Category Archives: Ordinary

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Alianti Bonne Bouche

11th August 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

You can probably tell that with a highfalutin name like Alianti Bonne Bouche that we are not in Scotland any more. We’re in London imposing on family. Even down here though the name is a bit confusing! Bonne Bouche kind of means ‘tasty bite’. We can go with that but Alianti is Italian for ‘gliders’ … no comprendes!

Confusion

Actually this place is confusing and it’s not just the name. There are no toilet or hand washing facilities and in our old fashioned naive kind of way we thought that that wasn’t allowed these days. An enquiry about these facilities elicits a brusque “don’t have any” from the unsurprisingly surly and cross legged staff. Things were not getting off to the best of starts. There were two scones on the counter and that was it. She said “we don’t have cream but there’s strawberry jam. Would we like that?” Rather than just have a dry scone we replied in the affirmative. Then she added “There’s butter as well. Would we like that?” Boy, they really know how to show people a good time down here! To be fair, she did offer to toast the scones which was great because they looked at least a couple of days old.

External view of Alianti in Richmond — Paved Court leads to Ted Lasso’s flat and the pub used in the TV series

On the upside, it was a lovely day so we sat out in Paved Court which isn’t a ‘court’, more a narrow little lane that runs down the side of the cafe. Is there no end to the confusion? From a sconological point of view, suffice to say that this experience was just a whisker short of catastrophic. The coffee was nice but other than that there was nothing to commend it. If we were ever to return they would have to drop the ‘bonne bouche’ and have a large illuminated sign advertising their brand spanking new toilets. We are not holding our breath!.

She asked!

Our sojourn at Alianti was actually very enjoyable. Nothing to do with the fare we are served but a lot to do with the two ladies sitting at the next table. They were great fun! One was from Germany but had spent most of her life in the US. She was keen to know why Scotland wanted to separate from England. So many reasons … where to start?

Internal view of Alianti in Richmond — Interior of Alianti

Norway has just published that they expect to get £120 billion in tax revenues from North Sea oil in 2023. Scotland has the same amount of oil but gets nothing … it all goes to Westminster. They then waste it on vanity projects in London. Then there’s the lies. Not little porky pie type lies but great big humungous lies. Obviously not big enough to embarrass Boris Johnson, no lies are that big but big nevertheless!

In 2014 we had the referendum on Scottish independence. We were told then that there was only a dribble of oil left. Hardly enough to last the year. Never mind the green issues, a couple of weeks ago Rishi Sunak issued 100 brand new drilling licences with hundreds more to follow. There’s loads of oil! In 2014 we were told that the only way Scotland could stay in the EU was to stick with England. Two years later Brexit ensured that Scotland was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the EU.

Two Carron K6s with Ted Lasso's pub in the background — At the other end of Paved Court, two cast iron telephone kiosks made in Falkirk with Ted Lasso’s pub in the background,

Also, never mind that Scotland has a devolved government that wants independence or that almost all the Westminster MPs who represent Scotland also want independence, it doesn’t make the slightest difference. All the important powers are retained by England. We could have gone on: the BBC, monarchy, land ownership, the Barnett formula but by this time she was wishing she had never asked!

Morality?

Economics are all well and good but for us it’s simply a moral question. Why should one country be able to deny another country the right to determine its own future. It’s equivalent to Canada having to ask permissions from the US. Canadians would tolerate that for slightly less than a split nanosecond!

We bade farewell to our new enlightened friends and headed off in search of a real bonne bouche!

TW9 1NF tel: 020 8332 2001 Alianti

///saying.sport.manliness

Ordinary, Scones

Big Red Barn

28th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 10 Comments

It’s not often we are in Elsrickle. In fact we had never heard of it until we were driving along the A721 and saw a big red barn and a cafe sign. It’s at the southern end of the Pentland Hills outside Edinburgh.

The café itself is off the road and is not situated in the red barn which is actually just a barn. It’s about 100 yards away from it. In this lovely open countryside, we can only imagine that the barn is a bit of a landmark and they just tell people to keep going until they see the Big Red Barn. The sign says “foods, goods and woods” and there’s a reason for that.

Inside there’s a shop selling all sorts of ‘goods’ and a fairly large restaurant area selling ‘foods’. The ‘woods’ stems from the fact that they have 80 acres of woodland with lots of signposted walks to explore.

A gentle breeze

Fruit scones were part of the ‘foods’ so we asked for one to share as well as some tea. Too warm to sit inside so we found a table out in the garden while we waited for our scone. There was a lovely gentle breeze that made the short wait very refreshing. Very soon we had everything we needed. Our scone had plenty of fruit. No cream but plenty of butter and raspberry jam. Not a topscone but enjoyable nevertheless. There’s quite a lot happening here with people coming and going all the time. A pied wagtail and a couple of house sparrows hopped around our table the whole time and apparently deer often come into the garden from the woodland but we didn’t see any.

The Little Red Pie Shed at the Big Red Barn — The Little Red Pie Shed with the Big Red Barn behind

Just beyond where we were sitting we could see a wee shed. My predilection with sheds in general meant that it required further examination. Turned out it was “The Little Red Pie Shed“. It was closed which was probably just as well since I also have a predilection for pies. Beside it is a sheltered area where you could go with your pie to escape the worst of the effects of the fresh air. Hardly necessary these days since we’ve barely seen any rain for months and the sun has been shining continuously.

Priorities

Is this climate change? We’re not sure but over recent years we’ve certainly noticed an increase in summer temperatures and a bit less rainfall. The Big Red Barn is pretty ‘green’ with its biomass generator fed from its own woodland and a wind turbine making it almost self sufficient in energy. Two years ago we had COP26 climate conference held just a few miles from here in Glasgow.

There, almost 200 countries agreed the Glasgow Climate Pact. The whole thing was designed to try and help poor countries worst affected by climate change. The wealthiest countries, however, the ones that created the problem, refused to sign up to anything meaningful. They all informally agreed that aviation was a huge contributor to greenhouse gases but immediately after the conference they all said that returning their aviation industries to pre-pandemic levels was a top priority .. eh? And the public seem happy to go along with it so that they can go off on their holidays to even warmer places than Scotland. Our grandchildren are not going to thank us! It’s a mad world and rather oddly, as we look around the globe at what’s going on, climate change seems like the least of our problems … argh!

Here’s something even we didn’t know

Did you know that hemp has been grown in Scotland for centuries?Scotland exported cannabis to Jamaica long before it was grown there. Places like Cromarty used to employ 800 people in the hemp industry. Obviously, here it was only used for making sacks! Now it’s being recognised as having great potential in the treatment of Type 2 diabetes and the hemp growers want to expand. The problem is that by the time the growers have filled in all the government’s paperwork to get a licence, the growing season has finished. How very governmental!

ML12 6QZ tel: 01968 682291 Big Red Barn

///shopping.heaven.reinstate

Ordinary, Scones

Café Riva

25th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

Cafe Riva at Inverkip Marina takes its name from the classic Riva Aquarama speedboat which although it went out of production in 1999 is still much sought after by the rich and famous.. My experiences on the ocean wave, however, weren’t nearly so high powered or spritely!

Love, hate

Being here is a bit of a nostalgia trip. For quite a few years I would be leaving from here on a 34ft Westerly Falcon called Brizo. Six knots was the maximum speed and we didn’t hit that very often. Having said that, we did once manage an exhilarating 14 knots but only with the help of the infamous Corryvreckan whirlpool. The boat was owned by a syndicate, all of whom lived down south. Being the only relatively local person, I was called upon every other weekend to crew with whichever member of the syndicate’s turn it was to have the boat. With seven berths there were many happy adventures exploring the coastlines of Scotland and Ireland. For me personally it was a love hate relationship. I was always fine on board until we left the marina whereupon I would promptly be sick … never ever found my sea legs!

Always worth it in the end though. Some great trips as far as Orkney and St Kilda in some fantastic company.

Closing time

The marina has got bigger since these days and Café Riva is one of the new additions. We had the misfortune to arrive fifteen minutes before closing. The tables and chairs were already being taken in. Somewhat grudgingly they agreed to provide us with a scone and some tea. The fact that we couldn’t sit inside wasn’t a problem since the day was a bit cloudy but lovely and warm. Our tea and scone was plonked on our table without ceremony. The scone in a paper bag and the tea in cardboard cups. By now, you have probably guessed that this was never going to be a topscone. But we enjoyed sitting there watching the rest of the tables and chairs disappearing inside.

Nightmares

In our previous post from Helensbank we mentioned the plight of the five people stuck in a mini-submarine near the wreck of the Titanic. Barak Obama rightly questioned the wall to wall media coverage it was getting. Of course, we now know it resulted in the sad loss of all five lives. Obama was comparing it to the comparatively scant coverage given to the loss of 700 lives in a fishing boat off the coast of Italy. Both were tragedies for everyone involved. We think, however, the uneven coverage was probably due to a basic human condition. Being trapped in a cold dark place for days on end simply waiting for your oxygen to run out relates to peoples most base fears … the stuff of nightmares. The Mediterranean tragedy wasn’t relatable in quite the same way.

Just outside Café Riva was this intriguing sculpture which we could also relate to. On the little plaque it said “Sometimes We Get It Right”

Promising signs .. or not?

Elsewhere, part of Russia’s army, the infamous Wagner Group seems to be in a state of mutiny. However, they probably haven’t fully reckoned in dealing with a duplicitous Moscow. Similarly Humza Yousaf, First Minister of Scotland, has just published his road map to Scottish Independence. However, we think he probably hasn’t fully reckoned with the duplicitous parcel of rogues at Westminster.

PA16 0AW tel: 01475 789850 Café Riva

///equality.brisk.roofs

Ordinary, Scones

The Riverside

17th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 9 Comments

We’re at the Riverside today because we are following Forth Valley Artbeat trail which is a kind of open house for local artists. It happens for one week every year. First we went to see Archie Scott at his woodturning studio in Bannockburn.We bought this beautiful little bowl which he had made out of rotten wood. Actually, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Once the tree has died fungi colonise the wood and extract nutrients from it, leaving behind dark lined patterns. The process is called spalting and our bowl is made of spalted beech wood. Archie was a lovely guy and spent ages with us explaining everything he does, it was absolutely fascinating

Harry

After our woodturning experience we carried on to Dunblane where there were more studios to visit. Before that, of course some lunch was called for and that’s how we ended up here at the Riverside. Originally it was the Stirling Arms built in1770. Robert Burns stayed here in 1787and wrote the poem ‘My Harry Was A Gallant Gay‘, It’s about HIghland Harry’s association with the local laird’s daughter, Jeannie Gordon. Nowadays, however, with Harry, Duke of Suffolk’s ongoing legal battles, we think the title might be problematic.

Pat and I usually share almost everything. Today however we are taking it a stage further and splitting everything three ways with one of our neighbours who had come with us. To stretch the tolerance of the Riverside even further we decided to do a three way split on two scones … their last fruit scone and a plain one. The staff were very understanding … everything we got came with three plates.

It was a very hot day so we sat outside on the balcony overlooking the the river, the Allan Water. Thank goodness there was a large canopy to provide shade.

The scones were quite big and came with jam and the ubiquitous Roddas Cornish clotted cream. They were very enjoyable but half way through I decided to top up my tea from the teapot. I forgot to use the strainer which was right in front of me and ended up with lots of tealeaves in my cup. Our neighbour immediately sprang into action offering to ‘read my leaves’. Goodness, we’ve been neighbours for over forty years and we had no idea she was into tasseography. Just when you thought you knew someone!

It’s all in the detail

Apparently, I am going on a long journey over water amongst many other things. She was having difficulty, however, with detail because the tealeaves were too big. Turns out the tea supplier also provides Riverside with our favourite coffee. We have reported the matter and they have promised to get scissors and cut each leaf in half. Perhaps it was fortuitous that more detail was not forthcoming. Anyway, although our scones were lovely they weren’t topscones. But if you are looking for somewhere to chill in lovely surroundings and with good food and good service, look no further than the Riverside.

Fun guys

A few yards further up the High Street from Riverside is Balhaldie House where Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed as he led his army south in his bid to regain the throne for his dad. Six months later the Duke of Cumberland was riding past Balhaldie in hot pursuit of the retreating Prince. A pot of boiling oil was thrown from an upstairs window at Balhaldie by a serving lass who had taken a wee fancy to the bonnie Prince. The Duke fell off his horse but no one was seriously hurt. It does show, however, that you can’t be too careful when you make more than political enemies. Just ask Boris Johnson or Donald Trump. Perhaps they should consider a stay at the nearby Dunblane’s Hydro Hotel. The medicinal baths are supposed to calm the nerves of the “worried well”.

FK15 0AA. tel: 01786 823318 The Riverside

///quit.generated.comical

Ordinary, Scones

Aroma Café

14th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com

You all know what it’s like, don’t you? You are in a restaurant having afternoon tea and when you go to settle the bill, they say “That’s okay, it’s all paid for!” Well maybe not, but that’s what happened to us here at the Aroma Café in Biggar. A friend had sent us a card when we were celebrating our recent wedding anniversary saying he had booked an afternoon tea for us in this café. He was our best man fifty years ago but he has a well deserved reputation for being uncontactable and just a bit random. We weren’t too sure what was booked and what wasn’t. Anyway, hurrah for best men, we love them!

Becky was then looking after us and she was great. Our afternoon tea was in front of us almost immediately. What a lot there was! The plates were groaning with goodies! Sausage rolls, quiches, various sandwiches, loads of cakes and, of course, plain as well as fruit scones. We knew right away that we would be defeated by this feast. And so it was!

We munched our way through most of the bottom layer but when it came to the scones we had to share one. They were big! We have nothing against big scones, per se, but we do think that they should be relatively small when part of an afternoon tea. Makes sense don’t you think? Anyway, by the time we finished we felt pleasantly stuffed. Thoroughly enjoyed our visit to Aroma Café and made a mental note to revisit this part of the world sometime soon.

Days gone bye

I used to come to Biggar quite a lot when I was Secretary of the STOWA (Scottish Tug-of-War Association) for many years. At that time the world tug-of-war champions at 640kgs (Tinto TOWC) were from here. Now, apparently the local ladies team has just qualified for the upcoming Royal Highland Show Young Farmers competition. An event that Pat and I used to judge. Good to hear that the sport is still alive and well in the area.

Biggar is set amidst beautiful rolling countryside and still maintains that old market town feel. The town’s slogan encapsulates a slightly independent and defiant air.

“New York is big, but this is Biggar”

After we left Aroma Café we walked along the High Street but it was so hot that we eventually gave up and retreated to the aircon comfort of the car for a leisurely drive home.

A lane in Biggar — A typical little lane off the High Street

Do we care?

While we have been having afternoon tea it has all been going on! Boris and Rishi have fallen out big time about Boris’s Honours List. A huge Parliamentary investigation has found, surprise, surprise, that Boris is a stranger to the truth. The good news is that Boris has also resigned as an MP. Also Donald Trump was arrested and appeared in court in Miami. Here in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, former First Minister was also arrested then released. Silvio Berlusconi died. Manchester City FC won some stuff and Novak Djokovic has won even more stuff. Do the good folks of Biggar care about any of this? We suspect not.

ML12 6DH tel: 01899 220009 Aroma Café TA

///respect.eager.challenge

Ordinary, Scones

Brig o’ Turk Tearoom

7th June 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

In the past, whenever we have been here in this part of the Trossachs, the Brig o’ Turk Tearoom has been closed. Today we seem to be retracing events of 1973 when we got married in a Glasgow registry office before driving in HAL, our trusty Citroen Dyane, to the village of Strathyre for our reception.

As we drove over the Duke’s Pass with its multiplicity of hairpin bends we marvelled at the fact that we ever made it to Strathyre. With four of us in the car it must have taken all of HAL’s 602cc to power us up these inclines (he was named after the computer that had a mind of its own in 2001, Space Odyssey). In terms of performance HAL, with a following wind, could do 0-60mph slightly faster than it takes to soft boil an egg. We loved HAL dearly and were very sad when we eventually had to go our separate ways.

Today we are in another French car but much more powerful … no need to take account of the wind direction. We descended the other side of the Pass and were treated to fabulous views of Ben A’an and the surrounding hills. We felt we were very lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the world. And as if to confirm that thought, when we reached the tiny hamlet of Brig o’ Turk, the tearoom was open … lucky, lucky, lucky!

Salacious

Externally it looks like a big green shed but it’s a big green shed that’s been here for 100 years. It first opened its doors in 1923 and it’s been fairly eventful. The tearoom was used as a set in the remake of the film “the 39 Steps”. Brig o’ Turk was also the setting for a famous love triangle. It was between the much celebrated writer, artist and philosopher, John Ruskin, his wife Effie Gray and John Everett Millais. The affair has been made into a Netflix film “Effie Gray“. If you want more detail you should watch it. The story is much too salacious to be recounted on an erudite, genteel scone blog such as this.

Veggie

Internally it looks quite pleasant but still rather shed like. We were going to be eating again later so for now we just wanted tea and a scone. It’s one of these places which is enthusiastically vegatarian. They are determined that you will leave healthier than when you came in. They pride themselves on their local produce … even the menu is limited until their vegetable garden starts to produce. Why then is their Meadow Churn butter not local and from the Iceland supermarket? Of course, there was no cream so just the scone with the butter and some jam. It was all rather nice though and we were happy that we had managed to visit the tearoom at long last.

Just a few hundred yards from the tearoom lies the bicycle tree. A young man going off to fight in WWI left his bike lying against the tree. It either says something for the honesty of the neighbourhood or the state of his bike that it wasn’t stolen. He never returned to collect it and the tree slowly grew up round about it. Parts of the bike can still be seen about eight feet up protruding from the trunk. In 2015 it was given protected status. It’s not a threat to anyone competing in the Tour de France although the young man probably died there.

Don’t mess

The Westminster politicians currently messing with the devolution settlement for Scotland should be thankful that they won’t have to deal with Ellen Stewart. She’s a bit of a hero with folks in Brig o’ Turk. In 1650 when Cromwell’s army was blazing a bloody trail across Scotland leaving thousands dead they eventually came to the Trossachs. For safety the locals decided to place their women and children on an island on Loch Katrine. However, when an English soldier decided to swim out and capture their boat he hadn’t reckoned with the women folk in these parts. As he clambered up the rocks on the beach Ellen promptly chopped his head off with a sword. Don’t mess with the Scots … especially the women!

FK17 8HT Tel: 01877 376283 Brig o’ Turk Tearoom

///crispy.shallower.lashed

ps: the other day, friends invited us round to their house for an afternoon catchup and some nibbles. The nibbles, of course, turned out to be scones.

Half were plain and the other half were fruit. Gently warmed by the sun, lots of jam and cream and the company of good friends … lucky, lucky, lucky again!

pps: recently I was lamenting to a Texan singer/songwriter friend that the older I got the less I seem to understand. She replied that knowing how little you know is in itself, wisdom. Okay, it was never in doubt but I would just like readers to know that although I don’t know anything, I am wise!

Ordinary, Scones

Island Café

10th May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

When the “Lord Of The Isles” docked at Arinagour, the capital of the Isle of Coll, the hotel came to meet us. Although it’s less than a mile from the harbour, with our backpacks and general state of decrepitude, the lift was very welcome. Already we had a good feeling that this was going to be a friendly and welcoming place. On the way we passed the Island Café and made a mental note for the following day.

Downtown Arinagour with the Island Cafe to the right of the row of white houses

Because the island is only 12×3 miles we hadn’t brought our car. The hotel had bikes that you could just help yourself to so that was to be our mode of transport. We had forgotten, however, that a day on a strange bike when you haven’t been on one for years can result in some painful experiences. We decided that we would go towards the airport (flights twice a day to the mainland) at the west end of the island. John, the island postman kept passing us in his wee red van. He, of course, was doing deliveries left and right of the main road so we were kind of leap frogging. Everyone waves here as well … even if you are just walking.

After a few miles of fairly gradual but consistent uphill we reached Acha Mill. John was there too! The road from here seemed to descend quite steeply and obviously, since there is only one road, this would mean a lengthy uphill struggle on the return journey. Oh to be young again! And by this time our bums and pretty much everything else were protesting. As we pondered what to do, as if by some miracle, we remembered the Island Cafe.

Heading back for a scone

Persuasion

We deposited our bikes back in the shed behind the hotel and set off for the cafe … stiffly. We had only gone a few yards when we came on a mysterious black shed. You’ll never guess! It turned out to be a distillery. A very enthusiastic gent insisted that we try their full compliment of gins and vodka. It would have been rude not to so by the time we actually reached the Island Café we were already feeling much better.

Inside the cafe was quite busy so we opted to sit outside in the sunshine. Still feeling the effects of our over indulged hotel breakfast we decided a scone to share would be plenty. It was really nicely presented with a little china tray thingy holding the jam and cream. As we sat looking out onto Loch Eatharna thinking how lucky we were John the postman appeared again. Everything was locally made and quite delicious. The scone itself was very close to being a topscone but not quite … shame!

You can tell it any way you like

Apparently, one day, three clergy men, one Church of Scotland, one Free Church and one Catholic priest, were out fishing on Loch Eatherna. The Church of Scotland minister at one point got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore and brought back some provisions. Before long the Free Church minister did the same. Eventually the Catholic priest thought he should give it a try however he immediately sank to the bottom. His colleagues hauled him back on board but he insisted on trying again, As they hauled him out the second time his saviours turned to each other and said “Do you thing we should show him where the stepping stones are?”

Internal view of the Island Café — the lounge at the Island Café

Speaking of clergy, it turned out that one of the chaps at the next table used to be a preacher on Coll and Tiree. Somewhat oddly he now works in the “fraud squad” for a large accountancy firm and was just back here on holiday. What’s more it turned out that they were both friendly with one of my old staff when I worked for Glasgow University. The previous night we had met someone who was friends with one of my staff when I worked for Edinburgh University. How weird is that? Coll of all places!

They told us that earlier they had ordered langoustine along at the pier and that they would have to collect them later. Just then, Andrew the fisherman, arrived delivering langoustines to the cafe. He told our new friends to stay where they were and he would bring the langoustines to them. A few minutes later Rachel, Andrew’s wife, appeared bearing their dinner for that evening. She was absolutely charming and spent some time explaining all about langoustine. We’re pretty sure you only get this kind of service in the Hebrides.

Perspectives

Even though the cost of living is a bit higher on Coll due to its isolation the population has increased by more than 60% in recent times. We can easily understand why. After a very short time here you have forgotten about all the problems of the world. And time itself just doesn’t seem to matter at all. Also, it seems like we have got to know almost everyone on the island. There goes John again in his wee red van.

Later, just before dinner, I was lying on the bed listening to Pat giving a running commentary on nothing happening. She was at the window with her binoculars. “I think that sparrow has a nest in that bush beside the helipad“. And “you know that wee red boat on the other side of loch …. it’s moved“. And “one of the seals has gone back in the water“. Excitedly “John’s just gone up that road beside the cafe“. Fantastic, could listen to it all night! I would have one of my usual rants but just can’t be bothered … tomorrow?

PA78 6SY tel: 01879 230022 Island Cafe

///dwelled.earplugs.dripped

Ordinary, Scones

Food From Argyll At The Pier

8th May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

Whoever thought of calling this place Food From Argyll At The Pier should really think again. Okay, it does food from Argyll and it is at the pier here in Oban … but still? Oban always strikes us an odd kind of place. Sometimes we wonder if anyone actually stays here? Everyone seems to be just visiting or in transit going somewhere else. Of course, we are one of them. This is the “Gateway to the Western Isles” and we are here to catch a ferry to the Isle of Coll.

Surprise

We’re early, so with time to kill, a scone seemed like the obvious answer to while away an hour. This cafe is part of the terminal building and from here we could watch for our ferry arriving.

The cafe is a fairly utilitarian but then, you don’t really expect anything else in ferry terminals. Not being particularly hungry we chose two teas and a fruit scone to share. No cream so butter and jam would have to do. Very soon it arrived at our table along with our tea in paper cups. Surprise, surprise, the scone came fully loaded and when we say jam, we mean lots of it. We had to get extra paper cups because a single was too hot to lift.

Not ideal by any means but that’s just the way they do it here. Not the greatest scone we’ve ever had but not the worst either. Didn’t get anywhere near being a topscone. It did kill the time we had to wait, however, and before long we were being called to board the “Lord Of The Isles”. As a varied assortment of humanity shuffled up the gangway we wondered why they are all going to Coll but, of course, they were probably wondering exactly the same about us.

Dancing ships

As we cast off, our “Lord of The Isles” seemed to get involved with a couple of others, the “Coruisk” and the “Isle of Mull” that were just arriving. However, in what seemed like an expert piece of choreography we are soon clear of the congestion and on our way. Two and a half hours and we would be on the Isle of Coll, yeah!

Voyaging

As we set off on our mini voyage we’re thinking of Australia’s entry by Voyager in Eurovision next weekend. After all the song contest may seem relatively sane after the absurdity of the Coronation. Having the tattered remnants of Take That as the headliners at the Coronation Concert last night kind of summed it all up perfectly.

PA34 4DB tel: 01631 563636 Food from Argyll FB

///alarming.snapping.tomato

Ordinary, Scones

The Station Coffee Shop

1st May 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

Okay, we see all your perplexed expressions asking how come we’ve ended up in the the Station Coffee Shop in Aberfoyle when there isn’t even a railway there? And well you might ask, although of all the things featured in this post that might be the least mysterious and the easiest to answer.

The simple answer, of course, is that at one time the Strathendrick and Aberfoyle railway which ran from Glasgow ended here. It was supposed to go on to Crianlarich but, would you believe it, this was as far as the funding would take it. Funding problems are not new! It opened in 1866 and ran until 1951 so although we regularly visit the village we have never known it to have a station. Now the station building has become the Station Coffee Shop.

But that’s not why we are in Aberfoyle! That’s a bit of a mystery as well and the people responsible are our Devon correspondents. We haven’t seen them for four years but they came to visit us in Falkirk on their way to the Scottish Taiko Drumming Festival … in Aberfoyle! One of them actually does taiko back home in Talaton hence the big trek north. Bear in mind that Devon is a cream first place when it comes to scones so it’s hardly surprising that they might be into ancient Japanese drumming as well!

This was Scotlands first ever Taiko festival. An opportunity not to be missed to see Kenny Endo, an American musician and taiko master. When it comes to taiko our ignorance can only be described as complete and profound. Did we want to learn? Mysteriously, we ended up buying tickets for his concert at Killearn Village Hall in the evening.

Taiko stuff

Anyway, it’s customary to start every taiko festival with a scone. Apologies, that’s not true, we are just trying to justify ourselves. There was lots of taiko stuff going on across the road in the Forth Inn but it was all for people wanting tuition. We just wanted a scone hence we are here tucking into a rather handsome fruit scone. To be honest it didn’t look that promising but turned out to be very good. It had a rather strange but not at all unpleasant texture and loads of fruit. The cream came in a jar labeled ‘English’, not advisable perhaps in a week starting with the theft of Scotland’s Stone of Destiny yet again. More of that later.

Never too old to learn!

After a walk round Aberfoyle we headed for dinner to the next village and one our favourite pubs … the Black Bull in Gartmore. The railway used to run through Gartmore as well so there must have been a station here too. No evidence of it today! You may remember that we stayed at the Black Bull when we visited the nearby Devil’s Pulpit.

After a lovely meal it was time to head off to yet another village, Killearn, for the concert. The Village Hall here is a very plush affair and during the day has a lovely cafe called the Kitchen Window. When we got there the hall was packed, presumably with other taiko officianados like ourselves? Unfortunately the stage was far too small to accommodate all the drums so they had to spill over onto the main floor. Pride of place, however, went to a very impressive drum that apparently was made from a single 300 year old tree. It’s called a wadaiko and, rather appropriately, the wooden sticks are known as bachi. See, we do learn!

Once everyone had settled, a hush fell over the hall as Kenny and his troupe of about ten players entered. We had been told it would be loud … it’s loud! Even sitting at the back of the hall you could feel the vibrations through your body. Kenny Endo in action

At first, it seems like a lot of very loud random drum bashing but very quickly you come to realise how disciplined it is. Every ‘bash’ is coordinated with all the other players and once your ear becomes accustomed it is all rather wonderful. A great experience. Many thanks to J&N.

Escape

The last mystery for this post is the coronation. Why? Turns out less than 30% of Scotland are in favour of the monarchy and they are nearly all octogenarians. We were hoping to escape the proceedings on a Hebridean island without any televisions. That plan, however, has become a victim of circumstance so it will be difficult for us, and indeed anyone, to miss the 24hr obsequious coverage.

As Charlie places his fundament on Scotland’s Stone of Destiny people in the street outside who simply utter a single word of criticism will be promptly arrested and, who knows, may never be seen again. We are all supposed to swear an oath of allegiance to Charlie while sitting on our sofas. What planet are his advisers on? The most ridiculous and expensive fancy dress party designed solely to cement the top tier of society in what they regard as their rightful places. Instead of angelic choristers we can only hope that Kenny Endo will be doing the music. At least some of the nonsense being spouted by Archbishops in even weirder hats than Charles, would be drowned out. We’re also being invited to say “God Save The King“. Forgetting of course that, if there was a God, he/she/it would thoroughly disapprove of the entire spectacle.

BREAKING: wonder of wonders, Edward, yes that completely talentless nonentity, is to be the brand spanking new Duke of Edinburgh. Individually they are all nice people but why are we allowed to do this to them? After this post we fully expect a knock on the door!

BREAKING BREAKING: Donald Trump has just landed in Scotland. Goodness, this rant could go on forever!

FK8 3UG tel: 01877 389105 The Station

///prank.belt,buildings

Ordinary, Scones

Kingsbarns Distillery

27th April 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

The point of today was to catch up with our Bathurst correspondents. We haven’t seen then since 2019 but they are over from Australia visiting their daughter and her family in St Andrews. This trusty pair have been responsible for much of our sconological knowledge of New South Wales with posts from Myrtle House, the Blue Wren Bush Cafe, Clancy’s Cafe and many more. Typically, they arrived on bikes for our meeting at Rufflets Hotel in Fife.

The Bathurst correspondents at Rufflets Hotel — Rendezvous with our Bathurst correspondents at Rufflets

It was fantastic to find them in good form and catch up on all their news. After a great chat, all too soon, we had to bid them farewell. We decided to try and find nearby Kingsbarns Distillery.

Crest of the Wymss Family — Crest of Clan Wemyss

This is definitely golf country. Thousands of golfers from all over the world make the pilgrimage to St Andrews, where it all started. It’s just seven miles away from Kingsbarns. It was a former golf caddie, Douglas Clement, who realised that golfers also loved the amber nectar but there was no handy distillery for them to visit. He decided that a disused building in Kingsbarns would be ideal. After a shaky start bogged down in financial woes, the Wemyss family (pronounced Weems), who live nearby in Wemyss Castle, came to the rescue. The distillery eventually opened in 2014. Kingsbarns got its name in 1519 when the barns here supplied the royal palaces at Falkland and Crail.

Good deals

When we arrived it was very busy with German and French tourists but it soon settled down when their buses left. The cafe is light and airy and they had scones – plain, fruit and cheese. You could get a bowl of soup packaged with a cheese scone so we went for that. We were going to share the cheese scone and then share a fruit scone with our tea later.

The lady serving us said she would put it through as two soup/ scones because that would be cheaper for us … how thoughtful! We thoroughly enjoyed everything although they don’t have a kitchen so everything has to be brought in from external bakers Fisher & Donaldson in St Andrews.

Doves and pigeons

Not a topscone but it’s great to see yet another new distillery trying to cater to the seemingly insatiable global demand for Scotch. Biggest market last year was France with India not far behind. Third was the US … come on guys, we thought it was “America first”. We did our bit by buying a bottle of Kingsbarns Doocot whisky as well as a bottle of their Darnley’s gin. A ‘doocot’ (part of a building housing doves and pigeons) forms part of the distillery building.

Kingsbarns Golf clubhouse — the back of the clubhouse on Kingsbarns Golf Links

We had been advised to go and visit Kingsbarns beach. Thinking it was simply a matter of walking towards the sea we inadvertently ended up trudging through Kingsbarns Gold Links. It’s a famous course which has hosted many major tournaments … the helipad was a bit of a giveaway! Goodness, if we had known we wouldn’t have bothered with the car! Golf has been played here since 1793 and the 12th hole is a 606 yard monster. I only played golf as a youth. That was because I was too immature to realise it was a huge waste of time. Mind you, much of my golfing career was spent in the bushes looking for my ball.

We did eventually make it to the beach which stretches as far as the eye can see in both directions. However, the weather today was coming in from Greenland and wasn’t too conducive to building sand castles.

Contentment

On the way home we paid a visit to Crail which was as quaint as ever.

People in the Kingdom of Fife are an independent lot and quite content with their lot. Once, when a Fife man was asked if he had ever been abroad, responded with “I once knew a man who had been to Crail“. Maybe we should all try to be a bit more content like that man from Fife and not be surprised when other people from Sudan and elsewhere want to see if they can find contentment.

It has been another great day. We are sooo lucky to live in Scotland with all this stuff on our doorstep! The Doocot is lovely, by the way, light with a hint of pepperiness … a good breakfast whisky, cheers!

KY16 8QE. tel: 01333 451300. Kingsbarns Distillery

///bulky.orders.cuddled

Confusion

She asked!

Morality?

A gentle breeze

Priorities

Here’s something even we didn’t know

Love, hate

Closing time

Nightmares

Promising signs .. or not?

Harry

It’s all in the detail

Fun guys

Days gone bye

Do we care?

Salacious

Veggie

Don’t mess

Persuasion

You can tell it any way you like

Perspectives

Surprise

Dancing ships

Voyaging

Taiko stuff

Never too old to learn!

Escape

Good deals

Doves and pigeons

Contentment

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics