentarily. No one else even noticed.

Only one thing could make the occasion more joyous … a scone. As it happened one of our correspondents was the cashier on the cake table in the village hall which was groaning with home-baking. Among all the cupcakes, lemon drizzle cake and millionaires shortbread was heaps of scones. A scone at the Gathering at Kinlochard

The medication benefits for long terms and you don’t feel any necessity for prescriptions over and over.

Pat chose a cheese and chive one and I went for my usual fruit. Now you may think from the photograph that these scones would prove to be a tad on the unexciting side. Not a bit of it they were absolutely delicious. Pat waxed lyrically about hers. Remember, some anonymous volunteer, perhaps several, had probably been up in the wee small hours baking these little wonders. Unfortunately they have to remain ‘uncategorised’ simply because there is no way for readers to access them. Unless, of course, like us, they were here on this particular day. Otherwise they would have been topscones and testament to the good bakers of Kinlochard whoever they were.

The Loch Lomond ukelele band at the Gathering at Kinlochard
The Loch Lomond ukulele band raising funds for Strathcarron Hospice
Fundamental goodness

When you attend events like this where the local community gathers together, for no other reason but simply to be together, you remember man’s fundamental goodness. Man’s willingness to look after and care for each other. To bake cakes and scones for others to enjoy. To provide music for others to enjoy. It’s only a tiny minority of people who create all the trouble … politicians normally and arguably, scone bloggers.External view of the Gathering at KinlochardIf only the world was a bit more like Kinlochard. Every now and again it could get together to celebrate just being human and to make new friends. Not like the dreadful Olympics! Just a bit of fun, some duck racing, a few scones, you know the sort of thing. The US/Iran nuclear crisis would quickly seem like a mere trifle.

Piper on the shores of Loch Ard
A young piper plays his heart out beside the loch

Many thanks to all the many people involved in the organisation of The Gathering. You are all heros. Even our correspondent who charged us full price for our scones before reducing the cost by 50% … we didn’t mind, no really, we didn’t!

The Gathering FB

///jeering.seeing.giants

Forest Hills Revisited

The last time we were at Forest Hills was back in August 2016. Britain was still reeling from the result of the Brexit referendum, David Cameron had vanished into thin air and the Tories were desperately trying to save their party. Not a lot has changed. Back then, however, we had the media and the politician’s favourite distraction … the Olympics. The masses enter a kind of stupefied state where nothing else really matters. While we were at Forest Hills, Team GB had famously beaten Team Vanuatu in the hop,skip and jump event. As we leave the EU this Friday we need another momentous moment like that to distract us from impending disaster. It’s not really a disaster, life will go on, it’s just that we rather like being European. Infinitely preferable to being British with our arcane systems of government.

Ah well, even if we could arrange an Olympics or even a Commonwealth Games before Friday we would have to let everyone beat us … at everything! Otherwise they might not trade with us! And, after we leave Europe, we might be dependent on Vanuatu for goodness sake!

Correspondents

Anyway, you are all very familiar with our international network of correspondents by now. They expand our sconological research to parts that we simply cannot reach.  Sometimes the odd telephone box creeps in as well. Our Trossachs correspondents, of course, are amongst the most adventurous. They could pop up in Gibraltar or Lithuania or Basseterre or Argentina or even 38,000 feet up in the air … there is simply no telling. Today, however, they are back in their natural habitat. They have invited us to help celebrate their wedding anniversary in Kinlochard. We were staying in the hotel but the celebrations were being held in the village hall. While we were waiting for the festivities to begin we thought we should check that scone standards had not slipped since our previous review. Internal view of the Forest Hills Hotel, Kinlochard

Scones at the Forest Hills Hotel, KinlochardWe were relatively early so had the whole lounge to ourselves. Sitting in front of a wonderful log fire our beautifully warmed scones were presented with lots of jam and a generous pot of whipped cream complete with strawberry. What’s not to like? The tea and coffee were all excellent and the scones were just the right size with that lovely crunchy outer and fabulous soft inner. Delighted to report that Forest Hills has indeed retained its topscone award … well done! Of course, we would expect no less from a ‘MacDonald’ Hotel.

Gluten free?

Later, along with about fifty other revellers we had a fabulous evening of eating and drinking with music supplied by the excellent Chapter Four folk band. When it came to the ceilidh, suffice to say that many willows were stripped with all the usual sophisticated aplomb accorded to that particular dance. Scones at the Kinlochard Village HallBack at the hotel, we retired to bed, happy but exhausted. Next day, however, saw us at the village hall again. This time it was to partake of scones …. gluten free scones, another first for us. Oh, dear, two scones in as many days! They had been made specially by a local lady who has a gluten free diet. Delicious but, of course, we couldn’t make an award … there’s no way for readers to access them.

Great way to round off the weekend’s celebrations though and for everyone to say their farewells. Congratulations and huge thanks to our super generous hosts. When they come down off cloud nine we hope they remember to get back to their sconey day jobs.

Farewell to Europe

‘Farewell to Europe’ (should be a lament for the bagpipes) is probably not going to happen on Friday. At least we don’t think it will actually happen on that day … who knows, nobody knows, it might, it might not? It’s like the UK has decided to commit suicide but can’t make up its mind how to do it! It wouldn’t be so bad if it just hurt us but it could also wreck the Irish economy and potentially start ‘the troubles’ all over again. That’s bad! Hopefully, what with all the delays, they will eventually realise that suicide isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

FK8 3TL    tel: 0344 879 9057      MacDonald Forest Hills Hotel & Spa

///taxpayers.globe.woof

ps: We are always keen to promote new correspondents and were delighted to receive this report from our rookie ‘wildlife correspondents’. They venture into all sorts of out of the way places in pursuit of flora and fauna. Hence they found themselves in the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh having afternoon tea when their fledgling sconological urges kicked in and drove them to file their first report. Scones at the Balmoral Hotel, Edinburgh

Although they did not feel sufficiently qualified to formally award a topscone they, nevertheless, could not imagine a scone being any ‘topper’. A very promising start, our rookies showing definite potential. Many thanks L&R. We will, of course, endeavour to deliver an official verdict. That is once we have saved up enough to enter the Balmoral’s hallowed halls.

K 6 telephone box in Oxfordpps: The Pedant has just filed a report on this somewhat delapidated  Lion Foundry K6 in Oxford. It goes under the What3 Words code of ///loved.lonely.vivid which rather belies its appearance and its location in the centre of the city. He didn’t say if it was operational but it looks like it may have been used to relay instructions to the Oxford team in the boat race last Sunday.

The Woodhouse

For those of you who know the tiny community of Kinlochard, here’s a question. What would a group of fifty Russians and Greeks be doing in the village? While you are cogitating let us tell you why we are here. As if our Trossachs correspondents don’t do enough, scouring places like Gibraltar and Lithuania for scones, they very kindly invited us to a ‘Scottish night’ at the village hall. They have already had very successful Indian and Italian nights. What a night it was! Excellent Scottish themed food and drink, and even better company.

Just walking the half mile from the house to the hall was exciting. Us townies tend to forget what ‘dark’ means until you are in a place like this. It’s dark! Goodness knows how Rob Roy and his merry band got around without iPhone torches! Unlike larger towns and cities, little places like Kinlochard certainly know how to generate community spirit. And it’s a really nice experience. There were no Russians or Greeks at our night however.

View across Loch Ard with Ben Lomond in the distance
Loch Ard with Ben Lomond in the distance
The Moss

The next day was beautiful. After a wee walk round the village we had to head for home  but decided to visit Flanders Moss on the way. Having attended a fascinating Scottish Wildlife Trust talk about the Moss the previous week we thought we should check it out. Again, it is one of these places that you know of as one of Scotland’s chief defences against the English in times gone by and as a place you drive past frequently. Not as a place you actually ever visit.

View from the viewing tower at Flanders Moss
part of Flanders Moss with Ben Lomond on the left and Ben Ledi on the right
Strictly Come Sconing

It’s a designated National Nature Reserve and now it has a magnificent high viewing platform that provides a brilliant vantage point looking out towards Aberfoyle and the Lake of Menteith. Don’t think there is any connection with Flanders in Belgium. The name seems to be a corruption of an old gaelic word. On the edge of the Moss near to Kippen you come to The Woodhouse. Another of these café farm shops that seem to be popping up everywhere. Interior view of the Woodhouse Café, KippenYou would think there would be a cut-off point where there were too many and they would become  unsustainable? Not yet, they all seem to be really busy and

The Woodhouse is no exception. After our walk, lunch was definitely order of the day however there was no way we could pass up the chance of a scone test so that you, dear sconeys, can know that on your own visit to Flanders Moss it is safe to come here for sustenance. The things we do!

They are quite big so we decided to share one between the four of us … one of the biggest testing panels we have ever assembled. A sort of scone version of Strictly. Scones at the Woodhouse Café, KippenThe tea and scone was presented beautifully with an eclectic range of crockery. And with locally produced butter and cream as well as homemade strawberry jam – four 10s so far. Taste was excellent as well so, without too much deliberation it was declared a topscone. Well done The Woodhouse!

St Andrews day

Oh yes, the Russians and Greeks! They were in Kinlochard for a St Andrew’s night dinner … St Andrew, of course, being the patron saint of Russia and Greece as well as Scotland … but you all knew that! Quite why they should find themselves in Kinlochard however is still a bit of a mystery. Earlier today, St Andrew’s Day, the Prime Minister made a speech saying how proud she was of everything Scottish (the oil price is soaring) while simultaneously Angus Robertson was jeered for wishing the Commons a happy St Andrew’s day. Just have a great day everyone!Cake display at the Woodhouse Café, Kippen

FK8 3JA       tel: 01786 870156        The Woodhouse FB

Forest Hills Hotel

Dead end scones

This is a real dead-end kind of place. But only because it is at the end of a dead-end road! To be precise it is not quite at the end of the road because you can go on a few miles to Stronachlachar and Inversnaid but you have no choice but to come back the same way. Having said that, Rob Roy, whose country this is, probably had a hundred ways in and out of Kinlochard. He wasn’t driving a car though. Staying in the village for a few days, courtesy of our intrepid and generous Trossachs correspondents, afforded us a chance to explore the local scone scene. Previously we have reported on one of our favourite places, the Wee Blether in the centre of the village. But there are scones everywhere in the Trossachs. Forest Hills 05

Forest Hills Hotel

The Forest Hills Hotel was just along the road and seemed like a good place to start. It holds a particularly fond memory for me from almost forty years ago. I was the official photographer at a family wedding. At one point I remember assembling the bride and groom and both sets of parents in front of a fireplace for a group shot. Forest Hills 01The hotel has undergone massive changes since then and I wondered if the fireplace had survived almost four decades of modernisation and change. It had, and still stands proud, pretty much as I remembered it. In fact the main part of the hotel was remarkably unchanged.

How many scones do you need?

Forty years ago we were sipping champagne which had been transported in suitcases all the way from France, but this time, of course, we were on scone safari. Pat just wanted a cup of tea so it was up to me to order a scone for myself. Turned out they came in twos (one plain, one fruit) but something was obviously lost in translation because when they arrived there was two for Pat as well! Heyho, she scoffed them anyway, no problem! Forest Hills 08Three different jams as well as a generous bowl of cream and the scones themselves were just the way we like them … warm, not too big, slightly crunchy on the outside and beautifully soft and light inside… mmmmm, topscone!

Nowadays the hotel has all the necessary accoutrements to make it into a ‘spa’ resort. It is slightly ironic, however, to see lots of people pounding treadmills in a hot sweaty gym when they are surrounded by beautiful countryside and hills where they could be getting much better exercise whilst breathing pure clear Trossachs air. What is that all about?

View from the hotel towards Loch Ard with endless exercise opportunities
View from the hotel towards Loch Ard with endless exercise opportunities

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Is the UK a sporting powerhouse

Perhaps, more to the point at this particular time, what are the Olympics all about? Once a noble amateur sporting spectacle, in recent years it has succumbed to the powers of capitalism. Its lost it’s moral compass. Too much flag waving by multi-millionaires and pontificating by knights of the realm! The world would be a much better place if there was no professionalism in sport. Can’t think of a single good thing to come from it. If Team GB does well there will be calls for vast amounts of money to be invested to maintain our place in the world as a great sporting powerhouse. If it does badly there will be calls for vast amounts of money to be invested to transform us into a great sporting powerhouse. As if it matters? Never mind Russia’s drug taking, financial and medical advantages over others are just another form of cheating!

The fact that we might beat Team Vanuatu in the hop, skip and jump is supremely irrelevant to almost everything that really matters. It’s all a grotesque nonsense and a waste of money.

not a cossetted Olympic event ... a proper swimming event at the loch
not a cossetted Olympic event … a proper swimming event at the loch

On top of all that we are expected to listen to endless banal drivel from multi-millionaire commentators and pundits. Olympic tennis turns out to be a rerun of Wimbledon? Olympic golf … we despair! The sooner they have ordinary dads building an IKEA Billy bookcase as an Olympic event the better. Rant over, must get back to the scones, they’re very good … gold medal even.

FK8 3TL         tel: 0344 879 9057          Forest Hills Hotel

Kinlochard Gathering

First it was Gibraltar, then it was Vilnius. Guess where our globe-trotting Trossachs correspondents are now? Would you believe it … the Trossachs!! They have filed a report on the annual Kinlochard Gathering which was held a couple of weeks back.

Although the weather was on the dreich side everyone seems to have had a good time. It begins with the Grand Parade from the Forest Hills hotel to the Village field. “Clan Chief and storyteller Paraig McNeill bearing the Saltire led the Parade followed by the inspiring sound of the Callander Pipe Band and many villagers and guests bearing an impressive array of international flags . It sent a powerful message to the world that Scotland and its people value and welcome our international residents and visitors“.

The programme contained all the usual heavy events but there was also a duck race; a giant sack race; a crown making competition; a teddy bear’s picnic … in short, something for everyone.  As if all this was not enough, amidst great excitement, there was a genuine verified sighting of Nessie  … presumably on her holidays? If the weather deteriorated, revelers were able to retreat to the Village Hall where everyone was protected. As Ivor Cutler would have said, “from the worst of the effects of the fresh air“. Kinlochard 01

Bargain scones

In the hall, our correspondents were duly impressed with what was on offer. “We could only sample the cream scones which were crisp on the outside, with a delicious interior supplemented by an excellent filling of cream and jam. Sorry you could not add the cream and jam yourself but this option was available with the butter and jam variety.  At the price of £2.00 for a tea or coffee plus a cream scone. This must be a contender for the Scottish bargain of the year”. Scone consumption was accompanied by traditional music from the Feis Point Ceilidh Band and the Loch Lomond Ukulele Orchestra. International visitors from France, Belgium, Canada, Japan and USA thoroughly enjoyed the Scottish hospitality. The message from the French and Belgians was very clear … “whatever the outcome of the Brexit fiasco they see Scotland as an integral part of the EU … c’mon Nicola“.

Thanks are due, yet again, to our correspondents who, at last, have decided to do some sconology nearer to home. Delicious as these scones undoubtedly were, unfortunately we cannot categorise them. Without a personal tasting we will just have to make a note (as you should) in next year’s diary. Sunday 16th July 2017. Will Nessie make another appearance?

FK8 3TL      tel: 01877 387 264       Kinlochard Gathering

The Wee Blether Tearoom

Direction finder at the Wee Blether Tearoom, KinlochardBefore we start and for those of you who do not speak ‘pure Scots’ perhaps we should explain ‘wee blether’. It is when people get together and gossip about anything and everything. A blether can also be a noun. The act of blethering or someone who blethers .. tells stories not necessarily based in fact. You remember an earlier post about the MP for Shetland who mislead his constituents so as to get elected. In English you would call him a liar, pure and simple. However, in Scots, if we wanted to be less harsh, we might call him ‘a wee blether’ .. got it?

Meanwhile back in the real world, Russia is bombing Syria, the US is bombing Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia is bombing Yemen and Britain’s nuclear submarines patrol endlessly and uselessly. Fortunately, in the midst of this mess  the Wee Blether Tearoom is a perfect oasis of light hearted good sense. We had had it on good authority from a couple of local Kinlochardians (or whatever you call people from Kinlochard) that this place was worth a visit. They were not wrong.

Soup and bread

The menu reminds you that “we are not a fast food establishment, not even a restaurant, we’re a small family run tearoom, we strive to provide the best quality food as quickly as we can” .. a good start! Notice at the Wee Blether Tearoom, KinlochardIt is up to the minute with deals, in fact everywhere you look there are offers that have to be read with some care. However, for not taking themselves too seriously Ricky and Shona (the owners) do a great job of combining a lovely relaxed atmosphere and great food. Sitting in the sun looking out over Loch Ard it is not difficult to relax and the sweet potato and coconut soup accompanied by almost a half loaf of wonderfully soft brown bread was absolutely delicious.  A scone at the Wee Blether Tearoom, Kinlochard

When our scones arrived however we realised that the soup and bread might have been a mistake .. they don’t do dainty scones and they came fully loaded with jam and cream. Now  we have said in the past that we prefer to load our own scones. Make a scone of two halves then load and eat each half separately. In our opinion that’s the way it should be done. On this occasion at least we were provided with a fork and spoon with which to tackle them. They were fab!

Sweeties

Even although there was not a single kid in the place Ricky came round dishing out sweets to everyone. Like the big kids that we are, we dutifully took them. Nice touch though. We also took up their latest offer, pay double for one scone and get the second free .. great! This place is friendly and well named. If you came here on your own it wouldn’t be long before you were having a wee blether with someone. Well done to Ricky and Shona, great place and topscone.

teapot collection at the Wee Blether Tearoom, Kinlochard
teapot collection

FK8 3TL      tel: 01877 387337         Wee Blether Tearoom