Tag Archives: Russia

The Courtyard Tea Rooms

Now you would think that the Courtyard Tea Rooms would be easy to find. They are on the High Street in Poole and that’s not all that long. How difficult could it be?

The High Street in Poole
High Street in Poole

You will see from the title picture, however that it is just a door sandwiched between a convenience store and an Indian restaurant. Just a little door with a little sign above … easy to miss. Not a lot of people miss it however because it’s very busy so it must have a good reputation. It’s over 500 years old, not the tearooms but the building in which they are housed. Entrance to the Courtyard Tearooms in PooleThe entrance is down a long passageway and then you emerge into a delightful little courtyard. There are several little sitting-rooms off the courtyard. But we chose the courtyard itself with its ancient stone slabs that many feet must have trod before us. In 1405, local lad come privateer Henry Paye had made such a nuisance of himself with raids up and down  the French coast that a combined French/Spanish naval fleet plundered Poole in an act of revenge. If this courtyard could talk it would have a few tales to tell. Don’t think the plunderers would have had scones here but we thought we had better check them out anyway.

Internal view of the Courtyard Tearooms in Poole

Hairsbreadth

In our previous post from the Kitchen we were served very disappointing scones. Hopefully they would be better here. The young girl looking after us was fantastic. Scones at the Courtyard Tearooms in PooleGood happy service can change a fairly mundane meal into something special but this time we had a really nice lunch which she made extra special. Unfortunately she couldn’t quite do it for the scones. Henry Paye would probably have bisected each scone with a swish of his cutlass but we just uses the knives we were presented with. Not so heroic, perhaps but we didn’t have a cutlass. They were almost topscones. Very good, with nice bowls of jam and cream but their overall consistency meant that they just missed out by a hairsbreadth. This is a really nice place, however, and we recommend that you pay it a visit next time you are in Poole.

Back in the USSR, you don’t know how lucky you are, boy

Normally, we don’t have much in the way of praise for politicians … maybe you’ve noticed? However, we feel that with the passing of Mikhail Gorbachev, the last President of the USSR, we should make an exception. When you think of Soviet Presidents the word ‘charming’ is not one that comes readily to mind … but he was! Not many people could honestly say they changed the world … but he could! Although he didn’t mean to dismantle the Soviet Empire, because of his actions, it happened anyway. Momentous, and with hardly a drop of blood being shed … contrast that with Putin’s Russia of today.

The USSR is something our children have probably only heard of through  a Beatles song. Strange words such as glasnost  and perestroika  became part of our everyday language. The collapse of the Berlin Wall … these were heady days indeed, full of optimism and hope … contrast that with the world today. If Gorbachev had been a scone he would have been a topscone … praise indeed!Sign for the Courtyard Tearooms in Poole

BH15 1BT         tel: ????            The Courtyard Tearooms FB

///mugs.vouch.scarf

Gleneagles

Gosh, it’s a month since our last post about the Platinum Jubilee. Apologies to those who have been patiently waiting … and to those who have been enjoying the peace and quiet. We thought we should start again in style so we’ve come to Gleneagles.

View from Gleneagles Hotel
View over Glendevon from the Glendevon Room
A Highland Playground

Gleneagles is one of these places, like the Connaught and Claridges, that doesn’t need to bother putting ‘hotel’ after its name. You’re just supposed to know. It’s the playground of the rich and famous. So what on earth are you doing there, we hear you ask? Okay, did you know that Gleneagles has three Championship golf courses and one nine hole course. Surely that’s way more than enough? Did you know that it has a Shooting & Fishing School an Equestrian Centre and the British School of Falconry. Did you know that it hosted the G8 summit in 2005 with the likes of Blair, Putin, Berlusconi, Bush and Chirac? All largely forgotten, apart from one, of course. That was before G8 became G7 after Russia was suspended in 2014 for being a bad boy and invading Crimea. Goodness, that seems like a relatively minor misdemeanour now!

The Glendevon at the Gleneagles Hotel
The Glendevon Room, the scene of the G8 dinner hosted y the Queen  …. and now our scone

Of course, none of that is of any interest to us, we are only here for the scones. Having said that, we also have a very special Canadian  with us (Pat’s brother) who we are determined to introduce the genteel  refining intricacies of taking afternoon tea. You know what those Canadians are like … bit rough around the edges! What better place to do it than this? If they can’t do a decent afternoon tea here then there is precious little hope left for the world. Okay, he only wanted to be out on one of the golf courses rather than doing this but, much to his dismay, we stuck to our guns.

Friendly service

There are over 1000 staff servicing the 232 rooms so expectations were high in terms of service. We were not to be disappointed. In fact, in many ways our expectations were exceeded.

Cakes at Gleneagles Hotel
top tier of the sweet stand

The staff looking after us, of which there were many, were all great. Not only did they take the time to explain all the sandwiches and other delicacies we were getting but also took the time to answer our questions about the hotel and all the people who have stayed there. Some, even more famous than us! As you can imagine, a stay at Gleneagles is not exactly cheap, quite the reverse. So the staff were impressed to hear that my dad had been a guest here for six months. Eventually I had to divulge that it was when the hotel had been turned into a hospital during WWII. He was recuperating after a bad motorcycle accident.

The ballroom at Gleneagles Hotel
the Ballroom but no dancing today

Anyway, back to the scones. Forgive us if we go In to slightly more detail than usual. Before you get anything here they give you a little champagne glass into which they pour some iced tea … very nice. That’s followed by an amuse bouche of tomato consommé … very nice again. Then they bring the savoury three tier stand BOTTOM TIER Perthshire smoked salmon with sweet dill mayonnaise sandwich +  egg mayonnaise with mustard cress sandwich +  Tweed valley roast beef with nasturtium  butter sandwich. MIDDLE TIER vol-au-vent with red onion marmalade, goats cheese broad bean, radish, carrot and candied walnut + toasted pickelet with white crab meat and creme fraiche + Hardwick lamb sausage roll with lovage emulsion and choucroute. TOP TIER pea, cabbage and potato croquette + toasted charcoal baguette with pickled cucumber smoked trout and golden beetroot. No scones!

Peachy

Then, only then, when you have stuffed yourself with all this deliciousness do they bring out the next three tier sweet stand. Argh! Afternoon tea at GleneaglesBut at last we caught our first sight of the “soft and fluffy” buttermilk scones. Would we have room for them let alone everything else? The scones were indeed soft and fluffy as described but with a slight crunchiness as well … perfect. They came with loads of jam and clotted cream, all beautifully presented. A very easy topscone. Sitting here in our secluded little alcove gazing out across the croquet lawn to the sunlit hills of Glendevon you could easily think that everything is absolutely peachy with the world. You would be completely wrong, of course,  but just for a moment … 

Doggy bag at Gleneagles HotelNeedless to say we could not get near finishing everything that we had been presented with … even when it was washed down with copious quantities of Glendevon blend tea. And this being Gleneagles, even our ‘doggy bags’ were posh. A custom made handbag style box in which we could transport our leftovers back home. Did our Canadian feel enlightened by this experience? Of course he did … a “soft and fluffy” scone at Gleneagles … who wouldn’t be?

PH3 1NF        tel: 01764 662231         Gleneagles Hotel

///claim.facing.showcases

ps: if there is anywhere in Scotland that can rival Gleneagles for culinary expertise and originality it is the Oystercatcher restaurant in the lovely little village of Portmahomack. And guess what, our Trossachs correspondents are on the loose again and that’s exactly where they are. As well as a fabulous dinner the previous evening they sent us a picture of their breakfast … Scallops-o-Scone.

Scallops-O-Scone at the Oystercatcher, Portmahomack
Scallops-O-Scone at the Oystercatcher

They also reported on a scone they enjoyed in the company of members of the Portmahomack Salsa Drumming Band in the Carnegie Hall Cafe. The last time we reviewed this place was back in 2016 … too long ago. 

Salsa Drumming, Portmahomack 2016

Our correspondents sound like they are having a brilliant time … we need to go back.

Coffee 1

All good things must come to an end so this post finds us on our way north again after a fab time on the south coast. It’s bitter sweet … good to be heading home and at the same time sad to be leaving family behind. All we have to do is reverse the road trip we did to get down here. We’re taking a slightly different route and our first stop is in Warminster in Wiltshire … at the Coffee 1 café to be precise.

High Street, Warminster
Warminster High Street

In 1086 the Doomsday Book refered to the town as Guerminstre.  so it’s not hard to see how it ended up as Warminster. It may be famous for many things but after this post it will also be famous for its lack of tearooms – one closed for refurbishment, one a huge chain that doesn’t do scones and this one. And this one didn’t do scones either! “We might have them in again for the summer” they said.  Scones are not swallows for goodness sake, they’re not migratory. They are perfectly happy to be eaten all year round. (Please let us know if you sense we are getting grumpier, it’s difficult for us to tell).Internal view of Coffee 1, Warminster

Also, only one toilet in the entire place, what’s that all about? Do you know how long a woman (or a man) with a baby can be in a toilet? If you need to go it can seem like an eternity and unfortunately for us there were several women with babies ahead of us in the queue. We’re not sure what should be banned – places with only one toilet or women (men) with babies? Okay, we do sense an increase in grumpiness!

Sconeless

A tea cake at Coffee 1, WarminsterIn the absence of scones we had little choice but to opt for a teacake. A poor substitute but what can you do? As it turned out our teacake was rather good and they had even toasted it for us so we really have a cheek to complain. But it wasn’t a scone!! If you ever find yourself in Warminster, be warned, it is a sconeless place!

Song contests

Walking through Warminster we came on a rather nice little arcade. Warminster folks are obviously getting geared up for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

Elsewhere things are gearing up for that surreal of surreal things, the final of the Eurovision Song Contest. As if the planet didn’t have enough problems, it’s being broadcast across the world tonight. Russia has been banned … is this the reason for Putin’s inexplicable fury?

BA12 9AN     01985 213118.         Coffee 1  

///steepest.incomes.careless

Royal Station Hotel

All good things must come to an end … why oh why does that have to be true? But they do and after a wonderful few days here in Newcastle, we are heading for home. We arrived back in the city centre having been pampered for a few days in Jesmond Dene House. Our train wasn’t due for another hour so time to squeeze in another scone maybe? We ended up here at the Royal Station Hotel but it wasn’t our first choice.

Sound advice

You know how lots of pubs are called “something and something” e.g. the Hare and Hounds, the Rose and Crown etc etc. Well we were aware of a place called the Dog and Scone which was not far from the station. We ended up getting a bit lost, however, and had to ask a chap manning a fruitstall. “Dog and Scone“, he said, shaking his head “nae mannever heard of it“. He consulted with a couple of colleagues and that resulted in a kind of mass synchronised head shaking. We told him the street name “ wey aye man, that’s just doon there and alang yon lane on the right but ye don’t want to be gaein’ there man, it’s rubbish! There’s dogs everywhere on the floor on the tables, ye really don’t want to be gaein’ there, ye definitely won’t like it, there’ll be hairs in the scones!External view of the Dog and Scone, Newcastle

Limits

That’s the second ‘rubbish’ thing we’ve been told about in Newcastle. The first ‘rubbish’ thing was the Metro which turned out to be great so we thought we should still go and investigate. The friendly fruit man was spot on! We looked in the window of the Dog and Scone and true enough, there were people lying on the floor with their dogs, people sitting with dogs on their tables, dogs everywhere. Presumably they had scones but we decided there was limits to our dedication after all. We don’t even know if we would have been allowed in without a dog! We moved on and the next place we came to was the Royal Station Hotel. It’s a huge Victorian pile that forms part of the station.

Internal view of the Royal Station Hotel, NewcastleNo dogs here but not much joy either. There were signs for afternoon tea all over the place but they said they didn’t do scones, eh? When we asked how they did an afternoon tea without doing scones our waiter looked at us quizzically “ well I suppose I could ask the kitchen for a scone“, he said. The temptation to give a round of applause was almost overwhelming.

Is this cream?
A scone at the Royal Station Hotel, Newcastle

They probably thought we had a bit of a nerve because we only wanted one scone to share. To give them their due they did come quite smartly with our order. It was all quite acceptable except the cream which was just a bowl of runny stuff … completely unfit for purpose. No topscone here unfortunately but it did allow us to kill some time in more comfortable surroundings than we would have had at the Dog and Scone.

Internal view of the Royal Station Hotel, NewcastleThere were some interesting quotes painted onto the walls; “Whisky is by far the most popular remedy that won’t cure a cold” was one by Jerry Vale. It does make it much more bearable though … I can vouch for that! Sometimes I drink it even if I don’t have a cold.

Judgement?

Another quote by Ukranian philosopher, Dagobert D Runes was perhaps more topical. “Dictators long ago found that it is easier to unite people in common hatred than in common love.” Putin has certainly managed to do that. Now, however, he may be slowly beginning to realise that he has bitten off more than he can chew. Hugely overestimating the capabilities of his own forces and underestimating the bravery and resolve of the Ukrainian people. Hopefully, before long, someone will put him out of his misery.

Soon we were back on our LUMO train and heading back north with very fond memories. Newcastle itself was great but its people were fantastic. Without fail we were welcomed  by the Geordies who proved to be unstintingly helpful and  friendly. Apologies for our attempts at imitating the accent.

NE1 5DH        tel: 0191 232 0781        Royal Station

///went.list.mile

Olivers Bistro Café

Logo of Olivers in Grainger MarketNormally, when we go to London we get the East Coast line which is operated by LNER. Somewhat unexpectedly however a new kid has appeared on the line …. LUMO. They don’t do as many stops as LNER but we thought we would give them a try. So here we are in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Way aye man, welcome to Geordieland.  They speak differently down here and have a whole vocabulary all of their own … would we manage without an interpreter,? 

We were too early for our hotel so we walked up towards the Monument and ended up here in Olivers Bistro Cafe in Grainger Market.

The Monument, Newcastle
The Monument to Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey built in 1838. He was Prime Minister from 1830 to 1834 but more importantly he invented tea for posh folk?

No one could ever say that Olivers Bistro Café is fancy. The roof appears to be held up by scaffolding but it’s practical and honest … a bit like the Geordies themselves.A scone selection at Olivers in Grainger Market

The lady who took our order for a fruit scone to share and two coffees was lovely, she made us feel very welcome. After a wee chat she set off to get our order and within the blink of a eye, we had it … two coffees and one fully loaded scone … argh!

Decisions

You all know our thoughts on this unseemly practice. How much cream, how much jam … someone else had decided on our behalf. We felt disempowered! A bit like Scotland does when Westminster makes all the decisions to suit England. A scone at Olivers in Grainger MarketAnyway, we cut it up so that we could both have a piece … damn it, it was really good! And our total bill came to £5.50! We have a cheek to complain! No topscone but if you don’t mind being disenfranchised and feel an overpowering urge for a fully loaded cream scone then Olivers is definitely the place to be.

Stotties

Recovering from our scone trauma, we carried on round this vast market. You can probably get anything you can imagine here. We bought a stottie cake, a local delicacy that’s nothing like a cake but more like a big fat girdle scone. When we asked our taxi driver what we should do with ours, he said “aye man, ye can dae onythin’ ye like … ye can slice it in half and pit a full English breakfast in … that’s guid like!

Stottie cakes and double yoker eggs
Stottie cakes and double yolker eggs

We also bought some double yoke eggs. When we asked how they knew they were double yolked it threw the two ladies behind the counter into a huddle of intense discussion. Eventually the answer came … “we think it’s a special chicken!” We thought about telling them about a special loch in Scotland that has a monster, but didn’t bother.

Difference a few years makes

The last time we were in Newcastle was back in 2019 when we were catching a ferry to Amsterdam. Only a few years but it seems like an age. No COVID, we were still in the EU and there was no war in Ukraine. What’s happening in Ukraine is unbelievably awful. The fact that, in Russia, the word ‘war’ cannot be used in any publication (presumably including scone blogs) about Ukraine,   without the authors getting fifteen years jail time, kind of says it all. If you don’t hear from us for a while you’ll know what’s happened.

NE1 5QF         tel: 7944 680959.        Olivers FB

///catch.awake.causes

ps: since then we have tried two of the eggs and only one was double yoked … chicken fail! We did have the stottie cake with some fry … excellent!

Tilly Tearoom

It’s a week since our last post at Another Tilly Tearoom and here we are now at the original Tilly Tearoom in Tillicoultry. It’s also been a week since the start of the war in Ukraine. What a week of absolute horror but it has also showcased the best and worst of humanity! It’s embarrassing that we seem to be so helpless in the face of such unprovoked Russian aggression and the UK’s mean spirited attitude to refugees is even more embarrassing. The Little Englanders seem to think that these people actually want to come here? They don’t, and the few that do will undoubtedly return to their homeland just as soon as they safely can. Poland and the rest of the EU are putting the UK to shame! But honestly, what can we expect when so many of our MPs are funded with Russian money?a sign at Tilly Tearoom, Tillicoultry

Size doesn’t matter

Anyway, we also experienced the best of humanity in another area completely. Yes, in this place, Tilly Tearoom. If we had decided to do both of these tearooms we should probably have started with this one , however, given that we didn’t know that either existed you will just have to put up with them in the wrong order. This place is obviously similar to Another Tilly Tearoom but is even smaller. There’s nothing fancy, just simple food served by friendly, enthusiastic staff.Internal view of Tilly Tearoom, Tillicoultry

A delight

Laura was looking after us and she represented humanity at its best … young, pretty, enthusiastic and oozing kindness. I had to ask her what colour her hair was because I couldn’t quite place it. Pointing at her head, she said “my original colour, or this?” I said ‘this“, to which she replied “well, I’m actually blonde but I had too much time on my hands during Covid so this is Flamingo Pink“. Of course it was. Her eyelashes were so long, one careless flutter could have blown the froth off our coffees! She was a delight!

After some lunch she offered us a plain scone but “there’s one banoffee (banana and toffee) scone left if you would like that?” A scone at Tilly Tearoom, TillicoultryWe were sharing … I wanted the banoffee but Pat wanted plain. So plain it was … it’s good to know your place! It came with generous portions of jam and cream. Once again Pat had the top half and I had the bottom. It was lovely and we didn’t hesitate to award a topscone. In 2019, the Tilly Tearoom won an award as the Most Welcoming Café of the Year and we can easily understand why. When we were leaving we told Laura that the scone was the best we had had since we were at Another Tilly tearoom. She promptly asked “which was best?“, oh gosh, talk about being put on the spot?

Daring do
External view of Tilly Tearoom, Tillicoultry
Tilly tearoom with the Ochil hills in the distance

Every time I’m in Tillycoultry I think back to the the Great Tin Tray Championships of 1967. A small group of us climbed the grassy slopes of the Ochil hills that provide a backdrop to the town. We were all carrying tin beer trays. Mine was a black and gold Guinness tray, built for speed. The idea was to see who would be fastest to the bottom while sitting on the tray. Suffice to say that this side of the Ochil hills is entirely friction free. We were back at the bottom in seconds having experienced a completely uncontrolled hair raising ride. No idea who won but we all survived. Those were the days!

Make tae not war sign at Tilly Tearoom, Tillicoultry
This sign in the Tilly Tearoom makes perfect sense

 

The pictures of Mad Vlad sitting at one end of a table  with his generals sitting about half a mile away at the the other end, speaks volumes. He is unhinged to put it politely. But, with a fair wind, this should be the end for Putin!

It’s easy to feel pessimistic with everything going on in Ukraine so it seems slightly absurd to be talking about scones in such circumstances.  However, as long as we have people like Volodymyr Zelenskyy and she of the Flamingo Pink hair in Tilly tearoom, there’s hope.

FK13 6DP    tel: 01259 752642.     Tilly Tearoom

///weary.evidently.cocoons

ps: as we were leaving a small boy was tucking into the one and only banoffee scone. Annoyingly, he looked as if he was really enjoying it!

Another Tilly Tearoom

Logo of Another Tilly TearoomWhen the owners of the Tilly Tearoom in Tillicoultry decided to expand they bought this place in Dunblane near Stirling. When it came to a name, however, they were stumped. They thought and they thought and they thought … and then it came to them …. Another Tilly Tearoom, brilliant!

Gingham and teapots

It’s a very homely kind of place. A sort of jumble of tiny rooms each with two or three tables. Between each room there’s a short flight of steps so the staff have to be pretty fit to work here. The lady looking after us was super good and managed to engage everyone in friendly conversation with whizzing around the place. Fireplace in Another Tilly TearoomShe soon had us sorted out with a couple of toasted sandwiches for lunch and a scone to share afterwards. She told us that there was only one fruit scone left but she would put it to one side for us … what service! The gingham table clothes the vast teapot collection and the mismatched chinaware give Another Tilly Tearoom a pleasant cottagy feel. We were sitting right next to a big roaring fire that would have had us roasted to death if it hadn’t just been a painting. 

A scone at Another Tilly TearoomLunch was excellent and when our scone arrived it came with generous pots of jam and cream. As always Pat took the top half and, very quickly, I could tell by the mmming that we might be heading for a topscone. It was quite big so we were very glad that we were sharing but overall it was delicious. On a really horrible wet day Another Tilly Tearoom succeeded in lifting our spirits with this topscone. Now we need to try the other Tilly Tearoom.Internal view of Another Tilly Tearoom

Vlad the invader

Today is a momentous day for all the wrong reasons. Russia has invaded Ukraine, or be more precise, Vladimir Putin has invaded Ukraine. We are pretty sure that ordinary Russians have got better things to worry about than Ukraine. All the frantic diplomacy over the past few weeks seems to have come to zilch. Even Boris’s efforts came to nought. To cap it all, now Trump has come out on Vlad’s side and when you hear Putin speak you can almost hear Trump saying exactly the same words. Imagine what the US reaction would have been with Trump still in power. We live in a crazy world!

In the UK, it’s odd that the Conservative party, the upholder of freedom for all, should be funded by a communist regime like Vlad the Invader’s Russia. Hath they no scruples? That was rhetorical! We ‘re sure that much more would be made of political funding if it wasn’t for the Labour Party being in debt to China. You really couldn’t make it up!

After thirty years of independence and prosperity we feel heart sorry for all those Ukranians who now feel they have to flee their homes. Given those in charge, goodness knows what will happen now. On the railings of St Blane’s church, right next door to Another Tilly Tearoom we came across this message. Hasn’t worked in any of the  world’s other conflict zones but faced with a Putin/Trump combo it might be all that’s left! Try Praying sign in Dunblane

FK15 0ER     tel: 01786 823968        Another Tilly FB

///growth.alienated.odds

Café des Fleurs

Well, well, well! In the miniscule amount of time since our previous post at Mill House, Monzie we have chucked one Prime Minister on the scrap heap and replaced her with another … wow, such efficiency! It has to be said that the UK has a brilliant system whereby a mere handful of over-privileged, geriatric, tax dodging idiots are allowed to appoint the leader of the country. It’s amazing really but not unique … Russia and China have similar arrangements. Anyway the Trump clone that is Boris Johnston has so far refused to meet anyone in the EU … gosh, isn’t he a tough cookie? However, on Monday he did meet with Nicola Sturgeon at Bute House in Edinburgh. You shouldn’t read too much into the fact that he had to leave by the back door … no, you shouldn’t, really you shouldn’t!

Internal view of Café des Fleurs in Dollar

Day trip

Anyway, gripped as we were by Boris’s promise of a gazillion £s for Falkirk, today, to temper our excitement, we decided to get out of town and go for a drive along the Hillfoots. Turned out that our target scone cafe was  closed so we had to carry on into the pretty little town of Dollar. It’s the sort of town that probably harbours some of the idiots who voted for our new leader. Though to be fair, these idiots were being asked to choose between two other idiots … tricky! But never mind all that, here we found the delightful Café des Fleurs,  They only had a couple of outside tables, all taken, however it was no hardship and a bit cooler to sit inside.

Cream disasters

They advertise their scones as being ‘famous’ so obviously we had to determine whether this claim was justified or not. They had plain, fruit or blueberry and white chocolate scones. A scone at Café des Fleurs in DollarPat had fruit and, of course, I had to try the blueberry and white chocolate. Service was very friendly and efficient so it wasn’t long before we were all kitted out. Sacre bleu, mon dieu, it’s Rodda’s Cornish Cream again. I know we go on about it but why oh why do they do that when much better stuff is available locally? All in all we enjoyed Café des Fleurs. Pat thought her scone wasn’t quite top but mine, apart from the cream was excellent … topweirdscone. As for them being ‘famous’, well I guess they are a bit more now.

Queenie and Bojo

The cafe was nicely decorated with a kind of shabby-chic look. One of the pictures was a bit puzzling though. “Queenie says: coffee – the favourA picture at Café des Fleurs in Dollarite drink of the civilised” followed by “Give us a kiss”. We could argue that it’s tea that’s the favourite of the civilised however maybe that would be splitting hairs. If Queenie wants a kiss, however, she is going to have to wait a while … a long while! Bojo on the other hand would gladly give her a kiss, so desperate is he to please anyone he meets. You do wonder if the UK would ever have found itself in this ludicrous situation over Brexit and now with an equally ludicrous PM if we had had an opposition party worthy of the name. One can only wonder!External view of Café des Fleurs in Dollar

FK14 7DE              tel: 01259 743699        Cafe des Fleurs

///named.serious.shakes

ps Our intrepid Trossachs correspondents have just sent us photos of some telephone boxes up north. The first picture is of a fine array of K6s at Fort George, just east of Inverness. Bojo may be promising lots of money for Falkirk however it looks like Fort George will have more K6s than our home town. Falkirk is undergoing a programme of K6 removals, even though many were actually made there. First M&S deserted the town now our telephone boxes are going as well. What next? On the upside, if the money promised to the town ever appears, we will doubtless have Kelpies and Wheels all over the place.Three K6s at Fort George

The second K6 is from the Saracen foundry in Glasgow. It was at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore. It even had the old mechanism with the A and B buttons. More than that it had a long set on instructions on how to make a telephone call. Also an advert for a brand new way to send greetings oversees … the new ‘De Luxe’ Telegram Service…. nostalgia!

Saracen foundry K6 at the Highland Folk Museum in Newtonmore

Many thanks once again to our correspondents.

Brian’s Café

Yesterday morning we were back at the Hippodrome in Bo’ness to see The Shape Of Water. An unexpectedly enjoyable film. It’s really a love fantasy but it also turns out to be surprisingly topical. The Americans had captured a unique South American water monster with peculiarly human characteristics. Honestly, it’s better than it sounds! Rather than let the US acquire any  advantage by studying the beast and unearthing its secrets the Russians, in the form of KGB agents, plotted to kill it with a lethal injection. Have you heard of any similar stories recently?

It is amusing to see the media in a frenzy wondering where the nerve agents directed against Sergei Skripal and his daughter could have come from. Without ever mentioning the world’s biggest stockpile of such chemical weapons at Porton Down. Only eight miles from Salisbury where Skripal was found. Interior view of Brian's Café in BonessAll fingers seem to be pointing at Vladimir Putin however and probably with good reason.

Have you noticed a rather worrying trend among world leaders recently? Putin, who unexpectedly came to power because Boris Yeltsin hadn’t enough blood in his vodka system, now finds himself drunk on power itself. He has manufactured a situation where he can remain in power indefinitely. Likewise with President Xi of China. Power is a great corrupter and both men now seem to think that they are omnipotent. Meanwhile, back in the USA, President Trump  knows he is omnipotent but, unlike Putin and Xi, hasn’t yet worked out a scam to keep the job for a life. Watch this space. Theresa May on the other hand will be forced to keep her job for life whether she likes it or not simply because it’s such a mess no one else wants it. Interior view of Brian's Café in Boness

Serafini family

Enough of all that. Just across the road from the Hippodrome is the imaginatively named Brian’s Cafe which, would you believe it, is owned by a chap called Brian, surname Curry. Its outward appearance is somewhat uninspiring and we did not have high hopes as we entered. A scone at Brian's Café in BonessThe interior is pleasant enough though and the staff were very friendly and helpful.

We were soon settled down with some tea and sharing a fruit scone. Okay, we sometimes indulge in reckless extravagance! There was no cream and the butter and jam were prepackaged but the scone itself was very good, not quite a topscone but pretty close.  The café has lots of what appeared to be family photographs hanging on the walls. When we asked about them we ended up being introduced to Brian himself. He had been sitting at another table with some friends. He’s a lovely guy who proceeded to take us round and explain his family history. Turns out that he is part of the Serafini family who not only had a cafe in Bo’ness but operated the York Café in Falkirk, a place we know very well.

Serafini family group from Brian's Café in Bo'ness
Serafini family from Barga. Brian’s aunt, Annie Curry, married Nathaniel (2nd from left, back row)

 

 

 

 

Scots locked up

What amazed us was that Brian’s aunt, a Bo’nessian born and bred, had married a Serafini and as a result was interned during WWII. It had never before occurred to us that Scots were also interned simply because of their association with Italians … unbelievable!

The Serafini's original café and their fish and chip van
The Serafini’s original café in Bo’ness  … and their fish and chip van c1950s

It was great listening to the many delightful childhood stories Brian had to tell. A far cry from today’s world of all-powerful autocrats and dastardly subterfuge.

EH51 0AA       tel: 01506 823815       Brian’s Café TA

p.s. News of an even bigger controversy came to us the other day courtesy of our correspondent, the Stenibrainfart. He reported that the National Trust in England had organised a cream tea at one of their venues in Cornwall and to publicise it they used a picture of a scone with a dollop of jam on top of the cream … arrgghh! National Trust picture of a cream tea scone

Now all self respecting sconeys worth their salt know that that is how they do it in Devon … and it’s just plain wrong! It is definitely not how they do it in Cornwall. Cornish folks have reportedly been resigning their NT membership in droves. A #JamFirst badgeThey felt so strongly they even produced #JamFirst badges to support the cause. Well done Cornwall, you tell ’em!

The Woodhouse

For those of you who know the tiny community of Kinlochard, here’s a question. What would a group of fifty Russians and Greeks be doing in the village? While you are cogitating let us tell you why we are here. As if our Trossachs correspondents don’t do enough, scouring places like Gibraltar and Lithuania for scones, they very kindly invited us to a ‘Scottish night’ at the village hall. They have already had very successful Indian and Italian nights. What a night it was! Excellent Scottish themed food and drink, and even better company.

Just walking the half mile from the house to the hall was exciting. Us townies tend to forget what ‘dark’ means until you are in a place like this. It’s dark! Goodness knows how Rob Roy and his merry band got around without iPhone torches! Unlike larger towns and cities, little places like Kinlochard certainly know how to generate community spirit. And it’s a really nice experience. There were no Russians or Greeks at our night however.

View across Loch Ard with Ben Lomond in the distance
Loch Ard with Ben Lomond in the distance

The Moss

The next day was beautiful. After a wee walk round the village we had to head for home  but decided to visit Flanders Moss on the way. Having attended a fascinating Scottish Wildlife Trust talk about the Moss the previous week we thought we should check it out. Again, it is one of these places that you know of as one of Scotland’s chief defences against the English in times gone by and as a place you drive past frequently. Not as a place you actually ever visit.

View from the viewing tower at Flanders Moss
part of Flanders Moss with Ben Lomond on the left and Ben Ledi on the right

Strictly Come Sconing

It’s a designated National Nature Reserve and now it has a magnificent high viewing platform that provides a brilliant vantage point looking out towards Aberfoyle and the Lake of Menteith. Don’t think there is any connection with Flanders in Belgium. The name seems to be a corruption of an old gaelic word. On the edge of the Moss near to Kippen you come to The Woodhouse. Another of these café farm shops that seem to be popping up everywhere. Interior view of the Woodhouse Café, KippenYou would think there would be a cut-off point where there were too many and they would become  unsustainable? Not yet, they all seem to be really busy and

The Woodhouse is no exception. After our walk, lunch was definitely order of the day however there was no way we could pass up the chance of a scone test so that you, dear sconeys, can know that on your own visit to Flanders Moss it is safe to come here for sustenance. The things we do!

They are quite big so we decided to share one between the four of us … one of the biggest testing panels we have ever assembled. A sort of scone version of Strictly. Scones at the Woodhouse Café, KippenThe tea and scone was presented beautifully with an eclectic range of crockery. And with locally produced butter and cream as well as homemade strawberry jam – four 10s so far. Taste was excellent as well so, without too much deliberation it was declared a topscone. Well done The Woodhouse!

St Andrews day

Oh yes, the Russians and Greeks! They were in Kinlochard for a St Andrew’s night dinner … St Andrew, of course, being the patron saint of Russia and Greece as well as Scotland … but you all knew that! Quite why they should find themselves in Kinlochard however is still a bit of a mystery. Earlier today, St Andrew’s Day, the Prime Minister made a speech saying how proud she was of everything Scottish (the oil price is soaring) while simultaneously Angus Robertson was jeered for wishing the Commons a happy St Andrew’s day. Just have a great day everyone!Cake display at the Woodhouse Café, Kippen

FK8 3JA       tel: 01786 870156        The Woodhouse FB