Tag Archives: Citroen Dyane

Brig o’ Turk Tearoom

7th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

In the past, whenever we have been here in this part of the Trossachs, the Brig o’ Turk Tearoom has been closed. Today we seem to be retracing events of 1973 when we got married in a Glasgow registry office before driving in HAL, our trusty Citroen Dyane, to the village of Strathyre for our reception.

As we drove over the Duke’s Pass with its multiplicity of hairpin bends we marvelled at the fact that we ever made it to Strathyre. With four of us in the car it must have taken all of HAL’s 602cc to power us up these inclines (he was named after the computer that had a mind of its own in 2001, Space Odyssey). In terms of performance HAL, with a following wind, could do 0-60mph slightly faster than it takes to soft boil an egg. We loved HAL dearly and were very sad when we eventually had to go our separate ways.

Today we are in another French car but much more powerful … no need to take account of the wind direction. We descended the other side of the Pass and were treated to fabulous views of Ben A’an and the surrounding hills. We felt we were very lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the world. And as if to confirm that thought, when we reached the tiny hamlet of Brig o’ Turk, the tearoom was open … lucky, lucky, lucky!

Salacious

Externally it looks like a big green shed but it’s a big green shed that’s been here for 100 years. It first opened its doors in 1923 and it’s been fairly eventful. The tearoom was used as a set in the remake of the film “the 39 Steps”. Brig o’ Turk was also the setting for a famous love triangle. It was between the much celebrated writer, artist and philosopher, John Ruskin, his wife Effie Gray and John Everett Millais. The affair has been made into a Netflix film “Effie Gray“. If you want more detail you should watch it. The story is much too salacious to be recounted on an erudite, genteel scone blog such as this.

Veggie

Internally it looks quite pleasant but still rather shed like. We were going to be eating again later so for now we just wanted tea and a scone. It’s one of these places which is enthusiastically vegatarian. They are determined that you will leave healthier than when you came in. They pride themselves on their local produce … even the menu is limited until their vegetable garden starts to produce. Why then is their Meadow Churn butter not local and from the Iceland supermarket? Of course, there was no cream so just the scone with the butter and some jam. It was all rather nice though and we were happy that we had managed to visit the tearoom at long last.

Just a few hundred yards from the tearoom lies the bicycle tree. A young man going off to fight in WWI left his bike lying against the tree. It either says something for the honesty of the neighbourhood or the state of his bike that it wasn’t stolen. He never returned to collect it and the tree slowly grew up round about it. Parts of the bike can still be seen about eight feet up protruding from the trunk. In 2015 it was given protected status. It’s not a threat to anyone competing in the Tour de France although the young man probably died there.

Don’t mess

The Westminster politicians currently messing with the devolution settlement for Scotland should be thankful that they won’t have to deal with Ellen Stewart. She’s a bit of a hero with folks in Brig o’ Turk. In 1650 when Cromwell’s army was blazing a bloody trail across Scotland leaving thousands dead they eventually came to the Trossachs. For safety the locals decided to place their women and children on an island on Loch Katrine. However, when an English soldier decided to swim out and capture their boat he hadn’t reckoned with the women folk in these parts. As he clambered up the rocks on the beach Ellen promptly chopped his head off with a sword. Don’t mess with the Scots … especially the women!

FK17 8HT Tel: 01877 376283 Brig o’ Turk Tearoom

///crispy.shallower.lashed

ps: the other day, friends invited us round to their house for an afternoon catchup and some nibbles. The nibbles, of course, turned out to be scones.

Half were plain and the other half were fruit. Gently warmed by the sun, lots of jam and cream and the company of good friends … lucky, lucky, lucky again!

pps: recently I was lamenting to a Texan singer/songwriter friend that the older I got the less I seem to understand. She replied that knowing how little you know is in itself, wisdom. Okay, it was never in doubt but I would just like readers to know that although I don’t know anything, I am wise!

Ordinary, Scones

The Greengrocer Café

14th November 2018 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Back in the day when Scotland was a proud, honest and self-respecting country rather than the rather sad colony it has become, the town of Stirling epitomised the struggle between Scotland and its southern neighbour. Its very name means ‘place of strife’. From 1296 onwards the town was frequently occupied by English forces only for them to be driven out by the Scots some time later. It has gone back and forth like a fiddler’s elbow ever since. It could be argued, it is currently under English occupation. Scotland, even with its own government in Edinburgh, has scant say over its own affairs.

Never mind all that though, we are here to do some important stuff … shopping. The short rainy trip to Stirling had become necessary because of the mere fact that there are relatively few large stores left in Falkirk. It has been badly hit by the online revolution. The same shops, however, still seem to thrive here in wealthier Stirling. There’s always been a ‘friendly’ rivalry between Falkirk and Stirling, a bit like that between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Traditionally, Falkirk with its much bigger population and heavy industries made the money: a bit like Glasgow, while Stirling, retained much more strategic and political clout:a bit like Edinburgh.

Rumbling tums

Anyway, after a wonderful few hours of retail therapy in the Thistles Shopping Centre we began to feel a little peckish. This shopping centre is the only one in the world to feature its own 16th century jail, the Thieves Pot. All very well if you fancy a spot of incarceration but does zilch for a rumbling tum. In fact the entire Thistles Centre seemed to do little in the way of restaurants or cafés. Just wall to wall retail outlets. A short walk along Port Street, however, led us here to the Greengrocer Café. A delightful mix of café, delicatessen and greengrocery. It’s tucked away down a little lane. A nice feature is the large communal table in the main shop. However we decided on a smaller one in the main café area at the back.

The staff welcomed us warmly and we immediately took a liking to the place. Nice atmosphere, a wide range of food on offer and homemade cakes to die for. Pat was lusting after a ginormous strawberry pavlova in such a way that I had to remind her, in no uncertain terms, of her sconological duties. We ordered a light lunch followed by a shareable fruit scone. Everything was excellent and our scone was no exception. The only downside was the cream.

Alstroemeria table decoration at the Greengrocer café — Alstroemeria table decoration

They had said it was whipping cream however it seemed more like the scooshie stuff to us. It was okay but, unfortunately went a bit watery, shame! But for that relatively minor issue this could easily have been a topscone.

HAL

When we finished our scone it was back out into the wet for our journey home only to be told, on the car radio, of the demise of Douglas Rain . Brexit and Californian forest fires were suddenly of little importance. Now, some of you may not be aware of the significance of Rain’s passing but his was the voice of HAL, the computer in Stanley Kubrick‘s, 2001: A Space Odyssey. HAL had a mind of its own and back in 1972, we gave our first ever car, a Citroen Dyane, which also had a mind of its own, the same name. Tears were shed when HAL eventually went to the great garage in the sky. Now his voice has gone too. As Trump would say … sad!FK8 2ER tel: 01786 479159 The Greengrocer Café FB

english, Scones, Top

Connaught Hotel

8th May 2018 billpaterson1@me.com

We managed to squeeze our Porsche 911 GT2 RS in between another sports car and a huge black Rolls Royce outside the front door of the hotel. Seriously, the car pictured above was indeed parked like that. However, with a price tag of £211,000 for the basic model it represents more than we have spent on cars in our entire lifetime. It does 0-60mph in 2.8 secs whereas our first car, a Citroen Dyane named Hal after the computer in the film 2001, A Space Odyssey, could only reach that speed in a following wind. Truthfully, we arrived by black cab.

A couple of sheep

It took us through Mayfair to the Connaught and the streets were lined with Ferraris and Lamborghinis so this car was not out of place in the slightest. Definitely the place to see swank, if silly, cars. Our favourite car of all time however remains Hal. Not sure you would get a couple of sheep and bale of straw in the back of that Porsche. At least not without knocking £100,000 off the value! Anyway, this is not a car blog!

As you are very well aware we leave no stone unturned in our sconological quests and once again, as we did at Knockinaam Lodge Hotel, we are going that extra mile … entirely on your behalf! The Connaught (like Claridge’s and the Ritz does not require to have “hotel” after its name … you’re just supposed to know) does luxury rather well.

One of the bars at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair, London — The Coburg Bar

Because we were a sinful few minutes early we were promptly escorted to the Coburg bar and obliged to drink pink champagne and eat green olives with homemade potato crisps while they prepared our table … nice! We had hardly begun when they announced that the table was ready but that we could take as long as we liked over our champagne. Nice again!

Dream Tea

When we did eventually sit down to our afternoon tea it was in the very comfortable Jean-Georges restaurant. It had a huge wrap round window so that we could sit and watch the mega-rich going past outside wondering which, if any of them, was not involved in money laundering. First thing we had to do was decide on tea … there was no coffee option! Pat opted for a green tea called Gyokuro, made by gently steaming the leaves in pure volcanic water and promising to taste of roasted Fuji apples and tender meringue.

I, having only a vague grasp on reality, opted for Dream Tea, an infusion of the finest chamomile, verbena, lemongrass and mint … wake me up somebody! We’ve seen the correct way to taste posh tea …. you suck it noisily through your teeth, swill it vigorously around your mouth before jettisoning it into a spittoon. But this did not seem like either the time or the place. Interestingly both teas looked and tasted amazingly like hot water … but refreshing nevertheless to our PG Tips palates.

Curd, or not?

We could go on endlessly about the biscuit dogs for dipping in chocolate. Or the Truffle egg mayonnaise sandwiches. Or the Rhubarb Compote with Fromage Blanc but you just want to know about the scones. Don’t you! Needless to say they were delicious. There was a fruit and a plain for each of us, beautifully glazed on top and nicely presented in a silver basket. They were accompanied by homemade strawberry jam, Cornish clotted cream and lemon curd … fab. The lemon curd, however, presented us with something of a quandry … cream with curd, or not?

We should know the answer but, since this is the first time we have been presented with the problem, we don’t. We went ‘with’ and it was nice enough but aesthetically a bit insipid looking. Thoughts on this dilemma would be most welcome. The fruit ones had delightfully succulent golden fruit rather than the usual black sultanas. All in all it was a pretty obvious topscone.

However, we don’t want readers running away with the idea that it was all plain sailing. We had had to switch champagnes for the afternoon tea. At one point,Pat even had to pour her own tea!! In the toilets there was someone to greet you. They turned on the taps for you and handed you a beautiful fluffy white hand towel. Too much! The thought of these poor sods standing in a toilet all day, albeit a marbled temple of a toilet, waiting to turn your taps on … arrgghh!

Pouring one’s own tea

They might even wipe bums for the Rees Moggs of this world but we’re not sure. At any rate the very nice gentleman who turned on my taps has probably been deported by now under Theresa May‘s fantastically disgraceful immigration regime. The Connaught must have hundreds of staff. We met quite a few of them and not one of them was British. Does this mean that we will all have to pour our own tea and wipe our own bums after Brexit? Sacré bleu! To top it all off the staff presented us with a beautiful little box with some extra scones and jams as we left … wonderful. Or maybe it was the Dream Tea kicking in?

W1K 2AL tel: 020 7499 7070 The Connaught

Scones, history and a dollop of politics