Woodlane of Doune Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Here’s another random scone. When you walk along Main Street in the peaceful little village of Doune, apart its rather formidable castle, you probably wouldn’t ever imagine that it was once famous for the manufacture of guns. Yet from the mid 1600s to the late 1700s pistol making was the main industry here. All that is long since gone and the reason we come here nowadays is not for guns but for dresses. Or, whenever we think we have accumulated too much money! Woodlane of Doune is an excellent ladies dress shop for sorting that problem out.

It was when Pat was in a changing room that I was asked if we were going across the road to the Buttercup Cafe afterwards. I said that we had been there recently and thought we would try and find somewhere else. “Oh, you should try James’ Coffee Bar” was the reply “It’s open air but it has a roof … and it’s not far from here.“

Being outside

We’d never heard of it. We were intrigued … open air in December? With what little money we had left we took our leave of Woodlane carrying several large bags. The ladies in the shop, however, had given us clear directions to James’ Coffee Bar so we set off to find it. It’s in the middle of nowhere on a road that we never use so that’s why we hadn’t come across it before. It sits adjacent to Stockbridge Nurseries Garden Centre and takes the form of one of those American Airstream aluminium trailers. The seating area is ‘outdoors’ but the roof is extensive and on a dull but nice day like today it was rather good to be ‘outside’.

Local products

The first thing we saw at the counter was the scones and just a few other cakes and things. Then we realised there was huge menu on the wall beside where we were standing. Eventually the order was two bacon rolls and a fruit scone to share. The girls in the trailer were delightful and soon had us sorted with everything we needed. No fine china here but, of course, in an establishment like this that would have been totally inappropriate. Our scone came in a cardboard tub along with a jar of jam, a wee tub of cream and a wooden knife. The coffee, Grumpy Mule was good but no as good as our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas. Puzzles us why people use companies hundreds of miles away while there are local products which are just as good, if not better.

Other than that we really enjoyed James’. It’s a family run enterprise born from the restrictions forced upon them by COVID. When we were finished we simply tipped everything into the appropriate recycling bins. For us it was just a little out of the ordinary and a bit of fun. We hope they go from strength to strength. Now that we know where it is the summer will doubtless see us back at James’.

Football business

For us the World Cup is proving to be not so much fun. In spite of FIFA pretending that they run and organise the event this one is pretty obviously being run by Qatar. Nothing happens without their approval. The whole thing, right down to them piping bird song into newly created parks is just a bit weird. The promised ‘greenest’ World Cup ever has proved to be a joke. Human rights seem to be another joke with all our home teams being too lily livered to wear an armband. Christiano Renaldo ‘not being sure‘ whether to accept £173m for a two year contract in Saudi perhaps illustrates all that is wrong with the modern business of football! AND, we have to have something to moan about!

FK15 9ND Tel: 07936 078661 James’ Coffee Bar

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In the late 16th century, Lady Doune of Doune Castle, otherwise known as Margaret Campbell, must have been a formidable woman indeed. Her son was known as the Bonnie Earl of Moray because of his good looks, athleticism, skill on the dance floor and his love of scones. Haven’t been able to verify this last claim but we just think he would have been an avid sconey. However, these attributes ended up making him an enemy of King James VI whose Queen, Anne of Denmark, was paying too much attention to the Bonnie Earl. Unfortunately the King was a Boris-like knock-kneed slobbering individual with none of the charms of the young Earl. Eventually, James got the Earl of Huntly, otherwise known as the Cock o’ the North, to take “whatever measures necessary” against Moray.

Best laid plans

In 1592, Huntly contrived to burn Moray to death by setting fire to another of Moray’s country seats at Donibristle in Fife. Moray fled with his head on fire but was struck down by Huntly’s men. Huntly drew his dirk and slashed Moray across the face. The Bonnie Earl’s last words were “You, Huntly – you have spoiled a better face than your own!”. Ouch! Definitely a sconey!

Now this may sound a bit like modern day politics. Unbelievably, Huntly, the King and everyone else associated with the dastardly deed denied all knowledge. Sound familiar? We now think that the Duke of York’s current memory problems may actually be a hereditary affliction affecting all aristocracy. No doubt due to centuries of in-breeding! It’s just a thought but maybe we should cut him some slack … or maybe not?

Mothers

Moray’s mum, Lady Doune wasn’t having any of it and sought to expose all concerned. She had her son’s naked, stabbed and mutilated body put on display in the Kirk of Leith. A painting of the body was made for exhibition. She had his blood stained shirt paraded through the streets of Edinburgh. The outrage was such that the King had to go into hiding for a while in Glasgow and Huntly was imprisoned at Blackness Castle. That’s mothers for you.

Internal view of the Coffee Bothy atDeanston Distillery, Doune

Anyway, all this is simply to tell you that today we are in Doune visiting one of Pat’s favourite shops. After a couple of hours of fairly intensive retail therapy, however, we were both in dire need of a scone. So on this -4ºC frosty day we decided to head a few hundred yards along the River Teith to the café at Deanston Distillery. Almost three years since we were last at the Coffee Bothy. so it was due a quality check anyway.

External view of Deanston Distillery, Doune

The last time we were here the scones came as a brace and that is still the case.

A scone at the Coffee Bothy at Deanston Distillery, Doune

They are quite small but if you want to try two different types, this is the answer. Unfortunately, on this occasion they only had fruit left so that wasn’t an option. Plenty of jam and whipped cream as well so the Coffee Bothy did not disappoint second time around. Just a smidgen off topscones but very enjoyable nevertheless.

You never know the minute

In our last post about the Coffee Bothy we were lamenting the fact that Deanston distillery (about 20 miles from Falkirk) had become the closest to home. It used to be Rosebank distillery (a few hundred yards away) but it closed in 1993. It had produced Scotland’s most light and floral whisky and came to define Lowland whiskies in general. Since then, however, it has been announced that Rosebank is to be completely renovated and will reopen in the next year or so. Not only that, a brand new Falkirk distillery, imaginatively called the Falkirk Distillery, is in the process of being built at the other end of the town and will also be opening within a few months.

Bottle of whisky at Deanston Distillery, Doune

Now, although this news may not excite all sconeys please remember that both distilleries will undoubtedly feature a coffee shop. Excited now? Watch this space.

For the first time in its history, the BBC has resorted to public challenges to try and get the Prime Minister to be interviewed by Andrew Neil like all the other party leaders. No success so far but don’t be surprised if Neil’s home suddenly goes on fire with him in it.

FK16 6AG tel: 01786 843013 Coffee Bothy TA

///kneeled.blotches.fooling

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

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James’ Coffee Bar