In what is fast becoming a tradition we bring you another non-scone – cheese muffins. Yes, they’re not scones but they are the best we can do in the circumstances. During lockdown we’ve already brought you tattle scones, Scottish empire biscuits, Welsh cakes, German Devil’s farts and even Norwegian skillngsboller … you can’t say we’re not trying. VERY TRYING, we hear you groan! Anyway cheese muffins make regular appearances in our house. Unlike her, not so successful hot cross buns, Pat can rustle up a batch of cheese muffins in a veritable flash. They’re delicious.
All you need is 150g plain flour, 50g cheddar cheese (roughly chopped), large pinch of salt, 20ml baking powder, 1 egg and 100ml of milk. Mix it all together, divide into individual portions and stick them in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Bingo, lay them out on a wire rack.
How do you eat them? With strawberry jam if that’s what floats your boat but probably best just with a little butter. On this occasion we decided to add even more cheese … wonderful.
The cooker is everything
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Back in 1982 when we bought this house it came complete with an AGA cooker. Pat took to it like a duck to water. It hasn’t changed its design since the first one was made in1947 and you can’t say that about many things these days. They say that an AGA becomes part of your family. We can testify to that. Here you can see Pat with the Christmas turkey and, in the background, you can also see our cream coloured AGA! This is what our AGA family looks like … honest!
Changing the world
I think we’ve mentioned before that Scotland is holding the Scottish Government elections in a month’s time. It’s not going to be just any election, no, no, no. It’s going to be an election with the potential to change the world, to change maps, to change everything as we know it.
Should the independence leaning parties get an overall majority, it will make Westminster’s refusal to permit a referendum look more than a wee bit silly. At the start of the campaign in the 2014 referendum the SNP started with 27% support. This time they’re starting at over 50%. The unionist parties are terrified. They keep telling us we’re too small, too poor and too stupid so you’d think they would be glad to see the back of us. In an independent Scotland there would be free scones, free jam and free cream for everyone though no one has actually promised that … yet! We are looking forward to the day when the people of Scotland, rather than a bunch of public school numpties in Westminster, can actually decide their own future. Anyway, no matter what happens, it will be exciting … watch this space.
The government’s Department of Weasel Words has gone into overdrive trying to justify their pathetic response to coronavirus and the BBC has taken to only reporting on NHS England. Should we be surprised? Well, back in 2018, we were at the Kerrera Tea Garden and as you will see we were still smarting from being cheated out of Scotland’s independence in 2014. The defeat was brought about by a coalition of Labour, Conservative and media lies. What really surprised us the most was that we were surprised. We knew they could stoop very low, just not that low. Anyway, let’s go back two years.
When it comes to Scottish Independence many people who voted NO in the 2014 referendum have been posting on social media “My Journey to YES”. Well, this is similar but, of course, it’s more “Our journey to a SCONE”! Let us explain. Some scones can be relatively difficult to come by but that is generally down to cost e.g. Claridges, the Connaught, rather than geographical location.
Gallanach Ferry only takes 12 people, no cars. If you are number 13 you have to wait for it to come back. We had to wait for it to come back three times
Getting there
Getting to the Kerrera Tea Garden, however, involves a road trip to Oban, a passenger ferry and then an hour’s walk over rough hill track. That’s just to get there … and the same back! There is nothing along the way other than sheep but luckily they have easy to follow signposts to guide the weary traveller. Although the day was quite cloudy it was hot so by the time we came on that last sign we were extremely relieved. Stomach and arthritic joints were screaming for sustenance and rest.
The Kerrera Tea Garden is exactly what it says. A fairly large garden in which there are lots of tables where you can sit and have tea. If the weather ever gets inclement, perish the thought, there is the Byre, a rustic but charming converted cowshed.
The Byre
Sacre Bleu
We were attended to by a very mannerly young chap who was obviously not a local. He was from Singapore and was studying law in London. Goodness knows how he found his way here for a summer job? The scones are made fresh every morning so after a light lunch we thought they should be sampled. We couldn’t come all this way and not sample the scones after all! Unfortunately, they were a tad disappointing. Just a little on the solid side and with a slightly sweet taste that wasn’t to our liking. They weren’t bad but not a topscone. Pity, because everything else about this place is fantastic. If you ever get the chance you should definitely visit, it’s worth the effort.
When we arrived there was a party of six French folks who were explaining that they just wanted coffee because they had their own sandwiches … mais non, sacre blue, mon Dieu! Perhaps it is just as well we are leaving the EU! They were politely told to take themselves off to yonder distant hill to have their picnic. When we were leaving they were making their way back for their coffee and didn’t seem at all putout. The Auld Alliance is intact!
The ruined Gylen Castle overlooking the Firth of Lorne
We finished off our visit with the short walk from the Tea Garden to Gylen Castle which sits on the southern tip of the island. It was built in 1582 by the Clan MacDougall but was besieged then burned by Covenanters in 1647. Ironically the siege was successful because of a shortage of water. The castle’s spring was insufficient in the prevailing dry spell so the MacDougalls surrendered. The same would have happened today where we have almost forgotten what rain looks like! When William Turner visited in 1831, he was fascinated by the ruin and made several sketches of the castle which are now in London’s Tate Gallery.
Looking east with twin peaks of Ben Cruachan in the middle distance
Sheep talk
On our return walk to the ferry we were almost deafened at one point by sheep talking to each other. Their exact words were “baa, baa, baa, baa, baa.” The noise was incredible! We came to the conclusion that they must have been discussing the effects of Brexit on the Common Agricultural Policy. They were making much more sense than our Westminster parliamentarians! After Trump’s visit to see May in London and Putin in Helsinki, I said to Pat “I think Trump’s a very clever man“, then, when I saw the look on her face, had to explain that I had misspoken and what I actually meant to say was that he was a complete and utter idiot.
Ex KGB, Vladamir Putin is beginning to look like the only sane politician around and that says something! Our “journey to a scone” was one of the most enjoyable in a long time. A big fat YES to the Kerrera Tea Garden.
PA34 4SX tel: 01631 566367 Kerrera Tea Garden
ps: This is the only telephone box on the Isle of Kerrera and as you can see it is a K6. No manufacturer’s badge so it could be either Falkirk, Kirkintilloch or Glasgow in origin. Now it functions, not as a telephone box, but as the only shop on the island … selling postcards.
Telephone cables
If you found that interesting here is another little snippet that will be of interest to all those who have spent restless nights wondering where the first subsea transatlantic telephone cable came ashore in the UK. Well wonder no more, it was here at Little Horsehoe Bay on Kerrera in 1956. It operated until 1978. The other end was in Clarenville, Newfoundland. You can now rest easy.
Little Horseshoe Bay with Oban in the distance. In 1263 Horseshoe Bay housed a fleet of one hundred and twenty longship galleys under the command of Norwegian King Haakon 1. More recently, it provided all the lobsters for Cunard’s transatlantic liners.
Wilting
We met loads of tourists, some walking, some on bikes, all were complaining about the heat! They said that the publicity for holidays in Scotland had not prepared them for weeks of hot dry weather. C’est la vie … haste ye back!
These days, the Kerrera Tea Garden and that ‘journey to a scone’ seem almost otherworldly.
KERRERA SHED
With everyone preoccupied with social distancing, we don’t particularly want to get into a deep philosophical debate about sheds. However, “When is a shed, not a shed?”. For example, is a wooden garage not just a shed with big doors or do the doors define it as something else? Is a shed with large windows a summerhouse and therefore no longer a shed? We don’t know the answer but you will be relieved to hear that I don’t photograph garages or summerhouses even if they are still sheds.
Okay, it’s a composting toilet .. but still a shed. Near the tearoom and Gylen Castle
I knew it was a mistake in our COVID-19 Newsflash post creating new categories willy-nilly however I did not expect my better half to join in. It raises yet another philosophical question “When is a scone not a scone?’. When it’s a cheese muffin, that’s when! These muffins were absolutely delicious but definitely not scones and shouldn’t really have a place on this blog however in the interests of domestic harmony here is the picture. To be fair, we managed to swap four cheese muffins for three of our neighbour’s tomato plants making one cheese muffin worth 0.75 tomato plants. Fantastic, a sign of the times perhaps?
All this isolation stuff has driven the world mad. We have even heard rumours of Texas folks baking scones … unbelievable! It’s just a rumour.
by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics
All you need is 150g plain flour, 50g cheddar cheese (roughly chopped), large pinch of salt, 20ml baking powder, 1 egg and 100ml of milk. Mix it all together, divide into individual portions and stick them in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Bingo, lay them out on a wire rack.
Back in 1982 when we bought this house it came complete with an AGA cooker. Pat took to it like a duck to water. It hasn’t changed its design since the first one was made in1947 and you can’t say that about many things these days. They say that an AGA becomes part of your family. We can testify to that. Here you can see Pat with the Christmas turkey and, in the background, you can also see our cream coloured AGA! 
This is what our AGA family looks like … honest!
