Tag Archives: numpty

Super Saturday

So it’s Super Saturday, we can all relax and enjoy ourselves! For our many international readers who may not know, this is the day when in spite of England having a much worse r-rate than Scotland most of the COVID rules in England are withdrawn. So, as Scotland maintains its rules for another couple of weeks we thought, for this post, you might like to hear how we are coping with all the stresses and strains of months of COVID-19 lockdown. Remember the millenium bug that threatened to bring our computers and the world crashing down round about our ears? Well, it had nothing on this bug! 

Back gardens

Actually though, for us, it’s been quite a relaxing and pleasant experience. There are obvious problems like not seeing grandchildren etc but it’s not all negative. We don’t need to get dressed because no one is coming to the door. And why tidy the house? Can’t remember the last time we washed! Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration but all in all, it hasn’t been bad. Why wouldn’t it be when the reality consists of sitting eating Royal scones in a sunny back garden. That’s not strictly true either. The other day, with local restrictions being relaxed, we had the pleasure of testing our Trossachs correspondent’s Royal scones in their back garden.

Trossachs correspondents scones
Royal scones by our Trossachs correspondents

We behaved! Maintained our social distancing but have to admit to getting up close and personal with the scones. Delighted to report that the result of this official review was an easy topscone. Fantastic and thoroughly deserved. We had a wonderful afternoon with wonderful friends in their wonderful sunny garden. Many thanks … wonderful!

Strawberries

Readers might be lulled into the false impression that we have had an easy time of it in lockdown. Well, we have, however, it has not been entirely worry-free. Recently, for instance, we have been concerned about what to do with a surfeit of strawberries. They are ripening faster than we can eat them. Part of the solution was to eat them every day. Sometimes with ice cream, sometimes just with pouring cream and sometimes with custard. scones from the ovenThe strawberries are winning, however. Eventually, we might have to resort to making jam. In the meantime, we are having them with our scones. Pat made another batch of scones to the Royal recipe and we are eating them with homemade gooseberry jelly, whipped cream and sliced strawberries. Fab!scones and strawberries

Over the wall

So you can clearly see that it has not all been plain sailing. However, we do not want readers to worry. We are just fine sitting in the garden. And to set your minds at rest, we think the strawberry crisis is manageable. When we look over the garden wall, however, we see a world that is confusing, hairy and relatively sconeless and that’s a bit worrying.

Back to Super Saturday. What sort of idiot decided that Saturday the 4th July would be a good day to jettison restrictions and open the pubs in England? Oh yes, that idiot! Boris says he is relying on people’s good sense to behave responsibly. He chooses to overlook the fact that if people had ‘good sense’ he would not be Prime Minister. It’s the downside of democracy. When Gary, Tank Commander says that it was wrong for the army to go into Iraq he observes that it was the government that told the army to do it. And who put the government there? Us! He’s right. Now, at least, folks can get their hair cut in England.

Confusing?

Meanwhile, Trump wants to put America ‘first’ in the charge to have the highest coronavirus fatalities, however, the UK, or rather England, is snapping at their heels. Both states, of course, have one thing in common … numpties in charge.

scones pre oven
In case you’re wondering, this is what raw Royal scones look like; pre-oven

In Scotland, we are urged to stick to being two meters apart (in case of doubt, that’s one Highland cow or one Highland dancer apart). Boris has now said that in England it has been reduced to one meter or “one and a bit” meters. In the spirit of compromise, an English person in Scotland presumably has to stay one and a ‘big bit’ meters apart? There is also much confusion around the rules for quarantine as England lifts its rules but Scotland doesn’t. The solution, of course, is obvious. Instead of the Scottish government, with both hands tied behind their back, doing a much better job than their Westminster counterparts they should have complete freedom to be a proper effective government.  That only comes with independence, of course.

How will it all end ?

It remains to be seen how Super Saturday pans out and how the pandemic progresses. It’s a crazy world. With the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell in America, the Queen must be longing for a good old Royal Garden Party, a cup of Earl Grey and one of her scones. if she needs a shoulder to cry on. she is welcome to come round here for a scone and a wee chat.

PS: In case you think we are existing in a boorach of a house on a mono-diet of strawberry scones, we’re not! The other day we found a trout on our doorstep! And we are far from any kind of river! Not only that but it had been smoked. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, however, Pat had it transformed into this delicious pasta dish. It was the cat’s pyjamas!

smoked trout pasta
A strawberry free tagliatelle with smoked trout in a light sauce.