Tag Archives: UK

english, Ordinary, Scones

John Forrest Bakery

Video 5 Comments

When we write about places like Claridges, the Connaught and even the Bingham Hotel in Richmond, readers could be forgiven for thinking that we only frequent the well-to-do areas of London. Only mix with the upper crust! Well, you would not be far wrong. The thing is though, it just sort of works out that way … honest! We don’t seek these places out! After our sojourn the other day to the Tide Tables Cafe in wealthy Richmond, today we find ourselves in the Kings Road in Chelsea. Home of Sloane Rangers and Hooray Henrys, but not by choice … we are here on an important errand to fix an incapacitated handbag. It just so happens that the Handbag Clinic is here on the Kings Road. Yes, they do have clinics for handbags, however, the less you know about that the better.

Supercars

Famous for its Chelsea buns, the important thing was to check out a Chelsea scone and fill that gap in our collective sconological knowledge base. This part of London offers you the opportunity to pay ten times what you would pay anywhere else on just about anything. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration … but only slight. The streets are lined with super cars … McLarens, Ferraris, Maseratis. The sort of cars that, if we were to sell our house and our children, we would still not be able to afford. Sorry kids if you are reading this, it is just a turn of phrase, it does not mean that you are not worth much. It just means that if you were worth more we might get a supercar … okay!!

It’s ironic that these cars, capable of 200mph, would throw a major party if, by some miracle, they ever got to reach 30mph in London. For most of them, that’s a rather forlorn ambition. Some of them are painted matt black like stealth bombers. Initially we thought this might be to make them invisible to traffic wardens. However then we remembered that the owners of these cars would not be the slightest bit bothered with a hundred parking tickets. So, in a way, the paint finish doesn’t matter … except to look a bit pretentious, of course, and make it difficult for the butler to polish. Golly gosh, what a laugh that would be!

The holy hour

Okay, for those of you thinking that finding a scone in such surroundings should be a piece of cake … not so! It was after 2pm but everywhere we went we were refused. Scones only served between three and five … what? We knew the world had gone mad but this surely is the last straw!

However, there is something oddly right about this. Any other food item you could have any old time of the day but scones, as befits their status of course, only in this blessed two hour window. The conversation goes something like this: Me “may I have a scone please?” Waiter “Is it three o’clock, sir?” Me: “no, it’s half past two”. Waiter: “Yes sir you may have a scone but you will have to wait half an hour.” Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaAbsolutely no use to us though because we had yet another even more important errand than rescuing an ailing handbag to run. We simply could not hang around until the holy hour when scones would appear, presumably, as if by magic.

Now, readers should know by now that we are not ones for giving up. However, just as we were about to do just that, we stumbled on the John Forrest Bakery. It had scones that could be bought any time of the day or night, yeagh! It wasn’t ideal though … no seats inside and the few they had outside were all taken.

Not to worry, they provided us with two teas in polystyrene cups, a ham & cheese roll … and a scone in a white paper bag … all for £5.10. We take back our previous comment about everything being ludicrously expensive. We then slunk off up a nearby alleyway looking for somewhere to sit and eat. A scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, ChelseaFortunately it led to an enclosed area surrounded by rather utilitarian looking apartment blocks. The hidden side of Chelsea where real people live. In the middle was a kiddie’s play park with a couple of wooden benches. And we had it all to ourselves. It was wonderfully quiet after the hustle and bustle going on only a few yards away.

Trials and tribulations

The scone, which the John Forrest folks had kindly buttered for us had loads of fruit but it wasn’t the best by a long chalk. At least it served to illustrate the trials and tribulations we endure in order to bring our sconey readers news from the UK’s nether regions. Actually, as we sat there on our park bench with our strong tea and very fruity scone, we did not feel trialed or tribulated at all. We did, in fact, feel rather blessed with the whole experience. Without it we would never have discovered this quiet little sanctuary.Play park where we ate the scone from the John Forrest Bakery, Kings Road, Chelsea

Sanctuary is what Theresa May needs as forces range against her from all sides. And she demands that the EU treats the UK with respect. She wants respect from the club we are leaving presumably because we think it’s crap! In the circumstances, we think the EU has been extremely respectful. Meanwhile, no one in government has a clue what is going on. The opposition is worse than useless. As a result the entire country is paralysed in a kind of collective nervous breakdown. What fun!

Picture this

If we had to choose a picture to depict Britain’s current sEdvard Munch's The Screamtate of mental health there would be only one contender, Edvard Munch’s, The Scream. Even inanimate objects are having issues because the Handbag Clinic was doing a roaring trade. However, what will Brexit mean for handbag clinics?

SW10 0LR      tel: 020 7352 5848        John Forrest Bakery FB

ps: we did see a couple of K2 telephone boxes but were unable to photograph them.

Ordinary, Scones

The Clock Tower Café

2 Comments

Here we are back in Pittenweem. The Pop-up Café we reviewed at the beginning of August during the week-long Pittenweem Arts Festival has disappeared. Doubtless to reappear next year at the same time. However, you don’t need an arts festival as an excuse to visit this little seaside village. It’s great to visit anytime and this time we are in the Clock Tower Café. When you look at the multitude of picturesque little lanes and wynds you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing much, other than some fishing and the odd arts festival, has ever happened here. Looks can be deceiving however. ‘Twas not always thus! The Clock Tower, which takes

External view at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem
The Tolbooth from the Clock Tower Café

its name from the nearby Tolbooth, can give an insight into livelier, if more disturbing, times.

In 1705, Patrick Morton, son of a local blacksmith, made a series of witchcraft accusations against some of his neighbours which resulted in them all being unquestioningly incarcerated in pitch black dungeons underneath the Tolbooth, part of the Parish Church.

No luck

Some starved to death but one, Janet Cornfoot, managed to escape.  She got about ten miles to the village of Leuchers where she sought help from the local minister, George Gordon. He was more interested in the reward for her recapture, however, so she was promptly returned to Pittenweem. No luck!

There, a mob tied her up, beat her severely, and dragged her by the ankles down to the harbour where she was dangled upside down from the masthead of one of the boats. People then threw rocks at her as she swung to and fro. Still no luck! Eventually she was taken down and a door placed on top of her which was then laden with heavy rocks to crush her. Finally, a horse and cart was driven over her before she was thrown in an unmarked grave having been refused a Christian burial. Oh Janet, if it wasn’t for bad luck! In the end, Morton, who made the original accusations, proved to be a thoroughly untrustworthy liar. However no action was ever taken against him or any of the mob. Internal view of the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem

Church of Scotland

When we recoil in disgust at some of the barbarous acts beamed into our living rooms from around the Middle East in the name of religion, it is perhaps salutary to bear in mind that, not that long ago, the Church in Scotland was behaving in an equally barbaric fashion.  Thank goodness it is slightly more enlightened nowadays. Internal view of the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem
Anyway, even though Janet Cornfoot was undoubtedly dragged down the High Street past this place on her way to the harbour we did not let that put us off. No, no, no, the Clock Tower had scones, so in we went with barely a passing thought for poor Janet. There’s a few tables in the front part of the café but we went through to an area at the rear where there were plenty more. The staff were lovely. They quickly had us sorted with a light lunch and a scone to share. A scone at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem

There was lots going on with people coming and going all the time and exchanging banter. It had a nice friendly atmosphere. The scone was a slightly odd shape but good nevertheless … no topscone but good. Pittenweem is fortunate to have many good cafés.

Janet and Donald

Back then, however, Janet Cornfoot needn’t have turned to Donald Trump for sympathy or understanding. We are not huge John McCain fans, he was a bit of a warmonger, but he did spend more than five years as a POW in Vietnam and that must have been tough. So when Trump said “he’s not a war hero, he was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” presumably he wouldn’t have got on well with Janet. Probably would have been part of the mob. That figures, doesn’t it?

View at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem
one of the many tiny lanes
Extraordinary achievments

Recently the SNP became the second largest political party in the UK, overtaking the Conservatives. An extraordinary achievement when you consider they represent only 8% of the UK population. Also, at a time when the UK needs a strong opposition like never before, the Labour Party, by far the biggest party in the UK, manages to render itself worse than useless over a mere form of words. An extraordinary achievement. As a result the third largest party in the UK remains all powerful. While simultaneously making a complete mess of things. Also an extraordinary achievement. If our Janet had a grave she would be spinning.

KY10 2LA     tel: 01333 313111    Clock Tower Café TA

Scones, weird

The Almond Tree Café

We have been aware of the Almond Tree Café in our home town of Falkirk for many moons but for some reason have never ventured inside. Maybe it’s because it’s tucked away from the main shopping area near what used to be the Glasgow Buildings. A huge tenement which, at one time, housed hundreds of people right in the town centre. When folk complain that the centre of Falkirk is dying they probably forget that not so long ago, lots of people actually lived in or near the High Street. It made the town centre much more vibrant than it is today. Now, no one lives there.

Where the Glasgow Buildings used to be is now a car park. The only good thing that can be said about it is that parking is free after 3pm. Hence we were using it this afternoon. That’s how we ended up at the Almond Tree Café. Internal view of the Almond Tree Café, Falkirk

Thunderbolts

It is quite a big modern place, with a large seating area upstairs. Ssurprise, surprise, turns out that it is part of the adjacent Struthers Memorial Church. It had never occurred to us that the two were connected in any way. The bookshop full of Christian books and the fact that the almond tree is mentioned quite a lot in the Bible (Aaron’s rod etc) should, perhaps, have made it pretty obvious. Sometimes we can be a bit slow on the uptake. The Struthers MC is a Pentacostal church founded on the memory of the Rev J P Struthers. He was a powerful preacher and children’s author in Greenock until his death in 1915. He was actually struck down at a relatively young age while preaching. Must have said something wrong!

Bizarre systems

Many regard the SMC as a cult where they think of themselves as anointed and speak in tongues. Not exactly our cup of tea but, lo and behold,  they did have scones … cherry and coconut scones to be precise. Weird scones to go with their weird servery. You pay for what you want then you have to walk round the a corner to collect a cup then bring it back and fill it up from a machine … bizarre. They definitely need some divine guidance here or even plain common sense would do. A scone at the Almond Tree Café, FalkirkAt the end of the day the scones were actually very good though the coffee wasn’t great nor were the people behind the counter. Probably volunteers so perhaps we shouldn’t criticise too much.

The SMC only has about 300 members over seven or eight bases in the UK so goodness knows how they make it pay. The Almond Tree itself is only open about five hours a day Tuesday to Saturday which wouldn’t make it a successful business and the shutters were down as we were leaving at 3.30pm?? The sign for the Almond Tree Café, Falkirk

Anyway, speaking in tongues, or glossolalia as it is properly known, is defined as: the fluid vocalising of speech-like syllables that lack any readily comprehended meaning. The Secretary of State for Scotland, David ‘Fluffy’ Mundell, has raised glossolalia to dizzying new heights at Westminster this week. It’s ironic that Westminster is defending what it is doing in the name of democracy. Have they forgotten that devolution was forced on an extremely unwilling UK by the EU. Why? Because the UK was deemed the most undemocratic state in Europe and the EU felt that devolution would give parts of the UK some sort of say in how they were governed.

Wringing hands

Now, Fluffy, a complete waste of oxygen where representing Scotland’s interests is concerned, has decreed that decisions taken in the Scottish Parliament are of no value whatsoever if Westminster just happens to disagree with them. What sort of devolution is that? He has also said that Scotland is no longer a partner in the UK, we are part of the UK. When did that happen? The UK is registered with the UN as: 2 countries (England and Scotland), 1 principality (Wales) and 1 province (N. Ireland). It probably doesn’t matter any more … the Union is bust. Meanwhile the Labour party has mastered the difficult art of simultaneously wringing their hands whilst sitting on them.  Little wonder the SNP has seen its membership sore in the past few days.

FK1 1PW       tel: 01324 626000        The Almond Tree

Ordinary, Scones

Margo’s Bakehouse

We know, it’s been over three weeks since Ham House, our last scone! Some of you probably thought we had flown the country, ended up in jail .. or died. No, we have just been very busy and sconology has had to take a back seat … pathetic, we know. No more though! Back in the spring, one of our correspondents, ‘the Laird’, gave us a tip off about an establishment in Polmont. It was called “The Wee Calf” but, a few days later, when we went to investigate we were thwarted. It had closed down permanently. The new management team were there, however, and they informed us it would be reopening quite soon.

No frills

Obviously this was not good for us at the time, but now, after our recent sconological hiatus, we decided to reinvestigate. It is only a couple of miles from home and we had an hour or so to spare. Aldi sign near Margo's Bakehouse, PolmontIt’s still in the same place, tucked up the side of Aldi’s supermarket which has a huge sign welcoming you to its Polmont branch … goodness knows where they thought Polmont was when they were making the poster. Under its new owners the Wee Calf has been reincarnated as Margo’s Bakehouse. The unprepossessing exterior is carried on into the interior. This is a no frills kind of place but who cares if the scones are good? Internal view of Margo's Bakehouse, Polmont

Big is more

Well they were good but they were also ginormous. Probably the biggest we have ever come across. Thank goodness we had opted to share one. Having decided against the usual prepacked tub of cornish cream we just had some butter and a generous helping of strawberry jam … but then it had to be generous to deal with such a big scone. A scone at Margo's Bakehouse, PolmontIn fact, all the food here seemed to be on the generous side. You know that saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” well that definitely holds good here even if you did want to eat it … everything is big.

In the club

That saying could also be used to typify Britain’s ‘strong’ negotiating position in the Brexit talks that seems to run along the lines … “we want all the benefits of being in the club but we don’t want to actually be in the club” … brilliant! It looks like the EU will have to explain the facts of life to the UK in words of no more than one syllable. Anyway, the staff in Margo’s were very friendly and helpful. We hope that they continue to prosper. However, maybe persuade Steven, the chef, to curb his enthusiasm when making the scones. Thanks to ‘the Laird’.

FK2 0PZ      tel: 01324 720007       Margo’s Bakehouse

K6 telephone box at Cricklade in the Cotswolds from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow Another correspondent, ‘the Pedant’, has reported a K6 outside a Thai restaurant in Cricklade in the Cotswolds. It’s in a pretty sorry state but is interesting in that it was made by the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. Before it closed this foundry was located in Possilpark but it was originally situated just behind the Saracen’s Head pub which opened in 1755 and is still thriving today. Testament to the good drinking folk of Glasgow. It boasts a real witch’s head in a display case on the bar. We think it’s a pub that could probably tell a few stories.

Sir Giles Gilbert Scott

Since we seem to have acquired quite a few telephone box spotters perhaps we should say a little more about them. There were K1 to K8 models designed but some never got beyond the prototype stage. The K2 was too big and expensive and the K3 was prone to breakages. The K5 barely got off the drawing board but the K6, designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott in 1936, was by far the most successful. K2 Sir John Soane's Mausoleum in Old StPancras ChurchyardThe design for the roof of the K6 is inspired by the mausoleum of Sir John Soane in St Pancreas churchyard. We had thought that K6s were made completely of cast iron but apparently all the doors are made of teak. Some 60,000 were produced and there are still around 20% remaining around the country.

BS381C-Red538

So iconic are these boxes that nowadays you can even buy a K6 sofa.K6 sofaYou can get your very own K6 sofa by clicking here. For the pedants amongst us, the K6s were painted  “currant red”. However, the K8, introduced in 1968, was the brighter “poppy red”. That became the standard for all boxes when they were repainted. Therefore, should you happen to have a K6 in your garden, or bedroom, it should be painted in the slightly darker shade BS381C-Red538. Bet you really wanted to know that. Only on allaboutthescones! Many thanks to ‘the Pedant’ for the photos.

Ordinary, Scones

La Barantine

So here we are in France at a nice little boulangerie/patiserrie! Okay, okay, after the last two posts from our home town we thought we should try and give the impression that we have become a little more outward looking. Well we have actually but only as far as Edinburgh!  SMUT in the Grassmarket at Edinburgh International FestivalThe Edinburgh International Festival was in full swing! Absolutely thousands of people all over the place. Just trying to walk down the Royal Mile becomes a tactical nightmare dodging the performers, leaflet distributors and tourists.

There were also clues that the Fringe Festival was alive and well. We met ‘Sven from Sweden‘ who had a sizeable crowd enthralled with his antics. The climax of Sven’s performance was to surmount an unsteady pile of IKEA furniture with an IKEA microwave on top, remove a plate of IKEA Swedish meatballs from the microwave, then spin the plate of meatballs on his head while juggling with three IKEA toilet roll holders complete with toilet rolls. You simply do not get cultural insights like this every day. Sweden seems like a fun place!

Contending with the milling hordes soon take its toll however so it wasn’t long before we were in need of some refreshment. Having done Sweden, the next in line was France in the form of La Barantine. Amazingly it was almost empty when we went in and we could have chosen from virtually any seat. It did not last however, a few minutes later it was very busy indeed. Just like everywhere else! You had to place your order at the counter. Rather oddly for this city where almost all counter staff are from eastern europe, in La Barantine they actually seemed to be from France … promising!

They had scones but only blueberry and raspberry … not so promising! A raspberry and blueberry scone at La Barantine patisserie, EdinburghWhen they arrived at our table they looked ‘interesting’, served on a rustic piece of slate with actual Scottish butter. It seems you have to come to a French café to get Scottish produce … good for them! We wondered if we would manage the Union coffee, however, without gagging. As it happened it was all very good. The scone was not as heavy as it looked. It was very moist but light at the same time and had obviously been freshly prepared. We swithered long and hard about whether these were topscones but in the end we felt they were just a tad ‘odd’ for such a prestigious award … pity!Internal view of La Barantine patisserie, Edinburgh

The Union

After convincing ourselves that the “Union Hand Roasted Coffee” referred to the EU rather than the UK, it was fine as well. The name actually refers to a union between the roasters and their Guatemalan farmers … so that’s good. Even though Edinburgh is completely bonkers in August it is also great fun and a great advertisement for Scotland. In spite of the multitude of people of all sorts of nationalities we don’t think there has even been the slightest hint of trouble in the entire month. We were just wondering what the chances were of meeting some Scottish folk when suddenly three emerged from the crowd. They were imposters from Italy … vive le EU!Three 'Scotsmen' at the Edinburgh International FestivalEH1 2JP    tel: 0131 226 4927       La Barantine

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Wee Big Shop

Well … the morning after the night before … devastation. Who is going to have to do the decent thing and get hitched? Guess it could be said that the Tories in their never ending quest to sort out their internal party politics, have led us directly towards the “coalition of chaos”. That’s they were banging on about throughout the election campaign. Here’s us thinking that they were advocating voting for them to avoid that. Silly us.  Harsh reality means that Theresa May must now seek some sort of marriage with an equally unsavoury bunch in the DUP. Itself a damaged party in a damaged parliament. It remains to be seen  what sort of dowry will be extracted by the DUP. Whatever happens it is liable to be an unholy alliance.

Maybe the answer is for Theresa and Arlene Foster to hook up here in Gretna Green and undergo an ‘unconventional’ marriage. Given the current state of British politics nothing would surprise us. When we visited Gretna we had a scone here in the Wee Big Shop. It’s a kind of tardis, hence the name. Interior view of the Wee Big Shop in Gretna GreenThe place is swarming with tourists, Chinese, American, Japanese, you name it. They are all here rushing around buying tat before getting back on their buses and heading off to buy more tat in Edinburgh.  Scones at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

Runaway marriages

The café here is big as well and obviously caters for busloads all the time judging by the number of scones on display. The picture above is just a small selection. You are faced with a battery of different machines from which you know you can get tea or coffee in all its various forms but just no idea how to do it. Eventually some of the serving staff arrive to salvage the situation. Even for them it takes a while. Why not just serve the stuff in the first place? It would be so much easier and pleasanter. Scone at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

It ensures hormonal balance and strengthens your body to recover from the strenuous cialis cialis uk exercises which facilitates recovery process. Medically this is levitra from canadian pharmacy known as Benzoylmethlecgonine. Apart from this, commander cialis choose a profession, which doesn’t require you to use any electronic mechanism or pumping bulb to create vacuum. It is advisable for tadalafil for sale a diabetic to consume more food of reduced quantity in lieu of few meals of great quantity. We eventually got to our table with our scone. No cream, unless you wanted the ubiquitous Rhodda’s Cornish yuk stuff. It was edible, that’s all we are saying. This whole place, which is supposed to give you the ultimate in romantic weddings, is entirely geared towards hordes of tourists. Although not a bad thing in itself, doesn’t seem particularly romantic to us.

It started because the law in England allowed parents to stop a wedding if either of the participants were under 21. Whereas in Scotland, they could get married without parental consent. Also, provided there were two witnesses anybody could conduct the ceremony. Usually the blacksmith. Gretna was the first place over the border so this where the youngsters would come for their “runaway marriages”. Wedding picture at the Wee Big Shop in Gretna Green

Strong and stable

As you can see, even though we are over 21, we tried out the blacksmith’s ceremony. Romantic or what? As far as we are concerned though this would be the last place on earth to get married unless you really, really, really had to. Oh yes, Theresa and Arlene really really really have to. It will not end well. Next week, as the promised “strong and stable” UK enters into EU Brexit negotiations looking like complete plonkers, we don’t imagine that will end well either. Interior view of the Wee Big Shop in Gretna GreenDG16 5EA          tel: 01461 339912           The Wee Big Shop

Scones

Café Gandolfi

2 Comments

Believe it or not this restaurant, Café Gandolfi, derived it’s named from a camera. The famous plate camera made for 120 years by Louis Gandolfi and his family in London.

Gandolfi cameras

And believe or not, at the risk of appearing much much more ancient than I actually am, I did all of my training at Napier College in Edinburgh using these cameras. It wasn’t that long ago … honest!

Picture of a 5"x4" Gandolfi plate camera
Gandolfi 5″x4″ plate camera

At the time, PhotoShop had not even been thought of so all converging verticals and other distortions had to be corrected using camera movements. And heaven help you if you got it wrong by a few millimetres. You were sent back out again until you got it right!

When I see the ease with which photographs are taken nowadays, even I can hardly believe that this is what we used to use. Complete with a dark cloth over the head so that you could see the upside-down 5″x4″ image on the ground glass. Seems like another world. Recently we dropped in on a photographer friend at Wildgrass Studios near Lix Toll and imagine my surprise when he said “Bill, I have to let you see my new camera“. I expected the latest digital whizbang thingy but instead he dragged out a huge box from which he proudly produced an old 10″x12” plate camera. And  he uses it to produce stunning images that he sells online … brilliant!

As a plooky youth I did not really appreciate the fabulous workmanship in these hand crafted items and usually lusted after the all-metal MPP or Sinar equivalents … oh, the foolishness of youth!

Photographers and scones
Picture of stained glass at Café Gandolfi
one of Gandolfi’s stained glass pieces
Picture of artwork at Café Gandolfi
not the angel of the north – part of a permanent exhibit

Another photographer, Iain Mackenzie, who hailed from the Isle of Lewis, did appreciate them however. In 1979 he decided to start up a restaurant in the old Merchant City, a very run down part of Glasgow at that time. He opted to call it Café Gandolfi. Presumably to reflect the fine craftmanship he hoped to reproduce with his uniquely Scottish food. With it he introduced the first cappuccino machine to Glasgow. It gave the city a taste of the flourishing café society it enjoys today.

We were slightly fearful that such a trendsetting place would find scones a wee bit mundane. Our fears were groundless. We were told that scones were available upstairs in Bar Gandolfi. So up we went! This is a relatively new addition but it is very much in the Gandolfi style. They normally have lots of art on display but unfortunately we visited in the few days between their monthly exhibitions.

Not to worry we were looking forward to our Gandolfi scones … and when they arrived we were not disappointed. They were just the way we like them, crunchy outside and soft in the middle. Picture of a scone at Café GandolfiThere was no cream but the jam and butter more than made up for that. After much deliberation, however, we decided that they just missed out on topscone. But only by a very fine whisker, pity! Louis Gandolfi was an Italian immigrant. Like lots of other immigrants, he decided to move here and establish businesses which would help and contribute to the overall well-being of both themselves and the UK. In other words, they expected, like most immigrants, to contribute to their host nation through taxes and such like.

Taxes and all that

It is ironic therefore, to say the least, that Trump is now being hailed by his supporters as a ‘business genius’ for having paid no tax whatsoever in the past 18 years. Picture of the Gandolfi works in LondonAbhorrent as this may appear to all right minded people, it seems strangely indicative of the times we live in. If readers spot anyone who isn’t avoiding tax at this week’s Tory party conference we urge you to get in touch with the BBC. We are sure it would make headline news … not! We also suspect that Louis Gandolfi was a much better business man than Donald Trump could ever hope to be. So it’s appropriate that his name is commemorated so fittingly here in Glasgow. Definitely worth a visit!

G1 1NY      tel: 0141 552 6813      Café Gandolfi

Scones, topweird, weird

Living Water Satisfies Café

1 Comment

You are all aware of the Bermuda Triangle. That mysterious area of ocean on the other side of the Atlantic where things simply disappear without trace. Today we are in the Crystal Palace Triangle, a relatively small area enclosed by three streets. It’s famous for an eclectic range of vintage furniture and clothing stores, in south London. Like it’s Caribbean namesake things go missing here as well. Scones, for example! It’s not as if there are no cafés, there are loads of them. Venezuelan cafés, Nepalese cafés, Polish cafés, Sudanese cafés. Would any of those have scones?

View from Crystal Palace towards central London
Crystal Palace, on Sydenham Hill, is one of the highest points in London.

Just as we were about to declare the Triangle a ‘scone desert’ we came across the Living Water Satisfies or LWS Café. No idea where it gets it’s name but it is situated on the outer extremity of the Triangle where the influence is obviously weaker. Lo and behold … scones. Admittedly there was only three left and they were all the same … gruyère and chive! LWS turns out to be a charity dedicated to helping those who suffer domestic abuse so all the proceeds from the café and bookshop go towards providing shelter and comfort to abuse victims. Well done them! The café itself is pretty basic but is obviously well used for functions and meetings as well as folk just dropping in for something to eat. They also make everything, including the scones, on the premises.Interior picture of LWS cafe

Life on the Edge

As you know we occasionally like to live life on the edge, adrenalin  and all that … and besides, this place was worthy of our tiny little bit of support. Also, you readers obviously need to know about such things, so gruyère and chives it was! What a surprise, what a pleasure. Really cheesy and the chives just gave them a certain je ne sais quoi. Picture of a scone at LWS cafeFor sure, they fell into the ‘weird scone’ category but definitely one of our top weird scones! Coffee was good as well.

In the short time since our previous post there have been other disappearances. We think that David Cameron may have moved too close to the epicentre of the Crystal Palace Triangle because, having laid waste to the UK, the EU, Libya and even brought perfectly honourable pigs into disrepute, he has now vanished completely. He told us himself that he is “no quitter”, so the Triangle seems the most likely explanation. He will be remembered fondly. In much the same way as Tony Blair.

SE19 3AF          tel: 020 8653 4011            LWS Café

Ordinary, Scones

The Ladybird Tearoom

2 Comments

If you have ever picked up a bottle of Johnnie Walker … and, let’s face it, who hasn’t, you were probably more interested in the contents than the bottle itself. That bottle however was probably made here in Alloa where the glassworks is one of the biggest employers in an old established industry.

‘Twas not always so settled though! Things were a little different in 1715. The Earl of Mar, who owned most of the town had to flee the country and forfeit his lands. He had backed the wrong side in the Jacobite rebellion. Heyho, it did not hold the town back for long and Alloa soon became the main port for exporting Glasgow’s manufactured goods across the North Sea to the continent. In 1878 they even started their own football team, Clackmannan County, though 5 years later it changed it’s name to Alloa Athletic … and the team still plays at Recreation Park to this day.

The town is no longer a flourishing port and in common with many other towns that have lost much of their industry, it looks a bit tired. Interior of the Ladybird tearoom in AlloaIt is surrounded by all the usual ‘superstores’ that only serve to make all such towns look equally miserable. They have sucked the lifeblood out of the centre.

Cut the crap, we hear you ask impatiently, does it have scones ? Apologies for the course language .. too many episodes of House of Cards. The answer, of course, is, yes it does. Hence we find ourselves here at the Ladybird Tearoom.
However, lifestyle and diet changes may be necessary for few. levitra 40mg It is said that the treatment should be started with the shortest dosages. levitra on line Surely you would have read levitra uk amerikabulteni.com that these are not really going have an immediate effect in increasing the sexual drive. cialis tadalafil uk These drugs share the same mechanism of action and help achieve multiple orgasms.

Nightmares

It’s nice enough and everyone’s very friendly. Although we were told that the scones had been baked that day, we suspect it was actually the day before. So not good if freshly baked but not bad if they were yesterday’s, if you catch our drift. a Ladybird Tearoom sconeNo awards awarded today, unfortunately. We got the feeling that this place was full of good intentions. It had large jars of jelly babies on every table so you could just help yourself. A generous well intentioned gesture, but a nightmare for parents trying to keep their kids off the easy road to obesity. As such, it probably keeps as many folk away as it attracts.fancy a brew union jack

State of the Union

There was also much of the usual lifestyle advice hanging on the walls. The one asking the question ‘fancy a brew’ had, as it’s background, a rather faded and jaded union jack. We felt it quite accurately reflected the current state of the Union. The other day the Prime Minister declared that Scotland, in the same way as other regions of the UK, would just have to live with the result of Brexit. Thus demonstrating her amazingly poor understanding of what the UK actually is. Whatever her understanding is, Scotland, for sure, is not a ‘region’. A fact that will doubtless be brought to her attention in the near future.

FK10 1ED       Ladybird Tearoom FB

Ordinary, Scones

Henderson’s Salad Table

2 Comments

Life, after the result of the EU referendum, seems somehow surreal. To make matters worse, in escaping from a boiling hot auction house in Edinburgh, we find ourselves here in what is, for us, almost some sort of parallel universe .. a vegan restaurant. Henderson’s, to be precise. Hendersons 03Now, we are the sort of people who will eat pretty much anything without thinking too much about it. And thoroughly enjoy it. So coming face to face with a vegan scone made us realise that our understanding of veganism was somewhat sketchy. Google to the rescue!!

Vegan s defined

Apologies to those who already know, but the Vegan Society definition is “A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of disHendersons 02pensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals.” Great, all very laudable so long as they understand that that approach is a luxury. It is afforded to them by modern day living where supermarkets provide a ridiculous variety and range of just about everything. If they had to apply that principle in ‘Scotland of old’ their state of health would be best described as ‘dead’.

Anyway, apart from all that, this is a nice place with very friendly staff. Our one regret is that we chickened out on the vegan scone and opted for a cheeseHendersons 06 one. Our duty as sconeys should have been to try the vegan variety and report back to you, the reader. A mistake, one we will rectify in due course. This place was started in 1962 by Janet Henderson to provide an outlet for produce from her East Lothian farm. It is still owned by the Henderson family and has expanded over the years.

Square meals all round

We were in the ‘Salad Table’ on the corner of Hanover and Thistle Street but there is also a dedicated Vegan restaurant at the opposite end of the block (joined by an underground tunnel). There’s also a shop/deli in the basement. Our cheese scone was very good, not quite a topscone but pretty close. The coffee was excellent and, in keeping with their health philosophy, water is supplied with everything. Maybe it is just our prejudice coming to the fore but it seemed to us that most of the people coming and going, including the staff, just needed a good square meal to cheer them up.Hendersons 04

Where did David go?

Back to the real world. Ah yes, everything is broken … the EU, the UK, the markets. To try and solve a rift within the Tory party, Cameron gambled big time on ‘remain’ winning. They didn’t and now he has crawled off under a stone and left the resultant mess for others to clear up. The ‘Leave’ campaign obviously did not expect to win since they have no strategy whatsoever for the way forward. The Labour party, useless as ever! The EU does have a strategy though. They want rid of us as soon as possible and who could blame them? The UK has always been a shabby member of the EU. After we leave, vegans will probably thrive on the diet of baked beans we will all be on. Maybe we should all think about converting?

EH2 1DR          tel: 0131 225 2131            Hendersons