Tag Archives: Jacob Rees Mogg

Rufflets

6th June 2021 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

Oh dear, what do you do when you have a birthday girl on your hands and you are in lockdown? You can’t go out to buy presents, in fact you can’t go anywhere! But, wait a sec! We can now travel to anywhere in Scotland … it’s official. Okay, they would rather you didn’t but I go back to my original quandary. Suffice to say we are here in St Andrews at Rufflets having done what seemed like a massive road trip to get here. We actually drove for more than an hour … first time in living memory! Okay that’s not that long given our combined memories general state of decrepitude. It did seem like a road trip though … quite thrilling! Anyway, we were having a few days roughing it here at Rufflets. Don’t worry it’s not actually that rough.

Jute

Rufflets was built in 1924 by a local jute baron. In fact, nearby Dundee was once the jute capital of the world. Nowadays most people have never heard of the stuff but back in the good old Empire days we pilfered loads of the stuff from impoverished Bangladeshis. Never mind, with a new Royal Yacht on order, Britain will surely rule the waves once again and go around the globe poking its nose in where it’s not wanted. Or maybe it’s just for Boris and his extensive family to go on holiday with the Rees Moggs? As long as the scones are as good as they were on Britannia we don’t mind,

Rejuvenation

When Rufflets was a private home it must have been magnificent in its ten acres of gardens but since 1952 it has been a hotel and run by the same family ever since.

Pat in the garden at Rufflets Hotel — She didn’t fall in

After all this time in lockdown you can’t beat a few days of pampering and wandering round these beautiful grounds to feel rejuvenated … like COVID had never actually happened. Having to wear a mask when moving around inside the hotel was the only reminder.

We spent a day going round St Andrews. It’s a lovely place but my goodness we hadn’t seen so many people in a long long time. It was busy, busy, busy! Scotland is now in Level One which means that things are almost back to normal but rules about masks and social distancing still apply. Overall, however, the atmosphere is much more relaxed than it’s been for a long time.

Rather than have a scone in town we headed back to Rufflets to see what their scones were like. And, of course, you would also like to know as well, wouldn’t you!

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At last, Scottish jam

When the weather is like it is, where better to do some intensive sconology but on the Rufflets terrace. Unsurprisingly perhaps the service was impeccable. We didn’t think it appropriate to ask for cream and sure enough the scones arrived with everything a discerning sconologist would expect. Starched and ironed linen napkins, a bowl of clotted cream and Galloway Lodge jam from Gatehouse-of-Fleet. What’s not to like?The scones themselves were crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle, just the way we like them. Again, unsurprisingly we gave them a topscone.

Sitting here eating beautiful scones in the beautiful sunshine on a beautiful terrace in a beautiful garden with a beautiful girl, one felt slightly detached from the real world. It’s okay now though … we’re back!

KY16 9TX tel: 01334 472594 Rufflets Hotel

///earth.agreement.trappings

PS: You all know our Australian Bathurst correspondents by now. Together with the New South Welshman they have kept us abreast of sconological events down under for the past couple of years. When it has been difficult to go on scone adventures in the UK they have provided us with invaluable additional posts. However, you probably don’t know that part of their family lives here in Scotland.

The past couple of years have been particularly difficult for them since they have been unable to visit their grandchildren due to COVID. Their daughter lives only a mile or so away from Rufflets with her husband and two daughters. We hadn’t met them before but decided to just barge in and introduce ourselves. What an absolute pleasure that turned out to be! They are the warmest kindest people … obviously something to do with the stock they come from! I even had my first post-lockdown pint of Guinness in the Tavern at Strathkinness (pronounced Strathkinis I was reliably informed by a chap at the bar).

Wishful thinking

Anyway our stay at Rufflets has come to an end. We have emerged back into the real world to find that the G7 have found a way to get large multinationals to pay their fair share of tax. After years of saying its couldn’t be done it only took a couple of hours over dinner to get it sorted. Brilliant, maybe if the G7 had a scone on the terrace here at Rufflets they could sort out a whole lot more pressing global problems?

Scones, Top

Applejacks

12th September 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

Last time we were in the Perthshire town of Callander we were indulging ourselves at the Roman Camp Hotel. It is situated, would you believe it, on the site of a 1st century roman camp on the banks of the river Teith. It’s great, but definitely at the luxury end of the market. This time we were just here visiting an elderly relative. The town is oft’ referred to as ‘The Gateway To The Highlands‘ and certainly, when we were traveling north to Glen Coe every weekend in our youth, we never felt ‘away’ until we hit Callander.

In summer it is extremely busy so it is well endowed with cafés and restaurants to cater for throngs of tourists. We were attracted to Applejacks by the placard outside advertising our favourite coffee, the Cat’s Pyjamas from Henry’s Coffee Company. The café is a long narrow affair and we ended up going to the furthest point from the door where it seemed, for a moment, like we had gone too far. Nobody was speaking English. Indeed everyone was speaking very loudly in some indiscernible language. Not to worry our waitress was local and soon had us fixed up with a couple of scones. Pat chose plain and I went for apple and cinnamon. The café has a kind of trendy upbeat vibe and as well as great coffee they do a good range of savoury wraps and sandwiches.

Misdemeanours

Our scones were accompanied by pots of jam and clotted cream … all English, arrgghh! We have nothing against that, per se. However, tourists from England do not come all this way north to be served the same stuff they get at home. Since they say on their menu that they pride themselves on accessing local ingredients we pointed out this misdemeanour to the management. They took note! It had been a long time since an apple and cinnamon scone had graced my plate. This one served to reminded me of just how delicious they can be. Not made on the premises but, we were assured, made locally. Pat’s scone was good as well and provided a sweet counterpoint to the strong cup of Cat’s Pyjamas coffee. A winning combination … a topscone. Well done Applejacks!

Too and fro

In the 17th and 18th centuries Callander, like much of Scotland, was a hotbed of unrest. Almost all Scots vehemently opposed the Union in 1707 . To make matters even worse, deep rooted Jacobite sympathies abounded and Callander was no exception. The town’s location, however, made it an obvious choice for a military road. It would provide better access for the government’s armed forces in its aim to subdue the unruly Highlands.

Completed in 1743, ironically, the first army to use the new road was that of invaders. Bonnie Prince Charlie, moving south through Callander from Glenfinnan to Derby in the 1745 uprising. It must have been quite a sight as they passed by Ancaster Square where Applejacks is situated. A few months later of course, after the Battle of Falkirk in 1746, the flow was the other way as they headed back north where the disaster that was Culloden would eventually unfold.

Criticising the government

Over the following decade, with over 400 garrisons north of the border, Scotland would be comprehensively crushed. It became the colony it remains to this day. Also ironically, a few years later the town’s namesake, James Thomson Callendar published a book with the rather snappy title of “The Political Progress of Britain or an Impartial History of Abuses in the Government of the British Empire in Europe, Asia and America since the Revolution in 1688 to the present time, the whole tending to prove the ruinous consequences of the popular system of Taxation, War and Conquest.” For his criticisms of the then system of government, Callendar, accused of sedition, had been obliged to remove himself from Scotland and flee to America.

Foundations

Sounds like his book could well be pertinent even today. As our more fervent Brexiteers, the Goves and Rees Moggs, fantasise with their rose tinted glasses over the glory days of Empire it is perhaps worth remembering that the barbaric practices perfected in the ten years after Culloden formed the foundations of the Empire.

Customer distribution map of the world at Applejacks, Callander — a wall map showing the Applejacks empire of diverse customers

However this picturesque little town hides its more turbulent past rather well. And Applejacks is a great addition to its High Street.

FK17 8ED tel: 01877 330370 Applejacks FB

ps For some reason Pat laughed out loud at this notice in Applejacks.and some kind soul has knitted covers to keep the street bollards warm … magic, the world has not gone completely mad after all

Ordinary, Scones

Crail Harbour Gallery

24th August 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

Back around the middle of the 16th century the union between Scotland and France was very strong. It was founded on the understanding that Scottish royalty would marry French royalty and vice versa. To this end James V married Madeleine of Valois in Paris in 1537. Later that year, as Queen Madeleine, she arrived in Leith amidst great celebration. Six months later, however, she died. Never mind, within a year James married another French princess, Mary of Guise. She was shipped over to Scotland together with some 2,000 lords and barons. Bet you thought mail-order brides were a relatively recent phenomenon!

Miscalculations

She was supposed to land at St Andrews but due to a miscalculation by the captain, she landed at Crail instead. Her first night in Scotland was at Balcomie Castle. All was well however because, when she eventually did cover the last ten miles to St Andrews, there followed several days of bounteous merriment. She, of, course would eventually become mother to Mary Queen of Scots. The rest, as they say, is history.

This slightly verbose introduction is simply to say that today we are in Crail, a beautiful little fishing village on the East Neuk of Fife. Apparently, at one time, it could easily be mistaken for St Andrews if looking at it through squinty eyes from the sea. Just up the hill from the harbour we came across the Crail Harbour Gallery and Tearoom. It owes its existence to the artist D S MacKie. He converted the 17th century storage space into a gallery for his own work.

That time of year

The interior is small but it has an even smaller garden area where you can sit and take in fabulous sea views. On a lovely sunny day like this it was glorious to sit out. However we were eventually driven inside by wasps … it’s that time of year again, shame.

The girls looking after us were very warm and welcoming. They took our random table changes in their stride though they were probably cursing us under their breath. A light lunch was, of course, followed by a scone which we shared. It came nicely presented with everything you would want for a good scone, plus, a little piece of Scottish tablet on the side. We will eat healthy tomorrow … honest! The scone was very enjoyable and because of the great service and presentation we swithered hard about a topscone. Eventually we decided that the scone itself just didn’t quite do it … pity!

One of the many noteable things about Crail is the weathervane on the Tolbooth building. Rather than the cockerel of weather vane tradition, it is a smoked haddock … fab!

View of Crail Harbour — *The Gallery and Tearoom is to the right of this picture*

Balcomie Castle where Queen Mary spent her first night is also haunted by a small boy who misbehaved about 400 years ago. They threw him in the keep for a few hours to teach him a lesson but went away forgetting about him. He starved to death!

Bigger keep please

We can think of a few politicians who could do with a few hours in the keep. However, just when you are trying to pick one: May, Johnstone, Corbyn, Rees Mogg, Trump, Australia has to go and get in on the act. Their own chaotic elections have produced a brand new shiny PM, Scott Morrison! We really are spoiled for choice. We need a bigger keep!

KY10 3SU tel: 01333 451896 Crail Gallery and Tearoom

english, Scones, Top

Connaught Hotel

8th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

We managed to squeeze our Porsche 911 GT2 RS in between another sports car and a huge black Rolls Royce outside the front door of the hotel. Seriously, the car pictured above was indeed parked like that. However, with a price tag of £211,000 for the basic model it represents more than we have spent on cars in our entire lifetime. It does 0-60mph in 2.8 secs whereas our first car, a Citroen Dyane named Hal after the computer in the film 2001, A Space Odyssey, could only reach that speed in a following wind. Truthfully, we arrived by black cab.

A couple of sheep

It took us through Mayfair to the Connaught and the streets were lined with Ferraris and Lamborghinis so this car was not out of place in the slightest. Definitely the place to see swank, if silly, cars. Our favourite car of all time however remains Hal. Not sure you would get a couple of sheep and bale of straw in the back of that Porsche. At least not without knocking £100,000 off the value! Anyway, this is not a car blog!

As you are very well aware we leave no stone unturned in our sconological quests and once again, as we did at Knockinaam Lodge Hotel, we are going that extra mile … entirely on your behalf! The Connaught (like Claridge’s and the Ritz does not require to have “hotel” after its name … you’re just supposed to know) does luxury rather well.

One of the bars at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London — The Coburg Bar

Because we were a sinful few minutes early we were promptly escorted to the Coburg bar and obliged to drink pink champagne and eat green olives with homemade potato crisps while they prepared our table … nice! We had hardly begun when they announced that the table was ready but that we could take as long as we liked over our champagne. Nice again!

Dream Tea

When we did eventually sit down to our afternoon tea it was in the very comfortable Jean-Georges restaurant. It had a huge wrap round window so that we could sit and watch the mega-rich going past outside wondering which, if any of them, was not involved in money laundering. First thing we had to do was decide on tea … there was no coffee option! Pat opted for a green tea called Gyokuro, made by gently steaming the leaves in pure volcanic water and promising to taste of roasted Fuji apples and tender meringue.

I, having only a vague grasp on reality, opted for Dream Tea, an infusion of the finest chamomile, verbena, lemongrass and mint … wake me up somebody! We’ve seen the correct way to taste posh tea …. you suck it noisily through your teeth, swill it vigorously around your mouth before jettisoning it into a spittoon. But this did not seem like either the time or the place. Interestingly both teas looked and tasted amazingly like hot water … but refreshing nevertheless to our PG Tips palates.

Curd, or not?

We could go on endlessly about the biscuit dogs for dipping in chocolate. Or the Truffle egg mayonnaise sandwiches. Or the Rhubarb Compote with Fromage Blanc but you just want to know about the scones. Don’t you! Needless to say they were delicious. There was a fruit and a plain for each of us, beautifully glazed on top and nicely presented in a silver basket. They were accompanied by homemade strawberry jam, Cornish clotted cream and lemon curd … fab. The lemon curd, however, presented us with something of a quandry … cream with curd, or not?

We should know the answer but, since this is the first time we have been presented with the problem, we don’t. We went ‘with’ and it was nice enough but aesthetically a bit insipid looking. Thoughts on this dilemma would be most welcome. The fruit ones had delightfully succulent golden fruit rather than the usual black sultanas. All in all it was a pretty obvious topscone.

However, we don’t want readers running away with the idea that it was all plain sailing. We had had to switch champagnes for the afternoon tea. At one point,Pat even had to pour her own tea!! In the toilets there was someone to greet you. They turned on the taps for you and handed you a beautiful fluffy white hand towel. Too much! The thought of these poor sods standing in a toilet all day, albeit a marbled temple of a toilet, waiting to turn your taps on … arrgghh!

Pouring one’s own tea

They might even wipe bums for the Rees Moggs of this world but we’re not sure. At any rate the very nice gentleman who turned on my taps has probably been deported by now under Theresa May‘s fantastically disgraceful immigration regime. The Connaught must have hundreds of staff. We met quite a few of them and not one of them was British. Does this mean that we will all have to pour our own tea and wipe our own bums after Brexit? Sacré bleu! To top it all off the staff presented us with a beautiful little box with some extra scones and jams as we left … wonderful. Or maybe it was the Dream Tea kicking in?

W1K 2AL tel: 020 7499 7070 The Connaught

Scones, history and a dollop of politics