Category Archives: self-service

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Pittenweem Pop up Café

Pittenweem Arts Festival logoThis is the week of Pittenweem Arts Festival when almost all the houses in the town open up to the public and become temporary art galleries. Not all though. This Pop Up Café is also just someone’s home converted for the duration of the festival. It raises money for charity … great idea! It’s quite extraordinary! Just when you thought the whole world was in Edinburgh for the Festival you discover that it’s not quite the whole world. The rest are here in the East Neuk of Fife. It’s busy, busy!The harbour fishing boats at Pittenweem, Fife

Venue 26

The picturesque little fishing village is transformed into one huge gallery. Over 130 artists from far and wide exhibiting. And just like the world’s biggest festival going on across the water in Edinburgh, the atmosphere is great! For those not familiar with Pittenweem, there is a downside. The village is situated on a steep hill with a web of higglety pigglety tiny lanes running down to the harbour area. And back up! You have to work quite hard if you want to see everything. It doesn’t get any easier when the weather is as sultry and windless as it is today, heyho! Little wonder then that the sight of this place, Venue 26, was very welcome indeed.

The good folks running it were working extremely hard. Customers had the choice of sitting in their front room or going outside onto what’s known as West Shore. A narrow lane running along the sea front. Exterior view of the Pop Up Café in Pittenweem, FifeOnly a few tables and chairs, all of them taken, so we just sat on the sea wall. It was actually quite comfortable and allowed us to enjoy the sunshine and look out over the Firth of Forth towards the Isle of May and the Bass Rock.

A scone at the Pop Up Café in Pittenweem, Fife
Tide’s out

Perhaps it was because we were more than a little peckish that these scones, together with the coffee, tasted absolutely delicious. Definitely would have been awarded topscone status had it not been for the simple fact that none of our readers can go there. Except, of course, for these few days at the beginning of August each year. And there was no cream!! They do this pop up café every year though, so make a date in your diary for 2019.

Offence

Meanwhile back in La La Land, Boris Johnstone’s article in the Telegraph defending the right to wear burkas but adding some observations about letterboxes has taken up most of the news in what can only be described as a media frenzy. Given that wearing the burka is dictated by cultural rather than religious reasons it’s hard not to feel some sympathy for gaff prone Boris.  We are more concerned, however, about whether we should be just as offended as the burka wearers since most of the letterboxes in question were probably made in Falkirk. They form part of our culture!

ps: talking of art and culture and things made in Falkirk, we came across this picture. Not in Pittenweem but on our way home in another gallery. For all our K6 enthusiasts it is entitled “Phone Box Cottage” and is by Matylda Konecka. It could be yours for £99!entitled "Phone Box Cottage" by Matylda Konecka

Scones, self-service, weird

Blossoms Bistro – revisited

It was just over three years ago that we first reviewed the scones at this garden centre tearoom. It being just before the 2015 general election, we spent some time trying to explain our electoral system in scones. The House of Lords consisted of over 900 old and stale scones and, because even the pigeons would not take them, it was impossible to get rid of them … but never mind all that!

This time we are trying to demonstrate to some of our readers who have raised an eyebrow at some of our recent sojourns into sconology. Places like the Connaught and Knockinaam Lodge. Because they are kind of posh and consistently get topscone awards there is a suspicion that we are leaning towards the more expensive scone. Not true, we take our responsibilities earnestly when it comes to something as profoundly serious as scones. A voucher for Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden CentreOn this visit we have a voucher for Blossoms which promised two cream teas for £5. What’s not to like? We did need some plants for the garden as well, it’s that time of year. Internal view of Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden Centre

Alarm bells

When we arrived they were out of fruit scones, only plain and hot cross scones left … hot cross scones? We thought the world had gone mad when Trump was elected but hot cross scones?? It had to be done! We were asked  “synthetic or fresh cream?” Is that actually a question? They brought our tea to the table and said they were preparing our scones. Oh,oh, alarm bells! A hot cross scone at Blossoms tearoom and bistro at Torwood Garden Centre

When they arrived it was easy to see what they meant … they came preloaded, You could say that they were generously loaded so why are we complaining. Well we are complaining because you know by now that when it comes to scones we are DIYers. They tasted spicey like hot cross buns but were definitely on the solid side. The cross on the top was so hard it was inedible. If it was Easter we could maybe understand, but it’s not. So why?

Too good to be true?

A little snippet for your delectation – hot cross buns were simply known as cross buns until a nursery rhyme was written in the 18th century … hot cross buns, hot cross buns! Anyway, you know that saying  “if it seems too good to be true then it probably is” well that pretty well sums up two cream teas for £5. It also sums up politicians who say that Brexit negotiations are going splendidly.

FK5 4EG        tel: 01324 553152           Blossoms Bistro

english, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Hauxley Wildlife Centre

While Megan tries to convince Harry that she hadn’t really wanted a big wedding, we are still a safe distance away in the north east of England.  The Hauxley Wildlife Discovery Centre near Druridge Bay  is internationally renowned for its birds. It’s amazing because it was once a very industrial open-cast mining site. In 1983, however, it was taken over by Northumberland Wildlife Trust and transformed into this fabulous haven for wildlife. They’ve done a magnificent job with an extensive shallow pond surrounded by great paths and multiple hides. Definitely one of the best reserves we have come across.

A speckled brown wood butterfly at Hauxley Nature Reserve
Speckled wood butterfly

We spent a couple of hours visiting the hides, spying on the host of birds and butterflies that have made this their home. Pat was happy to add a few new species, like blackcap and whitethroat to her list. Once we had done a fairly lengthy circuit of all the hides it was scone o’clock and time to return to the reception centre.

Last minute scones

Even this large straw-bale built reception centre was put together by a small army of Northumberland Wildlife Trust volunteers. The café not only had scones but huge viewing windows where you could eat your scone while continuing to watch birds. What more could you ask for?Internal view of Hauxley Wildlife CentreThe self-service service was very warm and friendly as you would expect in this part of the world. There wasn’t any cream and not much jam but the scones themselves were very good and very welcome. Our group actually bought all the scones they had. If we had been a few minutes later there would have been none and that would have been a disaster. A scone at Hauxley Wildlife CentreNo topscone here unfortunately but a very good effort in a quite magical place … keep up the good work!

Talking of disasters … let’s return to the wedding. Seriously, you have probably gathered by now that we are not great fans of Royalty but we do like Suits, so we really do wish the new Countess of Dumbarton (yes, that’s one of Megan’s many titles now) and her hubby every good fortune with their marriage.

Who cares when there is a Royal wedding?

It was great to see that all the homeless people had been either removed from Windsor or covered up with Union flags. All the towns potholes had also been repaired. Can all UK towns have a Royal wedding, please? Elsewhere there were plane crashes in Cuba, another mass school shooting in the Texas, the start of Ramadan and the opening of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland where they will be discussing whether the C of S has 10 or 20 years left to live. But who cares when there is a Royal wedding? Not to worry the bird-list continues to grow.

NE65 0JR      tel:01665 568 324       Hauxley Wildlife

english, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Costa Coffee

The main street in East Sheen is festooned with lovely new coffee shops so you would think that it would be relatively easy to find a scone. Not necessarily so. We tried several such establishments which all had loads of cakes and pastries but no scones. One place didn’t even seem to know what a scone was … mon Dieu! What seems to be happening is that the new independent cafés and restaurants are  all going down the same route. We think it might be called the hipster route. They all look very similar and they all serve the same pretend healthy stuff. Perhaps they don’t do scones because they have to be fresh and are just too much trouble?  Internal view of Costa Coffee in East Sheen

Only marmalade!

Normally we try to give our custom to independent coffee and tea houses rather than the multinationals. Today, however, in this buzzing area of south west London, it was down to Costa Coffee, the second biggest multinational, to come to the rescue. They had fruit scones and they had cheese scones, hurrah!  In places like this our expectations are never that high and we feared that after some very indifferent service at the counter and the place being a wee bit untidy, that these expectations were being realised. A scone at Costa Coffee in East SheenWhen it came to the scones however we were very pleasantly surprised … they were warm and probably had the most fruit we have had in a scone in a long time. No cream and the only jam they had was marmalade. Heyho, we like to be adventurous.
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Government opposing themselves

Given the overall experience this was nowhere near a topscone. Having said that, however,it wasn’t at all bad. At least Costa is British. Starbucks coming to the rescue would have been too much to bear! Englandshire is going through its local government elections at the moment. Even though London voted overwhelmingly, like Scotland, to stay in the EU the biggest issue in this area seems to be weekly bin collections rather than Brexit! What with everything that has been going on, our present government should be the easiest in living memory to oppose. However the Labour party seems to have failed yet again in that department. The Tories are actually doing a better job of opposing themselves than Labour and are still coming off best in the elections!A logo sign at Costa Coffee in East SheenSW14 7NX                  tel: 020 8878 0351                    Costa

Homemade, Ordinary, Scones, self-service

National Shooting Centre 2

We don’t often revisit places we’ve previously reviewed and, even when we do, we don’t usually write about them again, however, on this occasion we felt an exception was justified.

Back in July last year you may remember that, thanks to a friend who was competing in the European Clay Pigeon Shooting Championships, we decided to join him at the National Shooting Centre Scotland and try to reduce our almost total ignorance of the sport. Even if just by a tad. We were amazed by the sheer magnitude of the event. Hundreds of people from many countries all milling about … with shotguns! They were also serving scones hence it appeared in the blog.

A few months later and much to our surprise, we got a lovely email from the NSC saying they had come across our post by chance when revamping their own website and inviting us for a free lesson. How could we refuse? Our schedule however, meant that it wasn’t until now that we were able to take them up on the offer and, even at that, Pat couldn’t make it so it was just me. Could I do a scone on my own?? Internal view of the National Shooting Centre Scotland

A makeover

What a difference a few months make ….wow! The old somewhat drab and dreary interior of the clubhouse had been totally transformed. Clean white walls, comfy armchairs and a huge wood burning stove giving an overall warm and welcoming feel to the place.Internal view of the National Shooting Centre Scotland

Stewart and Amy also gave me a very warm welcome. Stewart insisted however, that there would be no scones until I had proved myself able to kill at least one clay pigeon.  After a brief safety chat and gun selection we were out on a stance and ready to go. It has always been a little disturbing for a non-shooter like me to enter a room which is completely lined with guns. Maybe it’s got something to do with the recent anti-gun protests in the US? Who knows, but such potential for destruction can be a little unnerving to the untutored eye. The gun room at the National Shooting Centre Scotland

I know you are all desperate to know how I did. Suffice to say I hit more clays than I missed. I was a trifle pleased with myself. I, of course, put it down to my own innate talent, however, I guess Stewart would have put it down to his expert tuition. And he would have been right.

Finger licking

There was a wonderful brief moment when any lingering thoughts I may have harboured about shooters being a blood thirsty lot were completely dispelled. Unbelievably, a kestrel came in and hovered, stock-still, right in line with all the guns. All shooting stopped until it had done what kestrels do and moved on about its business … magic! A scone at the National Shooting Centre ScotlandBack in the clubhouse it was time for a well earned scone. Amy, a shooter herself, did the needful and produced one of her own home-baked scones which was absolutely delicious.

It would have got a topscone award had it not been presented fully loaded with jam and cream. You all know our thoughts about that. Scones should come with jam and cream on the side so that individuals can load them according to taste. Although this is a founding principle of all sconology, we do recognise that shooters often have others to load their guns for them. Maybe it’s got something to do with that? Should we make exceptions … no! Just my opinion of course since I was flying solo on this one. Never mind, as the scone’s contents squished out the sides with every bite, it became yet another finger-licking good experience. Logo of the National Shooting Centre Scotland

Red Velvet

Maybe not finger-licking but a good experience anyway seemed to be had by Kim Jong-un as he watched South Korea’s Red Velvet girl band at a pop concert in Pyongyang , something which, previously, he would have pronounced illegal. Maybe there’s hope for the world after all.

Many thanks to everyone at the National Shooting Centre for their kindness, patience and hospitality. It was a just great!

FK1 3AL     tel: 01324 851672     National Shooting Centre Scotland

Scones, self-service, Top

The Orangery – Hopetoun

A pineapple wall decoration Orangery tearoom at New Hopetoun Garden CentreThis is becoming a habit. Eating scones in orangeries that is! It’s not that long ago since we were at an orangery at Ham House in London and here we are at it again. Life can be hard. Today we were actually trying to track down Shapes auction house which had notified us of a move to Port Edgar from Edinburgh, when we came on this place. It’s in an excellent garden centre which we have known for many years. It started life in the walled garden of nearby Hopetoun House but twenty years ago moved a mile or so to its present site. And became known as the ‘New’ Hopetoun Garden Centre. A sign at New Hopetoun Garden CentreOn the way in you are greeted with this sign which makes you wish you had been here on Sept 5 1792, it must have been quite a day. It was a Wednesday!

Not to be confused with Sept 5 forty years earlier in 1752. Not only did nothing happen, it didn’t even exist. That year, in order for Britain to catch up with the rest of the world which used the Gregorian calendar (we know, it is hard to imagine Britain being out of step .. but just try), it was decreed that the day following Sept 2 would be Sept 14. Just like that, eleven days just vanished! You thought time travel was just a figment of the imagination but the entire population of Britain was actually doing it centuries ago!

Good mood

We digress. The Orangery is everything you would expect from a garden centre tearoom … spacious, bright and with a good range of food and drink on offer. Internal view of the Orangery tearoom at New Hopetoun Garden CentreIt is self service but, even though it was busy, we were quickly attended to by some very friendly staff. Pat decided on our traditional choice of a fruit scone but I opted for cherry … hey, why not? Both scones came with loads of jam, butter and cream. A scone at the Orangery tearoom at New Hopetoun Garden CentreThey had really crunchy exteriors with soft middles which made them delicious but a bit difficult to manage. They tended to crumble very easily. We thoroughly enjoyed them though … topscone. Because service is usually a factor we don’t normally give topscone awards to self service establishments but the self service here was great. The sun was shining and we were in a good mood … well done The Orangery!

Pilgrimage

A little bit further along the road we came to Port Edgar near South Queensferry. The ‘Edgar’ bit comes from Edgar Aetheling, the brother of Queen Margaret of Scotland who set up the ferry crossing in the 11th century to help pilgrims on their way to St Andrews. It operated until 1964 when the road bridge was built.

The old Forth Road Bridge over the river Forth with the Forth Railway Bridge in the background
The Forth Road Bridge from Port Edgar with the Rail Bridge in the distance

Originally a naval base it is now a leisure marina. Visitors to Port Edgar are now treated to an excellent view of the new Queensferry Crossing … opened only a few months ago.

The Queensferry Crossing over the river Forth
The Queensferry Crossing from Port Edgar
Costs

It is a magnificent feat of engineering and now, with Boris Johnston talking of a bridge across the English Channel, it is perhaps worth explaining some facts about this one. It was built by the SNP government on time and under budget. Obviously Carillion was not involved. It was opposed by all other political parties who promptly fell over themselves to take credit when it was completed. There was no funding from Westminster. Something to remember if the Channel Bridge ever gets the go ahead. Scotland will undoubtedly be saddled with 10% of the costs of HS2 and Crossrail for little or no benefit. Anyway, we did find the new premises of the auction house which was massive but shut. Not opening until the end of the month apparently. Heyho, we had thoroughly enjoyed our day!

EH52 6QZ    tel: 01506 834433         New Hopetoun Gardens

p.s. our Trossachs correspondents sent this picture. We thought they had been quiet recently. Maybe they just can’t get out .. or are just too busy building snowmen!A snowman at Kinlochard

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Café by Benugo

When we were on Orkney we got a real sense of community. People supported each other by making local crafts and selling local produce. Staff had time for a chat and all that. There was just a certain honest homeliness about the island and the people so we were not surprised to learn that it was voted best place to live in the UK, five years in a row. In spite of the wind! Today’s venue is about as far away as you can get from that. This could easily be where the Great God of Consumerism actually lives!

View from John Lewis' Café by Benugoby Benugo
View from Café by Benugo

It is, of course, Buchanan Galleries in Glasgow. Even the name of the cafe at the John Lewis store, ‘The Cafe by Benugo’, sounds a bit pretentious. Turns out that ‘Benugo’ is a company founded by Ben and Hugo Warner (see what they did there) in London in 1998.

Portrait of founder of John Lewis
John Spedan Lewis

They now service all the John Lewis stores as well as many others and have over 2,000 employees … well done Ben and Hugo. The John Lewis stores themselves are perhaps not too far removed from the community spirit we found on Orkney. They are run by the John Lewis Partnership, set up by John Spedan Lewis in 1920.

Illogical systems

After the store had been operating for over fifty years he had the revolutionary idea (for the time) that staff would be better motivated if they had a say in running the company. And a share in the profits … something which continues to this day, all staff are ‘partners’ in the company. The JLPartnership also runs the Waitrose supermarket empire and is now a multi £billion business … a far cry from its first day’s takings of 16s 4d (82p) in 1864. What about the scones by Benugo? It is self-service and the seating area is spread around a vast glass balcony overlooking one of the busy concourses. Internal view of John Lewis' Café by Benugo

We opted for a ‘cream tea for two’ which at £8 seemed like good value. It was slightly odd, however, in that, usually with these things, you can have whatever you like to drink. Not here! Pat wanted peppermint tea, no problem, but I felt like a coffee. No, it had to be tea or nothing. A scone at John Lewis' Café by BenugoNo big deal but it just seemed like a slightly illogical  bit of inflexibility. The scones themselves were good though a little on the sweet side for our taste … no topscone unfortunately.

Partnership working in Spain

Illogical inflexibility seems to be the order of the day. The Spanish government has just removed Catalonia’s autonomy. Surely a massive blow to democracy. Unbelievably, it’s happening within the EU. Goodness knows where they will go from here but you can’t help feeling that it will all end in tears. Scotland should beware … devolution is currently under threat with the repatriation of powers from Brussels. Many of which may never reach Edinburgh if Westminster gets its way. Hopefully Spain will take a lead from John Spedan Lewis and get into some sort of partnership with the Catalans. It worked for him.

G1 2GF     tel: 0141 353 6677       The Café by Benugo

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Orangery – Ham House

FOR SALE des-res in Ham. Thames side location just a short walk from Richmond. Price £1,131! Okay, that was in 1650, just 40 years after it was built by Sir Thomas Vavasour. Goodness knows what it would be worth today. Only Russian oligarchs need apply. Back then however it seemed to be mainly Scots who had the money. Firstly it was William Murray, 1st Earl of Dysart, then Lord Elgin, then John Maitland, 1st Duke of Lauderdale, then Archibald Campbell, 1st Duke of Argyll. In fact several Dukes of Argyll were born here?? The last Earl of Dysart, the 9th, died in 1935 leaving almost £5million but with no direct heirs so in 1948 it passed to the National Trust. And hence they let riffraff like us in. The Orangery Café at Ham House

The interior of the house is supposed to be spectacular but we didn’t bother going in … scones we were after! The gardens are extensive and beautifully manicured. Apparently the oldest Christ’s thorn bush in the country is situated right here on the tea terrace outside the orangery. Not old enough to have provided anything for the crucifixion … but old. The orangery itself is said to be the oldest in the country but then again, the country is not exactly stacked out with orangeries.

Cream first?

It was a lovely day for sitting out so, oncA scone at the Orangery Café at Ham Housee we had acquired everything from the self service counter, that’s what we did. The scones were good and were accompanied by the ubiquitous Rhodda’s Cornish Cream that we are always going on about. Down here it seems much more acceptable than it does in the Highlands of Scotland

A cream first scone at the Orangery Café at Ham House
What a mess!

where there is plenty of local cream. There was also ‘National Trust’ jam and a pat of butter. We were here with our daughter who lives nearby. Before we realised what was happening she had done her scone cream first … arrgghh, dragged up!

Dreich

Nevertheless, no matter which way you prepared these scones they were very good, not topscones but very good. All in all this was a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon. A friend from Maryland who had stayed with us some months back had become fascinated by the word ‘dreich’. In Scottish that means ‘inclement’ or ‘pretty miserable’. He emailed to see if it could be applied to hurricanes or if we had another word for that. We had to let him know that ‘dreich’ was about as serious as our weather gets. So, no, we didn’t have another word. It made us realise, though, with Hurricane Irma reaking havoc all through the Caribbean, how lucky we are to have the weather we have. Even though all we do is complain about it.

TW10 7RS     tel: 020 8940 1950      The Orangery TA

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Riggs Coffee House

Coffee cup at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkCall us boring, call us unadventurous if you like. Our previous post on Sorochas was from Falkirk and here we are again posting from Falkirk. We can explain ! We haven’t been anywhere else! So … continuing with our boring unadventurous lives we ventured once again into the nether regions of the town. This time to Riggs Coffee House, which until a month or so ago, was Forth Valley Butchers. Advert at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkIt’s hard to keep up with our ever-changing high street as yet another coffee house replaces a traditional business. The burning question, of course, was … would this newcomer have scones?

Riggs specialises in Italian coffee and makes quite a song and dance about it – the advertising appears everywhere. It is difficult to understand the thinking behind putting a picture of a young, presumably Italian, stud lying on a beach with a beautiful girl and a Vespa, in front of people in Falkirk on a wet windy Wednesday afternoon. A tad annoying … especially when you’ve always wanted a Vespa. Got the beautiful girl already! Doubly annoying when there’s great local coffee, made and sold here in Falkirk, in the form of the Cat’s Pyjamas. Why don’t they make a song and dance about that, it’s very good. 

Fields of flax

There is a problem though – what sort of equivalent picture could be used to advertise Scottish coffee?? Tricky one … suggestions welcome. Anyway Riggs is on the corner of the High Street and Lint Riggs (fields of flax) which used to be the centre of the linen industry in the town. The flax (lint) was prepared here before making its way a few hundred yards to Woo’er (weaver) Street to be made into garments. All that is long gone now and in 1903 the state of the street was considered to be so poor that it was demolished in its entirety and a new Lint Riggs (the one you see to the right of the header picture) was built. Interior view of the Riggs Coffee House, Falkirk

Entrepreneurial ladies

Riggs Coffee House is tastefully done up but when we entered the chap behind the counter looked as if his entire staff had just phoned in sick. Not a happy chappie! He did have scones though! Apparently he had not intended to stock such unitalian items but a lady came in one day and offered to supply him. The resultant trial period had  scones flying off the shelf so now they are a permanent feature. One up for the scones! A scone at the Riggs Coffee House, FalkirkThere was a choice of plain, fruit or treacle and we opted for fruit.

They were very good, nice texture, plenty fruit and they went very well with the much vaunted Italian coffee which, in spite of not being quite “the cat’s pyjamas”, we had to admit was very good. In fact, with the exception of the scone, nothing we had here; jam, butter, coffee, came from Scotland … shame! In the end this was not quite a topscone … good effort though. Well done that entrepreneurial lady. Oh, by the time we were leaving your man’s demeanor seemed to have improved dramatically. We wish him and his venture every success.

FK1 1EY        tel: 01324 627028       Riggs Coffee House FB

One of our correspondents, fondly known as “The Pedant” has been in touch. He came across a K6 (Kirkintilloch variety) at the Henry Moore Collections in Much Hadham, Hertfordshire. Don’t worry the telegraph pole sticking out of the roof is not a new design feature.A K6 at the Henry Moore Collection in Much Hadham

Much Hadham

Much Hadham sounds like the sort of place that the EU should be conducting its Brexit negotiations. Last year, the oil company Shell, which operates in 70 different countries, paid tax in all of them. It paid the Norwegian government £4.3 billion to add to its £1trillion Wealth Fund. Our brilliant negotiators here in Britain ended up paying Shell £187 million so presumably Shell must operate out of Much Hadham as well.

A K2 telephone box in London
A London K2

 

How come, with all the hundreds of billions of oil money that has rolled in over the past thirty years the UK, in stark contrast to Norway, has simply acquired massive debts. Where did it all go? While you write your answers on a postcard can we make a plea for some Norwegian negotiators to come over and help us with the Brexit talks.

Still on the subject of telephone boxes, our ever adventurous Trossachs correspondents have sent a photograph of a rarely seen K2 on a recent visit to London. Don’t know precisely where it was manufactured but was most likely, Kirkintilloch. We will endeavour to be more adventurous in future. We must be running out of new cafés in Falkirk anyway. Musn’t we?

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies

It was way back in January that we got a tip-off about the scones at Dobbies Garden Centre just outside Stirling.

January, afternoon tea with two Dobbies scones

Our ever diligent Trossachs correspondents had bought some to take home only to find that they had been given some extra ones free. This was more than they could handle on their own, so they passed on a couple to us. We ate them as part of an afternoon tea we were having with some neighbours. At the time we thought they were rather good, if a little bit oversized. We had to split them up to make them more manageable for our guests. Since then, we have been promising ourselves that we would visit Dobbies and do a proper review. Seven months later, today is the day.

Internal view of the restaurant at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Just part of Dobbies’ restaurant
Automation

The garden centre is big and they have a restaurant to match. It is a little bit surprising to come in and find so many people out shopping and then to find a large restaurant which is equally busy. The servery area is also big. Rather than wait in a long queue we opted to go to the automated self service part. There is normally some sort of problem with these vending machines … and so it was. However the problem was not so much with the machine as with the operators.

Automatic coffee vending equipment at Dobbies Garden Centre, Stirling
Coffee machine about half way through delivering and it cannot be stopped

Basically, from the large array of cups, all of which looked identical to us, we selected what turned out to be a tea cup. Of course it was far too small for the quantity of coffee being delivered. A kind of Niagara situation ensued. We were a bit bemused by this until we noticed that there were similar but slightly larger ‘coffee’ cups … trauma over.

We had opted to share a cherry and coconut scone because they were all so large. Also we hadn’t actually tasted that particular combination before. Perhaps we should have stuck to what we know because we found this combo somewhat insipid. The tiny pieces of cherry were relatively few and far between and the coconut, although there, did not feature strongly enough. The scone itself was fine though, still too big for our taste. No topscone here but maybe the prize for the biggest.

Dressing like Ruth Davidson

The problem with Westminster and Holyrood being on holiday is that there is nothing much to report. Witness the BBC’s interminable coverage of athletics. But wait a minute, apparently the end of the world has just got a whole lot nigher. We should report that in case any sconeys get caught unaware. With the great big ‘Goliath’ madman in Washington threatening unimaginable fire and brimstone against the wee ‘David’ madman in Pyongyang who likes dressing up like Ruth Davidson, there may not be much time left. The big question. Will Scotland manage to become an ordinary self respecting  country before armageddon? The man in the know, Alex Salmond is predicting 4 years for independence but that may be too late.

Civilizing scones

HMRC has admitted that Scotland’s economy is actually £15b bigger than they had reported … oops. The latest figures showing that England ran a massive trade deficit in 2014 and 2015 whereas Scotland had an even greater surplus in those years. Perhaps we can just squeeze in a wee bit of self respect before we are all blown to smithereens. How to avoid complete annihilation? We think that Trump and Kim Jong should sit down together over afternoon tea. The civilising influence of a good scone cannot be overestimated and the size of the Dobbies’ scones should almost match their egos!

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BREAKING NEWS: Our Tyrolean correspondents have lodged a report on what could possibly be the first ever scones to be baked in Austria. You heard it here first! They were in Scotland for a few days and became so obsessed with scones that when they returned home they baked some of their own ‘Austrian scones’. First scones to be baked in AustriaThey look good and by all accounts were good. No information on whether Austrians go jam or cream first. But together, dear readers, we are taking scones to the world. And the world will be a better place! Many thanks C and M.