Tag Archives: Falkland

Pillars of Hercules

Legend has it that the Pillars of Hercules are supposed to hold the sky away from the earth. Supposedly so that Atlas could escape damnation. Sadly, today we have to report that if Atlas was here in this part of Scotland he would be very damned. The pillars aren’t working! Storm Babet has come raging in from the North Sea like a woman scorned and the sky seems to have collapsed directly onto the earth. Her rage is affecting the whole of the UK but red, ‘Danger to Life’ notices have been issued. Fortunately we are on the southern fringes of the worst affected areas in Aberdeenshire. Nevertheless, when driving it seems as if Babet is just outside the car chucking buckets of water directly at the windscreen. And we could swear we could hear her laughing hysterically! Our valiant little wipers, however, were struggling to cope.

Surprise

Imagine our surprise then when, through all this biblical rain, we could just about make out a large sign saying “this way to the Pillars of Hercules“. Really? Maybe we could help with some maintenance work?  Care was needed, however, because Plato allegedly said that the island of Atlantis lay beyond the Pillars of Hercules and the pillars bore a warning ne plus ultra “nothing further beyond“. Logo of the Pillars of Hercules, FalklandWe needn’t have worried, it turned out that the Pillars of Hercules is a 25 acre organic farm. It has a shop selling their produce and a cafe. We were able to park very close to the door and make a dash for the shelter within..

External view of the Pillars of Hercules
Not cold but definitely not a day for sitting out
Organic

As well as selling their own stuff the  large shop sells loads of other stuff, all organic or vegan in nature. Fruit and veg at the Pillars of Hercules

What’s in a name?

It’s an unusual place named in honour of keen neo-classicist Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce who we last came across when we reviewed the Covenanter Hotel in the nearby village of Falkland.  He was the son of slave traders who married into money and ended up owning the whole village in the 1850s. He became keeper of Falkland Palace. Onesiphorus was educated at Eton, where else would he get away with a name like that? We seem to remember him as a bit of a spoiled brat so not sure,150 years later, why he should be commemorated like this! Never mind, the big question was would the cafe have scones?Food counter at the Pillars of Hercules

Fiddly

Yes they did … fruit or cheese! Unfortunately the girl behind the counter may have been called Babet … a face like thunder. She may have just got out of bed on the wrong side but we have seldom experienced such miserable service. A scone at the Pillars of HerculesNot ‘bad’ service, just miserable. Strange because the service in the shop had been the exact opposite. Never mind, our scone arrived and it was rather good. It had a very crusty crust and the inside was nice and soft with plenty of fruit. The combination of hard crust and soft innards , however, meant it just broke into little bits when we tried to cut it. Picking up the pieces and buttering and jamming them individually was a  bit fiddly. If there had been cream and service with just a vague hint of a smile it might even have made a topscone. But there wasn’t so it didn’t.Internal view of the Pillars of Hercules

Eventually we had to leave our cozy little sanctuary with its wood burning stove and face Babet again. Thankfully it had stopped raining but the wind was still blowing a hoolie. Going over the Queensferry Crossing bridge was interesting, Pat never once looked up from her phone.

Winning?

Labour has won two important by-elections at Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire with a massive swing to them from the Conservatives. They are hailing it as a massive breakthrough destined to send Keir Starmer into Downing Street. Perhaps they should bear in mind, however, that if the ballot paper only had two names on it … ‘Conservative’ or ‘Anyone else’, the Conservatives would still have lost.

According to the forecast the pillars holding the sky up aren’t going to be fixed for another couple of days. We’ll just stay home.

KY15 7AD         tel: 01337 857749          Pillars of Hercules
 
///polo.forecast.calendars

The Covenanter Hotel

Sign at the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland“Down with tyranny – we are and we will make free”.

Depending on you’re political stance, these words could easily refer the UK’s departure from the EU .. or, just as easily, to Scotland’s continuing struggle for independence. These words don’t refer to either, however. It was, in fact, the cry of the Covenanters when they were descending on government troops in Dumfries in 1666 at the start of the Pentland Uprising. The Covenanters refused to recognise the King, rather than Christ, as head of the Church. Thus began some of the bloodiest episodes in Scottish history with over 18,000 Covenanters eventually paying the ultimate price. You mess around with Christians fighting other Christians at your peril … God on both sides?

Falkland Palace, where James V died in 1542. He had been visiting his mistress at Tantallon Castle then spent a few days with his pregnant wife in Linlithgow Palace before  traveling to Falkland where he fell ill and passed away. Serves him jolly well right!

What’s in a name?

Statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce opposite the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Tyndall-Bruce statue

In spite of its name, this hotel, does not appear to have any direct connections with Covenanters. It was probably named after a famous Covenanter, Rev Richard Cameron, who was born in one of the neighbouring houses. When you enter between the two Doric columns of the doorway you come into what seems like a rabbit warren of small sitting rooms and bars. Eventually we were directed by some very chatty and friendly staff to a small snug bar. From the window we could look across the road to Falkland Palace and the statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall-Bruce. What a name … sounds like an advert for single piece pyjamas? Turns out that Onesiphorus was the son of slave traders, educated at Eton and Oxford who, by the 1810, had managed to acquire debts of £50,000, approx £1m in today’s money. He ended up marrying into money and owning the whole of Falkland. A perfect example of British upper class privilege that’s still so prevalent today.

View from the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandiew of the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Downtown Falkland

In the movie, Outlander, the Covenanter Hotel was Mrs Baird’s guest house where Claire and Frank spent their honeymoon in episode 1. As we pondered whether they had had a scone A scone at the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandor not, ours arrived. Quite nicely presented, we were eager to get started. Sadly, they were probably the worst scones we have had in a long time. Peculiar texture and very sweet. No topscone but we enjoyed our visit nevertheless. Falkland is a wonderful village that still looks as if it belongs to a bygone era.

Anyone for …?

We did consider going for a game on the oldest tennis court in the world … first played on in 1539. It’s within the Palace and takes the form of Royal tennis … one of only forty such courts in existence. Not something that Andy Murray would recognise and difficult after a large scone. We just went home.

Free scone

We are sponsoring a free scone at the Covenanter Hotel for anyone who can predict what will happen in the next week of British politics. Answers on a postcard … no time wasters!

KY15 7BU      tel: 01337 857163      Covenanter

///haggling.cycled.vesting

ps Many thanks to our Canada correspondents who sent us this photo of a Falkirk K6 outside the Mad Hatter pub in Orangeville, Ontario. K6 outside Mad Hatter pub in Orangevill, Ontario

///count.zoomed.violist