Tag Archives: Rishi Sunak

Ale & Pate

8th February 2024 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

How did we end up here at Ale & Pate in Dalgety Bay? You know how sometimes we go to the cinema in the morning and then go on somewhere in the afternoon. This is one of those days.

Weird films

We went to see the movie “Poor Things” at the Hippodrome in Bo’ness. There’s been a lot of fuss about it recently but we still weren’t sure if we actually wanted to see it. It’s almost two and a half hours long and when it finished we were kind of left wondering what we had seen. Set in a fantastical 19th century with gorgeous sets and brilliant acting it’s sort of hypnotically fascinating to watch and a bit weird all at the same time. We think we are glad to have seen it although not 100% sure.

Afterwards we thought we would follow the advice we had received when we posted from the The Bruce Arms in Limekilns. Tracy, the barmaid, had highly recommended the scones at Ale & Pate in Dalgety Bay. Although it is not more than half and hour by car from home we had never been there. The main road skirts past the town so unless you have a good reason to visit you just don’t. We’ve never had a reason … until now!

Originally it was just the little fishing village of Dalgety but then it was redeveloped in 1962 and became Dalgety Bay. Interestingly (or not) the tiny village of Dalgety (pop 252) almost became the capital of Australia. Not this one but one in New South Wales. Eventually, in 1908, it lost out to Canberra. Boo, we would have voted for Dalgety!

Back in Scotland we were trying to find our destination amongst all the 60s style houses that give it that kind of “new town” look. Eventually we tracked it down to a small utilitarian looking unit in the middle of a housing estate. It was above a fish and chip shop, sandwiched between a couple of Indian restaurants and next door to a dental practice. We didn’t know what we had expected but it wasn’t this!

Anyway, if we had any lingering doubts about the place they were soon placated by our first sight of the scones – they just looked fab!

Weird scones

There was a choice of “fruit” or goodness gracious, “date and orange”. It had to be one of each. Pat was already making favourable noises by the time I got started on mine. Lately, we’ve had a run of what we term “weird scones”. Not nasty weird, just different. There was “cranberry” scones at The Bruce Arms then ‘milk chocolate and strawberry’ scones at Callendar House, and now ‘date and orange’. What is going on – weird films, weird scones? No cream but both these really fresh scones had been gently warmed and mine even had a drizzle of icing on top … delicious. Our original disappointment at first sight of Ale & Pate was more than compensated by the friendly service and the excellent scones. Yet another topweird scone.

Not having been in Dalgety Bay before we decided to explore after leaving Ale & Pate. For all its ‘newness’ it does have a fair bit of history. Things would have been very different here over the centuries. DalgetyBay is built on Donibristle Estate, the seat of the Earls of Moray .

Donibristle stables — This was just the stable block for the Earls of Moray at Donibristle House. Now it is private apartments

In fairness it has to be said that there were fewer witches burned in Dalgety than in other villages along this Fife coast. Having said that in 1649, Isobel Kelloch was put to death. She had offered a head scarf to another woman who then suffered a headache. At the same time, and perhaps in the interests of equality, they also burned Robert Maxwell. He was considered an “ignorant” man and a warlock. Imagine how many people we could do away with if these views still prevailed? The mind boggles!

The beach at Dalgety Bay — Dalgety Bay with Inchcolm Island (pop 2) in middle distance and Edinburgh far right

Weird world

As well as our weird films and weird scones the whole world just seems a bit weird at the moment. The UK and the US both have elections this year. On this side of the pond we have Rishi Sunak. He just seems happily detached from reality. In opposition we have Keir Starmer. He is used to know reality but now denies that he ever did. On the other side of the pond we have Joe Biden whose reality is a now a care home. And, in opposition, Donald Trump who thinks reality isn’t actually real.

But never mind all that, as long as all we have to worry about is weird scones, we won’t worry too much! Our thanks go to Tracy at The Bruce Arms for an excellent heads up on Ale & Pate and giving us a reason to visit Dalgety Bay. In spite of searching we failed to find the harbour … we know, how can you not find a harbour? In our defence, at Buckhaven we also failed to find the harbour, so we are experts!. Some day, we will have to return. Watch this space.

KY11 9NH tel: 01383 821599 Ale & Pate FB

///myself.half.backyards

Ordinary, Scones

aran

18th December 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 19 Comments

Just over a year ago we reported from ‘Aran’ in Falkirk and it got pretty close to a topscone award. It has since closed and today’s ‘Aran’ is in Linlithgow but run by the same people. In our original Aran post we said we would report from the Linlithgow establishment at some point in the future … so here we are!

Linlithgow is a very picturesque historic town and this cafe sits not more than two hundred yards from the Palace where Mary Queen of Scots was born in 1542. Unfortunately Aran is housed in a large 60s architectural monstrosity that does no favours to the town whatsoever. A plaque on the wall, however, indicates that it won a design award from the Saltire Society. What were they thinking?

You will remember, of course, that “aran” is Gaelic for “bread”. They take great pride in their sustainability and sourcing local produce. They bake everything themselves using 100% renewable electricity as well as recycling 75% of their waste. Highly commendable but what would their scones also be highly commendable?

Topless

Over the past year we have had our fair share of scone disasters. Aside from the relatively few places that have had below average scones, there have been places with no scones and others with outlandish flavour combinations. Here, however, we had another kind of disaster … topless scones! Because I had ordered a bowl of soup Pat went ahead and chopped the top of our shared scone before I could take a photo. Not only that she had eaten it before I even noticed. This is the first time we have posted a photograph of a topless scone and I cannot tell a lie … it was her! However, she did say that the top was very good and with cream it would have been a topscone. The bottom was delicious as well … one of the best bottoms I’ve tasted! So not quite a topscone but highly commendable.

Goodwill

This is the season of merriment and goodwill to all men (for men read men, women and everything in between and beyond). However, sitting here looking at the world from Linlithgow, where the town motto is “be kind to strangers”, we’re not seeing much in the way goodwill. No-one seems to have told the Putins, Sunaks, Ali Khameneis, Bidens, Netanyahus. However, here in Scotland, in three days time we will have our shortest day at slightly less than seven hours. From then on the days start to stretch and we begin again with renewed hope that all these guys mentioned above will try to enact that motto.

Pat and I are getting ready for the usual deluge of grandkids so sconological adventures may have to be left to one side over the festive season. We thank all our readers for your continued loyal support and wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and sconey 2024.

EH49 7EY tel: 01506 844477 aran FB

///stumpy.excusing.beaters

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Spean Bridge Mill

15th November 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Getting to Spean Bridge Mill wasn’t by way of our intended route. Our mood on finally leaving Kinloch Lodge matched the weather … it was raining! We wanted to take the ferry from Armadale to Mallaig on the mainland so that we had a different route going home. Unable to book on line, however, we decided to just turn up. The ferries are big boats after all and during the winter months they would be quiet. Wrong! CalMac, the ferry operator, had not only reduced the number of crossings from nine to two per day, they have also reduced the size of the boat. It could only take ten cars and guess what, we were … car eleven! The ferryman said “you couldn’t book because it was full” We said “but it doesn’t say that on the booking site?” He said “I know, it’s not fair“… argh!

Retracing

We had no choice but go back the way we had come and use the Skye Bridge, Now our return route was to be the same as that taken on our way to Skye several days ago. Thankfully, this time, there was no snow on the high ground as we approached Cluanie, We stopped briefly at the Commando Memorial just before reaching the village of Spean Bridge. The Memorial looks out over the hills of Ben Nevis though today they were all shrouded in mist.

The Commando Monument at Spear Bridge — Pat and the Commando Memorial

On the 11th of this month we had Armistice Day. Wouldn’t it be good if this day was used to display the true horrors of war and the abject stupidity of it all? That might be more productive than one that honours it and sanitises it with poppies. These commandos were paid a pittance to go out and kill and be killed. Most veterans say wars are nothing but a complete waste. The way we honour war makes it much easier for politicians to ease their consciences and start meddling in other people’s affairs. Perhaps with wars being a veritable gold mine for some people it might be an idea to forbid all MPs from holding any kind of interest in arms companies. Or … world leaders should be compelled to recite the words of “Where is the Love” by the Black Eyed Peas. Just a thought!

Panto season

At least Armistice Day finally gave Rishi Sunak the backbone to, at long last, get rid of Home Secretary, Suella Braverman. Her rabble rousing statements labelling Palestinian protests as ‘hate marches’ didn’t really leave him much option. They were attended peacefully by over 300,000 people with most of the trouble caused by thugs from the Islamophobic, English Defence League.

The return of Dave

In his reshuffle, Rishi has brought back former Prime Minister, David Cameron as Foreign Secretary. Since he’s not even an MP, Rishi could only do this because yesterday at breakfast time, the King made Cameron a Lord. That means he can only sit in the completely unaccountable House of Lords. And here’s us thinking that the pantomime season hadn’t started yet!

Cameron was PM when we started this blog eight years ago and there’s been an unbelievable five PMs since then. With Ukraine and Israel, Cameron has undoubtedly got his work cut out so we can only wish him luck. It’s ironic that Israel seems hell-bent on casting itself as the worst abuser of human rights and breaker of international laws since the Nazis. America’s unswerving support for Israel could make you suspect that it will become the 51st state. Could it be that they just see themselves as fellow colonisers? The war is thinly disguised as a war against Hamas but what is Hamas? Nowhere in the media have we seen any attempt to explain why Hamas even exists. Another mystery!

Self service

Anyway, enough ranting, what about the scones or is that going to be another rant? Spean Bridge Mill is only a couple of miles from the Commando Memorial. It is a woollen mill quite obviously set up to cater for busloads of tourists … gift shop, whisky shop etc. At this time of year it’s quiet. In the cafe, almost the first thing we came to on the self-service counter was the scones … preloaded!. Goodness, they were impressive! So impressive we decided to give them a try. It wasn’t until we reached the cash desk we realised they had some normal scones as well. By that time it was too much hassle to go back and start again.

To make matters worse they had put the jam on top of the cream! And here we are thinking Cameron had problems! And to make matters even WORSER, they were quite good. Mamma mia! You had to eat them with a fork and knife and spoon but they tasted good and were a nice consistency. They reminded us of Kiki McColl’s scones at Liosbeag Café on the Isle of Lismore eight years ago. Obviously Spean Bridge Mill wasn’t a topscone but definitely an experience.

After that we were homeward bound again after a memorable few days away. Although we covered a fair bit of Skye there was lots we didn’t get to. We need to go back … and the sooner the better!

PH34 4EP tel: 01397 712260 Speak Bridge Mill FB

///nickname.splint.triathlon

ps: Suella has just published a three page letter announcing that her former boss, Rishi Sunak, is a complete waste of oxygen. He’s behind you Suella … oh no he isn’t, oh yes he is!

Scones, Top

Balbirnie House revisited

28th October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

We last visited Balbirnie House back in January when Rishi Sunak was visiting Scotland as Prime Minister for the first time. He was to be Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister, such was the turnover in Tory PM’s. Now she has gone as well but having just passed her driving test at the ripe old age of 53 she seems to be thoroughly enjoying having time to herself again. With an upcoming election Rishi might soon be able to do the same.

He keeps telling us that Britain is leading the world in just about everything. Problem is that, according to a recent report, we are also leading in terms of destitution with 3.8 million people now defined in that way. “Destitution” differs from “poverty” in that it means that people suffering from destitution can no longer afford the basics required to live. Of the 3.8 million, 1 million are children. Normally, destitution results in homelessness. With most of the government consisting of multi-millionaires they won’t have the slightest notion about destitution so they’ll probably just ignore it and hope it goes away.

We offer this bleak assessment of the state of the UK as a backdrop to us wittering on about the joys of lemon curd combined with lemon flavoured scones in a large luxurious country house. We know!

You might wonder why we are back here so soon, after all it’s only been a matter of months. It’s only a short drive from home but the main reason, of course, is that we enjoyed our previous visit and wanted to do again – simple! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they give you a cream tea when you arrive.

Locked in?

Balbirnie was built in 1815. With beautiful grounds, a golf course and 31 bedrooms, all with beds the size of Texas, it’s particularly popular for weddings. It even has its own “padlock fence” where couples can return and attach their own padlock. A bit weird but we think we understand?

Padlock fence at Balbirnie House — If you are all loved up you might use this, obviously Cameron and Catriona were!

Lemons were also grown in orangeries and when our scones arrived they turned out to be lemon scones accompanied with lemon curd and clotted cream. A heady combination which we had never tried before. Pat wasn’t too sure so they supplied her with a little dish of raspberry jam as an alternative. We seldom if ever attach the word ‘tangy’ to a scone tasting but these were delicious and ‘tangy’. There’s a first … and an easy topscone.

Senseless

As if the world doesn’t have enough senseless killing at the moment, there’s been yet another shooting in the US. This one was in Lewiston, Maine with at least eighteen people dead so far. The 565th mass shooting in the US this year. Republicans will doubtless trot out that tired and tattered line “guns don’t kill – people do”. Except, of course, people do find it much much more difficult to kill without guns! C’mon Republicans you can do better than this?

KY7 6NE tel: 01592 610066 Balbirnie House Hotel

///freshest.seats.period

Ordinary, Scones

Nosh

21st September 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

It’s a sure sign that summer is coming to an end. Could it be the lower temperatures, the leaves turning, or the days shortening? Well yes, but it’s more that we have started going to the movies after breakfast. We enjoy it. It supports our local picture palace and it feels slightly sinful when you come out and it’s only lunchtime. It also allows us to explore the town of Bo’ness and find places like Nosh, the scene for today’s scone.

Internal view of the Hiipodrome cinema — Inside the Hippodrome

We haven’t been here at the Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest cinema ,since February when we saw ‘Till’, an excellent movie. This time it was ‘The Innocent‘ a French romcom heist caper about stealing a truck load of caviar. Enjoyable enough although subtitles can be hard work when they go rapidly … why do the French speak so quickly?

In some ways watching a French film in Bo’ness is kind of appropriate. Bo’ness was once one of Scotland’s largest ports and would have traded the black stuff (coal not caviar) with France for many centuries. Scotland was France’s oldest ally since the two countries formed the Auld Alliance in 1295 in an attempt to control England’s many invasions. Trade between the two circumvented England and ports like Bo’ness and Leith thrived. It may also explain why Scotland has always thought of itself as much more European than England.

After the film we ended up here in Nosh, one of the few cafés we haven’t visited in the town. It’s located in a building built in 1750 as a tollbooth.

Overdo plaque at Nosh in Bo'ness — Built in 1750 but who were ‘RB’ and ‘EB’?

It’s more of a takeaway place for sandwiches and the like but it does have a few tables.

On the counter, under a glass dome, were two scones individually wrapped in cling film.

We never think this is a good idea. Scones need to breathe after all and sometimes it means that they might not be entirely fresh. Anyway, we ordered one to share as well as a some coffees. Our scone turned out to be not at all bad but a long way off a topscone.

Obedience

The Prime Minister has single handedly managed to upset almost everyone by announcing that he is rolling back on his commitment to green policies. The date for net zero will now be 2035 instead of 2030. Goodness knows what it will be by the time we reach 2030? Right or wrong it does demonstrate this Tory government’s unswerving dedication to screwing things up. It wouldn’t be so serious if there was a better option waiting in the wings, but there isn’t! The only thing the Labour Party, “the opposition” seems to do is support the Tories. Voters are caught between a rock and a hard place. In Scotland, after one invasion too many by England, we have no say and just do what we are told!

A watercolour of Nosh in Bo'ness — A watercolour of Nosh’s building

Meanwhile King Charles and Queen Camilla are in France trying to thaw out relationships after the disaster of Brexit. Good luck with that!

EH51 0EA tel: 01506 828151 Nosh FB

///taps.dude.something

Scones, Top

Cairn Lodge

3rd April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Shetland seems like a distant but very fond memory now. We will always remember the friendliness of the people there. These days there’s a tendency for people to be a bit self-absorbed so it was great to see a healthy spirit of community on these islands. Anyway, now it’s back to reality. Although we would have a cheek to call Cairn Lodge in Auchterader, reality!

If it is reality then we are having a very soft landing. Today we were invited for breakfast by friends which was fabulous. And now we are at Cairn Lodge because other friends have invited us for afternoon tea. How lucky are we?

One of our aunts really liked Cairn Lodge so we used to come here years ago. Since then it has been taken over by Aurora Hotels and they have completely revamped it to become a luxury destination. Probably just as well because its next door neighbour is the well known haunt of the rich and famous, Gleneagles Hotel.

Friends to the rescue

It might be an age related thing but ‘time’ seems to play tricks on us these days. Huge amounts of it seem to simply disappear. We haven’t seen these friends since they rescued us from a car crash near their home … and that was over six years ago! Incredible! Ironically, the car that crashed into us was racing to try and catch the ferry from Aberdeen to Shetland. Nobody seriously hurt but our car was completely wrecked. Our friends, however, galloped to the rescue. They fed and watered us then insisted on delivering us to our destination many miles away in Pitlochry. Much water has flowed under the bridge since then so there was a mega amount of stuff to catch up on!

The young lady looking after us was superb and within two shakes of a lamb’s tail she was filling our glasses with bubbles and presenting us with an absolutely delicious artichoke based amuse-bouche. Then came a three tier stack of afternoon tea. Two of them between the four of us as well as a separate plate of sandwiches. Sometimes we think that afternoon teas are misjudged in that there is often too much of everything. We thought this one was judged perfectly. Separate little pots of jam and clotted cream completed the presentation. It probably goes without saying that everything was delicious and the scones were no exception. There was a plain scone and a whisky soaked fruit scone for each of us.

Harmony

Thinking about it now, it seems unbelievable that, in Scotland, this is the first whisky soaked scone we’ve ever come across. Lovely and warm, nice and crunchy on the outside and a delicate soft interior with that ever so subtle hint of the amber nectar. Two of our favourite things brought together in perfect harmony! So good they almost made our ‘totallyeffinbrilliantscone’ category!

Not so brilliant perhaps was Scotland’s new First Minister, Humza Yousaf’s first week in his new job. Many have expressed disappointment but we feel he needs to be given a chance. He has a mountain to climb! Isn’t it peculiar that all political parties recognise Scotland as a nation yet refuse to give us permission to determine our own future. What sort of logic is that? It’s also a bit odd that we now have Humza Yousaf, a practicing Muslim of Pakistani extraction and Rishi Sunak, a practicing Hindu of Indian extraction fighting over Scottish independence. You couldn’t make it up!

Today has been fantastic and it is all down to our wonderful friends. With friends like ours and whisky soaked scones, what more could we possibly ask for?

PH3 1LX tel: +44 1764 661095 Cairn Lodge Hotel

///tonsils.plan.calibrate

Ordinary, Scones

Food@34a

1st February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

At the risk of becoming repetitive and boring with our cinematic exploits … here’s another. You are all aware by now that we have developed a rather sinful habit of going to our local cinema … in the morning! They even give you a cup of tea and a biscuit! How nice is that?

External view of the Hippodrome in Bo'ness — Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest picture palace

In our defence, we do try and bring you a fresh scone with each of these outings … this time it’s the turn of Food@34a.

There are garages … and then there are garages

Timing wise, this morning was rather difficult because our car was booked in for its annual MOT. Our garage is out in the boonies but no need to worry. They said they would give us a lift to the cinema, MOT the car and pick us up afterwards. How nice is that?

This time the film was called “Till”. An excellent movie set in 1955. Based on a true story about a fourteen year old black boy, Emmett Till, moving from Chicago to Mississippi for the summer to be with his cousins. He met a horrendous end, however, at the hands of white supremacists. In essence though “Till” is about a mother’s love for a lost son. It was extremely well done but we found it a difficult watch. It left us both a bit raw.

Hell

For some reason it always seems naughty to be coming out of the movies and then going for lunch. And since. they gave me an indulgent slice of caramel shortcake with my tea instead of a biscuit, I’m sure I’m going straight to hell.

Food@34a is directly opposite 1884, a cafe we reviewed five years ago. It’s a rather odd name and the external appearance cannot be described as particularly inviting. Inside, however, it was a different story … bright and clean and airy! Problem was, however, all the tables were taken. We were just about to walk back out the door when a lady called over and said that we could have their table as they were about to leave. How nice was that?

As a bonus the table was at a window so we are able to look out at the traffic … yeah! Honestly, the ‘biscuit’ at the cinema was all we had had all day so we were ready for something more to eat. After an excellent bite of lunch we launched into the fruit scone we were sharing. It was nicely presented with little bowls of jam and butter. We asked our server if they had cream. She said that they sometimes did but she would go and find out. She returned very apologetically saying that they didn’t have any today. Disappointing but how nice was that?

We particularly liked the food and cheery helpful service at Food@34a and would not think twice about going back. Oddly, in the short time that we were there it went from completely full to pretty much empty. When the garage picked us up they had given the car a clean bill of health. How nice is that?

Ethics

In out previous post, Hope Street Cafe, we said that we couldn’t really understand why our PM, Rishi (couldn’t punch my way out of a paper bag) Sunak hadn’t fired his Party Chairman over his £4.8million tax oversight. Well he has gone now, but only because Rishi’s ethics adviser advised him to do so. Just the presence of an ethics adviser infers that Rishi is unable to tell right from wrong by himself. Now he has a couple of dozen bullying complaints about his Deputy, Dominic Raab to deal with. He’s appointed a high powered lawyer to help him with that. The Tories certainly love their scandals!

EH51 0EA tel: 07380 600235 Food@34aFB

///fixture.melts.snares

ps: a newspaper in Fife has recently reported on a local man who was trying to sell a Roll On Deodorant.

An article about a local man trying to sell a roll on deodorant

And another headline “Pensioner’s Big Cock Becomes Tourist Attraction”.

Ordinary, Scones

Balbirnie House

17th January 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

The other day, when we told a friend that we were going to Balbirnie House for scones and a seven course dinner, he said “You lucky bloggers” … at least, we’re pretty sure that’s what he said. Although the seven course dinner with matching wine flight was quite enticing what swung it for us was the promise of a cream tea on arrival. How could we resist?

The hotel is only a thirty minute drive from home, in the Kingdom of Fife. “A beggar’s banquet fringed with gold“.. that’s how James VI of Scotland once described Fife. The “gold” referred to the lovely beaches all along its coastline. Balbirnie House is in the village of Markinch in central Fife … so that’ll be the begger’s banquet then! Could this be an omen for our dinner?

The Orangery at Balbirnie House — the Orangery

We did not want our cream tea to spoil our appetite for our ‘banquet’ so we arrived early in the afternoon. The spacious Orangery was where it was served. Our scones were very good. A nice crunchy outer layer combined with a warm soft interior … just the way we like them. Plenty jam and cream so what was the problem? Just the size. Normally we expect to get two relatively small scones with a cream tea but these were just too big. Pat only managed one. I did my best with the second but was eventually beaten into submission. And there was another problem!

Size is everything?

The coffee was Nespresso which meant that it was good but served in small Nespresso cups. Even though we could get as many cups as we liked, we don’t think that these pod machines are appropriate for situations like this. It just seemed a bother to keep asking for more. A nice big pot of coffee is much better. Argh, so the scones were too big and the coffees were too small. Are we turning into grumpy old bloggers?

Internal view of Balbirnie House — after dinner drinks by the fire

Seven

Anyway, us ‘lucky bloggers’ had to report later on for dinner. If we couldn’t manage a couple of scones what would we be like with a seven course dinner. As we get older we no longer seem as able for huge feasts, hence we normally share everything. No need for sharing here though! Each course was ideally sized and consequently we got through all the courses without a problem. Helped, of course, by four different specially selected wines.

However, by the time we were finished we were absolutely stuffed. We had to retire to one of the lounges for recuperation by a big log fire. This blogging game cannot be taken lying down … or maybe it should be?. No, it requires copious amounts of grit and determination, not to mention stamina! Honestly, after eight years of doing this, we are in the peak of condition … don’t scoff!

Rishi Sunak, the latest Prime Minister through that revolving door at 10 Downing Street, made his first visit to Scotland the other day. Currently he is presiding over a disastrous situation of strikes across the entire public sector. A situation skilfully crafted over thirteen years of Tory rule by his predecessors.

To celebrate his sojourn north of the border, he and Scotland’s First Minister met for dinner in Inverness. We don’t know how many courses! Rishi has the honour of being Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister since she came to power. She seems to be collecting them like the Queen used to do. He seems to have survived the experience and emerged relatively unscathed but probably with several fleas in his ears. No point in going through the promises made because promises from Westminster are not worth the paper they are written on these days. Actually, not just these days, as long as we can remember!

If you ever get the chance to experience one of Balbirnie’s dinner you should take it. Great experience and great value.

KY7 6NE tel: 01592 610066 Balbirnie

///submitted.healers.students

Scones, Top

Schloss Roxburghe 2

12th December 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

This post is entitled Schloss Roxburghe 2 which is a bit unusual since it was only October when we were last here. Normally, years pass before we revisit places. In our previous visit we talked about all the ambitious building work that was taking place at the time. This time we had been informed that many of the changes had now been completed so we were back to see for ourselves.

External view of Schloss Roxburghe showing new rooms — new 58 additional rooms and the pool area

Hardships

Of course, we cannot pretend that this involved any hardship on our part. This place is definitely not noted for hardship! That said, we had hoped that the heated outdoor swimming pool, sauna and plunge pool would have been completed but no, not quite … argh! The weather has taken quite a frosty turn … ideal for a swim in a lovely warm pool. I’d even packed my Speedos! Disappointing but we reckoned we could survive that sort of hardship. But would there be any more hardships?

The spa at Schloss Roxburghe — Spa reception

Well yes, the spa area wasn’t quite finished either. But the new gym was open 24/7.

By the time we had walked the length of the gym and looked at all the apparatus for inflicting self induced torture we both felt quite light headed … we needed refreshment and somewhere to sit down.

The State Room at Schloss Roxburghe — the State room

What a State!

The State Room was the answer … another splendid addition since our last visit. A cosy log fire, very comfortable surroundings … and a bar! A place to relax with a whisky or a G&T … or even a scone.

Last time we thought the Schloss Roxburghe scones rivalled those of Fonab Castle as ‘best scone in the world‘ … quite a claim! We certainly didn’t imagine that they would have dropped their standards since October but thought we should check, just in case. We have to be rigorous … don’t we? No problem they were just as good and, of course, served perfectly by some of the friendly helpful staff. At the end of the day, it was simply a case of reinforcing our original topscone award with another!

No pampering south of the border

In the evening we had the pleasure of experiencing the brand spanking new Charlie’s restaurant. Its name commemorates a visit by Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745. He was about to set off into England with his army and presumably felt the need for some pampering. He doubtless knew he wasn’t going to find any of that where he was going.

Charlies restaurant at Schloss Roxburghe — Charlie’s restaurant

In contrast to the cosy restaurant we enjoyed last time in the old hotel, Charlie’s provides a gleaming modern dining experience. It was great and our dinner was super!

Picture of child on horseback at Schloss Roxburghe — this is how it used to be for children before iPads

Autumn/Winter Collection

During our stay, Schloss Roxburghe was playing host for the launch of Lyle & Scott’s prestigious Autumn /Winter collection. Surrounded by its own golf course and just down the road from the town of Hawick where Lyle & Scott started off in 1874, this was an ideal venue. They’d invited guests from all over the world.

All we can say is that if you are going to impress clients with everything Scotland has to offer this isn’t a bad place to do it. We actually thought that the Lyle & Scott brand had disappeared many years ago … how wrong could we be? Great to see it, alive and kicking and very much a global player.

Britain is not much a global player these days. It seems to come bottom of almost every league table and seems destined to be in recession for a long time yet. The much vaunted International Agreements with non-EU countries are actually costing us money! The whole country is grinding to a halt with industrial unrest. And just when you thought things could not get any worse, England has been eliminated from the World Cup by the ‘old enemy’, France. The economy may be disappearing down the plug hole but we’ll doubtless be treated to days and days of mindless analysis of why this calamity happened.

The invisible man

We do have new Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, to sort all this out, of course … or do we? After a series of blatantly incompetent Prime Ministers we now have an invisible one. Even his own party are nicknamed him “the invisible Prime Minister“. To avoid all these rather annoying irritations we recommend moving into Schloss Roxburghe permanently. As you sip your whisky by one of the log fires you’ll be blissfully unaware of anything other than the need for another log … and even that is taken care of.

TD5 8JZ tel: ‭01573 450331 Schloss Roxburghe

///marinated.wriggled.greeting

Ordinary, Scones

Cafe Tiki

24th October 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

You know how it is … you drive past a place on a regular basis and every time you do you think “I wonder what that place does?” but you never actually make the effort to find out. That’s how it was with this place, Forth Valley Sensory Centre. Barely half a mile from where we live yet it was a complete mystery. The name, of course, kind of suggests help for those with impaired senses but it doesn’t give that much away. Today we decided to find out what it was all about.From the main road you don’t see that much of it but it’s actually quite big and very modern. And to top off our surprises, it has a cafe, Cafe Tiki … excellent!

Wellbeing

The Centre provides services for those who are deaf or hard of hearing as well as those who are blind or partially sighted. It also seems to provide services across a huge area including Clackmannanshire and Stirling. It has over 30 groups, classes and activities to improve the wellbeing of folks with compromised sensory conditions. They’ve even got a Sensory Garden but the weather today meant it wasn’t a day for exploring that. Technically there is nothing wrong with our senses. We know that many of you might disagree with that but we did wonder, in these circumstances, what sort of reception we would get. No problem, we were welcomed with open arms. Under interrogation though we did confess to an excessive-fondness for scones. And that’s when they directed us their scone treatment centre … Cafe Tiki.

It was mid afternoon and it was about to close so we had the whole place to ourselves. We were looked after by a very friendly lady (she was from Glasgow so, of course, she was friendly) who informed us that there was only one single scone left. “That’ll do” we said “we’ll share it“. She disappeared behind a screen and before you could say Jack Flash she was back with the scone. It was already divided into two and loaded with jam and cream … argh! Not to worry, the intention was good. And it wasn’t as if she could give us another one.

Cooking blind

We sat at a table adjacent to the counter and our lady proceeded to chat to us the whole time we were there. She informed us that one of their chefs is deaf and completely blind. Can’t really imagine that! We were quite enjoying our scone but she said that someone else baked them. This was not a topscone by quite a way but we really enjoyed being here and finding out about all these valuable services.

During the course of our cafe chat we did at least learn how to ask for the essential accoutriments for a scone in sign language.

Prime Ministers in record numbers

Perhaps, since this is a sensory centre we should have mentioned our rather painful sensitivity to recent political news. Could they desensitise us? Too late, the news has just come in that Rishi Sunak is to be the next British PM. There have been 58 British Prime Ministers … three of them have been in the last seven weeks. At this rate we might even reach 100 by the 2024 General Election.

Of course, Rishi is merely leader of the Conservative Party at the moment. In true British obfuscatory style, there’s only one man in Britain that can appoint a new PM. That’s King Charles III and Sunak will be his first. In her 70 years on the throne the Queen had 15 Prime Ministers but, unbelievably, the way things are going, Charles could beat that record. Unless Keir Starmer can nobble the King, or Liz refuses to come out of the cupboard under No10’s stairs, Rishi should be PM by tomorrow. He will be the 10th conservative PM in a row that Scotland hasn’t voted for… isn’t that great!

Perhaps the value of the Sensory Centre is best summed up by one of the volunteers “it gets me out of the house and allows the person that I am picking up to get out as well. When they turn around to me and say they’ve had a great day, it makes my day knowing I have helped”.

FK1 4DD tel: 01324 590888 Sensory Centre

///sofa.move.tweezers

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Tag Archives: Rishi Sunak

Ale & Pate

Weird films

Weird scones

Weird world

aran

Topless

Goodwill

Spean Bridge Mill

Retracing

Panto season

The return of Dave

Self service

Balbirnie House revisited

Locked in?

Senseless

Nosh

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Cairn Lodge

Friends to the rescue

Harmony

Food@34a

There are garages … and then there are garages

Hell

Ethics

Balbirnie House

Size is everything?

Seven

Schloss Roxburghe 2

Hardships

What a State!

No pampering south of the border

Autumn/Winter Collection

The invisible man

Cafe Tiki

Wellbeing

Cooking blind

Prime Ministers in record numbers

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics