Category Archives: Ordinary

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Caffe Carlucci

A coffee cup at Carlucci Caffe, EdinburghToday we are back in the Edinburgh, Athens of the North. That title is perfectly understandable when you look around – it is a beautiful city. A couple of hundred years ago, however, it wasn’t quite as civilised as it appears now. For example, one of the punishments for persistent miscreants was for them to be placed in the stocks and one of their ears nailed to the wood. The only means of escape was to tear their own ear off the nail … arrggh! The damaged ear then served as a permanent signal to others that that individual was thoroughly untrustworthy – hence the term ‘earmarked’. Has anyone seen Boris Johnson’s ears recently? We think we now know why he wears his hair the way he does. Of course, things have improved since these days, however, judging by the film we went to see, perhaps, not that much.

Uplifted!

We are at the Cameo Picturehouse again. This time to see Sorry We Missed You, a movie by Ken Loach. An excellent film but not an easy watch. One of those films where everyone leaves the cinema in complete silence. A graphic illustration of what years of Tory rule has done to this country and the hard working people at the bottom of the heap trying to raise their families. Many just get into an endless cycle of debt and are driven into what’s now known as ‘working poverty’.  Should be compulsory viewing for anyone thinking of voting Conservative on Thursday. As you can imagine, we left the cinema in silence as well. Walking out of the cinema though we spied what looked like a scone emporium directly opposite the cinema … Caffe Carlucci! Our spirits lifted – we felt wind beneath our wings once again!Internal view of Carlucci Caffe, Edinburgh

Frozen

Not that much wind, however – just enough to get us over the street! Caffe Carlucci is a nice enough place in a thoroughly unspectacular sort of way. There seemed to be only a solitary member of staff and he didn’t seem that pleased about it. A scone at Carlucci Caffe, EdinburghWe had a light snack which was excellent and then a fruit scone. We didn’t choose a fruit scone, that’s all they had. Both scones came in a rather peculiar elongated shape and were accompanied by prepackaged butter and jam none of which came from anywhere near Edinburgh. The butter was frozen to a degree that rendered it completely useless. There wasn’t any cream so just scone and jam for us. All in all not a bad place but definitely not the greatest scone experience.

Only a couple of days to go before ‘E’ Day on the 12th. Mild apologies to readers outside the UK who have little interest in Britain’s politics. ‘Mild’ because they have not had to endure the last three months of electioneering. It has been ghastly! Parties falling over themselves to promise us the earth, the moon and the stars! We have already used our postal vote, so we’re done. Of course we voted correctly and hope that everyone else does the same. Where on earth will we be on Friday? Will Boris show his ears at last?

EH3 9JP         tel: 0131 466 3188           Carlucci

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Scone and sausageps This is what happens when your order involving a potato scone and a sausage roll gets misheard by the waiter. You get a scone with link sausage! It’s a new one on us. Definitely fits the ‘weird’ category. And no cream or jam by the look of it?? Unfortunately we cannot remember who sent this in but thanks, whoever you are.

pps our correspondents from, jam first, Devon, have sent us a photo of a mixture of Saracen and Carron K6s in Truro in, cream first, Cornwall K6 telephone boxes in Truro

Fabulously, they also found these Falkirk made cannons while in Paraty in Brazil but not on the same outing … obviously!

Carronade cannons in Paraty, BrazilMany thanks

The Rose Café

Logo of the Rose Café, EdinburghWe used to live in Edinburgh and were well acquainted with its varied nightlife. It was a surprise, therefore, to discover that there was a theatre on Rose Street. We had never heard of it. Upon investigation it became clear that when we lived here it wasn’t a theatre at all, it was the Charlotte Baptist Chapel. Not somewhere we would have frequented back then or, indeed, at any time. In 2012 the congregation gave it up in favour of a more suitable venue a short distance away. It wasn’t until Danish ballet dancer Peter Schaufuss bought it in 2017 that it became a theatre. It has several auditoriums, a studio, a rehearsal room and a café – the Rose Café.

We were in Edinburgh to see a movie called “Knives Out” at the Cameo Picturehouse. An excellent whodunit that Agatha Christie would have been proud of. Go see, if you get the chance.Internal view of the Rose Café, EdinburghSince we were in town, however, we thought we should check out the Rose Café as well. It turns out that the basement of the theatre is actually run as a kind of Comedy Club for aspiring comedians. A local production company called Gilded Balloon is in charge of organising things and they promote dance and music events in other parts of the theatre throughout the year.

Black marks

The café is quite big with a variety of seating areas. Since it was quiet when we arrived we chose to luxuriate on some large comfortable sofas tucked away in a corner. We were fortunate thougA scone at the Rose Café, Edinburghh because soon it become very busy indeed. Fruit or plain scones were on offer so, after some excellent lunch, we opted for fruit. Mon dieu! When they arrived they were preloaded and you all know what we think about that sort of nonsense. It does save you all that cutting and spreading business but we still prefer to just do it ourselves. No cream either but apart from these black marks the scones themselves were good … not top but good.

The staff were very helpful and friendly and we enjoyed sitting reading all the promotional material about upcoming events. It was great to make ourselves familiar with a place that, up until today, we had no idea existed. We even booked up for an event next April!Internal view of the Rose Café, Edinburgh

We take our collective hats off to Danish ballet dancers. They seem to be willing to invest vast amounts of their own money in the Scottish arts scene. Indeed Peter Schaufuss has just bought yet another huge venue, St Stephen’s Church. It will become another performance venue in the city similar to this Rose theatre. There can’t be anything more uncertain than running a theatre where you are for ever at the mercy of a fickle public. In the run up to election day on December 12, it seems to be the other way round … the public at the mercy of fickle politicians. When nothing in modern politics can be taken at face value it is almost impossible to predict what might happen with any certainty.

Christmas at the Dome, Edinburgh
Christmas at the Dome in Edinburgh
Incomprehensible

Given that there is little in the way of a credible opposition, there is only one absolute certainty. Scotland will, yet again, end up being governed by a party for which it has never ever voted. Unbelievably, some Scottish people have so little faith in their own country and countrymen, they are willing to vote for far right extremists like the current Conservatives. All to ensure that Scotland maintains it’s status as the only country in the world governed by another, different country. Totally inexplicable … thank goodness for ballet dancers!

EH2 4AZ         tel: 0131 226 4000        Rose Theatre Café

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Falkirk Made Friends K6ps We have mentioned in the past that our local town, Falkirk, was in danger of losing all its K6 telephone boxes. That was in spite of them all being manufactured right here. A group of ‘the concerned’ (Falkirk Made Friends) has at last managed to persuade the Council to adopt three thus saving them from immediate removal. A small but significant step. We will keep you posted.

Falkirk Made Friends is a small campaigning organisation (non violent) celebrating Falkirk’s rich manufacturing heritage.

Lochside Café

In our last post we were wandering round the loch at Beecraigs. Today we are wandering around Linlithgow loch. Now, we are aware that this may give the totally false impression that we spend our lives wandering around lochs. You will just have to take our word for it but we do wander around other things as well. That said, it is quite often lochs. They are lovely walks and we are fortunate to have them so close to home. So why not?

Novembert view of Linlithgow Palace
A late November view of Linlithgow Palace

Today it is cold and overcast, it’s late November after all! However, that doesn’t make the walk unpleasant. Quite the contrary, it’s bracing! Linlithgow has loads of pubs and cafés so one of the added attractions of this walk is the knowledge that you can always find somewhere for après-promenade refreshments. We’ve reported on many of these in the past – So Strawberry, Mason Belles, Fenwicks, the Star & Garter and more. This time it was a bit different. We finished our walk at the west end of the town near the Black Bitch pub (if you want know why it’s called the Black Bitch look at our post on Brodies Vintage Tearoom) instead of the east end. Making our way back into town we came across the, previously unknown to us, Lochside Café.

Daring-do

It’s not a place that jumps out at you … nothing to look at from the outside that’s for sure! Inside though, it’s pleasant enough though nothing much to distinguish it from many other small cafés. Service was friendly though not what we would call ‘happy’. Lunch was good and there was a choice of plain, fruit or lemon and white chocolate scones. Internal view of Lochside Café, LinlithgowOur dedication to reporting on the more exotic scone failed us on this occasion as we opted for, run of the mill, fruit. We must have lost our sense of daring-do somewhere down by the loch! And, of course, we shouldn’t allow our readers, with their insatiable appetite for exotic scones, to dictate our decisions. So there! As it happens the fruit scones were a bit like the whole place, unremarkable! We enjoyed it and there was plenty of jam and cream but no topscone unfortunately. Don’t let the external appearance of this place put you off. As cafés go it’s not at all bad.

Dictating

At the moment, the goings on in Hong Kong are fascinating. As our General Election rumbles on in a thoroughly unedifying fashion the young people of Hong Kong are risking everything so they can have what we take for granted. A skeptic might think that, if they look closely at what we have, they might think again. We feel, however, that what they achieved yesterday, when the results of their District Council elections  were announced, should remind us of how precious our democracy really is. Even if we sometimes look on it with a very jaundiced eye. Hong Kong has no democracy. It is dictated to by a much larger single party state in China. Scotland knows exactly how Hong Kong feels. The only difference is … we have democracy!

Today, the UN is calling for drastic cuts in greenhouse gases but how is the UK supposed to conform? Most of the offending emissions emanate directly from our very own Prime Minister?

EH49 7HN     tel: 01506 848599          Lochside FB

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Hideaway Cafe at Beecraigs

There has been a lot of migration from central and eastern Europe. Thousands of people coming to the UK in what seems to be an totally uncontrolled manner. You may think we are talking about relatively recent times but we’re not. We’re talking about 4,500 years ago. There was mass migration back then when thousands of what we now know as Beaker People moved west. They were called Beakers because they were always buried with their rather elegant bell-shaped clay drinking vessels. When they reached Scotland some of them settled around Cairnpapple Hill where there is still a very well preserved Beaker burial chamber.  It is only a stones throw from where we are today at the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Park.Logo of the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Park

Descendants

So, although folk go on endlessly about mass migrations into Britain, it is absolutely nothing new. In fact, when it comes down to it, hardly any of us are from here originally. We are all migrants in one form or another. Judging by our fondness for using drinking vessels, Pat and I may even be direct descendants of the Beaker people. At the end of the day, as they say here in Scotland – we’re a’ Jock Tamson’s Bairns.

Photo of Beecraigs loch in late November
Beecraigs loch

We had decided to take a walk round the loch at Beecraigs. It used to be regular occurrence when the kids were small but we haven’t been back for many years. The loch is actually a reservoir built by German Prisoners of War during WW1. Apparently the German work ethic was nothing like it is nowadays. Work progressed at a snail’s pace until it had to be finished off in 1918 by conscientious objectors. It’s a beautiful walk, however, and it was really nice to relive memories from the past. The walk seemed much shorter than we recalled. Then we remembered, this time we weren’t trying to herd feral children. We didn’t have to stop and investigate every stick and toadstool along the way.

View from Beecraigs Country Park
View from Beecraigs with the Forth bridges in the distance

One of these children actually got married here several years ago and, with its expansive views, it provided a wonderful setting. No weddings today though, it has all changed. The space previously used for weddings is now filled with displays for the visitor centre explaining the local flora and fauna. However, now they have the Hideaway Café … and scones!

Buzzing

The only problem was that the Hideaway was not living up to its name. It had been found and was so busy we couldn’t get in. However, they gave us a pager and told us to go off and wander arouInternal view of the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country Parknd the exhibits and when a table became available they would buzz us … brilliant. It worked! Within ten minutes we had our table and were able to order some lunch and a banana and white chocolate scone to share. They had plain and fruit scones however we always feel that we should report on the exotica we come across so that readers can continue to expand their knowledge base.

A scone at the Hideaway Café at Beecraigs Country ParkEverything was good, the service was happy and efficient, the food was fine and even the scone was pleasant enough. No topscone unfortunately. Don’t be put off by banana and white chocolate scones … but don’t deliberately seek them out either. Fruit or plain is a better bet.

Flashbacks

Memories are funny things. We have many happy memories of this place. Our family wedding event was superb but it is difficult to imagine it happening now that the venue has undergone so many changes. Yet we still got little flashbacks of that day as we looked around. Memories can play tricks! Apparently the Queen is claiming that the Duke of York is her son however he has no recollection of ever having met her. Boris doesn’t remember ever telling a lie for goodness sake! That’s how tricky it can get!Photo of Beecraigs loch in late November

EH49 6PL        tel: 01506 847111      Hideaway Beecraigs

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Morrisons Café

Back to reality. Our previous post from the Scotch Tea House on the French Riviera  seems like a distant fond memory as now we are in a supermarket in Falkirk … Morrisons Café to be precise. A bit of a come down. There is a perfectly logical explanation however.

You may remember that last year when we were at the Scotsman Grand Café we had a mini five year old person with us. She kept us amused with her weird and wonderful observations through all the problems we were having just ordering a scone. This time, on our return from France, we picked her up in London and brought her and her wee sister back to Scotland with us. Of course, she is six now and and her sister is four. Oh joy! Between them they have enough energy to light up Blackpool!

Scary!

As it’s Halloween, we needed some appropriate costumes so that we could go guising and scare the living daylights out of our friends and neighbours. Hence we found ourselves here in Morrisons buying two spider witch outfits … really scary! The real horror of Halloween is, of course, that Brexit hasn’t happened and Boris Johnson hasn’t died in a ditch as he promised. Guess we can just add that to his ever lengthening string of broken promises. It really is all just a game for these guys!Internal view of Morrisons supermarket, Falkirk

Anyway, having got suitably kitted out we decided to go for a cuppa and some lunch in the café. A scone at Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkIt’s probably fairly typical of supermarket cafés though maybe slightly better than some others we have been in. What it lacks in ambience it makes up for with low prices and edible food. We were surprised to find scones so, of course, they had to be sampled. We shouldn’t really have preconceived ideas about places but suffice to say, we do. Expectations were not exactly soaring. They came with lots of butter and jam, however, cream was too much of an ask. The scones themselves were actually quite nice … nice texture, lots of fruit and only £1 each.  Even at this price, however, a topscone was also too much of an ask.
Old photo of Brockville foorball ground at Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkThis supermarket is built on a site once occupied by Brockville Park, the stadium of Falkirk FC. It’s biggest ever attendance was 23,100 in 1953 for a match against Celtic. In 2004 the football club moved to a new site on the outskirts of the town. For some, however, this is still hallowed ground. For others, of course, Morrisons seems like a much better use of the space.

Eating pancakes?

We know it’s Halloween but horror of horrors, we are going to have a General Election on 12th December … hurrah! Who knows what tall stories we will be told in the coming weeks. After years of austerity there will probably be more money than we can possibly imagine to spend on pretty much anything we want. Life will be good! Everything in the garden will be rosy. Doubtless, however, on December 13th that will all change. Boris will doubtless win but that will say more about the opposition than anything else.Internal view of Morrisons supermarket, FalkirkMeanwhile we have our own somewhat smaller horror show … we must go and scare the neighbours before returning to dook for apples and try to eat pancakes covered in treacle hanging from a string with our hands tied behind our backs. What? It’s just as senseless as having a General Election but way more fun.

FK2 7EU           tel: 01324 639321         Morrisons

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The Scotch Tea House

As you know from our previous post, Café 66, we have been following the swallows in their southerly migration. Unlike us, however, they probably managed to avoid French rail strikes.  As they continued blithely onwards to South Africa we had to contend with the vagaries of continental travel.

A sign in the toilet at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
No jeter in the toilet

As the officials kept telling us, the strike was a ‘surprise’, only announced overnight so there was nothing much they could do The answer to most of our questions was a gallic style shrug of the shoulders. There were a few trains running but no one seemed to know which ones. The French seem to accept such things fairly philosophically. And, in any case, they are fortunate to have Macron to blame for everything.

To cut a long story short we eventually arrived at my sister’s place about five hours late. The swallows were probably in South Africa by then. Never mind, we received a welcome like no other so all our inconveniences were immediately forgotten.

The carpet in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
The Tea House carpet

To make matters worse it was raining. It was raining a lot … a monsoon. It was warmer rain than we get in Scotland, however. Six years since we were last in Nice so there was much catching up to do and new things to see. My sister was keen that we see the new tram system which was still under construction on our previous visit. Also the new Coulée Verte, a beautiful green corridor that runs through the centre of the town. It’s a place for people to walk and take their ease.

Of course, France like the rest of the EU, is pretty much a scone free zone. A bit of a desert to sconeys like us. There are may culinary things France is famous for but scones isn’t one of them. However as we wandered through the Coulée Verte what should we spy in the distance … the Scotch Tea House! Was it  possible that a scone, a beacon of genteel civility, might exist in such a place?

Internal view of the Scotch Tea House in Nice, FranceWe entered into a cool dark wood paneled interior that must have given many delicate Victorian ladies refuge from the midday sun. It didn’t look as if it had changed much in the intervening years. And, sacre bleu, they had scones! This was indeed unexpected. We had thought that we would be scone free until our return to the UK. Once we had chosen our tea from the tea menu it wasn’t long before our scones arrived … toasted? No one had asked if we wanted them toasted, that’s just the way they came.

A scone at the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
Presumably all scones come ready toasted in France

In spite of there being lashings of cream in some of the cakes on display, there was none for scones, c’est la vie. There was a selection of jam and a little pack of French butter … just like you get in the UK!?  The scones were different, not unpleasant – just different. They had a fairly dry even texture which may have been partly due to the toasting. We enjoyed them but thought they fell well short of a topscone. Good enough for a top ‘French scone’. though. Bravo, the Scotch Tea House, good attempt!

The menu in the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France
Specialités Anglaises’, a tad odd for a Scotch Tea House

One of the benefits of being here is that we are almost devoid of Brexit news. Suffice to say, the French are just as perplexed as the UK on the whole sorry fiasco. We may have to all learn the gallic shrug of the shoulders accompanied with a “Quels imbéciles!”External view of the Scotch Tea House in Nice, France

06000 Nice      tel: +33 4 93 87 75 62        Scotch Tea House TA

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The Kelpies Café

Today we find ourselves at the Kelpies Café. We are ashamed! People come from all over the world to see the Kelpies in Falkirk but, up until now, we have never been. Not strictly true because we have been here dropping people off and such like but this is the first time we have actually set out to visit. They were opened six years ago so it’s not as if we haven’t had time. You know how it is, however, when it’s on your doorstep you can always go tomorrow and sometimes tomorrow just never comes! So, after an uneventful five minute drive, on a glorious autumn day, we were here at last.

External view of the Kelpies in FalkirkWhat actually is a kelpie we hear you ask? Well, it’s a Scottish shape shifting aquatic spirit that frequents lochs and rivers. Usually in the form of a beautiful horse. They are not really comparable to Nessie, except in that, like Nessie, they appear infrequently. Unbelievably, some people have gone through their entire lives without ever seeing either.

Handsome?

Almost exactly three years ago when we reported on the Venachar Lochside Café we recounted an incident where a kelpie from that particular loch would sometimes appear as a handsome young man and lure young women and children into the water.  It would then drag them under and devour them. There’s a theory that Boris Johnson may actually be a kelpie trying to lure about sixty million people towards a similar frightful fate. The ‘handsome’ bit, however, throws serious doubt on this theory’s veracity.

Internal view of the Kelpies in FalkirkOur Kelpies today, however, bear none of that malevolence. They merely celebrate the part the heavy horse has played in shaping the Falkirk area in years gone by – pulling coal barges, ploughs and wagons. They are situated at the east end of the Forth & Clyde canal where it joins the river Forth. You can only see their magnificent heads, the rest is under the water … obviously. They are spectacular and we can quite understand why people travel from far and near to see them.

A scone at the Kelpies in FalkirkHowever, after wandering around looking at all the boats and admiring the sculptures a scone soon beckoned. There are three cafés here. Our café of choice turned out to be the one imaginatively called ‘Café’. It’s part of the visitor centre and is fairly typical of such places. Self service but quite a wide range of food options available. We both plumped for a fruit scone. Our relatively low expectations, however, were completely confounded when  they turned out to be rather nice.

A scone at the Kelpies in Falkirk
Spot the fruit

We might have awarded a topscone were it not for the fact that there was no cream (not even Roddas) and hardly any fruit. They might have been better billed as plain scones. Of course, then we would have complained that our plain scones had a bit of fruit in them. There’s just no pleasing some folk! Everything else was fine, however, so overall we enjoyed our visit and our scone. We may even come back!

In brief

The UK shape shifting government looks as if it is going to try and cobble together another deal with the EU. Who knows what’s going to happen? With a completely shapeless opposition, however, they might actually even get it passed, even if it’s worse than Theresa May’s deal! Some people have complained that the explanation of Brexit in our Muircot Farm post was far too long. Hopefully this one, stolen from the internet, is more concise and clearly encapsulates Britain’s negotiating strategy.Brexit summary

FK2 7ZT        tel: 01324 590600         The Kelpies Café

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Graze Coffee House

For this scone at Graze Coffee House we have left the Covenanters Hotel in Falkland far behind and crossed the river Forth to Dunbar. As it happens though we are still maintaining our link to Covenanters and Covenanting. Dunbar Castle was a major fortress in medieval times and became the centre for that well known war criminal, Oliver Cromwell, to provision his invading English army.

View of Dunbar Castle and Victoria harbour
Ruins of Dunbar Castle above the harbour entrance
Martyrs
Fishing boats in the harbour at Dunbar
Fishing boats in Dunbar harbour

The Battle of Dunbar in 1650 is still controversial, even today. The Scots covenanting army was defeated and about 4000 soldiers were taken prisoner. They were marched south to be imprisoned in Durham Cathedral so they could take no further part in the conflict. They were treated so badly, however, that only about half survived the journey. Some died of exhaustion and others were simply shot. Many survivors were sold into slavery but many others died in the Cathedral. In 2013 scientists unearthed a mass grave near the Cathedral containing their remains. It is thought that other such mass graves exist nearby. There is now a campaign to repatriate the remains of these “Dunbar Martyrs” back home to Scotland.

View towards the Bass Rock from Dunbar
Looking over the river Forth towards Fife with the Bass Rock left of center
John and Greta

The reason we are here, however, has nothing to do with Covenanters. We thought that, since we had visited one end of the John Muir Way at Helensburgh, we should have a look at the other end in Dunbar. John Muir was born here in 1838 and went on to become the leading conservationist of his time. It was said of him that he was “saving the American soul from total surrender to materialism“. If he was alive today, he would doubtless be amazed that it has been left to youngsters like Greta Thunberg to carry the torch.

Sign for dangerous cliffs on the John Muir Way at Dunbar
a sign, thoughtfully placed by the EU

We elected to walk the last mile or so of the trail along the coast to Dunbar itself. Along the way we found many warning signs of the fast approaching Brexit date at the end of this month. The path meanders along the clifftops and eventually ends up at Dunbar Castle.

Artillery gun at Dunbar
Pat getting ready to repel Johnny Foreigner after Brexit
View of Dunbar Castle at the end of the John Muir Trail
the end of the trail with Dunbar Castle in the distance and a large picture of John Muir himself …. it’s either him or Billy Connolly

Needless to say, after such exertions on a bright but blustery day, a scone was called for. We were reliably informed by two women hanging around on a street corner that the best scone in town was at the Graze Coffee and Chocolate House in the High Street. They seemed to know what they were talking about and it was only a few yards from where we were. In no time at all, we were settled in and ready.

Date and walnut

The staff were were extremely friendly and welcoming and soon had Pat sorted with a cheese scone and me with a date and walnut one. Date and walnut? Is this a step too far? No worries. Pat thought her scone was good but not quite deserving of the topscone accolade. My scone was very good as well. the walnuts gave it a delightful crunchiness. Although I had passed on the cream (Rhoddas) the overall combination  with jam and butter was very good. Not quite a topscone from me either but a great wee café and thoroughly recommended.

Hard to believe

We feel slightly nauseous as Boris Johnson soaks up the adoration of his supplicants at the Tory Party Conference and tries to pretend that his seven page cobbled together ‘deal’ is worthy of consideration by the EU. We are increasingly dismayed. Hard to believe, in such desperate times, that we have someone as weak as Jeremy Corbyn leading the opposition. Heyho, fingers crossed, he can pull a rabbit out of a hat before the 31st.

EH42 1EW        tel: 01368 864619         Graze Dunbar

///recovery.reserving.chip

ps with only about three  Brexit weeks to go before we leave the EU no one can express our feelings better than A A Gill. He wrote this article shortly before his death in 2016.  We’ve included it as a ps so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but it’s worth it … and there’s a K6 at the end to keep you going … enjoy!

Three weeks to go

“It was the woman on Question Time that really did it for me.
She was so familiar. There is someone like her in every queue, every coffee shop, outside every school in every parish council in the country. Middle-aged, middle-class, middle-brow, over-made-up, with her National Health face and weatherproof English expression of hurt righteousness, she’s Britannia’s mother-in-law. The camera closed in on her and she shouted: “All I want is my country back. Give me my country back.
It was a heartfelt cry of real distress and the rest of the audience erupted in sympathetic applause, but I thought: “Back from what? Back from where?”

pps We found two Falkirk made K6s in Dunbar. This one is in the High Street. The campaign to get Falkirk Council to preserve some K6s is ongoing with Falkirk Made Friends on FacebookA Falkirk made K6 telephone box in the High Street in Dunbar

The Covenanter Hotel

Sign at the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland“Down with tyranny – we are and we will make free”.

Depending on you’re political stance, these words could easily refer the UK’s departure from the EU .. or, just as easily, to Scotland’s continuing struggle for independence. These words don’t refer to either, however. It was, in fact, the cry of the Covenanters when they were descending on government troops in Dumfries in 1666 at the start of the Pentland Uprising. The Covenanters refused to recognise the King, rather than Christ, as head of the Church. Thus began some of the bloodiest episodes in Scottish history with over 18,000 Covenanters eventually paying the ultimate price. You mess around with Christians fighting other Christians at your peril … God on both sides?

Falkland Palace, where James V died in 1542. He had been visiting his mistress at Tantallon Castle then spent a few days with his pregnant wife in Linlithgow Palace before  traveling to Falkland where he fell ill and passed away. Serves him jolly well right!
What’s in a name?
Statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce opposite the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Tyndall-Bruce statue

In spite of its name, this hotel, does not appear to have any direct connections with Covenanters. It was probably named after a famous Covenanter, Rev Richard Cameron, who was born in one of the neighbouring houses. When you enter between the two Doric columns of the doorway you come into what seems like a rabbit warren of small sitting rooms and bars. Eventually we were directed by some very chatty and friendly staff to a small snug bar. From the window we could look across the road to Falkland Palace and the statue of Onesiphorus Tyndall-Bruce. What a name … sounds like an advert for single piece pyjamas? Turns out that Onesiphorus was the son of slave traders, educated at Eton and Oxford who, by the 1810, had managed to acquire debts of £50,000, approx £1m in today’s money. He ended up marrying into money and owning the whole of Falkland. A perfect example of British upper class privilege that’s still so prevalent today.

View from the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandiew of the Covenanter Hotel in Falkland
Downtown Falkland

In the movie, Outlander, the Covenanter Hotel was Mrs Baird’s guest house where Claire and Frank spent their honeymoon in episode 1. As we pondered whether they had had a scone A scone at the Covenanter Hotel in Falklandor not, ours arrived. Quite nicely presented, we were eager to get started. Sadly, they were probably the worst scones we have had in a long time. Peculiar texture and very sweet. No topscone but we enjoyed our visit nevertheless. Falkland is a wonderful village that still looks as if it belongs to a bygone era.

Anyone for …?

We did consider going for a game on the oldest tennis court in the world … first played on in 1539. It’s within the Palace and takes the form of Royal tennis … one of only forty such courts in existence. Not something that Andy Murray would recognise and difficult after a large scone. We just went home.

Free scone

We are sponsoring a free scone at the Covenanter Hotel for anyone who can predict what will happen in the next week of British politics. Answers on a postcard … no time wasters!

KY15 7BU      tel: 01337 857163      Covenanter

///haggling.cycled.vesting

ps Many thanks to our Canada correspondents who sent us this photo of a Falkirk K6 outside the Mad Hatter pub in Orangeville, Ontario. K6 outside Mad Hatter pub in Orangevill, Ontario

///count.zoomed.violist

 

The Canny Soul

All hail Lady Hale. She has shown our Prime Minister to be an absolute bounder.  Some think her large spider brooch, was worn to illustrate what a tangled web we weave, however, she has unwittingly launched a whole new fashion movement. Who’d have thought they would have sold 5000 t-shirts sporting her brooch design within hours of it appearing?

Quite a month

Anyway, September has been quite a month for the UK. The Queen has been found to have meddled in the Scottish independence referendum of 2014. Much has been made in the press of the Palace’s disquiet at this being made public by David Cameron. Not a mention, however, of the disquiet of the people of Scotland who have known the Queen was set up for the past five years.

Dysfunctional

Now she’s embroiled in BoJo’s deceit over the prorogation of Parliament. Bad enough having a dysfunctional family to deal with, now she has a load of dysfunctional politicians as well. Who would be a Royal?

Internal view of the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsThe lesson we have taken from the Supreme Court’s ruling is that doing things unlawfully is okay. Pat and I have decided to start mugging people in an effort to enhance our meagre pensions. Yes, we know it’s unlawful but what the hell? If it’s good enough for Boris, surely it’s good enough for us too. St Andrews seemed like a good place to start. Lots of wealthy folk and stacks of American tourists.  Of course St Andrews is a university town (2nd best after Cambridge) so it’s brimming with students. We knew that there would be slim pickings mugging them … too poor and too fit. It would be the easiest thing in the world for them to run away from us.

Sign for the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsNo, we really needed to find people with walking sticks, or zimmers, preferably. Spotting likely victims is harder than you might think, however. After a while we were tired and found ourselves standing outside the Canny Soul café. We ended up not mugging anyone or, indeed, doing anything unlawful and going for a scone instead. Is that a huge collective sigh of relief we can hear? However, had we been caught mugging someone we would simply have explained that we disagreed it was unlawful. It works for Boris!

Definition of a Canny Soul

It turns out there is more to this place than meets the eye because, on the face of it, it’s not much to look at. Apparently a “canny soul” is someone who is: “neither above you or below you but is always by your side”. It’s a kind of lifestyle choice.

Picture of Marilyn Munro at the Canny Soul café in St Andrews
Marilyn Munro

One that was borne out by the place itself. All the staff were very happy and obliging. We’re not sure if this picture, which was prominent in the café, is of a “canny soul” but if Boris can learn to simper like this then he will probably get away with even more than he’s getting away with at the moment.

Sucking up

Everything we had was fine, however, our scones did not quite cut it. They seemed a wee bit tasteless. A scone at the Canny Soul café in St AndrewsNo topscone but the friendly atmosphere in the Canny Soul more than made up for it. They were indeed, canny souls. During some banter when we were leaving I complimented the middle aged owner on his youthful energy. He looked at me and said “ you have aged like a bottle of fine wine, I have aged like a bottle of milk!” Ten out of ten for observation … and sucking up to customers! Perhaps Boris should do a bit more sucking up rather than simply blustering blindly towards a no deal Brexit. He might even consider becoming a canny soul … or have we taken that too far?

The government has had to spend £billions repatriating holiday makers  after Thomas Cook’s  collapse and now Trump is being impeached. The world has gone mad … or madder! We still had a very enjoyable time in St Andrews however.

KY16 9QW     tel: 07712 423386       The Canny Soul TA

///liberated.rejoined.slept