Tag Archives: Sir Keir Starmer

Klondyke Garden Centre

10th February 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

It’s that time of year again! Although we have reviewed Klondyke Garden Centre several times before, it has changed so much that we feel another review is justified. We’re not apologising … Boris doesn’t have to apologise for anything so why should we?

Choice

It’s our annual compost fix we’re after. If we don’t get it the rest of the year will definitely not go as well as it would have done otherwise. We try to restrict it to once a year … we’re not addicts … it’s for the garden. Actually, it’s for our rhubarb which we are in the process of transplanting from the garden into large pots. Reminds me of one of my dad’s favourite stories about a man passing a mental hospital pushing a barrowload of manure. An inmate pokes his head through the railings and asks him what he is going to do with it. “I’m going to put it on my rhubarb” he replied. “Oh” the inmate said “You should come in here we get custard on ours“. Okay, okay! It remains to be seen how well our rhubarb will do in pots … it’s a high risk strategy!

Anyway, over the past year or so, much work has been done at this garden centre. The car park is now vast and the centre itself is much bigger than it used to be. As well as a huge area dedicated to plants there are gift shops, clothes shops, a shoe shop and even a car wash. All this choice can be kind of bewildering and choosing compost is no exception … ericatious, John Innes, Miracle Gro, peat free, big bag, wee bag … argh!

Internal view of Topiary restaurant Klondyke — Just part one section of the restaurant/cafe area

Technology

Unsurprisingly perhaps, it wasn’t long before the lure of the cafe became overpowering. Crikey, it’s. gone huge as well. In our previous review we tried to use their new fandangled phone ‘Order & Pay’ system. It seemed to work but after waiting for twenty minutes for our order to appear we realised something had gone wrong. When we asked a member of staff she just said “no problem, I can take your order” … argh! This time we ordered at the self service counter but they still seem to be using the same phone system at the tables. It must work sometimes so might try it again next time.

The scones were quite big so we decided to share. Expectations were not exactly high but we were pleasantly surprised. It tasted remarkably fresh and came complete with some English jam and Danish butter. The cream was whipped and nicely presented in a little glass jar. We actually swithered momentarily about a topscone but decided that the complete package just wasn’t quite right. But a bIg improvement on previous visits. Keep up the good work Klondyke Garden Centre … it’s all very impressive.

Wallpaper at restaurant Klondyke — Wallpaper in the cafe area

Also impressive is the new Falkirk Distillery which is right next door to the garden centre. It’s due to open its doors for the first time later in the year and who knows it may even serve scones in its restaurant. Exciting or what?

Trumpian?

Last time we were here in 2020 Boris Johnson was visiting Scotland. He reminded us how grateful we should be for the block grant … a gift from England!? He also said he had an “oven ready deal” for Brexit and Gove was proclaiming Brexit as the “easiest deal in history”. We all know that now, as we did then, they needn’t have bothered wasting their breath. With his administration still deep in the proverbial doodoo his latest imbecilic utterances about Keir Starmer and Jimmy Savile do not bode well for how any upcoming elections will be conducted. Looks very Trumpian to us!

All is not lost though, just as we were all about to lose faith in government of any kind, up pops ex PM and arch Tory, Sir John Major, to tell it like it is … or rather, how it should be! A Tory with a brain and a heart … whatever next?

We’ll keep you posted on the rhubarb!

FK2 0XS tel: 01324 717035 Klondyke

///staple.reap.rooms

And just when you thought the world could not get any crazier, we came across this car with a banana stuck up its exhaust. What’s that all about?

Later still, I watched as a flock of siskins fought and squabbled over a load of sunflower hearts. Totally illogical because there was more than enough for them all. Unfortunately though, when it comes to our planet’s resources, we are all just siskins. That should have been a Tweet really?

Scones

Dunimarle Castle

8th October 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

We are cheating a bit with this post. We’ll explain as we go along. Dunimarle Castle is something of a revelation for us. It stands on a highly elevated site overlooking the Firth of Forth just a twenty minute drive away from home. And yet we had never heard of it or even seen it until today. How on earth can that happen? Sometimes we surprise ourselves with the depth of our own ignorance.

Wellintonia avenue at Dunimarle Castle — Avenue of Wellingtonias used to from the main entrance to the castle

Don’t get on the wrong side of the king

Turns out that back in the 11th century this was the seat of the Thane of Fife, Lord MacDuff. He had upset the king, MacBeth by not attending his inauguration. Consequently, MacBeth ordered MacDuff’s wife and children to be murdered at Dunimarle in order to clear the blood line. It’s just a wild guess but we think MacBeth may have been a Tory. In 1835 Dunimarle, or Castlehill as it was known originally, was almost completely demolished and rebuilt by one Magdalene Erskine.

Magdalene was quite a woman! She got married to an Admiral Sharpe when she was in her sixties but it only lasted three days … no comment! Her brother was a soldier and she intended Dunimarle to be a museum for his extensive collection of 850 artworks ‘acquired’ on his many campaigns. Recently all these artworks were moved to Duff House near Banff but we think it’s time for them to be returned … Magdalene would have wanted that!

The Edible Wall

The thing that attracted us here however was the Edible Wall. We had seen a notice about it and imagining a wall made of scones with jam as mortar … and instead of cope stones there would be lashings of cream. It had to be done! Sadly there were no scones. The wall was impressive nevertheless.

In fact there were no scones anywhere at Dunimarle, not even a cafe. We had to go a few hundred yards to the east to get a scone at the Biscuit Cafe in Culross. Technically this post should have been entitled “The Biscuit Revisited” but then, so far as we are aware, MacBeth never ordered anyone to be put to death at the Biscuit, nor does it have an edible wall. Not as good a story so hopefully you’ll forgive us for cheating just a wee bit.

The Biscuit Café

Our last post from the Biscuit was back in 2015 and although we have been back to Culross many times since then, scones have never been on the agenda. Culross is steeped in history. You get a real feel for what a 17th century village must have looked like. Names like ‘Stinking Wynd’ however may have given some of our delicate 21st century senses a bit of a shock! It’s looks also belie the fact that it was once the centre for the export of coal with the first mine in the world able to extract from beneath the sea. It also has a Palace built around 1600, though it was really more of a rather grand house for a wealthy merchant.

Enough, what about the scones, we hear you cry. It’s always a treat to visit this café. It’s part of the Culross Pottery and Gallery so there are lots of things made on the premises that you can admire and buy. It also has a conservatory and a lovely sheltered garden area for sitting out.

They only had plain scones left so after a bite of lunch we shared one between us. It was nicely presented and came with plenty jam and cream. Back in 2015 we didn’t think their scones merited a topscone award and unfortunately it was the same this time. Just didn’t quite make it. The Biscuit is always worth a visit though so don’t let that verdict put you off in any way.

Street view in Culross — typical Culross street

Comedians

Last time we wrote about this place Jeremy Corbyn had just unexpectedly triumphed in the Labour leadership elections. At last there was some clear blue water between Labour and the Conservatives. Now, of course, Corbyn is history but in spite of now being led by a knight of the realm that clear blue water now looks ever more brown and murky. So with no opposition whatsoever over the past decade we now have a stand up comedian in charge of the country. To observe the sunny uplands that Boris keeps seeing we know that we would have to have many more pints of whatever he is on! We’re not that ignorant.

Great day at Dunimarle and the Biscuit.

DUNIMARLE CASTLE: KY12 8JN tel: 07713 629040 Dunimarle

///stunts.relief.snitch

THE BISCUIT CAFE: KY12 8JG The Biscuit

///spoons.depending.encroach

Scones, Uncategorized

COVID-19

4th April 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

This is not a government public service announcement about COVID-19! It’s just us! In these extraordinary times where we cannot access new scones, we thought we should try and reassure readers. Especially those concerned about the onset of scone withdrawal symptoms being mistaken for those of coronavirus. Have no fear! Coronavirus symptoms are a high temperature and a dry cough whereas those for scone withdrawal consist mainly of an intense, almost debilitating, sense of longing..

Because, of course, commercial scone baking has crashed we are left with little choice but to do it ourselves … provided you can get the ingredients. That’s not for everyone, so in these difficult times, we have decided that we can probably keep sconology going by simply digging into the archives. There won’t be any “fresh” scones but it may be interesting to look back and see if the rants were in any way justified. We may theme them. The first will probably be “island scones”. Not because there are better scones on the islands, more because we just like islands and, if nothing else, we will enjoy a little bit of nostalgia. Maybe one repost every week! Of course, that’s if we can figure out how to do it! If anyone would rather not receive them, please just let us know.

Texas and all that

We hope the UK is heading towards some sort of peak in the current pandemic but how will we know for definite when this pandemic is over? How will we know when normality has returned? Well, first of all, we need to go back in time to 1827. That’s when Beethoven died, Texas was still part of Mexico, Hussein Duval slapped the French consul’s face leading to the invasion of Algeria in 1830 and the term “socialist” was first used by Robert Owen. That last one is particularly apt since today the Labour Party elected Sir Keir Starmer as its new leader. He has a tough job making Labour electable again however we wish him well in providing some sort of opposition to the current hapless government.

Most importantly though, 1827 was the year our local pub, the Woodside Inn, first opened. It’s been serving the local community ever since. That is until two weeks ago when it closed its doors for the first time. Mon Dieu! Is this really the end of the world as we know it? I have been going there for well over fifty five years. So there you have it! We will recognise the return to normality when these doors open again. Hopefully, that won’t be too long!
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Stay safe

In the meantime, we thought we should toast you, our readers and all our wonderful worldwide correspondents for sticking by us through all the trials and tribulations of sconology. Together we will triumph but in the meantime, stay safe!

Scones, history and a dollop of politics