Ghislaine Maxwell Archives - Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Happy New Year everyone! We hope that you enjoy a happy, healthy and prosperous 2022. May all your scones be topscones filled with lots of lovely jam and cream! Normally we spend Hogmanay at our local pub but this year, due to COVID restrictions, we decided to give it a miss and just spent it at home.

So far, the year has been scone free but needless to say we hadn’t reckoned on our correspondents. The last place we expected to hear about a scone, however, was Fredericton, the capital of New Brunswick in Canada.

Heroic adventure

Two of our correspondents got in touch to try and claim the highest scone ever featured on this blog. Wait until Richard Branson hears about this! Will he take up the challenge? Our correspondents had gone to extraordinary lengths! Refreshing to realise that folk still have that heroic spirit of adventure; 1st to the South Pole; 1st to climb Everest etc etc. You can probably tell from the title photo, however, that they did not transport a scone to the summit of Everest, a mere 29,000 ft … no, no, no, they had higher aspirations. 40,000 ft to be precise. And even though Everest grows at 1.5 inches a year, that was going to take a long time. They eventually managed to do it albeit with a little assistance from British Airways.

Unaware

Fredericton used to be called Pointe Ste-Anne until the British drove out the French settlers in 1758 and renamed it after one of King George III’s fifteen children. What are we Brits like? The French were foreigners in Canada after all?? Whatever, we are pretty sure that the 60,000 good people of Fredricton would have had no inkling of the momentous sconological event happening directly overhead.

A scone on board BA flight — Scone with height confirmation from flight information

By all accounts the scone was rather good but of course our correspondents were not qualified to give any sort of award, It does look a little odd in appearance and it is amazing that Rodda’s Cornish Cream can get to these dizzying heights as well as just about everywhere else on the planet. They thoroughly enjoyed them, however, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it! As for the highest scone award, yes this is indeed it. Our previous high flying scone was a measly 33,000 feet but we cannot remember who reported it. We have introduced a new ‘highest’ category however, so if any of you want to challenge perhaps you should contact Branson, Bezos or Musk.

Travelling in COVID times

Needless to say, our correspondents did not do this specifically to gain the highest scone award, fantastic though it may be. No, they were going to visit family in Conneticut and in these COVID times that is no mean feat. To quote “not difficult taking the tests but filling in the required half baked and inaccurate websites is mind numbing. “Help line” has now become the world’s greatest oxymoron”. They made it, however, so congratulations on that as well as their scone achievement.

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PS: when we reported from Cafe Circa we said that we would let you know what the book we bought, ‘A Tillyloss Scandal’ was about. The author was none other than J.M. Barrie who created Peter Pan. He was from Kirriemuir which he called Thrums in the many stories he wrote about the town. Most of the dialogue is in the local dialect … so not a particularly easy read! It is set in the early 1800s: “Tillyloss is three broken rows of houses in the east end of Thrums, with gardens between them, nearly every one of which used to contain a pig-sty“.

Attending your own funeral

The main character is one Tammas Haggart. When he discovered that his wife, Christy, pretended to her friends that she was married to another man he was not best pleased that she should think so little of him. He left, not knowing where he would end up. After walking some distance he eventually fell asleep sitting against a tree. He awoke to find that he had been robbed of his hat and his great coat that had been lying beside him. Unbeknown to him the thief fell into a nearby quarry and died with a badly damaged face. The local folk, however, identified him as Tammas simply by the clothes he was wearing. Later when Tammas returned to the town he overheard folk talking of his demise and of the funeral arrangements. Thus, a few days later, from a distance, he was able to observe his own funeral.

Tammas went off and had many adventures as far as Edinburgh and some even say London. Eventually some years later he returned to Thrums and, of course, caused quite a stir. Consternation caused by the fact that not only was he alive but who on earth had they buried? Tammas went home to see Christy but rather than a big welcome he found her sitting quietly by the fire smoking his pipe.

As scandals go?

So now you know. Not perhaps a scandal on the scale we have nowadays with Andrew, Duke of York and Ghislaine Maxwell. However, it turns out that Prince Andrew is simply maintaining a long standing tradition. In 1809 the then Duke of York was disgraced in similar circumstances. Have no fear, however, we are sure, that Humpty Dumpty’s Duke of York was an honourable exception … phew!

So it’s Super Saturday, we can all relax and enjoy ourselves! For our many international readers who may not know, this is the day when in spite of England having a much worse r-rate than Scotland most of the COVID rules in England are withdrawn. So, as Scotland maintains its rules for another couple of weeks we thought, for this post, you might like to hear how we are coping with all the stresses and strains of months of COVID-19 lockdown. Remember the millenium bug that threatened to bring our computers and the world crashing down round about our ears? Well, it had nothing on this bug!

Back gardens

Actually though, for us, it’s been quite a relaxing and pleasant experience. There are obvious problems like not seeing grandchildren etc but it’s not all negative. We don’t need to get dressed because no one is coming to the door. And why tidy the house? Can’t remember the last time we washed! Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration but all in all, it hasn’t been bad. Why wouldn’t it be when the reality consists of sitting eating Royal scones in a sunny back garden. That’s not strictly true either. The other day, with local restrictions being relaxed, we had the pleasure of testing our Trossachs correspondent’s Royal scones in their back garden.

Trossachs correspondents scones — Royal scones by our Trossachs correspondents

We behaved! Maintained our social distancing but have to admit to getting up close and personal with the scones. Delighted to report that the result of this official review was an easy topscone. Fantastic and thoroughly deserved. We had a wonderful afternoon with wonderful friends in their wonderful sunny garden. Many thanks … wonderful!

Strawberries

Readers might be lulled into the false impression that we have had an easy time of it in lockdown. Well, we have, however, it has not been entirely worry-free. Recently, for instance, we have been concerned about what to do with a surfeit of strawberries. They are ripening faster than we can eat them. Part of the solution was to eat them every day. Sometimes with ice cream, sometimes just with pouring cream and sometimes with custard. The strawberries are winning, however. Eventually, we might have to resort to making jam. In the meantime, we are having them with our scones. Pat made another batch of scones to the Royal recipe and we are eating them with homemade gooseberry jelly, whipped cream and sliced strawberries. Fab!

Over the wall

So you can clearly see that it has not all been plain sailing. However, we do not want readers to worry. We are just fine sitting in the garden. And to set your minds at rest, we think the strawberry crisis is manageable. When we look over the garden wall, however, we see a world that is confusing, hairy and relatively sconeless and that’s a bit worrying.

Back to Super Saturday. What sort of idiot decided that Saturday the 4th July would be a good day to jettison restrictions and open the pubs in England? Oh yes, that idiot! Boris says he is relying on people’s good sense to behave responsibly. He chooses to overlook the fact that if people had ‘good sense’ he would not be Prime Minister. It’s the downside of democracy. When Gary, Tank Commander says that it was wrong for the army to go into Iraq he observes that it was the government that told the army to do it. And who put the government there? Us! He’s right. Now, at least, folks can get their hair cut in England.

Confusing?

Meanwhile, Trump wants to put America ‘first’ in the charge to have the highest coronavirus fatalities, however, the UK, or rather England, is snapping at their heels. Both states, of course, have one thing in common … numpties in charge.

scones pre oven — In case you’re wondering, this is what raw Royal scones look like; pre-oven

In Scotland, we are urged to stick to being two meters apart (in case of doubt, that’s one Highland cow or one Highland dancer apart). Boris has now said that in England it has been reduced to one meter or “one and a bit” meters. In the spirit of compromise, an English person in Scotland presumably has to stay one and a ‘big bit’ meters apart? There is also much confusion around the rules for quarantine as England lifts its rules but Scotland doesn’t. The solution, of course, is obvious. Instead of the Scottish government, with both hands tied behind their back, doing a much better job than their Westminster counterparts they should have complete freedom to be a proper effective government. That only comes with independence, of course.

How will it all end ?

It remains to be seen how Super Saturday pans out and how the pandemic progresses. It’s a crazy world. With the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell in America, the Queen must be longing for a good old Royal Garden Party, a cup of Earl Grey and one of her scones. if she needs a shoulder to cry on. she is welcome to come round here for a scone and a wee chat.

PS: In case you think we are existing in a boorach of a house on a mono-diet of strawberry scones, we’re not! The other day we found a trout on our doorstep! And we are far from any kind of river! Not only that but it had been smoked. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, however, Pat had it transformed into this delicious pasta dish. It was the cat’s pyjamas!

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: Ghislaine Maxwell

Fredericton