Many many months ago, the Laird got in touch to say that the Rhubarb Lime Coffee Shop in the village of Kippen was worthy of investigation. Needless to say, COVID made that impossible until now. The Laird of course is the self-styled Laird of Dumyat (Dum-eye-at), a hill that provides an impressive backdrop to the City of Stirling. As it happens, self-styling in this neck of the woods is a tradition that goes back quite a long way.
Lost dinner
Back in the early 16th century King James V of Scotland (Mary Queen of Scots’ dad) was resident at Stirling Castle. When travelling outwith the castle he usually adopted the more low key guise of “The Guid Man o’ Ballengeich”. One day he dispatched a party of men to hunt for deer at Gartmore. On their return journey they were attacked and relieved of their venison by a band of men led by John Buchanan … the self-styled King of Kippen. When Buchanan was informed the venison was for the King, he said “He may be King of Scotland but I am King of Kippen“. When the men returned empty handed and told James the story he was not a happy bunny.
Lessons
He assembled some men and rode to Buchanan’s palace at Arnprior where he was refused entry. The guard saying that his master was at his dinner and was not to be disturbed. James replied, “Tell your master, the Guid Man o’ Ballengeich humbly requests an audience with the King of Kippen“. Buchanan guessed the identity of the Guid Man and received His Majesty appropriately. They became great friends and thereafter the King of Kippen was always welcomed as a brother sovereign at the Royal Court. We tell you this story because we think it may hold valuable lessons for the Vladimirs, Borises and Joes of this rather fractious world.
Anyway let’s get to the scones. Rhubarb Lime, run by Shona and Greg, is a small place but it packs a lot in. It must be a bit of a hub for the village. Besides being a cafe it also sells a good range of groceries and a great range of mostly Italian wines. My brother had joined us to experience at first hand his first real scone adventure. We decided to sit outside where we could witness village life as it happened. On the opposite side of the street was the butcher’s shop … appropriately named “Skinner of Kippen”. The service was very friendly and we were soon wonderfully sorted with some excellent lunch followed by plain scones … no fruit scones left!
Adventures
Shona had made them earlier in the day so suffice to say, the scones were excellent. The best we have tasted in a long time. 
Nicely presented with ample clotted cream and raspberry jam. They were just how we like them, lovely and soft with that slightly crunchy exterior. A very easy topscone. Before we left, Pat and I bought some wine. But my brother, still high on adrenalin from the adventure, lost all sense of self control and bought more than a dozen bottles of his favourite Primitivo.
We were surprised to find such a good range of wine in a pretty wee village like this. But perhaps we shouldn’t have been? Back in 1891 a descendent of the King of Kippen planted a vine which ended up as the biggest in the world covering 460 m2 and four large greenhouses. Unfortunately in 1964 it was cut down by yet another descendent so Greg has to source his wine directly from Italy. Apparently cuttings from the original vine (Gros Colman variety) are still flourishing in greenhouses all over the village and the surrounding area, so the old vine lives on.
Will Team Scotland live on in the European Football Championships? That’s the big question! So far they have maintained that age old tradition of losing magnificently … 2-0 against the Czech Republic. At the end of this week Scotland will be confronted by the old enemy, England. We don’t actually care who wins … and we wrote that with a straight face believe it or not? Okay, you don’t!
Traditions need to be maintained. Many thanks to the Laird, both Kings and Rhubarb Lime from the Lord and Lady of Scones!
FK8 3DN tel: 01786 870077 Rhubarb Lime
///brief.reader.blatantly