Tag Archives: SNP

Karma Hotel on the Lake

15th February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This post from Karma Hotel on the Lake is a wee bit unusual. No scones were harmed. In fact, scones don’t feature at all except by their absence. “What are they on about now?” we hear you cry. Well, let us try and explain.

Lostness

It’s a lovely February day and we are out on one of our rambling drives. Pat is quite used to them now. We start off heading in one direction then get diverted, for one reason or another, onto a road we’ve never been on before. Inevitably this leads to an element of lostness … is that a word? Sat Nav isn’t much use if you don’t have any particular destination in mind. Pat used to make worried enquiries like “Are we lost?” but she doesn’t anymore. She knows that we will eventually end up somewhere. I used to pretend I knew where we was going but she quickly saw through all of that.

Suffice to say that after several miles of travelling along very narrow roads we emerged in a place that we recognised. And it wasn’t too far from here. The Lake Hotel is in a lovely setting on the shores of Scotland’s only lake. It has long been on our radar. However, although absolutely positive we knew where it was when we got to the end of the driveway the sign simply said “Karma”. Eh? We were in the right place but it turned out that the hotel had recently been acquired by the Karma Group. It has luxury resorts all over the world.

Karma

When we walked in a girl greeted us enthusiastically from behind the bar. Yes, we could have tea and coffee but no scones. In fact they couldn’t provide anything with tea and coffee … nothing! No cakes, no biscuits … nothing! Extraordinary, this was not the sort of Karma we had been expecting. Had we done something in a previous life that merited this sort of retribution? To be fair the young lady in question acknowledged our disappointment and promised that our next visit would be different. She was embarrassed and said she would talk to the management and get it sorted out. Can’t ask for more than that! The coffee was good though not a top coffee! We will return to check if she has been successful. Watch this space!

View across the Lake of Menteith — View from the hotel across the Lake of Menteith to Inchmahome island

Nationalists

From the hotel you look across the Lake to the little island of Inchmahome on which stands the ruins of Inchmahome Priory. Mary Queen of Scots once took refuge from the English there and the founder of the SNP (Scottish Nationalist Party), Robert Cunninghame Graham is buried there. Coincidentally, Nicola Sturgeon, the current leader of the SNP announced her resignation today. She’s led the Scottish Government for over eight years and has become one of the most adept and respected politicians in Europe. We understand her reasons for resigning. The blocking of the Scottish people’s ability to determine their own future is tiresome to say the least. And no one can withstand the level of vitriol and hate she has been subjected at the hands of mendacious British nationalists forever. She remains a very popular politician … we wish her well!

Also today there was another example of Westminster duplicity. The Koh-i-Noor diamond is to be removed from the crown being used for the coronation of Camilla, the Queen Somesort, in May. It would cause a rumpus because Britain stole it from India about 175 years ago and now India wants it back. Obviously, India should have it back but we would advise them not to hold their breath. Why?

While Camilla is being crowned she will be sitting next to her hubby whose Royal bahookie will be sitting on a great big lump of stolen goods. The Stone of Destiny was stolen from Scotland in 1296.

Rogues

Scotland struggled for many years to get it repatriated. Indeed we did get it back from Westminster (it now resides in Edinburgh Castle) but in typical Westminster fashion it was returned grudgingly with strings attached. They can legally demand it back. What sort of parcel of rogues does that? We do know, however, that their leader’s posterior will be resting on it in May? Some say that the one being transported back to a London is a fake and the real one remains in Scotland somewhere. Oooo, if that’s true will it mean Charles III’s coronation is null and void? Exciting!

A really enjoyable day out but we stuck to the main roads on our way home.

FK8 3RA tel: 07871 179950 Karma Group

///lamp.cries.winds

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Tebay Services

8th May 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

We’re on a road trip … yeah! A bit like Easy Rider but without the motorbikes … and everything else come to think of it. It’s the M6 and we’re on our way to Poole to see our daughter’s new house …. exciting. Everyone has a favourite motorway services … don’t they? Is it just us? Anyway, if you are going to have a favourite, Tebay Services in Westmorland does it for us!

Bladder stops

Tebay Services was established in 1972 by the local farmer when the motorway was driven straight through the middle of his farm. A case of, if you can’t beat them join them. The farmshop features much of their home grown meat and veg and the whole place specialises in locally sourced produce. It’s just a bit different from the normal soulless motorway services. They even have a duck pond.

It’s about two hours drive from home and that’s roughly how long we can go these days without a bladder stop. Too much information we know but unfortunately that is just the harsh reality.

We’ve never had a scone here before so there was a degree of nervous anticipation. It’s all self service , of course, so we had to help ourselves from a box of scones and then fill a wee tub with jam from one of the large pots available. Not exactly the Ritz but the scones looked good and we soon had ourselves sorted out with everything we required.

View from Tebay Services — View over part of the duck pond towards the Westmorland moors

Road trips

As scones go this one was above average but, what with it being self service and all that, even with it’s nice little pat of Cumberland butter, it was never going be rated as a topscone. Maybe a top motorway services scone but since we are very seldom on motorways that is not one of our categories. It’s a long time since we were last here and somehow it didn’t seem as good as we remembered but that might just be our memories playing tricks. This was a southbound scone, we may do a northbound one on the way home? Or maybe not. After an hour or so we felt suitably refreshed and ready to take on the next 350 miles. We’re sure our Australian correspondents would not bat an eyelid at such a journey but it seems like a long way to us.

Voting for anyone but the Tories

Over the past few days there’s been local council elections held over the whole of the UK. Although not all results are in, it seems that the Conservatives have taken a bit of a drubbing … surprise, surprise! They now seem to be trying to portray Boris as a great wartime leader. Are we at war … news to us! Labour and the Lib Dems are saying that the political tectonic plates have shifted without realising that folk simply could not bring themselves to vote for scandal ridden Conservatives.

Scotland continues to see the SNP still riding high after fifteen years in power. Scotland uses the STV (single transferrable vote) system otherwise known as the “vote ’till you boak” system. You order the candidates in order of preference until you cannot vote without feeling sick. But perhaps the biggest change is being seen in N. Ireland where Sinn Féin has become the largest party at Stormont. Could this herald the ‘anomaly’ that is N. Ireland being solved democratically without resorting to violence … let’s hope!

On the road again, wind in our hair, Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf on the radio … this is the life!

CA10 3SB tel: 015396 24511 Tebay Services

///atlas.flaking.take

Scones

Cheese muffins

9th April 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

In what is fast becoming a tradition we bring you another non-scone – cheese muffins. Yes, they’re not scones but they are the best we can do in the circumstances. During lockdown we’ve already brought you tattle scones, Scottish empire biscuits, Welsh cakes, German Devil’s farts and even Norwegian skillngsboller … you can’t say we’re not trying. VERY TRYING, we hear you groan! Anyway cheese muffins make regular appearances in our house. Unlike her, not so successful hot cross buns, Pat can rustle up a batch of cheese muffins in a veritable flash. They’re delicious.

All you need is 150g plain flour, 50g cheddar cheese (roughly chopped), large pinch of salt, 20ml baking powder, 1 egg and 100ml of milk. Mix it all together, divide into individual portions and stick them in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Bingo, lay them out on a wire rack.

How do you eat them? With strawberry jam if that’s what floats your boat but probably best just with a little butter. On this occasion we decided to add even more cheese … wonderful.

The cooker is everything

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Back in 1982 when we bought this house it came complete with an AGA cooker. Pat took to it like a duck to water. It hasn’t changed its design since the first one was made in1947 and you can’t say that about many things these days. They say that an AGA becomes part of your family. We can testify to that. Here you can see Pat with the Christmas turkey and, in the background, you can also see our cream coloured AGA! This is what our AGA family looks like … honest!

Changing the world

I think we’ve mentioned before that Scotland is holding the Scottish Government elections in a month’s time. It’s not going to be just any election, no, no, no. It’s going to be an election with the potential to change the world, to change maps, to change everything as we know it.

Should the independence leaning parties get an overall majority, it will make Westminster’s refusal to permit a referendum look more than a wee bit silly. At the start of the campaign in the 2014 referendum the SNP started with 27% support. This time they’re starting at over 50%. The unionist parties are terrified. They keep telling us we’re too small, too poor and too stupid so you’d think they would be glad to see the back of us. In an independent Scotland there would be free scones, free jam and free cream for everyone though no one has actually promised that … yet! We are looking forward to the day when the people of Scotland, rather than a bunch of public school numpties in Westminster, can actually decide their own future. Anyway, no matter what happens, it will be exciting … watch this space.

Scones, Uncategorized

Pat’s scones

31st January 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Before we treat you to a sample of Pat’s scones let us first take a look at the current lockdown situation. It isn’t getting less severe, the opposite if anything! And the end seems to get ever further away! As mouldy oldies we are getting our jabs in a couple of weeks but even that doesn’t appear to make that much difference. We can still become spreaders and it’s not until we get the second jab that the vaccine really becomes effective and goodness knows when that will be. Argh, the joys of COVID!

The Ununited Kingdom

Speaking of spreaders, Boris Johnston decided, a couple of days back, to grace Scotland with a whistle-stop tour. Goodness knows why? He must know that he is pretty much universally loathed north of the border. And of course the trip broke all the rules that apply to everyone else who has to live with the disastrous consequences of Westminster’s pathetic handling of the crisis. Increasingly people realise that many key government functions are only weakly anchored centrally. It’s London-centric credibility has been weakened and the UK now looks more and more like a fractured state. Then there’s Brexit!

Approval ratings

At the moment neither the Tories nor Labour have a snowball’s chance in hell of being elected in Scotland and as long as Boris maintains his current attitude he will remain the SNP’s most effective recruiting sergeant. Recently, in a poll, Nicola Sturgeon gained the highest approval rating of any UK politician … and that’s in England where she holds no sway! Remarkable!

Withdrawal

So, Pat’s scones, what about them? In the last few posts we’ve done skillingsboller and we’ve done pumpernickel, neither of which have anything much to do with scones. To be fair, we have done a scone but it was from Australia. That’s all very well but scone withdrawal symptoms eventually became fairly severe. It’s come to this, we have resorted to making our own. Not for the first time, of course, but we don’t normally resort to such drastic measures. To get the full scone experience you really need to go out and capture them in their natural habitat. We were also having to do without the assistance of the two small Vikings we have deployed on some recent occasions. They were doing schooling from home.

Pat made quite a large batch and then gave me two different presentations. One with a bowl of cream and a pot of homemade blackcurrant and gooseberry jam. Every thing was deliciousThe other came with cream and crab-apple jelly. What’s not to like? Thankfully she did not ask me to judge which was best but suffice to say they were both fab! Can’t award a topscone because then that would infer that you could come and visit and sample them for yourselves … but you can’t! Nobody can! The joys of COVID!

This was my favourite. Very small and presented just on its own I think it was supposed to convey some sort of message. Aww!

Just heard that toilet brushes have become the official symbol of the Russian protests in support of Alexei Navalny. It’s a crazy mixed up world!

Keep safe everyone!

island, Ordinary, Scones

The Douglas Hotel – Again

31st July 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

This is another Scottish island repost from 2016. That was back when the Scottish Conservatives were feeling rejuvenated. Today, however, Jackson Carlaw resigned as their leader, after only five months in post. Hopefully, he has seen the hopelessness of their cause. Just the mention of them, however, is always liable to bring on a rant. They never have anything remotely like a policy of their own and simply resort to attacking the wicked SNP. British nationalists, of which Boris is a prime example, are an odd bunch. They refuse to acknowledge Scotland as a country in its own right, however, when it comes to debt it’s a different story. They delight in pointing out that Scotland has the biggest fiscal deficit of any country in Europe but never feel inclined to explain why.

Technically, Scotland cannot have any debt because it’s not allowed to borrow money and it’s legally obliged to balance the books every year. Only the UK government can borrow money. This is how it works. When they borrow say £100million, 10% of the debt is automatically apportioned to Scotland (on the basis of our population size) however, little if any of the money ever comes north of the border. It’s all spent in England .. and for ‘England’ you can read ‘London’. So with that accounting system, is it any wonder we have a deficit! Anyway, rant over, let’s go to the wonderful Isle of Arran.

We arrived a day early for our Scottish Wildlife Trust outing on Arran and stayed the first night at one of our favourite places, the Kilmichael Country House in Glen Cloy. There were peacocks all over the place. We thought that they would give us a sneaky head start over everyone else with our bird list. They are a pernickety lot however in the SWT. We were left in no doubt that peacocks were not allowed on the list .. verboten! The rest of our stay was to be here at the Douglas in Brodick, just a stone’s throw from the ferry terminal. It’s built from locally quarried red sandstone. In 1782 it spent some time as the doctor’s house until eventually becoming a hotel in 1852.

A couple of years ago it underwent complete modernisation and now terms itself ’boutique’. If ’boutique’ means having vast beds then it definitely qualifies for that sobriquet. If there’s anyone in bed with you, you certainly had to go searching in order to find them! Not sure why they have a large portrait of ‘The MacNab’ in reception. Maybe he liked the beds as well. He never married but had 35 illegitimate children.

Anyway, there was no way we were going to be able to stay here for the best part of a week without sampling their scones. We thought we might as well get it over and done with. We decided to sit out on the patio area overlooking Brodick Bay while a young cheery chap from Kilmarnock buzzed to and fro bringing us tea, coffee, scones etc. The scones were good, full of fruit but hot, almost too hot to handle. Pat had a cheese scone but it had to be left to cool down as well. Not topscones but who cares when you get great service and all you have to do is sit and watch the ferries coming and going. If there is one in you wonder when it will leave. If there isn’t one in you wonder when one will arrive .. exciting!

Election results

The dust has now settled on the elections and, in Scotland, the media have hailed the results in rather peculiar ways. They have made much of Labour’s continuing failure to recognise that Scotland has changed. They have also trumpeted the Tory’s supposed rejuvenation?? When the Scottish Tory vote collapsed to 24% in 1987 under the much-hated Margaret Thatcher, who would have thought that a trifling 30 years later it would have rebounded to 22%. What are they on about?

One thing the media has not made much of is the SNP success. Their achievement – increasing seats and votes after almost 10 years in power is truly astounding yet gets only grudging acknowledgement. If it gets any at all. Anyway, who cares when all you have to do is sit in the sunshine eating scones, watching ferries come and go. Oh, and the red-breasted mergansers swimming in the bay. Lots of them, and they’re allowed!

KA27 8AW tel: 01770 302968 Douglas Hotel

As you know our antipodean correspondents have been excelling themselves lately. Pumpkin scones then Waltzing Matilda scones. And no sooner had we convinced ourselves that we had run out of Aussie scones than a note drops into our inbox from our Brisbane correspondent. Not a scone as such but a scone poem, no less. We knew that this particular correspondent had difficulty getting out of bed in the morning but had no idea about his poetic inclinations.

Flour butter milk
Give that all a stir
Maybe add some fruit
If that is what you prefer

Bung them in the oven
While you whip the cream
I put mine on the bottom
But some say that’s obscene

Such a simple recipe folks
But of variations, there are galore
You could wander round for years
And still not sample them all

Top scone or bottom scone
Or somewhere in-between
Could it be? Though scone blasphemy
All about the placement of the cream

Bill and Pat, you write about the scone
But you also jam in some history
With a dash of current affairs
Your scone blog, sure is the cream to me

Do any other sconeys feel a poetic urge?

Scones, Uncategorized

Four Hundred

21st June 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 16 Comments

A multicoloured Four Hundred, that’s a strange title, we hear you cry. What could that possibly refer to? Could it be something to do with the LGBT community? Could it be something to do with the COVID-19 rainbows in everyone’s windows? Well yes, the colouring does reflect the times we currently live in but the number, surprise surprise, denotes the simple fact that this is the 400th post on allaboutthescones.com since we started back in 2015.

Who would have thought it? If you had suggested back then that five years later we would still be blogging about scones we would have fallen about laughing. Scones have certainly taken us to places we would never otherwise have been and to meet people we would never otherwise have met. It has been an extraordinary adventure. Having said that we should really have something better to do with our time! It would be great to be able to say that we have come a long way since then but, of course, we haven’t. Still, the same old scone scoffing and carping endlessly about our illustrious leaders. Of course, that’s not to say that nothing has happened in these five years, far from it.

Back at the start

Hard to think of it now but back in 2015 David Cameron had unexpectedly come to power, UKIP was riding high and the SNP had 56 of the 59 Scottish MPs at Westminster. The UK was still a member of the EU for goodness sake! Jeremy Corbyn emerged as a joke candidate for leadership of the Labour party but ended up winning. Unfortunately, he managed to make Labour unelectable, leaving English voters with no choice but to vote Tory. Hence the mess we are in today with the vacuum that is Boris Johnson in charge.

Scones at Fonab Castle — Fonab Castle’s baking and respect for scones has been our benchmark throughout

What else has happened? Well apart from scone reports from all over the UK, our intrepid correspondents have lodged reports from all over the world … the parts that we find hard to reach. Our gratitude is boundless!

Obviously we have dispatched a lot of scones in that time but, happily, 108 of them have been topscones. It’s great when you come across a topscone but suffice to say we have thoroughly enjoyed finding each and every one of them.

200 scones — This is what 209 scones looks like … imagine eating twice as many?

400

In case you are interested Four Hundred days ago, we were at the Old Inn in Northern Ireland eating fabulous cherry scones and writing about making love to goats. Four Hundred weeks ago it was 2012 and the Queen’s Silver Jubilee. Fred Goodwin lost his knighthood but other bankers got massive bonuses. We were warned that representative democracy was in terminal decline in the UK. The fact that Scotland’s representative in the current government is now a Tory MP in England proves that at least they got that right. Four Hundred months ago it was 1987. Bill Gates launched Windows 2.0 and China sent its first email to an address in Germany. Four Hundred years ago it was 1620 and the good ship Mayflower departed Plymouth on its way to America. Wonder if they would still do that today now that Trump is President?

Amidst all this technological wizardry and political idiocy, scones remained a consistent and calming influence throughout. A beacon of good taste and sensibility. Long may that happy situation continue!

Lastly, a big thank you to our readers for your forbearance and many comments. The next post will be another old scone from the past … it’s not our fault!

island, Scones, Top

The Strynd Tearoom – Again

13th May 2020 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

This scone from the Strynd Tearoom on Orkney goes back a couple of years. As the current lockdown gives us time to ponder on the current state of our civilisation, Orkney might make you question how far we have progressed over the past 5000 years. After Boris’s long-awaited public announcement you could be forgiven for thinking, ‘not very far’. We should know by now that when he opens his mouth all that c omes out is lies and confusion. But give him some credit. It’s all designed, in the event of another COVID flare up, to put the blame squarely on us … you didn’t STAY ALERT! Anyway, 2 years ago or 5000 years ago…

The wind is still blowing with wicked enthusiasm. In spite of that, our plan for today is to visit the west of Mainland … Skara Brae and all that, and end up in Kirkwall, the capital. Most sconeys will know something of the rich archaeology of Orkney.

Skara Brae and Skaill House at Sandwick on Orkney — 5000-year-old Skara Brae neolithic village with Skaill House in the distance

Up here they were building houses and having a high old time of it long before things like the Pyramids and Stonehenge had even been thought of. However, our abiding memory of Skara Brae will be of getting sandblasted by the wind coming off the beach. Certainly gives you a rosy complexion.

Stormy weather at Skara Brae at Sandwick on Orkney — Orkney weather is dramatic and changes every five minutes

Another problem with the wind is holding your binoculars steady enough to identify birds.

Cobwebs

We had no problem though with a brilliant view of a female hen harrier not far from Skara Brae. It is a thrill to see these relatively rare birds because they rather stupidly nest on the ground. As a result, their young usually fall foul of predators before they can fledge. Pat’s list is now over forty which she is thrilled about. However, her joy was such that it was all I could do to stop her stealing a road sign to one of the local villages. Completely cobweb free, we eventually made it to Kirkwall and the Strynd Tearoom.

Go north for scones

Like Stromness, Kirkwall also has lots of wee lanes and this tearoom takes its name from the lane where its located. When we asked how to pronounce ‘Strynd’. It seemed to be “Strand’ but with the strangulated pronunciation that maybe a South African would use. It is a tiny place but lovely and everything is home made. Once again we were made very welcome and once again our scones were excellent. We are developing a theory that the further north you go the better the scones are. We have had nothing but topscones recently. The Strynd scone was warm and served with nice pots of jam and cream. The scone itself looked as if it would be crunchy but wasn’t. It was gloriously soft and absolutely delicious … another topscone!

The Big Tree

Now, while most of you will have heard of the Ring of Brodgar and other Orcadian archaeological gems, how many of you have heard of The Big Tree? Or how many have heard of the Heimskringla? Thought so … let us explain.

Everything is relative

Heimskringla is a book of Old Norse sagas written in Iceland in the 12th century … you’ve probably read it. The Big Tree is the only one left of three that were planted by Robert Laing, father of the Heimskringla’s translator, in his garden over 200 years ago. When they widened the main street by demolishing Laing’s walled garden this tree was left standing in the street. When you look at it you might wonder why it’s called The Big Tree? Well, in Orkney terms, it is! And it is obviously much loved. It still supports a luxurious head of leaves although largely hollow. And it is supported by steel girders inserted in its trunk to keep it upright.

DNA

What else has been happening in the big bad world while we have been enjoying ourselves on this island. Here, you quickly feel kind of snugly insulated from the outside world? The media is still largely ignoring the biggest political conference in the UK. The SNP conference. They are concentrating instead on the sexual indiscretions of a Hollywood director that few have heard of and no one could care less about.

Theresa May is still clinging on like a barnacle while Britain skillfully negotiates a “no deal‘, Brexit. Catalonia seems to have rather skillfully blindsided the Spanish government … for the moment! Trump’s big golf courses in Scotland seem to be losing a fortune … bad! Scotland’s football team is no longer eligible for another pointless World Cup competition because of our DNA according to the manager … good! Well, well, well … the Big Tree has seen it all before.

Scapa distillery, Scapa, Orknay — Scapa distillery in the distance on the shores of Scapa Flow

KW15 1HG tel: 01856 871552 The Strynd Tearoom

Forgiveness

Pat bought me a bottle of Scapa, one of my favourite whiskies, while we were at the distillery. Mind you it was only because of a guilty conscience. Previously, unbeknown to me, she had given away my one and only bottle. All was forgiven.

Change

Has anyone else noticed a subtle but profound change in the media’s reporting of the coronavirus crisis? When Nicola Sturgeon is forced to clear up the confusion by saying “When Boris Johson speaks, he speaks only for England” it marks a change. And now the media refers to “the four nations of the UK” where previously most of them wouldn’t even have countenanced Scotland as a nation at all. This is all very welcome but where will it all end?

ORKNEY SHED

Ordinary, Scones

The Park Hotel

13th December 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Oh dear, it’s Friday the 13th. And it’s the day after the night before! Everyone has awoken to a new reality.

The lemmings of England have voted on the promise of “Get Brexit Done”, as if it is all going to be done and dusted in a few months. Yet another Boris lie … it will take years. Nevertheless, as we speak, they are all rushing headlong towards the white cliffs of Dover wheeeeeeh! Without even a hint of shame, Jeremy Corbyn has said that he will not lead the party into the next election, completely overlooking the fact that he totally failed to lead them into this one. It’s not so much that the Torys won the election but that Labour threw it away.

Tug of War

In Scotland, the Labour party has joined Hebridean sheep in the ‘rare breeds’ category. Unbelievable when you think of the party’s historical strength in this part of the UK. The election, however, has amply demonstrated that the UK is indeed made up of two different countries each pulling in opposite directions. Will the SNP’s resounding success make any difference? We doubt it. Other than self interest, Boris & Co have little or no interest in Scotland. Perhaps the best news is that the duplicitous DUP have been diminished, leaving N.Ireland with a majority of nationalist MPs. The future of the UK has never seemed as uncertain as it is today.

Taking in all this reality is tough … too much reality! A delicious scone might help draw a veil over some of the election’s more unsavoury aspects. Our attention had been drawn to a cafe, not far from home, that we were totally unaware of. When we got there, however, it was closed! Some special event apparently … boo!

No normal scones

So, downhearted and heading for home, we passed this place, the Park Hotel. We thought it might be worth a try. One of our Canadian nieces used to work here many years ago so it has a special wee place in our hearts. It’s a bit weird really because it is probably the nearest eatery to our house yet we haven’t been in it for years. You can see from the title picture that it is hardly a thing of beauty … a box for people to sleep in. Nice enough inside though. It’s part of the Hannigan Hotel Group that owns four hotels, three of them in Falkirk. What had started as a dismal kind of day turned out to be the complete opposite. When we asked if we could have tea and scones they said “Yes, of course, we don’t normally do scones“. Eh?

The service was super friendly and super fast. Barely three minutes had elapsed between placing our order for two cream teas and we had them in front of us. The scones came with a selection of jams, a huge bowl of cream and a large pot of tea. What more could you want on Friday 13th?

Surprise

Now, we would have really liked to have awarded a topscone. Lots of things were right – the service, the cream, the jams, the tea were all good. On top of that, when we went to pay, the grand total was £5.50. When we queried the bill they said that because they “don’t normally do scones” they only charged us £1 for the two cream teas … incredible! Unfortunately, the scones, although very good with plenty of fruit, were just slightly doughy and not quite up to our topscone standards … shame!

We never did figure out why they “don’t normally do scones” so we don’t expect to be so lucky next time. The Hannigan Hotels’ strap line is “investing in Falkirk” so more power to their elbow.

The marble Peking lions at Dollar Park — 10ft tall marble lions. The ball rolls around freely in the mouth

Wonderment

Across the road from the Park Hotel lies the entrance to Dollar Park. It is guarded by two large marble lions from Peking gifted by local boy, Robert Dollar, in 1922. As youngsters we use to be fascinated by how those cunning Chinese had managed to carve these lions with perfect spheroid marble balls in their mouths. We are still fascinated! Another source of childhood wonderment was the kaleidoscope. Invented by Jedburgh man, David Brewster, in 1871. Kalaeidoscopes are also still fascinating. They really were very clever back in those days. Lets hope that Bojo and his mates are half as clever.

FK1 5RY tel: 01324 628331 Park Lodge Hotel

///eruptions.shunning.undivided

ps: As if leaving the EU wasn’t bad enough, we received notification from our Kiwi correspondents that they had found a plum pie that they felt was better than any of our scones. The nerve! Apples and pears! However we just happen to know that The Office café in Maungatapere also does excellent scones. If any readers happen to find themselves in Maungatapere, pop into the Office and try both. Let us know which is best … scone or the pie?

Ordinary, Scones

Palacerigg Café

4th July 2019 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Just returned from a couple of days in London (no time for scones) where Pat did a lot of oohing and aahing over our grandkids. Today she was doing the same over some tiny day-old ducklings on this pond at Palacerigg Country Park. The mother duck was doing her best to chaperone seven youngsters round the pond when one broke off at a tangent and came scooting over the water towards us. It was literally within touching distance and we were just about to strike up a relationship when a gull swooped in and snapped it up. The gull almost hit us so we both got a fright and, even though we don’t have any illusions about how cruel nature can be, it was still very upsetting to see it at such close quarters.

Sadly neglected

Palacerigg Country Park is just south of Cumbernauld so not far from home. It is not, however, a place we have visited very often, hardly at all in fact. Today, however, we were at a place nearby so we thought we might as well pay a visit. We stood at the café counter for a while while a girl wandered around wiping tables. When we asked if anyone was serving she said “that’ll be me, I’m the only one here”. That little exchange pretty well summed the place up. Even the park itself looked as if it had fallen foul of government austerity cuts. It just looked neglected.

Pat, still reeling from her brush with nature, took one look at the scones and decided to pass. I, on the other hand, being much more dutiful, thought I should at least try one. Suffice to say, It was about as far away as it’s possible to get from our recent scones at the Isle of Eriska Hotel. This one was wrapped in a cellophane bag with some jam and butter. Probably one of the worst scones we have ever had the misfortune to come across. Don’t go to Palacerigg for a scone. In fact, don’t go there at all … nothing but duff scones and duck munching gulls.

Incredulity

Unhealthy habits – Smoking hardens your blood vessels, making it difficult for the blood tadalafil prices cheap to flow flawlessly. Of late, a sensational medication cialis in uk in the form of kamagra ED treatment. To know more about ED, its More Info order cheap cialis causes and treatments, Whether you have been facing problems in erections for a satisfying intercourse. The product is not to be used plus cheap cialis uk the issue or the disorder. “Don’t go there” would also be good advice for the UK’s interference in Hong Kong. Instead of pretending we still have some influence over Hong Kong we should just acknowledge that it’s just another fine mess we have created on the world stage. We really are spoiled for choice when it comes to looking for our messes. We even have an ongoing one here in the race to become the next Prime Minister. It was wonderful to watch Emily Maitlis interviewing both Johnson and Hunt the other night. Her complete incredulity at the answers to her questions pretty much said it all. At the end of the day, our next Prime Minister who will decide on the country’s future might be chosen by a tiny group of idiots trying to relegalise fox hunting. You really couldn’t make it up! Oh, for a great big gull to carry the pair of them off.

Bill Robertson hit the nail on the head. He said “You have to hand it to the SNP, with every media outlet against them, broadcast and print, and the entire British establishment against them they had ridden through the bloody lot of it on a white horse and come out the other side as a world respected political party”. Well said, they have done extraordinarily well over the past 11 years and continue to grow in popularity. Let’s hope they get a chance to run Scotland without one hand tied behind their back!

G67 3HU tel: 01236 720047 Palacerigg Country Park

/// nasal.shady.talked

Ordinary, Scones

The Clock Tower Café

4th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 2 Comments

Here we are back in Pittenweem. The Pop-up Café we reviewed at the beginning of August during the week-long Pittenweem Arts Festival has disappeared. Doubtless to reappear next year at the same time. However, you don’t need an arts festival as an excuse to visit this little seaside village. It’s great to visit anytime and this time we are in the Clock Tower Café. When you look at the multitude of picturesque little lanes and wynds you could be forgiven for thinking that nothing much, other than some fishing and the odd arts festival, has ever happened here. Looks can be deceiving however. ‘Twas not always thus! The Clock Tower, which takes

External view at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — The Tolbooth from the Clock Tower Café

its name from the nearby Tolbooth, can give an insight into livelier, if more disturbing, times.

In 1705, Patrick Morton, son of a local blacksmith, made a series of witchcraft accusations against some of his neighbours which resulted in them all being unquestioningly incarcerated in pitch black dungeons underneath the Tolbooth, part of the Parish Church.

No luck

Some starved to death but one, Janet Cornfoot, managed to escape. She got about ten miles to the village of Leuchers where she sought help from the local minister, George Gordon. He was more interested in the reward for her recapture, however, so she was promptly returned to Pittenweem. No luck!

There, a mob tied her up, beat her severely, and dragged her by the ankles down to the harbour where she was dangled upside down from the masthead of one of the boats. People then threw rocks at her as she swung to and fro. Still no luck! Eventually she was taken down and a door placed on top of her which was then laden with heavy rocks to crush her. Finally, a horse and cart was driven over her before she was thrown in an unmarked grave having been refused a Christian burial. Oh Janet, if it wasn’t for bad luck! In the end, Morton, who made the original accusations, proved to be a thoroughly untrustworthy liar. However no action was ever taken against him or any of the mob.

Church of Scotland

When we recoil in disgust at some of the barbarous acts beamed into our living rooms from around the Middle East in the name of religion, it is perhaps salutary to bear in mind that, not that long ago, the Church in Scotland was behaving in an equally barbaric fashion. Thank goodness it is slightly more enlightened nowadays.
Anyway, even though Janet Cornfoot was undoubtedly dragged down the High Street past this place on her way to the harbour we did not let that put us off. No, no, no, the Clock Tower had scones, so in we went with barely a passing thought for poor Janet. There’s a few tables in the front part of the café but we went through to an area at the rear where there were plenty more. The staff were lovely. They quickly had us sorted with a light lunch and a scone to share.

There was lots going on with people coming and going all the time and exchanging banter. It had a nice friendly atmosphere. The scone was a slightly odd shape but good nevertheless … no topscone but good. Pittenweem is fortunate to have many good cafés.

Janet and Donald

Back then, however, Janet Cornfoot needn’t have turned to Donald Trump for sympathy or understanding. We are not huge John McCain fans, he was a bit of a warmonger, but he did spend more than five years as a POW in Vietnam and that must have been tough. So when Trump said “he’s not a war hero, he was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” presumably he wouldn’t have got on well with Janet. Probably would have been part of the mob. That figures, doesn’t it?

View at the Clock Tower Café, Pittenweem — one of the many tiny lanes

Extraordinary achievments

Recently the SNP became the second largest political party in the UK, overtaking the Conservatives. An extraordinary achievement when you consider they represent only 8% of the UK population. Also, at a time when the UK needs a strong opposition like never before, the Labour Party, by far the biggest party in the UK, manages to render itself worse than useless over a mere form of words. An extraordinary achievement. As a result the third largest party in the UK remains all powerful. While simultaneously making a complete mess of things. Also an extraordinary achievement. If our Janet had a grave she would be spinning.

KY10 2LA tel: 01333 313111 Clock Tower Café TA

Lostness

Karma

Nationalists

Rogues

Bladder stops

Road trips

Voting for anyone but the Tories

The cooker is everything

Changing the world

The Ununited Kingdom

Approval ratings

Withdrawal

Election results

Back at the start

400

Cobwebs

Go north for scones

The Big Tree

Everything is relative

DNA

Change

Tug of War

No normal scones

Surprise

Wonderment

Sadly neglected

Incredulity

No luck

Church of Scotland

Janet and Donald

Extraordinary achievments

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics