Scones, Uncategorized

Balgove Larder

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When we got an email from our ever inventive Bathurst correspondent entitled “scones and phone boxes” we were delighted. Always keen to learn more about life down under we were full of anticipation. Perhaps another New South Wale’s scone? Perhaps a kangaroo outside a K6 phone box somewhere in the outback? So imagine our surprise when we discovered that nothing could be further from the truth. The scone news came from the Balgove Larder in St Andrews, about an hour’s drive from where we live and the telephone boxes were all local too i.e. in the UK. Who would have thought we would be getting our local sconological news from the antipodeas?

Strange things happen

Of course, there’s an explanation. Our correspondent has family near St Andrews and the pictures were from his last visit, about two years ago. Is getting local news like this weird or wonderful? We think it’s wonderful but it may also be a bit weird. Our correspondent laments the fact that he has no idea if and when he will again be allowed to visit St Andrews where his daughter and grandchildren live. Weirdly, even though it is very close to us, we are not allowed to visit either. Such are the joys of global coronavirus restrictions!

A scone at Balgove LarderIf memory serves our correspondent well, Balgove Larder was a lovely venue and the scone was also excellent. It certainly looks good and nicely presented with plenty jam and cream. Oviously Pat and I will do our utmost to confer a grading here as soon as we are allowed to travel again. Oooo, “conferring” topscone awards … sounds a bit pretentious doesn’t it. Note to self: must stay grounded!

Lunar outbursts

While the UK adjusts to renewed lockdown apparently President Trump has reported a huge dump of his votes on the moon. He has a friend who is an astronaut, a terrific astronaut, he has a telescope and he has seen them. Now, dear reader, if you wondered, even for a nanosecond, if that was true it pretty much sums up the state of American politics at the moment. Sad, sad! If Trump loses we may even miss these extraordinary outbursts. We can adjust, however. 

KY16 9SF         tel: 01334 898145        Balgove

///ripen.hotel.class

ps: Not content with simply sending us Scottish scone news from Australia our correspondent also sent some phone box pics.

K6 phone ones from Bathurst correspondent
Julie demonstrating how a remote Welsh K6 door works near Tregaron and a St Andrews Lion K6 on the right in Hepburn Gardens with our correspondents grandchildren Molly and Annie

Lo-and-behold, no sooner had our Bathurst correspont sent in his report than another one popped up … wow! This one described an autumn walk our Devon correspondents took the other day. No scones but they did spot this phone box in the village of Filleigh. Readers all know by now that we regard Devon folks as being fairly uncivilised. Goodness, cream first, what do they expect?

Filleigh K6 in Devon
A Devon K6 and some beautiful autumn colours

If further proof was needed here is the picture they sent of a Devon ‘red’ telephone box. It’s used as the village library.

We are, as always, indebted to each and every one of our correspondents. They enrich our lives (and hopefully yours) wonderfully.

Ordinary, Scones

Cairnie Fruit Farm & Mega Maze

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What do you do on a cold day of torrential rain with five and seven year old granddaughters. Take them to the Cairnie Fruit Farm and Mega Maze …. of course! Secretly, we thought we might lose them in the maze and then sneak off for coffee and a scone while they tried to find their way out. The maze at Cairnie Fruit FarmIt turned out that the maze, in the shape of a sunflower, was carved into a field of corn-on-the-cob or maize … so it was actually a maize maze. Even an amazing maize maze because it was vast. It was also extremely muddy with the rain getting worse by the minute.

Inside the mazeNever mind we were sure the girls wouldn’t last more than a few minutes in these atrocious conditions. Not a bit of it, they were having a ball and, even after an hour, they were not in the least inclined to leave! On the other hand we were cold wet and only thinking of shelter and scones. Eventually we persuaded them to leave and we headed to the cafe.

Sooo Scottish

When we arrived the large car park was almost full, the adventure park was busy and the extensive cafe/shop was busy busy as well. Our daughter, who has been completely ruined by living in London, observed “This is sooo Scottish, what are all these people doing here in this weather?” Internal view of Cairnie Fruit FarmOf course, there were strict COVID regulations everywhere but we soon found one of their socially distanced tables and discarded our sodden outer garments.

A scone at Cairnie Fruit FarmAfter a bacon roll and some lovely hot coffee we shared a fruit scone with a little tub of Cairnie jam. Although there was no cream we thoroughly enjoyed it. Maybe it was just the relief of being somewhere warm and dry? The texture was good but, all things considered we decided it fell short of a topscone accolade.

More fun
Racing cars at Cairnie Fruit Farm
F1 at Cairnie

After we finished, guess what? The youngsters wanted to go back out to the adventure park. Helpless in the face of such excited unbridled enthusiasm … out we had to go. They went on the zip slide, roundabouts, racings cars and everything else. Now the rain was monsoon-like and we were soon back to being soaked and cold As far as the girls were concerned, however, you would have thought the sun was shining  … sodden but not a care in the world. It was all we could do to eventually cajole them back towards the car. Bribery may have been involved.

A week is a long time

A slide at Cairnie Fruit FarmAll in all, we had a wonderful day in spite of the elements throwing everything they could at us. Elsewhere, Trump and Biden have been throwing everything at the Presidential election. Today, however, is judgement day when voters go to the polls. Incredibly, fear of the democratic result has meant that much of the US is boarded up in anticipation of violence. Such are the divisions in the world’s most powerful country.

The result will probably not be known until the end of the week and by that time we may find ourselves in different circumstances. The UK, apart from maybe the NW of Scotland will be in lockdown. Also, because of the desperate events in Nice and Geneva the terrorist threat level in the UK will also have been increased. And who knows, Trump may still be in power.

The farmhouse at Cairnie Fruit Farm
Cairnie farm house
Thumbs up

In spite of everything we must stay optimistic and look after ourselves and those around us. Be cheerful! If a couple of kiddywinks can do it in a cold muddy maze we can all do it. 

KY15 4QD         tel: 01334 655610        Cairnie Fruit

Ordinary, Scones

Main Street Bakery

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Honestly, the things we do for our readers! Here we were in Callander attempting to expand your sconological knowledge and encountering great difficulties. Some of the cafés were closed, some were open but did’t do scones and others we had alraedy reviewed on previous occassions … argh! The weather was also being very Scottish. And you though this sconing malarkey was easy! Suffice to say, as we gambled merrily along Main Street, we came across the Main Street Bakery. No idea how it got that name!

Internal view of Main St Bakery
Who is that?
Café??

In the window they had a display of scones that looked quite good and a sign saying “fresh coffee”. Seemed worthy of investigation. Turned out it was tiny and because of COVID they were only allowed a maximum of two people in at a time. Gadzooks, there was already an elderly gentleman sitting there. He said he was leaving soon so we told him to hurry up so that we could get in. Okay, it wasn’t quite like that but he did kindly vacate the premises and we were in, yeagh!

A cheese scone for Pat and  fruit one for me. It soon became very obvious that this is a bakery with a coffee machine and not a café as such. COVID means they can’t put all the usual stuff out on the table. So while the seating area was being sanitised my scone was being buttered and jammed behind the bakery counter. Thank you COVID!!Main St Bakery logo

Rules and regulations

Tea for Pat and coffee for me. Tea was no problem but the lady said I would have to get my coffee from the machine?? A scone at Main St BakeryI said I would have tea instead but then she offered to make me a cup of instant. Instant it was. So there you have it! A pre-loaded scone, a polystyrene cup of instant coffee and some plastic cutlery. Bet you wish you had been there! To be fair the ladies keeping this place going were doing their best and we quite enjoyed being able to sit for a while and watch the world go by outside.

The coffee and the scone weren’t actually that bad but Claridges, it most certainly was not! No topscone here. While these ladies were looking after us they were also dealing with a constant stream of customers buying from the bakery. It gave us a pretty good insight into how the hospitality industry and everyone in it is having to adapt to weird circumstances.

Santa?

Andy Burnham has not been pushed out yet but his campaign to get increased support for Greater Manchester has had some effect. Internal view of Main St BakeryNow that London has become ‘high risk’ as well, support has been increased for this level … typical! Here in Scotland the lockdown restrictions have been increased and won’t be relaxed unti November at the earliest. We are starting to worry about Santa! How will he cope with all these restrictions? What happens if he catches coronavirus. Has Boris got a contingency plan for this looming crisis?  

The US Presidential election is also looming. As humble sconeys we are completely impartial and have no opinion one way or the other but please please don’t let it be Trump!

FK17 8BD           tel: 01877 330374        Main St Bakery FB

///spud.ooze.bothered

ps our Bathurst correspondent has been in touch to show us the excellent results of some homebaking and the effect of a sconefest on their friends. Looks like these were topscones!Bathurst scones, before and after

Following a recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald he has also announced that he and fellow correspondent, the New South Welshman, are inspired by scones to take on a new 400km bike trail. Australian cycle trail scones

They won’t be doing it until next year but we are already anticipating  some interesting Aussie scone reports. Good luck to both.

Scones, Top

Café at Canada Wood revisited

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One thing about all the pubs and licensed restaurants being closed in this lockdown mess is that cafés that can still stay open are really really busy. Since we are doing a bit of covering for school holidays we had Penny, our five year old granddaughters, with us. She wanted to go to the nearby Milk Barn but when we got there it was so busy we couldn’t get in. She did, however, manage to milk Glenda, her favourite fibreglass cow.

Penny milking Glenda
The ever patient Glenda
30 minutes

We are not supposed to travel unless absolutely necessary so Café at Canada Wood which is also within a mile of home seemed like a possibility. Some people wonder why it’s called “Canada Wood”. We do as well. As a child I used to be hired to chase pigeons out of the wood so that they could be shot by posh people standing on the nearby road. Back then. because of its shape, it was always referred to as “Canada Strip”. We’ve been told, however, that if you search Google with these words you get some unexpected results.

Yes, better luck this time. We could get a table but they needed it back in half an hour. Okay, just about time for a coffee, a scone and some lunch for Penny but it probably wasn’t going to be a leisurely experience. Then again nothing where Penny is concerned can ever be described as leisurely … enough energy and smiles to light up a small city.

It actually turned out not too bad and we thoroughly enjoyed our scone.A scone at Café at Canada Wood Another topscone to add to Café at Canada Wood’s ever growing list of topscones. We stuck to our agreement and gave the table up after our thirty minutes. Not ideal perhaps but the staff were great. We certainly didn’t feel as if we were being pushed out.Internal view of the Café at Canada Wood

The bandwagon of bolshieness

However, ‘pushed out’ is maybe how Andy Burnham, Mayor of Greater Manchester might be feeling. He is refusing to impose greater coronavirus restrictions from Westminster until there is better financial support for those affected. Just what Boris needs … bolshiness everywhere he turns. The devolved administrations are bolshie. The EU is getting bolshie. Even some in his own party are now jumping on the bolshie bandwagon. COVID actually makes us feel sorry for politians just now. Damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

No sympathy for Boris, however, he’s brought all his troubles on himself through his own bumbling ineptitude. Now, he and his old school pals have passed a Bill allowing countries with lower food standards than ours to import into the UK! The beginning of a long downward slippery slope aimed at facilitating the US, with its shockingly poor food standards.

Argh!!

Spare a thought for Scotland in all this. The strict COVID restrictions are okay … perfectly understandable. What is much more difficult to comprehend, however, is that Scotland still has a Tory government it has never ever voted for. Also, the EU, at least, gave us some say over our own destiny through devolution but now Westminster is destroying that with the Internal Market Bill. Not to mention being dragged out of the EU towards some sort of utopia that only exists in  Boris’ head. And they wonder why we complain so much? On top of all that, we’re now going to be force-fed American chlorinated/hormone/antibiotic riddled food. Rant over … until the next one.

FK1 3AZ        tel: 01324 612111           Canada Wood

///airtime.dozens.levels

ps: After we posted a picture of a sign in Dunblane while we were at the Beech Tree Café the Pedant sent us this picture he took in Ely.

An Ely toilet sign
The Dunblane sign on the left together with the Ely sign

No one has ventured any suggestions as to what constitutes a  “Comfort Partner”  … still a mystery!

If you live in Derbyshire you’ve probably seen one of these before. For those who don’t, here it is … a Derbyshire scone, kindly sent to us by our  Nottingham correspondents. They are rookies so, unfortunately,  no more detail. Looks pretty good though.A Derbyshire scone

Ordinary, Scones

The Beech Tree Café

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Logo of the Beech Tree CaféAs of 6pm last night the whole central belt of Scotland went into lockdown again. Not quite as draconian as the previous one but pretty strict nevertheless. All licensed premises are closed and we are forbidden from visiting anyone else’s home. The rest of Scotland can still serve alcohol but only outdoors. This is Scotland at the end of October so they might as well close as well. We think that COVID is responsible for us developing an allergy … to the news! All these rules and regulations, facts and figures have started making us feel decidedly queezy.

Dunblane High Street
lower part of Dunblane High Street

It was a pleasure, therefore, to be out and wandering around in Dunblane’s High Street on a wonderful autumn day and ending up here at the Beech Tree Café.

We had parked in the High Street because there were no signs to say we couldn’t. Later, however, we spied a traffic warden putting tickets on cars … arggh! When we spoke to the him, however, he assured us we got the first hour free so we had time to go for a coffee. Sigh of relief but we couldn’t understand why there were no signs giving us this information. It wasn’t until we got home and were looking at the photos that we realised where we had gone wrong. I had taken a photo of this sign because I thought it was odd and hadn’t noticed the sign beneath it. Heyho! Still don’t know what a ‘comfort partner’ is but after all this parking stress I feel I need one.Internal view of the Beech Tree Café

Pixies

Anyway, the Beech Tree Café is definitely the place to destress. It has been going for seventeen years and is a family run affair. Sisters Trisha and Vicky. mum Wilma and Auntie Liz … otherwise known as “The Beech Tree Babes”. They don’t employ a chef but have pixies that come in every morning to prepare all the food from scratch. The pixies bake the scones as well … exciting! We think we were attended to by Wilma who refered to us as “my darlings”. We’re sure that nothing would ever get this lady down, she was irrepressibly welcoming and cheerful.

It was still morning so after a delicious brunch we asked for a fruit scone to share. We tend not to do morning scones but hey, what the hell, you have to take your chances in these uncertain times. It took a wee while to appear but then  we remembered “we don’t do fast food, we do fresh food as fast as we can” was their motto. When it did eventually appear we were more than a little astonished. A scone at the Beech Tree Café

It had been split into two halves and each half was already preloaded with jam and cream. And then some more cream and then a little bit more cream .. wow! Wilma put one half in front of Pat saying “ for my gorgeous girl” and then the other in front of me saying “for my gorgeous boy”. Well, blow me down! Pat gets that every day but no one has said that about me since my mother when I was about one year old. Topscone right away … for acute powers of observation if nothing else. I would have simply put it down to flattery if it hadn’t been so damned accurate!

Top or bottom?

Pat likes the top of the scone when we share but this time I got the top … first time ever! Thank you Wilma! Defo topscone! Steady on Bill, don’t get completely carried away! You all know by now our well documented views on preloaded scones so even though the scone itself was great and despite the compliments, we couldn’t really award a topscone, shame! When I was paying the bill Wilma slyly whispered with a wink “was there enough cream on your scone?” I think it was rhetorical. Anyway this gorgeous boy was very happy with his visit to the Beech Tree Café and wouldn’t hesitate to go back again … and neither would Pat.

Anticipation and miracles

Boris Johnson has made an announcement to say that he is going to make an announcement next week. Can’t wait, the anticipation is excrutiating! Also, after Trump declaring that God had saved him from coronavirus we’re pretty sure the world will have turned totally atheist by now! Having said that, we were well over our free hour by the time we got back to the car and we hadn’t got a ticket … thank you God?

FK15 0AA         tel: 01786 823451        Beech Tree FB

///acute.whisk.youthful

Scones, Top

Craigie’s Farm Café

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With much of the west of Scotland being in fairly strict lockdown we decided to go east for a spin in the car. We ended up in Dalmeny, a place we had never been before. The reason for that soon became apparent … there’s a school and a station and that’s about it. We left and quickly ended up amongst a plethora of wee roads with high hedgerows on either side. We were completely lost … no idea where we were.  Every junction seemed to be bereft of signage. And then, as if by magic, we suddenly came on a sign “farm shop, coffee, cakes”. And so we came to Craigie’s Farm Café or Craigie’s Farm Deli and Café to give it its full title. We still had no idea where we were but we were relieved to come across what we guessed was a certain scone stop.

Busy, busy

Judging by the car park, lots of other people did know where they were … either that or they were all lost, like us. When we put Craigies Farm Café into our phones we discovered that we were almost in Edinburgh’s outskirts. That probably explained why it was so busy.

Craigie’s farm has been in the Sinclair family for four generations and they are all involved in what is a large and thriving business. A busy building site next to the café turned out to be a new shop complex to double the existing facities. No shortage of confidence here.

Internal view of Craigie's Farm CaféWe were quickly ushered to a seat in one of the three restaurant areas attached to the shop. The business began in a small shed back in 1995 but now it employs more than sixty staff. They still grow all their own fruit and vegetables, make all their own jams and cakes. How come we’ve never heard of this place before?

Cosy?

A scone at Craigie's Farm CaféAnyway, after an absolutely delicious lunch we opted to share a fruit scone with our tea and coffee. It came with little pots of jam and cream and it was just as we like our scones, crunchy on the outside and nice and soft in the middle. It wasn’t too hard to decide that it was worthy of a topscone. We like everything about Craigie’s. It could never be described as ‘cosy’ but then none of these places ever fall within that category. It was obviously very popular and with all the development going on outside they were obviously trying to cater for ever increasing demand. Brilliant in these times when making business decisions like that is so tricky. The Sinclairs could probably teach Trump a thing or two about how business should be conducted.

The crown

Uncertain times have obviously shaken President Trump’s normal blustering confidence. Lying in his hospital bed with time to think, doubts must have started creeping in. He obviously thought that he might be losing his crown as the World’s Biggest Idiot so decided to go on a motor cavalcade outside the hospital to wave to his adoring fans. Thus he endangered everyone around him in an act which his own doctor called “insanity”. It was all completely unnecessary. There are a few candidates for that crown but we can’t see any of them wrestling it away from him any time soon.

Before we left we bought some stuff from the deli shop. The highlights were some buffalo sausages and some Minger cheese. When we asked why it was called Minger, the girl, held it towards us, and said “Take a sniff!” Okay, okay we understand! You will be delighted to hear that after leaving Craigie’s we negotiated our way home without getting lost once.

EH30 9AR       tel: 0131 319 1048        Craigie’s Farm Deli and Café

///keen.tell.runner

Ordinary, Scones

Porto & Fi Deli Bistro

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Porto & Fi logoOkay, okay, okay, we know what you’re thinking. How can we be sitting in Porto & Fi Deli Bistro munching scones after witnessing the US Presidential Debate. Of course it wasn’t actually a ‘debate’, more of a debacle of which any two self-respecting schoolboys would have been utterly ashamed. It reminded us of our last UK Johnson/Corbyn election … blithering idiot versus the unelectable. Since Trump wouldn’t last in a rational organised debate he adopted the only tactic open to him … unruly bully boy. In our eyes Biden probably squeezed it but only because he didn’t sink quite as low as his adversary. How come America is left having to choose between these two?

Entitlement

Back in the UK we like to think that things are a bit more civilised. However, the rules surrounding COVID have become so complex that no one, including Boris, understands them. Woe betide you should you break any of them (whatever they are), heavy fines if you live in England! Rules are rules … right? Well, not if you’re one of the entitled and titled folks who live in the Westminster bubble. Pubs across the land now have to close at 10pm but not the plethora of pubs and bars at Westminster? Face coverings have to be worn in taxis everywhere … except in chauffeur driven cars? These exceptions amply demonstrate the attitude of our ruling classes to the ordinary scone eating man in the street. Chaos in the US, chaos in the UK, a festering war erupting in Azerbaijan … it’s a wonderful world?

The view from Porto & Fi
View from Porto & Fi. The original harbour was created in 1504 to-build the warship Great Michael for the Royal Scottish Navy … imagine Scotland with its own navy!

Our chauffeur had the day off (he actually has every day off) so we had to drive ourselves the twenty miles to Newhaven in north Edinburgh to visit Porto & Fi Deli Bistro. ‘Porto’ refers to the harbour and ‘Fi’ refers to Fiona, the head chef. Many moons ago someone recommended this place but for the life of us we cannot remember who. We are indebted, however, because it’s great. Super to see it going like a fair and everyone being really respectful of everyone else in terms of face coverings, distancing etc. Internal view of Porto & FiThey have a thriving takeaway trade and a couple of tables outside on the pavement. However, although it was a glorious day, we were fortunate to get an inside table at a window … we could people watch while enjoying lunch. At one point a lady wandered past leading a totally suicidal looking bloodhound. It could have been joyous for all we know but how would you tell? First bloodhound we’ve seen in years.

French jam?

A scone at Porto & FiAfter a lunch of fish gougons, burgers and the most delicious curly chips we opted to share a fruit scone with our tea. Unfortunately this was where a little bit of negativity crept in. The scone iteslf was lovely and warm and had a nice crunchiness to it. They don’t do cream, however, and on top of that it was accompanied by Irish butter and French jam. Mamamia!! After careful consideration we decided there were too many downsides to award a topscone .., shame! We will be back though … breakfasts look fab!

Breeks

Newhaven fishery c1840
Fisherboy wearings his father’s breeks

From a personal point of view Newhaven is famous for the photographs of Robert Adamson and Octavious Hill. They documented life in the town in the 1840s when photography was real photography. None of this fandangled digital stuff back then! In spite of all the difficulties experienced by such early pioneers they still delivered some fabulous images of the people and times. They remind us that, considering I never had to wear my father’s trousers, perhaps the world we live in today isn’t that bad after all. Many thanks Porto & Fi, we really enjoyed our visit. Just take a look at your scone accoutrements and you will be perfect.

EH6 4NQ        tel: 0131 551 1900         Porto & Fi

///urgent.zeal.occurs

Scones, Uncategorized

The Little Big Dairy Company

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The Little Big Dairy logoThis post is slightly different.  It doesn’t actually involve any scones directly but rather indicates how to ensure your scone is spoilt rotten by treating it and yourself to some real cream. It’s all part of sconology. According to our New South Welshman correspondent (rides shotgun for our Bathurst correspondent), cream doesn’t come any better than that produced by the Little Big Dairy Company and its herd of 800 Holstein cows. In his own words, here’s why:

“The first Saturday in September is Father’s Day in New South Wales (remember we are no longer Australians, but a collection of warring states). Little big Australian real creamYour Bathurst corespondent’s loving daughter presented a most wonderful jar of health-giving cream, from a small family-owned ethical dairy. Food for thought.  In my childhood milk was extracted from a happy cow, placed in a large bowl in the fridge, and later the cream scooped from the top with a large spoon. Oh, bliss!   Occasionally a separator was used— awful to wash up.  At the same time, most farm kids had lumps or scars in their necks from bovine TB. Scottish milk was described (in Microbiology lectures in the late 1960s) as “ Tuberculous Pus”

Public health rules have undoubtedly produced many benefits, but pondering the origins of our food is important. Most milk in Western countries is now produced in industrial factories. Cows in sheds, no sunshine, no happy days playing in green grass. Cream emerges from the end of a factory, great distances from the cow

Jam on top?

Little big Australian real cream
Stand your spoon up cream

Your Bathurst correspondent was in heaven eating his ethical cream on fresh scones. (It’s so thick it must be eaten in the Devon way— cream first, jam on top — even if YOUR Queen disagrees). Pay a bit more, get the real stuff”.

Fantastic, more power to the Little Big Dairy Company! However, we may have to agree with Her Majesty about cream placement … no matter how thick it is! We would like to say that we were not around in the 60s to enjoy “ Tuberculous Pus” but of course we were. Happily, we can report wonderful silky smooth necks though some say that’s due to continuous use of Brasso. Unfortunately, for most readers, you have to live in New South Wales to enjoy the benefits of the Little Big Dairy Company’s produce. In this globalised world, however, it would not surprise us if someone started importing Little Big cream to the UK. Crikey, we complain about Scotland importing Rodda’s Cornish cream.

Good riddance

He also comments on some political news. Even though he says Australia is now a collection of warring states they all seem to have come together in a show of unity to say “good riddance” to former Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott. In case you don’t know, in yet another of Boris’s brain farts, he has appointed Abbott as an official trade adviser to the UK. “Thank you so much for taking Tony Abbott off our hands. If “ The Mad Monk “ is your answer, what is your question??   Our pugilistic, misogynist, climate change denying, failed ex-Prime Minister will happily negotiate away anything you value. Goodbye NHS, affordable pharmaceuticals, any health, ethical or environmental regulations. Welcome chlorinated chicken and any man-made toxin now banned in the EU. Please keep him. He and Boris obviously get on very well.”

Mystery?

No wonder they get on very well! Boris Johnson says that Abbott was elected by the “great liberal democratic nation of Australia”, but he fails to note that Abbott broke almost every election promise he ever made. Abbott reckons climate change is “absolute crap” and as far as we know he has never negotiated a trade deal in his life. Maybe Boris just wants some advice on how to cope with being ditched after only one term in government. How do eejits like Abbott, Johnson and Trump get elected to the highest office in the first place? It’s a mystery! It’s unbelievable!

Our New South Welshman ends reassuringly: “We are surviving well by finding small pleasures in life, like a shared liking of scones”. Nice to think that on the opposite side of the world we are surviving in exactly the same way. Many thanks JB, keep up the good work.

Dubbo NSW 2830           tel: +61 02 6887 3443          Little Big Dairy

///basher.fashioning.sour

K2 telephone box
FMF hope to persuade BT to reinstall a K2 in the High Street … the only K2 in Scotland.

ps: Our telephone box enthusiasts will be pleased to hear that our little organisation Falkirk Made Friends (FMF) have convinced BT to take away all removal notices from the town’s telephone boxes and persuaded the local Council to adopt three of them. Falkirk manufactured the first K2 boxes in 1926 and, over the years, most of the subsequent K4s and K6s. The town was within a week or so of completely losing this iconic symbol of its industrial heritage. There is much more work still to be done to ensure their future in the form of an Iron Heritage Trail. In the meantime, we would be grateful for photographs of telephone boxes from anywhere in the world.

Ordinary, Scones

The Orangery at Victoria Square

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We know, it’s been some time since our last post. And before we’re accused of bone idleness it’s because we’ve been busy with other things. Pathetic we know, we should sort out our priorities! We haven’t quite started galavanting yet so this foray to The Orangery at Victoria Square, in Stirling, seemed like a good, if still slightly tentative step, into the big bad world of coronavirus sconology.

It was recommended by the Laird, a valued correspondent of long standing. His full title is the Laird of Dumyat (pronounced dum-eye-at),  a piece of land on which he has, built a 1300ft mountain …  a kind of mountainette. Thankfully, we don’t think he has any connection with the Lascivious Laird of Kippendavie who lorded it over a neighbouring property around 1765. The genteel and wholesome nature of this blog forbids us from entering into further detail.External view of Victoria Square For being retired and supposedly having nothing to do we seem to find it remarkably difficult to fit everything in. The stress, the stress! The idea of visiting this place was that it should provide an hour or two of blessed peace and tranquillity. Happily, we can report that it did just that. It did so in spades! “Can you just get on with it, what about the scones?” we hear you cry.

The rules, the rules

Bear with us a little, remember this is a COVID scone. Sign for Victoria Square Guest HouseThis is a guest house and of course, we were interested to find out how they had fared over the past few months. Unsurprisingly, “with great difficulty” was the answer. What guests they have had have been from the UK with one or two from Germany. Our host apologised for being unable to take our jackets but of course, that is no longer allowed. The Orangery is a fine dining restaurant but with only one chef allowed in the kitchen at a time, even that is difficult. The whole situation was kind of summed when she said to no one in particular “it’s quiet without the music … we can’t even have that!” 

Yes, music, singing and dancing are all forbidden. Living under COVID is akin to living under the Free Church of Scotland … you can do anything you like as long as you don’t enjoy yourself. We were enjoying ourselves immensely and fully expected thunderbolts. The lack of music meant that we could listen to other people’s conversation … sadly, none worth reporting.

Picture of a Highland cowWe also never thought we would ever find ourselves having to apologise to an entire breed of cattle. On the wall overlooking our table was this picture which we thought reminded us of Boris. We sincerely apologise to Highland cattle everywhere, it was the horns that did it.

The scones, the scones

 Okay, the scones were presented, not on the usual tiered cake stand but on a large china platter. Afternoon tea at Victoria SquareOne platter each. Only one scone each and it was, what was referred to as a “mini-scone”, can you spot it? You’re aware that we don’t really go for big scones but this even got us thinking about introducing a new ‘diminutive scone’ category.

Everything is prepared and baked inhouse and it was all wonderful. When it came to judging the scone however we felt that there was a little something missing … salt perhaps? Nice but no nice enough for a topscone. Pity, because we liked everything about this place and would love to return in better times.Internal view of Victoria Square

Hash, hash, hash!

As the UK considers going back into full lockdown again, Boris continues to hash his way through the crisis declaring that everything they are doing is “world-beating“. His “oven-ready” deal with the EU turns out to be missing most of the ingredients and now he is threatening to break an International Treaty he signed up to only months ago. Simultaneously, he is managing to make a hash of the UK as a Union of Nations. He hates devolution so much that he, in his muddled up thinking, sees Brexit as the perfect excuse to seize back devolved powers to Westminster. We really do apologise to Highland cattle everywhere!

On a more upbeat note, we see that Barbados has finally decided to come of age with its decision to drop the Queen as their head of state. Well done Barbados! Scotland can’t even govern itself never mind make grown-up decisions like that.

FK8 2QZ      tel: 01786 473920        The Orangery

///skirt.pretty.pens

Scones, Uncategorized

The Blue Wren Bush Cafe

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Here’s a question, how would we obtain a scone report from the Blue Wren Bush Cafe in Coonabarabran? The answer lies in the fact that we now have a new correspondent, a New South Welshman no less. He wrote to give us a little insight into how things are down under at the moment. Because of COVID restrictions, no one is allowed to travel across state borders and that’s going down like the proverbial lead balloon. He now thinks of himself, not as Australian but as a New South Welshman. He even says our politicians here in the UK might be worse than those in Australia. The only controversial thing about that statement is the word ‘might’!

We have never met but he’s a friend of our poetic Bathurst correspondent so that’s plenty good enough for us. All we can say is welcome to allaboutthescones. Without our antipodean correspondents we would all be completely ignorant of down under scones. And then, where would we be?

Anyway, for a break he took off in his “go anywhere” camper … anywhere in New South Wales, that is! He headed out west “in search of birds and scones” and ended up in the 5,000 km2 Pilliga Forest (not so much a “forest” as us Brits would know it but more a vast area of scrubland) and that’s how he ended up here at the Blue Wren Bush Cafe. Described as being “in the middle of nowhere”, it’s also home to the Pilliga Pottery.

Splendid

It’s part of Barkala Farm which has been run by the same family for several generations.A blue wren In the report, he mentions that he found pink cockatoos but no mention of blue wrens? Hardly surprising if they don’t actually exist! We had certainly never heard of a Blue Wren and assumed it was just a pretty name for a cafe. Not a bit of it. The Blue Wren does exist and it’s a rather gorgeous wee thing. It’s sometimes known as the Splendid Fairywren and we can easily see why. You live and learn!Menu at the Blue Wren Bush Cafe NSW

Top notch

Scones at the Blue Wren Bush CafeThe cafe makes everything from ingredients sourced on the farm, or at least locally, and by all accounts, their scones are top notch. They certainly look that way from here but it’s a bit too far to make any kind of conclusive judgement. Maybe our newfound spirit of adventure will take us to these blue wren scones and maybe even to an actual blue wren. That would be great!

NSW 2357.     tel: +61 2 6842  2239          Blue Wren

///named.anchovies.renewal

From The Blue Wren our correspondent went even deeper into the forest in search of more scones. Dedication or what?

ROSE ISLAND STATIONExternal view of rustic kitchen at Rose Isle Station

He ended up here at Rose Isle Station on the Darling River which he described as “very, very outback“. It’s a sheep station owned by Garry and Samantha Mooring who can turn their hand to just about anything. Internal view of rustic kitchen at Rose Isle StationIt could be making pizza ovens from old steam engines or baking fabulous scones. Apparently, “morning tea, baked by Samantha, in a rustic hut on the edge of the Darling is to die for“. It certainly sounds fabulous and New South Welshman even got instructions on how to make Samantha’s scones. See, it’s all in the detail!

Samantha's Rose Isle homemade scones NSW
Samantha’s traditional on the left and ‘Italian’ on the right

“Traditional scones; 3 cups SR flour, 1 1/2 cups milk,1cup cream, 1 tbsp icing sugar. Mix lightly with an old bone-handled knife, do not play with it. Cook in a hot oven.  Add homemade nectarine jam, whipped cream (No dairy cows for 500kms, so not home sourced)
Italian scones — add chopped olives, anchovies, grated tasty cheddar, sea salt, some tomato relish. Hot oven, add butter.

Sheds

Our correspondent says that it’s “Civilization in the Wild West” and states that once travel restrictions are lifted, it is definitely worth a trip from the Northern Hemisphere.

Homemade pizza oven NSW
Garry’s homemade pizza oven made from an old steam engine made in the UK. Remember when we actually made things?

He might be right! As well as scones there seems to be a lot of potential for a book of Aussie sheds. Though I suspect some may take exception to their restaurants being called sheds. I’ve already been in trouble for mistaking a church on Fraser Island for a shed!

tel: +61 (02) 6874 7371.      Rose Island

///measurable.victorious.darling

The news is full of dread about English schools going back next Tuesday and the infection problems it could cause. Scottish schools have been back for a couple of weeks and we’ve survived. Boris (Dominic Cummings) has taken advantage of the bruhaha to quietly announced that he is launching a review of judicial reviews. Ever since the Scottish courts declared his decision to prorogue Parliament as unlawful he has had it in for them. Peculiar that a government that trumpets transparency so much actually hates being scrutinised to the extent that it would seek to interfere with the independent legal system of a country. Or, knowing Boris as we do, is that actually surprising at all?

Filleting

On a slightly different tack, Pat asked me to fillet a trout the other day. It had been caught and donated by our favourite coffee correspondent. She was so impressed with the job I made of it she opted to make it into a fish pie. And delicious it was too … it’s all in the filleting. This morning I have been filleting plums for plum jam and believe I have made a slightly better job of them. At least, no raised eyebrows yet!
 

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics