External view of Artisan in Stornoway

Artizan Café – Again

Okay, we’re not quite back in the swing of things in terms of brand new scones so this is yet another one of our island reposts that you have all come to know and love?? This one from the Artizan Café in Stornoway is from our 2019 trip around some of the outer isles. Seems like an age ago! Theresa May was still clinging on like some demented rabid dog and we were still hopeful that Brexit would just go away. What fools we were! And we had never heard of COVID-19.

Anyway, you have all heard of BLM, Black lives Matter, the movement that swept the world in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Without wishing to diminish BLM in any way, in this post we want to raise awareness of BPM, Black Pudding Matters. So let’s go back a year.

Doubtless, you will all heave a huge sigh of relief when we say that our trip to the Outer Isles has finally come to an end. To get back home, however, we had to drive back through the hills of Harris and across the moors of Lewis to get to Stornoway. There we could catch a ferry to Ullapool on the Scottish mainland.

View of Stornoway harbour
Stornoway harbour
Tom, Dick and Harry

We aimed to leave a little time, however, so that we could see if there was more to Stornoway than black pudding. As you are all very well aware this town is the home of this delicacy. That mixture of beef suet, oatmeal, blood, onion, salt and pepper that’s become a favourite of fine dining establishments throughout the world. It’s good for you because it’s high in protein, zinc and iron. A Stornoway black puddingNow, it’s very future is endangered by Brexit. You probably have not been aware of Westminster debating the future of black pudding … because it hasn’t. Stornoway Black Pudding is a PGI (Protected Geographical Indication) under the EU Protected Food Name Scheme. Once we leave the EU that protection has gone. Any old Tom, Dick or Harry in Manchester, or wherever, will be able to produce inferior black pudding and call it ‘Stornoway’. If ever there was a reason for cancelling Brexit, this is it.

We went to Macleod & Macleod’s shop to view the genuine articles in their native surroundings, We didn’t buy. Pat’s not a fan so I would have had to eat all 1.5 kg myself. Too much even for me. Across the street from Macleod & Macleod is Artizan, a rather nice café combined with art gallery and jewellery shop.

Technological scone location

At this point perhaps we should explain the addition to the info at the end of each post. Traditionally we have provided postcode, phone number and web address. However, our correspondent, the Pedant, has complained that this only gives a vague idea of scone location … a matter of concern to him … him being a pedant and all that. An app called What3Words provides much more accurate information and will locate a scone, or at least the table it was on with a unique combination of three words. The three at the end of this post ‘calculating.sweetened.blossom’ will not only take you to the Artizan café but to the table we were sitting at in the café … provided you have the app, of course. No other table on earth has these same three words. Either a wonder of modern technology or a complete waste of time … it’s up to you. It is remarkable though and it’s free so give it a whirl if you want to know exactly where our scones are.

A scone at Artisan Cafe in StornowayAnyway, Artizan was one of these places which just gives off a good vibe as soon as you go in. Everything about it feels good. When our scone came it was complete with butter, jam and clotted cream. It was delicious. Just the right amount of crunchiness combined with an excellent fluffy soft centre. No problem awarding a topscone here. At last, our long run of ordinary scones had been broken. The lovely lady who actually baked them chatted to us while she cleared our table. She was great as well!

All good things ..

And so we have come to the end of our trip. It has been great. A bit windy perhaps but we didn’t get rained on once. We have been able to provide our readers with a much more accurate scone locating system and discovered the home of black pudding, the best reason, if ever there was one, for cancelling Brexit altogether. As Theresa May contemplates dragging her battered and bruised ‘Deal’ back to the Commons for an unbelievable 4th time, someone really needs to take her aside and speak to her about black pudding.

View of Stornoway harbour
sad farewell to Stornoway and the Outer Hebrides

HS1 2DH             tel: 01851 706538        Artizan

calculating sweetened blossom

PS: If you have downloaded the W3W app and look at ‘rake.tacky.fronds’ that’s where we are on a ferry in the middle of the Minch … see, no postcodes out here! When we reach ‘reap.scored.twitchy’ we’ll be home!

LEWIS SHEDS
Peat cutting booth's on the Isle of Lewis
Three peat cutting bothies not far from Stornoway. One far away on horizon extreme left. There’s standing room only on the Sabbath … apparently!

Readers will remember our previous post about pumpkin scones, sent by our Aussie Bathurst correspondent. Well, here’s the sequel: “Following our recent treat of pumpkin scones, I decided to have a crack at cooking some myself.An Australian scone/biscuit  Same recipe as our hostess made on our recent excursion, but unfortunately, they did not turn out as well as expected.   See photo with a one-pound coin for size comparison.  What’s more, the one-pound coin was also slightly easier to chew.  More of a biscuit really.  Possibly because we used gluten-free flour to placate some gluten-free friends we had staying.”

Ten out of ten for a very admirable effort. While we acknowledge the consistency problem, we think the size is fine. Ideal for a genteel afternoon tea. But then, do Aussies do genteel?? We’re sure they’ll let us know.

Niceties

Apparently Westminster is getting in a frenzy about the burgeoning threat of Scottish Independence. So worried they have decided to send Boris on a dangerous mission north of the non-existent border. He won’t meet any real Scots though, only fellow rich tax-avoiding folks, then he’ll scurry off back to safety. They haven’t told Nicola or the Scottish government about the visit yet which just about sums up the relationship perfectly. Scotland doesn’t and never has had a voice so why bother with niceties?

3 thoughts on “Artizan Café – Again”

  1. Hi there, great choice for this second edition from Stornaway and the Artizan cafe as we are about to embark on a western isles tour. We will of course be checking up on you, are these places real? do they really deserve top scone rating? And yes you got me to download that 3 word tracker and yes it worked. Suffice to say it was raining this afternoon and I had little to do, not sure what your excuse is for throwing that in. Anyway we did enjoy your story and hope to enjoy the scones and black pudding as Liz and I both enjoy it plus young Arran who is always “a bit hungry” and thoroughly enjoys black pudding with his saswages and egg.
    Liked your story about the Australian scones or biscuits as the case may be.
    Don’t know why your not back on the road now that Nicola has given you the green light. Get out there and spend spend spend in search of fresh scones. May be a bit frightening for a Paterson, we know how tight your grasp is on those coins in your pocket, but the Scottish economy needs you.
    Take care
    DandE

    1. I know, we have got too used to our cosy existence.
      Glad to hear your heading for the Outer Isles, you’ll enjoy it. Be sure to let us know if any of our places don’t actually exist … it would put a whole different complexion on our trip!

  2. This was a really nice wee place. I came home with a pair of gloves which Billy bought for me from here. Unfortunately the stitching came apart and when I got in touch with them, they said to return them and they sent me a new pair. Such good customer service. So if your ever in Stornaway please give them some custom.

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