Clootie McToot, in the little village of Abernethy, makes clootie dumplings and exports them all over the world. One of its dumplings has even made it to Everest basecamp. They could never be described as ‘light’ so don’t think anyone would actually want to carry one to the summit. Great sustenance though! Essentially, you can have anything you want in Clootie McTooties as long as it’s dumpling … correction, they also make scones.
Rhyming dumplings
If you are not from Scotland and are wondering what a clootie dumpling is then let us explain. Nowadays, making them is something of a lost art but Pat’s mother and my mother along with many other mothers used to make them regularly. You take the ingredients, a bit like those for Christmas cake, wrap them in a ‘cloot’ (cloth) and boil them forever. They were immortalised in this children’s poem:
Obviously, pouring a dumpling out of the spout of a kettle is impossible but that didn’t matter back in those days, we used to recite it with great joy.
Magic dumplings
Sometimes the cloot would be a pillow case because many dumplings were the size of a football and were so heavy only your mother was capable of lifting them. Dumplings also had magical properties. When children got a portion they would, after a bit of rummaging, inevitably find a coin wrapped up in grease proof paper … so exciting! For some reason, my father always got a button? A big dumpling would last our family a week … hot, cold, sliced, fried … or hot with custard, cold with custard, fried with custard. No, not that last one but you get my drift. Suffice to say that Michelle, who runs Clootie McToot, has taken it upon herself to resurrect clootie dumplings and introduce them to a brand new audience … well done her.
We were looked after by young lass, Daisy, who was forever polite and attentive. After some soup for lunch she offered us cheese scones or chocolate orange scones. You guessed it, Pat went for cheese whereas the chocolate orange just had to be done … living on the edge! When they arrived on our table the only way to describe them was “impressive”.
Finger licking
Mine had a dollop of chocolate sauce on top and Pat’s cheese scone was simply “huge”. 
The chef actually came out and apologised. He had left someone else in charge of portioning the scones that morning and they had ended up a bit bigger than they should have been. On the basis that they shouldn’t really be a meal in themselves we normally don’t like big scones but these were sooo good. The chocolate orange one tasted really chocolatey and orangey with a lovely texture and crunchy exterior. The chocolate splodge on top meant it all got a bit messy but absolutely ‘finger licking’ good. Pat said her scone was one of the best she had ever tasted even though she couldn’t eat it all. Topscones all round, yeah!
If ever we needed a Treaty?
Events in Ukraine are disastrous for all concerned. Unimaginable for us quietly sitting here in Clootie McToot in a sleepy little village like Abernethy. Having said that, Abernethy was not always like this … once it was the “capital” of the kingdom of the Picts. The round tower you see in the picture, just outside Clootie McToot’s door, is only one of two in Scotland. It dates from the 11th century. The Treaty of Abernethy, signed here in 1072, between Malcolm III, King of Scotland and William the Conqueror, actually secured an uneasy peace between England and Scotland that lasted more than a week! If we could get Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelenskyy to come to Abernethy maybe they would sign another treaty? Dumpling incentives could be involved?
Aqua vitae
They have quite a range of dumplings for sale so we are now the proud owners of a Clootie McToot cherry, date & Lindores aqua vitae dumpling. It’s delicious! The aqua vitae comes from the local Lindores distillery which opened its modern facility in 2017 but whisky has been distilled on the site since 1494. Clootie McToot also have dumpling kits and dumpling classes. So you, dear reader, have no excuse.
PH2 9JB. tel: 01738 850795 Clootie
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