What a DISASTER! No we’re not talking about the Sunak/Truss clash last night on telly. The only thing they seemed to agree on was that the last few years of government (of which they were part) was a disaster. No we are talking about our 501th scone. Let us explain.
Explosive stuff
For several years we have had the Canary Girls Café in Glasgow in our sights. The story was one we thought would interest our readers. They also made empire biscuits with the icing in the form of a Scottish saltire! Had to get one of those. The Canary Girls were the women who were employed in munitions, manufacturing TNT shells during WWI. The chemicals reacted with melanin to turn their skin yellow. … not good. They even had Canary Babies with the same yellow skin … even more not good! The lady who owned the café named it in honour of her grandmother who had actually been a Canary Girl. What with COVID and everything, we never managed to visit … but today we did. Guess what? They were in the process of dismantling the place as it’s closing for good … disaster!
They said the nearest café was only a short walk away and it was called Patricia’s. Obviously, with a name like that we had to go. Patricia’s is a nice plan but when we asked for a scone she just shook her head … disaster! Not wanting to walk any further we decided to stay and have something anyway. But first, a question:
Yes, we decided to have coffee and a mascarpone cake. They said it was the closest thing to a scone they had. We asked for their wifi. No wifi … disaster! Also no telephone and their website is also a disaster so we haven’t added it. On the plus side the mascarpone cake was delicious and the coffee was excellent.
If that wasn’t enough disasters for one day we have just heard that Boris, who for some unfathomably reason is still PM, is threatening not to go after all. We’re doomed!!
Q: what cheese would you use to tempt a bear out of a tree?
We hear a lot about oligarchs these days but they are by no means a new phenomenon. In the 19th century, Glasgow had oodles of them but back then they were known as shipping magnates or tobacco barons. Sir William Burrell was one such shipping magnate and he is responsible for the place we are in today, the Burrell Collection in Pollock Park, Glasgow.
He had enough money to buy anything that tickled his fancy and, in his case, it was art that did the tickling. Buying his first piece aged fifteen kick started a life obsessed with travelling the world and shipping artefacts back to his home town of Glasgow. Because he had lots of big ships he wasn’t put off by size … everything from paintings, stained glass, tapestries to huge chunks of ancient buildings. We were last here at the Burrell Collection many years ago as guests at a dinner laid on by Astra Zeneca for the Scottish Therapeutic Endoscopy Workshop. A great night but, typically you might say, we didn’t do culture … only eating and drinking. This time we have a few hours to look around at the exhibits. There are a lot!
One of may doorways on display. This one was made in 1100 to form the entrance to a church at Montron in France. Shipped back stone by stone.
Wisdom and understanding
If this post contains more than the usual amount of illustrations it is simply because the building and the objects it contains just beg to be photographed. It is amazing.
The Luohan that Came from Afar. A Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) statue from south east China. Luohan means ‘one who is worthy’ and developed wisdom and understanding. That could easily describe this blog?
We were here early in the morning when there were few people around but by the time we left it was very busy indeed.
the tearoom
It has just recently reopened after a major revamp with lots of things for kids to interact with and opportunities to learn about other cultures. We are running the risk here of making this blog educational and interesting so perhaps we should just get on with the scones.
Catching up
We are not complete scone philistines though … that’s not the only reason for our visit. It was catching up with an old friend we hadn’t seen for many years that had actually brought us here. There were scones though … fruit and plain. They have a system. You have to find a table then give the table number when you order at the counter. Then they bring it over when it’s all ready. Everything was nicely presented and the scone came with plenty jam and butter. It was nice and we thoroughly enjoyed it but it wasn’t a top scone … pity!
Homeless
Child with rattle. Can you imagine getting your kids ready in the morning if they were all dressed like this?
Burrell believed in free education for all and in 1944 he gifted his entire collection to the City of Glasgow. It was so big, however, there wasn’t any where in the city capable of housing it. It needed its own building so a competition was launched that culminated in being opened by the Queen in 1983. The setting in the beautiful countryside of Pollock Park is perfect. Huge windows give a fantastic backdrop to many of the exhibits and it’s all completely free for anyone who wants to visit. Good old Sir William!. For us the takeaway message from our visit was clear. Today we think of ourselves as being terribly advanced.
The Warwick Vase. This is a replica of a Roman original made in the 1st century.
Smart phones and rockets to the moon and all that. But actually, we haven’t really come that far. A thousand years ago they were doing things that we’d find hard or impossible to replicate these days. The workmanship and scale of some of the artefacts is mind blowing. No idea what value would be put on the Collection … probably too vast to contemplate.
A wall tile featuring a gazelle and a mountain goat. Made in Iran in the 13th century
Messes
When you look at the mess the world is in today it is not difficult to agree that we haven’t progressed that much. The UK has been responsible for creating a lot of the global messes and with Boris at the helm it has ended up in one almighty mess itself. If we were being generous we would say that he has had a lot on his plate … but we’re not! We are all heartily sick of the goings on in 10 Downing Street during lockdown and today the long awaited Sue Grey Report cames out. It hasn’t improved things. Boris, may have unwittingly discovered the holy grail on how to keep your job. Just make such a mess of it that no-one else wants it.
We’ve only made a mess of our table at the Burrell Collection. But it was wonderful to catch up with an old friend and at the same time get ‘cultured’. Having said that, ‘culture vultures’ we are not but this is a fantastic place. You should all visit if you get a chance.
Here we are in Glasgow, the bestest city in the whole wide world … Pat told me that! We are looking for something that’s hidden. Why? It’s like an itch, you’ve got to scratch it. If you are told something is hidden you feel an overpowering urge to find it. So it was with the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Looking down the Hidden Lane from Argyle Street
Argyle Street is more than two miles long and one of Glasgow’s main shopping streets. There is so much going on you could easily walk past this little lane and not even notice it. Even if you did, you might not feel particularly inclined to go down … it’s not immediately obvious that it leads to anything. It’s proper name is Argyle Court but not a lot of people know that. You would just get a blank look if you asked for it by anything other than ‘the hidden lane.’ When you reach the end of the lane, however, it suddenly opens up into a large courtyard with a veritable cornucopia of tiny little shops and eateries. It’s quite a big area but this narrow lane is the only way in or out. Who would have thought?
Exciting
Even then, the tearoom was not immediately obvious but then we spotted it tucked away in a corner. It has become a central focus amongst the brightly coloured higgledy piggledy studios which act as home to lots of musicians and other creatives. We were excited to find the Hidden Lane but we were doubly excited to try the tearoom. Apparently it’s renowned for its luxury afternoon tea, its classic Victoria sponge and its secret recipe scones. What’s not to get excited about?
The tearoom has a cosy chintzy feel about and combined with the cheery service it’s the sort of place where you immediately feel comfortable. They have an upstairs as well so it’s not as small as you might think. Of course, our primary concern was the scones. Pat went for fruit and I opted for their ‘special scone of the day,’ raspberry and white chocolate.
Double awards
I tried to get a picture of both scones together but for some reason it didn’t work. Damn, just when I thought I was getting the hang of this photography lark! Anyway we shared the scones so that we could sample both. Unsurprisingly perhaps, we thought they were both excellent. Served with little glass pots of jam and cream and a sprinkling of crunchy sugar on top. We gave Pat’s a topscone and mine a top weird scone … well done the Hidden Lane Tearoom.
Who would have thought that, more than a month on, the war in Ukraine would still be going on. And in the David and Goliath struggle, David seems to at least be holding his own against the vastly superior might of the Russian army. There was a message on the wall of the Hidden Lane Tearoom. It did make us wonder what would have happened if Mad Vlad had gone for tea first.
The football World Cup is scheduled to take place in Qatar at the end of the year. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if Ukraine qualified! However, there’s a fly in the ointment … Scotland. The only thing standing between Ukraine and qualifying for the World Cup is Scotland. They have to play to decide which country goes through. Oh no, what a dilemma!
Now, if anyone thinks there is anything such as a benign dictatorship, think again. You only have to look back to Henry VIII to see what can happen. While these desperados creat havoc and destroy people’s lives they also have sycophants fawning over them for fear of losing their own position … or even their heads. This innocent little tale of a scone from Newens, The Original Maids of Honour in Kew will help illustrate the point and educate those of you who are not already familiar with tarts.
We are in London for a combined wedding anniversary/house warming party … it was quite a bash! After everything had calmed down we thought we should take a couple of our granddaughters and educate them in the art of scone and tart appreciation. Newens was only a couple of short bus rides away but when the children related their adventure later, it was 750 buses.
High Tea
If Henry VIII had walked in it would definitely have been “off with their heads”
First impressions are very definitely of a genteel quintessentially English tearoom. A sort of hang out for blue rinse ladies and probably not the best sort of environment for a pair of scallywags. We ordered ‘high tea’ for two at £18 per person. It turned out to be more like what we would call ‘afternoon tea’ at home. We are in the madness they call London so perhaps such things are to be expected. More than that they also had ‘The Special Taster Set Tea‘ at £35 per person, the Champagne Set Tea, the Prosecco Set Tea, the Savoury Set Tea as well as the Maids of Honour Afternoon Tea. Gosh, we may have to go back! So what is all this Maids of Honour stuff anyway?
HR departments
For that we have to return to Henry VIII. Apparently when he was married to Anne Boleyn he walked in one day to find Anne and her maids of honour tucking in to some little tarts that one of the maids had baked. He tasted one and found it so delicious he decided they should be made exclusively for him. So instead of chopping Anne’s head off right away and promoting the maid to wife … or even Queen, he imprisoned the maid so that she could bake tarts just for him. The recipe was locked away in an iron box in Richmond Palace. Anne’s head would have to wait a while until it could be detached. Heads of HR departments all over the world may be squirming at the moment however Henry would doubtless have topped them as well.
difficult choices
Eclair truffle and tart
One of the features of our High Tea was that you had to go next door to the bakery shop and pick your preferred cake. One of our young granddaughters chose a chocolate eclair and the other a chocolate truffle. I of course had to have the Maids of Honour tart. Before all that, of course, there was the sandwiches and scones. All washed down with as much tea as you could drink. As expected, it was all very good. The scones were deliciously soft, not crunchy like we usually prefer but somehow they were still good enough for our top award.
And what of the Maids of Honour tarts? Well, obviously the recipe has escaped from its strongbox in the Palace and somehow found its way to Newens. We hope we are not putting ourselves at risk by disclosing it here though Newens still keep their recipe secret. They are delectable little crisp puff pastry wonders with a filling of squidgy cheese and lemon curd. Fan-dabby-dozy … we could easily understand why Henry got a bit carried away!
COP26
We wonder what Henry VIII would make of the COP26 summit starting today in Glasgow. It stands for the 26th United Nations Climate Change Conference of the Parties and will see over 400 private jets flying in as well as all all the other flights. They will produce more climate warming gas than the whole of Scotland in a year. Not an auspicious start. Well known climate sceptic Boris, or should it be Borax, will be there blabbering away pretending to be a dyed in the wool greenie. Over 190 countries will be represented though not the host country. Scotland not invited … ask Borax! With all the disruption it’s causing they better come up with something worthwhile but it may take Henry with his great big axe to concentrate minds!
Glasgow Council, after years of removing the traffic cone from the Duke of Wellington’s statue only for it to reappear the next day eventually gave up. Now a major tourist attraction and emblazoned on memorabilia like this tea towel
For those not familiar with Scottish vernacular, or, to be more precise, Glasgow vernacular, a “singl-end,” or single-end was the name for a tiny tenement room into which large families were packed back in the good old days. Toilets were on the landings and could be shared with up to ten other families. This was a dreadful way of life which thankfully no longer exists. The term “singl-end”, however, is still sometimes used today to remember with misty eyed fondness those times. Times of close community when everyone knew everyone else and looked after each other. As a way of life the singl-end probably gave rise to Glasgow’s unique friendliness. A sense of humour was the minimum required to survive in such conditions and combined with a down to earth irreverence and an ability to laugh at themselves, Glasgow is like no other city.
Posh?
Pat, a proud Weegie, wasn’t brought up in a singl-end, rather a “room and kitchen”. Having a separate kitchen didn’t exactly make you posh but it was definitely one up from a singl-end!
When we came across the Singl-end Café & Bakehouse it just had to be done. And what a find! It’s in a basement so is virtually invisible from the street. Not that that is holding it back, when we arrived it was busy busy … and it’s nothing like a singl-end at all, it’s huge! It has what we would describe as a kind of hip feel about it so naturally, being pretty hip ourselves, we felt at home straight away. It’s veggie and vegan friendly without being at all shoutie about it … brill!
Creme de la creme
The staff were an absolute delight and they soon had us set up with some absolutely delicious lunch. The problem was that there was so much delicious lunch that we feared we might not manage the scones we had spotted earlier. Undeterred, however, we let our tummies settle down for a while then ordered our scones. When we asked for cream with our scones a funny thing happened. But first let us ask a question. “What cheese would you use to hide a horse?” Don’t think about it too long … it’s mascarpone, obviously! When we asked for cream our waitress said “It’s mascarpone cream” followed by “Its nice” when she saw our consternation. It’s veggie so it fits with their ethos. So the final order was a fruit scone for Pat and a blueberry and pistachio scone with blackcurrant jam and mascarpone cream for me. Life on the edge.
One very noticeable thing about this place is that the service is almost instantaneous. lightening quick! So, almost immediately, our scones were in front of us served up on wooden chopping boards. They were really good and the mascarpone cream was really good as well. We loved everything about Singl-end Café & Bakehouse. There is another Singl-end nearer the city centre but we wish they would venture out to the provinces and open one nearer us.
Mickey Mouse
Each table in Singl-end has a glass top and underneath the glass is an array of odd and totally unrelated items – postcards, bits of hand written letters, drawings and sketches … a really fascinating miscellany of stuff. At my seat a stamp from Grenada caught my eye. Can you ever see the UK issuing a stamp featuring Donald Duck? We can’t imagine anything ever inducing the ‘stiff upper lip’ British government to do such a thing. One featuring Mickey Mouse might be appropriate though considering the present state of our politics. The other Donald seems to be pulling all the strings in our upcoming election. Acting on The Donald’s instructions, Nigel Farage has suddenly gone from all principled and powerful back to his usual sniveling self.
Another question “What cheese would you use to coax a bear out of a tree?” The answer – camembert! We know, the jokes are even worse than the politics!
ps It is with great sadness that we report the passing of one of our correspondents who hailed from Stenhousemuir … the SteniBrainFart. He contributed to several posts like Brians Café and The Loft. We named him thus because of his uncanny knack of instantly coming up with oodles of useless information on just about any subject under the sun. He was proud of the name and signed his emails with it. He will be greatly missed.
One of our photographic friends, Paul Graham, was having a launch exhibition of his paintings at the Annan Gallery. It’s on Woodlands Road in Glasgow. A talented photographer for most of his life Paul has now veered more towards art. He works ‘en plein air’ which is his hifalutin way of saying ‘outside’. Paul does though! He sets his easel up in all sorts of situations and climatic conditions and gets to work, For some of the fab results see his blog. Anyway, much as we appreciate Paul’s work we were really only here for the champagne. Once that was finished there was nothing left to do except go for a scone. Okay, okay, that may seem slightly shallow but at least we were in a good mood for a scone.
Not far from the gallery we came across this place, Offshore, on Gibson Street. We mention the street simply because it was once home to the legendary Shish Mahal Indian restaurant. Back in the day, it used to be one of the few places you could get alcohol late on a Sunday evening. Typical order might have been ‘five chapatis and ten pints of lager‘. It had to close in Gibson Street because of subsidence but is still going strong in nearby Park Street. One of it’s close competitors, the Koh-i-Noor actually collapsed into the river Kelvin. Anyway, we digress!
Cursory wipes
Offshore looks a little bit as if it has been dragged from the Kelvin. A wee bit bedraggled. However this is student territory and since when were students put off by a bit of tawdriness? It had that studenty feel. Lots of folk, who looked like they had been there all day, reading books or fiddling with their laptops. We had to ask for our table to be cleared and cleaned. They did clear it but cleaning was nothing more than a cursory wipe. It needed more than a cursory wipe!
There were only rather large fruit scones available and a request for cream only produced a withering look. Toasted scones were not a problem however and they came accompanied by butter and a sachet of Nashville strawberry jam. We have only ever come across this north American preserve once before in Bob & Bert’s. My coffee cup had a major crack running all the way down but we guessed that they didn’t throw them away until they actually started leaking. I was fortunate in that mine, against all expectations, seemed to still be retaining its contents quite well.
Now you may think that this is all heading in one direction but the scones were damnably good. Warm and soft and quite delicious … even with American jam! We had thought, since they were not doing anything else right, that the scones would be similarly handicapped. However, had it not been for all the other problems these would definitely have been topscones. Maybe it was the champagne? To avoid any why not look here cialis for sale cheap kind of health risk, it is better to visit a well-qualified health professional. Hello cialis tadalafil online readers, I am here again to give you another elaboration about your sexual health. As the man is in a passive position, his sexual excitement develops more slowly, which will help premature ejaculation to master the process of urination is ignored consecutively on time, then expect a hefty medical bill or even worse like loss of life in the coming future. buy cialis overnight Although there was other form of treatment available, but, was not known all over and not popular. discover over here cost levitra lowest
Deserting the sinking ship
Offshore isn’t only where the wealthy keep their filthy lucre. It’s also where most people would like to be as Brexit wends its weary way towards some sort of cataclysmic conclusion. We don’t mean this café, we mean anywhere other than the UK. What irony! Principally, it was the north of England that voted to leave the EU. Now, one of the main industries in the north of England, Nissan, has announced it’s abandoning the UK to build their latest model elsewhere. Why? Because of Brexit. The north of England has many reasons to feel hard done by but it had little to do with the EU. It was just a really crappy conservative government here in the UK blaming the EU for its own shortcomings. It beggars belief that we are still pressing on, like lemmings, towards the cliff edge.
A plan
It was mainly old folk who voted for Brexit … young folk cannot remember anything other than the EU. The elderly also denied Scotland its independentence in 2014 … frightened about their pensions, Consequently we have come up with a plan. Everybody who is one year older than me should be shot. This plan will undoubtedly have a few critics however it would mean that most people would then vote correctly … simple! Some older friends might be saying “but what about us?” We realise there’s a downside but as Theresa would say “trust me, I know what is best for the country and this is the only way”.
In such dire circumstances my cracked mug doesn’t seem quite so important any more.
Sometimes you just get the urge. You just fancy something! Maybe you fancy a classic mojito, perhaps a strawberry fizz mocktail; maybe a spot of face painting; or even a full blown lunch with private dining; maybe some live music. Or maybe you just want to stay in the EU or maybe you just never want to hear of Brexit ever again! Well, you can have all of these (except the last two) at Darcy’s in Glasgow’s Princes Square. All Ted Baker and Vivienne Westwood, Princes Square is a rather upmarket glitzy shopping centre. Darcy’s is just one of a dozen restaurants.
Christmas comes to Glasgow’s Royal Exchange Square
Epic messes
It was over two years ago that we were here having afternoon tea at Cranachan and berating them for serving fully loaded scones. As you all know by now, a cardinal sin in our eyes. We were also feeling a bit sorry for Jeremy Corbyn. He had just done unexpectedly well in the general election but was being given a hard time for not singing while everyone else was trying to enlist God’s help in saving HRH. Things haven’t got any better for him in the intervening years but it’s all of his own making. Any sympathy we may have had has long since evaporated. Unbelievably, he actually might even have a chance of winning a general election should one be called. Not because of anything he has done but simply because of the epic mess the Tories are currently making of just about everything..
Okay, okay what about Darcy’s scones? It’s busy busy and there was only a single table left when we arrived. The whole place had a nice buzz about it. That buzz however may have given rise to a slight hiccup at the beginning when, having waited for about five minutes, we had to go and find someone to serve us. However, after that we were looked after very well. Our scones came on very large plates which we were sure were the same as we had when reviewing our Liberty of London scone. That was also over two years ago so how sad is it that we remember things like the plates? My coffee was great and came complete with a little amaretti biscuit … nice!.
Anyway the plates certainly didn’t cramp our lovely warm fruit scones … nicely presented with a pat of butter, a pot of the ubiquitous Tiptree jam and a ramekin of cream with a strawberry on top. What’s not to like? In the end we decide to forgive the hiatus in service and award a topscone. Well done Darcy’s.
Face painting
Just in case we have fired up anyone’s interest in face painting, it takes place every Sunday between 1 and 3pm and everyone goes home with a balloon! Remember to have a scone as well!
Pillars covered in old French newspapers??
Landing on Mars
We weaved our way back to the railway station through dozens of beggers sitting in the wet and cold. We also learned that we have successfully landed a spaceship on Mars … hurragh! With all these beggers, food banks and 1 in 4 children living in poverty, lets hope, if they find anything at all on Mars, it’s a moral compass?
ps: Attention all telephone box enthusiasts. Obviously this not a K6 but a somewhat different concrete police telephone box. The only similarity to a K6 is that its door is also made of teak. Originally all police telephone boxes were coloured red and only changed to blue because of the popularity of Dr Who. None of the BBC’s props have actually been true to the original design. The explanation is that its chameleon circuits sometimes drift a little if left in the same position for too long. This particular TARDIS in Buchanan Street did not really contain a huge Bier Halle full of drunken Germans. Although we didn’t actually look inside??
Readers might think that we are getting a wee bit highfalutin coming to places like this. We can only say, however, that it is all done on your behalf, in the name of sconological research. After the John Forrest Bakery experience in Chelsea, where we ended up eating our scones outdoors in a kiddies playpark, it is only reasonable that we explore the other end of the scone spectrum. Isn’t it? Anyway, this is One Devonshire Gardens, officially known by the rather natty little title, Hotel du Vin at One Devonshire Gardens … and it is highfalutin. Does that mean topscones though? We know that’s the question on everyone’s lips. Over the years No 2 and No 3 were added and more recently No 4, so now the hotel takes up the entire terrace.
Kneeling
It’s certainly the place to stay for A-list celebs when they are in Glasgow – from Justin Timberlake to Whitney Houston, you name them they have all stayed. And now we’re here!! We had decided to walk here from the station but had not bargained on the day being so hot. We were extremely glad of a cool sparkling glass of champagne to kick things off. Mind you, can’t remember the last time we were not extremely glad of a glass of champagne.
As we sat there sipping and thinking how wonderful life was, we learned that Pat was sitting in George Clooney’s old seat and I was in Britney Spears‘, wow! No, we just made that up! Our table was low, about coffee table height. It meant our delightful young waiter of mysterious eastern European origin and almost seven feet tall had to kneel to explain everything we were getting with our afternoon tea. It’s slightly odd when your waiter is on his knees but still looking down at you.
Suffice to say that we were starting with savoury on the top tier then working our way down to the cakes at the bottom. The scones, of course, had an entire tier to themselves, as is only right and proper. Back in 2001 when this place belonged to Gordon Ramsay, it had a Michelin star and was called Amaryllis. Well, Michelin star or not, we don’t think the scones would have been any better back then than they were today.
Mon dieu
We had a plain and an apricot and lemon scone each. They were exactly how we like them, warm, crunchy on the outside and light and fluffy in the middle. The only slight problem was getting the tops off the little jars of French, yes French strawberry jam … mon dieu! Everything was fab and, as might be expected in such a place, topscone. All in all it was a lovely relaxing afternoon. There were lots of pictures around the hotel illustrating some profound celebrity quotes. I am not permitted to comment on the one by Rudyard Kipling but the one on the right, by Susan Hill, has been okayed.
11 years
The SNP had their annual conference this week just down the road from One Devonshire. It is astounding that this party is now the second biggest by membership in the UK. It’s also been in power in Scotland for the past eleven years. All this without a single positive word being said about them in any of the media … incredible. Nicola Sturgeon delivered a closing speech which other party leaders could only dream of. One of unity, hope, and kindness. Social media was alive with people wanting to come and live in Scotland. Or even wanting Nicola to go and lead their country. So perhaps there is more than smoothness to some politicians, maybe some are genuinely genuine?
BREAKING NEWS:
Also to be seen was David Cameron, of ill-placed wind turbine fame (oh and leader of the Conservatives) and Roger Highfield of The Telegraph Princess Eugenie, is getting married as we speak and not wearing a veil … mon dieu again!
ps: Our Middle East correspondent has been busy. On a visit to Petah Tikva (the name means Opening of Hope) about six miles north of Tel Aviv he discovered ten K6 telephone boxes on Haim Ozer street.
He tested every one and found them all to be in perfect working order and all from either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow … .
Correspondents
Another correspondent, the Laird, has also been in touch to give us a heads up on several new exciting scone opportunities … watch this space. The Pedant has helpfully corrected some of our regular faux pas. Our Trossachs correspondents have reported on an enjoyable but frustratingly sconeless visit to Romania. We feel truly blessed to have such a dedicated band of globetrotting correspondents. Thanks to all.
. If you can’t see anything resembling a café in the above picture that’s because it’s hidden. Hidden within the St George’s Tron Church, the rather large pointy building sitting centre stage. The Church of Scotland opened it in 1808 and it’s still going strong today. We had heard a rumour about this church. The rumour could have been about all the fantastic work they do in conjunction with the Glasgow City Mission and the Bethany Christian Trust to help the most vulnerable people in Glasgow. As explained to us at some length by ‘big Andy’. A lovely bloke who seems to take care of everything here. The rumour could also have been about their ‘gifted soup/coffee’ scheme. You can buy an extra coffee or soup which they then offer to people who can’t afford them. The rumour might even have been about their green credentials or the fact that all their bread comes from the Freedom Bakery in Low Moss prison. But no, it wasn’t any of those.
Would you adam ‘n eve it, it was about scones! We had heard from a very well respected source that their scones were worthy of inspection. That’s what drew us in here. Yes, we are are actually that shallow! Recently the congregation and the Church of Scotland spent over £3m refurbishing the whole building and The Wild Olive Tree Café came about as part of that redevelopment.
Cheddar and sunflower seed
It is intended to provide a place of quiet sanctuary. Away from the hustle, bustle and general madness going on just outside the door in Scotland’s busiest shopping street. In here, the almost serene atmosphere, seems like another world. The café specialises in soup, scones and cakes … what more would you want? As for scones there was a choice of:
Spiced Sultana
Apricot Date & Vanilla
Cheddar & Sunflower seed
Goats Cheese & Caramelised Onion … wow, and all freshly baked!
I opted for the the spiced sultana and Pat went for the cheddar and sunflower seed. Both were wonderful. Mine had a lovely crunchiness on the outside and deliciously spiced on the inside … never before tasted a scone like it! Pat’s was beautifully cheesy with a lovely crunch courtesy of the sunflower seeds. There wasn’t anything not to like about the whole experience … nice surroundings, friendly service, good presentation and fantastic scones. Even my drink was Dear Green Coffee, roasted right here in the beating heart of Glasgow … excellent! These were definitely the best scones we have had in ages. No problem awarding a topscone here.
In many ways this place reminded us of our recent visit to the Glasgow Gurdwara where our Sikh friends were also doing lots of good work with the needy. The only problem with both this place and the Gurdwara is that they are required at all. Britain is one of the richest oil producing countries in the world yet there are still thousands of people here and in every other major city who are on the breadline. How come? The lowest state pension of any developed country in the world doesn’t help. Lots of old folk living in poverty and hopelessness.
The Last Supper using guests at the Glasgow City Mission as models
Remember me
This eight foot long painting hangs in the café and kind of encapsulates the situation. It is a depiction, by the artist-in-residence Iain Campbell, of the Last Supper featuring Jesus among men who have fallen on hard times. We have seen the original Last Supper by Da Vinci in Milan but this version seems much more powerful … sorry Leonardo! At the supper Jesus said “remember me” but somehow all these men seem totally forgotten. Jesus is one of them … you pick! Meanwhile our wonderful government can still spend billions on weapons of mass destruction and, at this very moment, are actively contemplating going to war with Syria? Trump and May haven’t had a war yet so it’s probably to be expected. On whose behalf would they go to war … certainly not these guys, they’ve got much more immediate things to worry about!
the Wild Olive Tree … pruned to within an inch of its life
ps: To be or not to be … the Pedant has sent us a picture of a brace of K6 telephone boxes in Stratford upon Avon. The question is, are they protecting that wastepaper bin or are they taking it into custody?
When we were on Orkney we got a real sense of community. People supported each other by making local crafts and selling local produce. Staff had time for a chat and all that. There was just a certain honest homeliness about the island and the people so we were not surprised to learn that it was voted best place to live in the UK, five years in a row. In spite of the wind! Today’s venue is about as far away as you can get from that. This could easily be where the Great God of Consumerism actually lives!
View from Café by Benugo
It is, of course, Buchanan Galleries in Glasgow. Even the name of the cafe at the John Lewis store, ‘The Cafe by Benugo’, sounds a bit pretentious. Turns out that ‘Benugo’ is a company founded by Ben and Hugo Warner (see what they did there) in London in 1998.
John Spedan Lewis
They now service all the John Lewis stores as well as many others and have over 2,000 employees … well done Ben and Hugo. The John Lewis stores themselves are perhaps not too far removed from the community spirit we found on Orkney. They are run by the John Lewis Partnership, set up by John Spedan Lewis in 1920.
Illogical systems
After the store had been operating for over fifty years he had the revolutionary idea (for the time) that staff would be better motivated if they had a say in running the company. And a share in the profits … something which continues to this day, all staff are ‘partners’ in the company. The JLPartnership also runs the Waitrose supermarket empire and is now a multi £billion business … a far cry from its first day’s takings of 16s 4d (82p) in 1864. What about the scones by Benugo? It is self-service and the seating area is spread around a vast glass balcony overlooking one of the busy concourses.
We opted for a ‘cream tea for two’ which at £8 seemed like good value. It was slightly odd, however, in that, usually with these things, you can have whatever you like to drink. Not here! Pat wanted peppermint tea, no problem, but I felt like a coffee. No, it had to be tea or nothing. No big deal but it just seemed like a slightly illogical bit of inflexibility. The scones themselves were good though a little on the sweet side for our taste … no topscone unfortunately.
Partnership working in Spain
Illogical inflexibility seems to be the order of the day. The Spanish government has just removed Catalonia’s autonomy. Surely a massive blow to democracy. Unbelievably, it’s happening within the EU. Goodness knows where they will go from here but you can’t help feeling that it will all end in tears. Scotland should beware … devolution is currently under threat with the repatriation of powers from Brussels. Many of which may never reach Edinburgh if Westminster gets its way. Hopefully Spain will take a lead from John Spedan Lewis and get into some sort of partnership with the Catalans. It worked for him.
They said the nearest café was only a short walk away and it was called Patricia’s. Obviously, with a name like that we had to go. Patricia’s is a nice plan but when we asked for a scone she just shook her head … disaster! Not wanting to walk any further we decided to stay and have something anyway. But first, a question:
Yes, we decided to have coffee and a mascarpone cake. They said it was the closest thing to a scone they had. We asked for their wifi. No wifi … disaster! Also no telephone and their website is also a disaster so we haven’t added it. On the plus side the mascarpone cake was delicious and the coffee was excellent.
