Kinloch Lodge

8th November 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 6 Comments

After leaving Ballachulish we ventured on towards the Isle of Skye. It was nice to see snow on the tops of some of the hills, our first snows of the year. However, it never occurred to us that in another half hour the road would be white and we would be driving through a blizzard. Okay, the road at this point was 1300 feet above sea level and as soon as we dropped some height it was fine again. Nevertheless, snow was unexpected and quite exciting.

Stokers from down under

We had aimed to arrive at our destination, Kinloch Lodge, in early afternoon because they had offered tea and scones on arrival. It had to be early afternoon so that we had an appetite for dinner in the evening. These are the sort of decisions we are forced to make these days! True to their word, before we had even seen our room, we were ushered into one of the drawing rooms and sat in front of a lovely log fire.

Originally built in 1676 as a farmhouse, all the public rooms have log fires expertly managed by the staff. Amazingly, quite a few of the staff hailed from the Gold Coast of Australia. Not quite sure how they found their way here but they all seemed to be thoroughly enjoying their time on Skye.

One of our daughters was here at Kinloch with her family a couple of years ago and has heaped praise on it ever since. We were beginning to see why!

The scones arrived beautifully presented complete with sparkling white linen napkins. Just as you might expect in a place like this. And just as you might expect they were topscones. Perfect size, lovely and warm and complete with lots of jam and cream. What was not to like? In our younger days on Skye we normally camped and have experienced everything Skye weather could throw at us. Now, many years later it was great to be back in such comfortable surroundings. We’re getting soft!

View from Kinloch Lodge — From Kinloch over Loch na Dal and the Sound of Sleat towards the hills of Knoydart

Clans

My lineage makes me feel right at home here. My middle name is MacDonald and my mother’s name was McKinnon, both good Skye names. Isabella MacDonald, daughter of Godfrey Macdonald, the 35^th High Chief of his clan runs Kinloch today, She can trace her family back to the 9th century. When her her parents set up Kinloch in 1972 their ambition was to create a place that had everything they could possibly want in a hotel: comfy beds, endless hot water, warm and attentive service and, above all, delicious food. Mission accomplished we would say.

Dining room of Kinloch Lodge dining room — Lots of MacDonald family portraits hanging in the dining room

To top off clan connections Isabella is very ably assisted by the delightful Rachel McKinnon. My brother once visited a graveyard on the Waternish peninsula on Skye to try and shed more light on our mother’s side of the family. All for nothing, however, lots of headstones but almost all were McKinnon.

The MacDonald boys Sir James Macdonald 1741–66 and Sir Alexander Macdonald 1744/45–95 wearing four different tartans when wearing tartan was forbidden. Apparently the MacDonalds were above any law imposed by the English Crown! Picture by William Mosman

Wasn’t it obvious?

At the ongoing COVID enquiry Simon Case, Head of the Civil Service was giving evidence. He said of Boris Johnson’s government that he had “never seen a bunch of people less well-equipped to run a country“. Surely we all knew that?

Yesterday saw the state opening of Parliament. Anyone tuning in from abroad must have thought they had accidentally hit a Disney channel. That degree of pomp looks totally ridiculous and inappropriate for a country heading towards recession. The spectacle of the King in fancy dress reading out statements even he doesn’t believe in doesn’t help either. Mind you, who are we to criticise anyone? Sitting here sipping whisky in front of the fire in the bar after a superb dinner.

Internal view of Kinloch Lodge bar — The bar

IV43 8QY tel: 01471 833333 Kinloch Lodge

///smudges.altering.spud

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Green Welly Stop

6th November 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

We’re off on a bit of a road trip! The idea is to make it to the Isle of Skye. Haven’t been there in a long long time so we’re excited at the prospect of visiting old haunts. However, unable to leave until mid afternoon the distance was going to be too much to reach our destination before dark. We are almost nostalgic for the days of just a few months ago when you could still drive around in daylight at 11pm. Now it’s dark about 4.30pm … boo!

The solution was to stop off about half way at Ballachulish Hotel. And half way to there is the Green Welly Stop where we took a break from driving after an hour or so. We are very aware that our Aussie readers are scratching their heads in. disbelief wondering why on earth we need a break so soon. Okay, Scottish roads are small and winding, there’s a lot of traffic and, most persuasively, our aging bladders leave us no option.

Locusts

When we used to hitchhike to Glencoe every weekend many of our lifts would turn off here in Tyndrum to go to Oban. We had to go straight on so we would get dropped off here at what was just a wee shop with a petrol pump. There was nothing much else in the village. Now, the wee shop has been transmogrified into the Green Welly Stop, a huge supermarket type place selling everything a tourist might conceivably want. It has a huge car park to cater for all the cars, coaches and motor bikes that also stop here. The West Highland Way passes close by, so lots of walkers frequent the place as well. It is extremely busy in the summer months and, of course, it has a cafe/restaurant to cater for people who descend like a plague of locusts and move on just as quickly.

For those not in the know, green wellies (rubber wellington boots) are associated with wealthy upper class people who like to visit the countryside. They wouldn’t be seen dead in anything else. The “green welly brigade” is a term that kind of pokes fun at them. The Green Well Stop, however, is anything but posh. It simply caters for loads of people who are just passing through. And the shop sells wellies in pretty much any colour you want!

We last reviewed this place back in 2015 and it hasn’t changed very much. A fruit scone and some coffee was the order of the day. A bit on the big side for our liking, the jam was extra and there was no cream. That said it was perfectly acceptable and exactly what you would expect from this sort of place.

Golden sunsets

Tyndrum has a gold mine but we couldn’t find anything in the shop made out of local gold. We left and headed on towards Glencoe. We did find local gold, however in the sunset as we started out across the expanse of Rannoch Moor … fab!

Looking from the Black Mount with Loch Tulla to the left

It was fabulous to drive through mountainous Glencoe in the evening light. We just caught the last of it as we arrived for our stop-over at Ballachulish and a catchup with an old friend.

Terrorists?

A trip like this makes you realise how fortunate we are to live in a country like Scotland. Wars and disasters elswhere in the world make us feel even luckier. Israel will eventually learn that eradicating Hamas simply won’t work. Traditionally, Britain has always labeled everyone who disagrees with them, ‘terrorists’. That is until the ‘terrorists’ are eventually proven to be right. Then they are invited for tea with the Queen. Britain tried to eradicate the IRA and although there is peace at the moment, the IRA is still there and always will be until the fundamental problem created by Britain is resolved. It’s the same in the Middle East

FK20 8RY tel: 01838 400271 Green Welly

///conclude.mended.patrolled

ps: our wonderful Utah correspondents have sent us news. It’s about as far away from Utah and Tyndrum as you can get. Recently, they were adventuring in East Grinstead and came across Bench RH19 and this rather delicious looking scone. They are hoping to return next year for more scone adventures … yeah!.

RH19 3AS tel: 01342 322 333 Benchrh19

///flags.many.starts

Scones, Top

Balbirnie House revisited

28th October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

We last visited Balbirnie House back in January when Rishi Sunak was visiting Scotland as Prime Minister for the first time. He was to be Nicola Sturgeon’s fifth Prime Minister, such was the turnover in Tory PM’s. Now she has gone as well but having just passed her driving test at the ripe old age of 53 she seems to be thoroughly enjoying having time to herself again. With an upcoming election Rishi might soon be able to do the same.

He keeps telling us that Britain is leading the world in just about everything. Problem is that, according to a recent report, we are also leading in terms of destitution with 3.8 million people now defined in that way. “Destitution” differs from “poverty” in that it means that people suffering from destitution can no longer afford the basics required to live. Of the 3.8 million, 1 million are children. Normally, destitution results in homelessness. With most of the government consisting of multi-millionaires they won’t have the slightest notion about destitution so they’ll probably just ignore it and hope it goes away.

We offer this bleak assessment of the state of the UK as a backdrop to us wittering on about the joys of lemon curd combined with lemon flavoured scones in a large luxurious country house. We know!

You might wonder why we are back here so soon, after all it’s only been a matter of months. It’s only a short drive from home but the main reason, of course, is that we enjoyed our previous visit and wanted to do again – simple! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they give you a cream tea when you arrive.

Locked in?

Balbirnie was built in 1815. With beautiful grounds, a golf course and 31 bedrooms, all with beds the size of Texas, it’s particularly popular for weddings. It even has its own “padlock fence” where couples can return and attach their own padlock. A bit weird but we think we understand?

Padlock fence at Balbirnie House — If you are all loved up you might use this, obviously Cameron and Catriona were!

Lemons were also grown in orangeries and when our scones arrived they turned out to be lemon scones accompanied with lemon curd and clotted cream. A heady combination which we had never tried before. Pat wasn’t too sure so they supplied her with a little dish of raspberry jam as an alternative. We seldom if ever attach the word ‘tangy’ to a scone tasting but these were delicious and ‘tangy’. There’s a first … and an easy topscone.

Senseless

As if the world doesn’t have enough senseless killing at the moment, there’s been yet another shooting in the US. This one was in Lewiston, Maine with at least eighteen people dead so far. The 565th mass shooting in the US this year. Republicans will doubtless trot out that tired and tattered line “guns don’t kill – people do”. Except, of course, people do find it much much more difficult to kill without guns! C’mon Republicans you can do better than this?

KY7 6NE tel: 01592 610066 Balbirnie House Hotel

///freshest.seats.period

Ordinary, Scones

The Aurrie

24th October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Storm Babet has abated leaving much devastation in its wake. We have come through unscathed and are out and about again. Having said that we got here to the Aurrie in a very round about way. Here’s how!

Miracles do happen

You all know by now that when the days start getting shorter we sometimes go to the cinema after breakfast. Today we had to drop our car off for repair, so the garage drove us to the Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest cinema, to watch The Miracle Club. Set initially in Ireland it’s a heartwarming story about the women of Ballygar going to Lourdes in search of miracle cures. A tad predictable but suffice to say that they find Lourdes a bit of a con. Unsurprisingly no miracles of the God given kind but some minor ones of the human variety. It’s a good watch.

You get a cup of tea and a biscuit at the Hippodrome. It’s called a “cuppa screening”. All too much for a lady seated behind us who snored loudly for a considerable part of the film. Thankfully more a comment on her state of exhaustion rather than the quality of the film. There were a few giggles but no-one woke her. It’s all part of going to the cinema with a load of other retired folk. The garage collected us again and with our car restored and it being a nice day we set off into Fife.

Eventually we ended up in Lower Largo. it’s a pretty little fishing village where Pat used to go on holiday as a teenager. She would come with her best friend by bus and, at the time, although just about fifty miles, it seemed like the other side of the world from Glasgow. That was a fair while ago so she didn’t see much that seemed familiar today. However, what you do notice driving down to the beach is a number of strange sculptures and elaborately carved gates. They’re by local artist Alan Faulds who carves them from solid Scottish oak and decorates them with up to twenty coats of paint and varnish. Presumably to protect them from the salty air.

Service over and above

The Aurrie is housed in what used to be a Baptist church down near the beach. These days it’s a café come gallery and event centre for the local community. It even serves as the cinema. There seemed to be very few customers when we arrived but it was quite busy. Lots of people hanging a new exhibition and setting out craft stalls. It had a great community feel to it, summed up nicely by one of the counter staff. She was sitting at a table with a baby sound asleep on her chest. At least it wasn’t snoring! The baby wasn’t hers, she was just looking after it for one of the women mounting the exhibition. Now that’s service!

Apparently, the Aurrie gets its name from an old Scots word for “area”. It’s applied to the slipway road leading down to the beach. The locals say that there are as many ways to spell it as there are grains of sand on the beach. We counted the grains and can confidently report that that is a slight exaggeration.

Plain as well as spiced apple scones were on offer. It had to be spiced apple! As we sat there with our scone watching everything going on (always interesting watching people deliberating how to hang pictures) we completely forgot to take a photograph of our little spiced apple wonder. Apologies! Suffice to say that it wasn’t topscone material but still very enjoyable. No lessons learned

Having watched The Miracle Club and witnessed community spirit thriving in Lower Largo the total disaster happening in Israel and Gaza seems all the more confusing and sad.

K6 in Lower Largo — Another Alan Faulds piece on top of a K6 telephone box outside the Aurrie

What is noticeable, however, is the one-sided nature of the media coverage. With world leaders lining up, one after the other, in support of Israel it seems as if there is only one side to the story. The whole thing has been sparked by an atrocity launched on a music festival in Israel from Gaza. No-one seems to be asking why they would even think of doing that. As with most of the world’s trouble spots the origins lie with Britain. Past masters at creating countries based on religion. After partitioning Ireland on religious grounds in 1921 you might think that they would have learned from that experience before doing it again in India in 1946 and Palestine 1948? Apparently not!

KY8 6BT The Aurrie

///pounding.tummy.proved

Scones

Pillars of Hercules

20th October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Legend has it that the Pillars of Hercules are supposed to hold the sky away from the earth. Supposedly so that Atlas could escape damnation. Sadly, today we have to report that if Atlas was here in this part of Scotland he would be very damned. The pillars aren’t working! Storm Babet has come raging in from the North Sea like a woman scorned and the sky seems to have collapsed directly onto the earth. Her rage is affecting the whole of the UK but red, ‘Danger to Life’ notices have been issued. Fortunately we are on the southern fringes of the worst affected areas in Aberdeenshire. Nevertheless, when driving it seems as if Babet is just outside the car chucking buckets of water directly at the windscreen. And we could swear we could hear her laughing hysterically! Our valiant little wipers, however, were struggling to cope.

Surprise

Imagine our surprise then when, through all this biblical rain, we could just about make out a large sign saying “this way to the Pillars of Hercules“. Really? Maybe we could help with some maintenance work? Care was needed, however, because Plato allegedly said that the island of Atlantis lay beyond the Pillars of Hercules and the pillars bore a warning ne plus ultra “nothing further beyond“. We needn’t have worried, it turned out that the Pillars of Hercules is a 25 acre organic farm. It has a shop selling their produce and a cafe. We were able to park very close to the door and make a dash for the shelter within..

External view of the Pillars of Hercules — Not cold but definitely not a day for sitting out

Organic

As well as selling their own stuff the large shop sells loads of other stuff, all organic or vegan in nature.

What’s in a name?

It’s an unusual place named in honour of keen neo-classicist Onesiphorus Tyndall Bruce who we last came across when we reviewed the Covenanter Hotel in the nearby village of Falkland. He was the son of slave traders who married into money and ended up owning the whole village in the 1850s. He became keeper of Falkland Palace. Onesiphorus was educated at Eton, where else would he get away with a name like that? We seem to remember him as a bit of a spoiled brat so not sure,150 years later, why he should be commemorated like this! Never mind, the big question was would the cafe have scones?

Fiddly

Yes they did … fruit or cheese! Unfortunately the girl behind the counter may have been called Babet … a face like thunder. She may have just got out of bed on the wrong side but we have seldom experienced such miserable service. Not ‘bad’ service, just miserable. Strange because the service in the shop had been the exact opposite. Never mind, our scone arrived and it was rather good. It had a very crusty crust and the inside was nice and soft with plenty of fruit. The combination of hard crust and soft innards , however, meant it just broke into little bits when we tried to cut it. Picking up the pieces and buttering and jamming them individually was a bit fiddly. If there had been cream and service with just a vague hint of a smile it might even have made a topscone. But there wasn’t so it didn’t.

Eventually we had to leave our cozy little sanctuary with its wood burning stove and face Babet again. Thankfully it had stopped raining but the wind was still blowing a hoolie. Going over the Queensferry Crossing bridge was interesting, Pat never once looked up from her phone.

Winning?

Labour has won two important by-elections at Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire with a massive swing to them from the Conservatives. They are hailing it as a massive breakthrough destined to send Keir Starmer into Downing Street. Perhaps they should bear in mind, however, that if the ballot paper only had two names on it … ‘Conservative’ or ‘Anyone else’, the Conservatives would still have lost.

According to the forecast the pillars holding the sky up aren’t going to be fixed for another couple of days. We’ll just stay home.

KY15 7AD tel: 01337 857749 Pillars of Hercules

///polo.forecast.calendars

Ordinary, Scones

Café Belgica revisited

17th October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

Me on a cherrypicker — That’s me in the cherrypicker bucket

You know how sometimes your day doesn’t quite start the way you expected. That’s what happened this morning. Before I had even had breakfast I found myself dangling high in the air over Falkirk High Street. It’s a long story. But more to the point, how did I get from that situation to Café Belgica in Bo’ness? We should, perhaps, attempt an explanation.

As soon as we came down stairs a friend was waiting at the front door. He wanted to know if I would like to take some photographs from a very unusual and very temporary viewpoint. In short, he’s renovating a building at the end of the High Street and had hired a cherrypicker for an hour to do some work on the roof. Within a matter of minutes I was up there taking pictures from an angle I have never seen before and am probably never likely to see again. Fortunately I had Lee, a very experienced operator with me. For me it was an unusual but great experience! My biggest concern, however, was whether I would get back down in time to go to the cinema which had been our original plan for the morning.

Compassion

Internal view of the Hippodrome — The Hippodrome

No worries, we made it to our local Hippodrome picture palace in time to see a Ken Loach film called ‘The Old Oak‘. It’s a beautifully crafted compassionate movie about a village in northern England where the coal mine has long since closed and the people have next to nothing. The only thing left open is a very dilapidated pub, The Old Oak. It’s the only place for people to meet. When Syrian refugees arrive, however, tensions rise. There are some very ugly scenes but eventually basic human compassion for others who also have nothing wins the day. It should be compulsory viewing for all.

Sliding downhill

When we emerged back into the daylight it was lunchtime and after a short visit to the Bo’ness library we ended up here at Café Belgica which is housed in a huge furniture warehouse. It’s over five years since we were last here and back then we were bemoaning the Winter Olympics. They were being held in South Korea. In particular we were debating the merits of ‘skeleton’ (sliding downhill head first on a sledge) or ‘luge’ (sliding downhill feet first on a sledge). We wondered if there was much more than a handful of people in the world participating in either. The UK was still in the EU at that time and we offered a gold medal to anyone who could keep it that way. Regrettably, of course, we didn’t award any medals!

We had a delicious lunch and afterwards they offered us plain or cheese scones. Having slightly overindulged already it was a cheese scone to share. The service throughout had been cheery and efficient so we soon had our scone. It was presented with lots of butter and jam but we never feel that jam is appropriate for a cheese scone so it was just butter. All in all we thoroughly enjoyed our visit. No topscone but enjoyable nevertheless.

Making sense

Now it seems incredible that we despaired over something as trivial as the Winter Olympics. Today we look out onto a world where there is much more to despair about. Earlier we had seen an fabulous movie about the strength of human spirit and compassion. A couple of weeks ago, we experienced Pat’s McMillan Coffee Morning where people’s generosity and kindness raised £3,500. All to try and make people’s lives a little better. But here we are in 2023 and in Gaza and Ukraine all we see is people deliberately trying to kill each other. It’s bewildering and incredibly sad!

A view along Falkirk High street — Early morning view of Falkirk High street

What makes it even worse is that it’s impossible to see any kind of resolution without a lot more bloodshed. Pathetically, in our comfortable little lives, we cross our fingers!

EH51 0PU tel: 01506 243954 Café Belgica

///begun,learn,afflicted

Ordinary, Scones

Edinburgh Press Club

1st October 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 15 Comments

Forgive us if this post reads like ‘a day in the life of two slightly deranged sconies’, but bear with us. Although we ended up here at the Edinburgh Press Club, that’s not why we were in Edinburgh. Rather we were here to see the newly refurbished Scotch Malt Whisky Society Member’s Room. We have been members here since the beginning of time so after a two month closure we were keen to see what changes had been made.

This was the first day it was open again. Unfortunately they should probably have waited another few days before opening. It was still full of workmen doing last minute fixes. We need to return when the renovations are complete. However, we did manage a very nice lunch and a couple of very nice drams from the Coleburn distillery in Elgin. It has has been closed for almost 40 years so just a little bit special.

At the centre?

On our way back up the centre of Edinburgh we decided to visit the actual centre. Most people think that the centre of the city is on the Royal Mile near St Giles Cathedral but it’s actually just at the top of Leith Walk. It’s a simple cast iron bollard which nobody takes the slightest notice of but it is very important. A fact of which the workmen digging up the road seem to be oblivious. Distance is measured from here. For example, when they say that Falkirk is 28.3 miles from Edinburgh it is actually measured to this bollard. Post codes are also worked out depending on their distance from the bollard.

It could well have been made in Falkirk but unfortunately we couldn’t find any maker’s mark. For bollard enthusiasts it doesn’t get much more exciting than this! We’re sure that if someone were to mention it was lucky to rub the ring on top of the bollard there would be a queue.and the workmen would have to be a bit tidier.

Oysters

Just a stone’s throw from the BOLLARD is the Cafe Royal Oyster Bar and that’s where we ended up next. It’s been here since the 1860s and, amongst many other things, is famous for its large tiled pictures that decorate the walls.

Internal view of the Cafe Royal — the bar of the Cafe Royal with tiled pictures

For us, of course, it’s famous as the rendezvous point for meeting our friends before and after Scotland international rugby matches. The result in these matches never seemed to matter too much, a great time was always guaranteed in the Cafe Royal. We can even remember some of them!

The Scotsman

Anyway, we had a drink for old times sake and moved on towards the Royal Mile. Unexpectedly we came on the Edinburgh Press Club and discovered that they had scones. Told you to bear with us and we get there in the end. It gets it’s name because it used to be the office and print works for ‘The Scotsman’ newspaper.

After our lunch we didn’t need much so yet again it was simply tea and a scone to share. We sat at the window which allowed us to watch the kaleidoscope of people passing by in Cockburn Street. Edinburgh is such a magnet for tourists that it can be great fun just observing the weird and the wonderful. A silent disco passed within a few feet of our window and, unless you know what is going on, you might think that an entire crowd had simultaneously lost their minds.

The original Edinburgh Press Club opened in 1939 as a sort of social club for journalists, writers and dignitaries. The intention was to make Edinburgh the “centre of sweetness and light.” In it’s current premises it harks back to a time of clacking typewriters before anyone had even heard of the internet and even less of “fake news”. We are pretty sure however that newspapers would have printed as much fake news then as they do now.

Fascinating as all this was, we soon had to turn our attention to our scone. Not before time we hear you say! It came with a generous portion of cream and overall it was fine but definitely fell into the ‘ordinary’ category. We never knew this place existed so it’s good just to know it’s there even if the scones aren’t quite up to scratch.

The sound of wealth

Window at Jingling' Geordies — A window in Jinglin’ Geordie

When we left the Press Club to catch our train home we popped into ‘Jinglin’ Geordie’. It’s a pub that used to be a regular haunt in my student days. The Geordie in question was George Heriot a local goldsmith whose pockets were so full of coins that they jingled as he walked, hence the nickname. After he died in 1624, money from his estate was used to build George Heriot’s schools which still bears his name and was the inspiration for Hogwarts, Harry Potter’s school.

After a varied and rather nostalgic day we did eventually get our train back to Falkirk.

EH1 1NY tel: 0131 526 3780 Edinburgh Press Club

///risen.trim.degree

Ordinary, Scones

Allanwater Cafe

26th September 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

You might think that Bridge of Allan is a slightly odd name for a town but it is pretty obvious really. It’s built around the bridge over the river known as the Allan Water. And the Allanwater Cafe is almost built on top of the bridge. Before railways and cars, bridges were super-important. They provided the means of avoiding long and difficult circuitous routes to cross rivers. Nowadays people driving in and out of the town wouldn’t even be aware that they were crossing a bridge and wouldn’t give it a moment’s thought.

Man and horse

Bridge of Allan is a very pleasant place sporting many large mansion houses much favoured by today’s overpaid professional footballers. Its origins, however, were much more humble … mining copper. The mines closed in 1807 but a few years later the local laird discovered that mineral springs were leaking into the mines and decided to make Bridge of Allan a spa town. No flies on these laird types! In 1830 Bridge of Allan was described as “everything a village ought to be: straw roofed cottages, a mill, old inns with entertainment for man and horse, and a row of neat little villas for the fashionable who flock to it in summer.” If it’s good enough for man and horse it should be good enough for us lowly sconeys. There are many cafes and restaurants in the town and we thought we had visited them all … except this one!

Amazingly, it has been run by the Bechelli family dynasty for more than one hundred and twenty years. There are plenty other cafes around. The multinational Costa is directly across the road but has closed permanently. Also across the road is Nairn’s a brand new up market restaurant venture and but it was almost empty. The Allanwater Cafe, on the other hand, was buzzing. The Bechelli dynasty must be doing something right.

It would have been good to sample some of their lunch offerings but we just wanted some coffee and maybe a scone to share.

When we said we wanted to share a scone our waitress said “Yes they are big“!The service was very friendly and helpful … perhaps they were part of the family dynasty. Anyway we soon had everything we needed. The staff seemed to know almost everyone in the place which gave it a very relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Our scone was enjoyable as well but fell short of a topscone.

Dynasties

If the Bechelli family dynasty is getting things right the same does not apply to all such dynasties.

The Paterson Memorial (nothing to do with us) to a local doctor

Surely the best news of the week is media-mogul Rupert Murdoch’s announcement that he is retiring. He has been a malevolent force around the world for far too long and if he and his sordid News Corp organisation were to disappear off the scene tomorrow it would not be a moment too soon. Without his interference Trump would probably never have made it out of the starting blocks and Brexit would never have happened. As with all things Murdoch, however, it is not straight forward. He is handing over the reins to his even more right wing son, Lachlan. It’s just a pity his name so ably demonstrates his Scottish ancestry. Perhaps Lachlan should come to the Allanwater Cafe to see how a dynasty should be run?

FK9 4HN tel: 01786 833060 Allanwater Cafe

///smashes.crowd.formation

Ordinary, Scones

Nosh

21st September 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 3 Comments

It’s a sure sign that summer is coming to an end. Could it be the lower temperatures, the leaves turning, or the days shortening? Well yes, but it’s more that we have started going to the movies after breakfast. We enjoy it. It supports our local picture palace and it feels slightly sinful when you come out and it’s only lunchtime. It also allows us to explore the town of Bo’ness and find places like Nosh, the scene for today’s scone.

Internal view of the Hiipodrome cinema — Inside the Hippodrome

We haven’t been here at the Hippodrome, Scotland’s oldest cinema ,since February when we saw ‘Till’, an excellent movie. This time it was ‘The Innocent‘ a French romcom heist caper about stealing a truck load of caviar. Enjoyable enough although subtitles can be hard work when they go rapidly … why do the French speak so quickly?

In some ways watching a French film in Bo’ness is kind of appropriate. Bo’ness was once one of Scotland’s largest ports and would have traded the black stuff (coal not caviar) with France for many centuries. Scotland was France’s oldest ally since the two countries formed the Auld Alliance in 1295 in an attempt to control England’s many invasions. Trade between the two circumvented England and ports like Bo’ness and Leith thrived. It may also explain why Scotland has always thought of itself as much more European than England.

After the film we ended up here in Nosh, one of the few cafés we haven’t visited in the town. It’s located in a building built in 1750 as a tollbooth.

Overdo plaque at Nosh in Bo'ness — Built in 1750 but who were ‘RB’ and ‘EB’?

It’s more of a takeaway place for sandwiches and the like but it does have a few tables.

On the counter, under a glass dome, were two scones individually wrapped in cling film.

We never think this is a good idea. Scones need to breathe after all and sometimes it means that they might not be entirely fresh. Anyway, we ordered one to share as well as a some coffees. Our scone turned out to be not at all bad but a long way off a topscone.

Obedience

The Prime Minister has single handedly managed to upset almost everyone by announcing that he is rolling back on his commitment to green policies. The date for net zero will now be 2035 instead of 2030. Goodness knows what it will be by the time we reach 2030? Right or wrong it does demonstrate this Tory government’s unswerving dedication to screwing things up. It wouldn’t be so serious if there was a better option waiting in the wings, but there isn’t! The only thing the Labour Party, “the opposition” seems to do is support the Tories. Voters are caught between a rock and a hard place. In Scotland, after one invasion too many by England, we have no say and just do what we are told!

A watercolour of Nosh in Bo'ness — A watercolour of Nosh’s building

Meanwhile King Charles and Queen Camilla are in France trying to thaw out relationships after the disaster of Brexit. Good luck with that!

EH51 0EA tel: 01506 828151 Nosh FB

///taps.dude.something

Ordinary, Scones

Dunimarle Orangery

11th September 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

The last time we were at the Dunimarle Orangery was back in 2021 … and at that time it wasn’t here. The building was here but it wasn’t a tearoom. In the 1830s it was Magdalene Erskine who added the Orangery to the castle presumably so she could grow her own oranges … as you do! We think that Magdalene may have been a force to be reckoned with. In 1853 she married an Admiral Sharpe who she discarded permanently after three days. Goodness, he may have been lacking in certain departments but you would have thought she could have given him a week?

External view of Dunimarle Castle — Dunimarle Castle from the west

Obviously a woman with ambition and a plan as she incorporated his name and became Mrs Sharpe Erskine thereafter. Life is so much easier if you are double-barrelled! Eventually she turned the castle into a museum to house hundreds of objects d’art and fine paintings her brother had ‘acquired’ during the Napoleonic wars. Now, all these artefacts have been transferred to Duff House in Aberdeenshire. Perhaps typically, before she died in 1872, she built an ornate chapel in the grounds for her own funeral. Why not? Oranges would never keep her going for ever!

Good sense

After many years languishing with an uncertain future Dunimarle was recently bought by businessman Salim Mohamed who wants to turn it into his home. At least Salim has had the good sense to open the Orangery as a tearoom. Well done Salim!

Wellintonia avenue at Dunimarle Castle — Avenue of Wellingtonias used to form the main entrance to the castle

When we were last here we bemoaned the fact that there wasn’t a tearoom. To us it seemed like an ideal spot. It’s only a twenty minute drive from home, we had to investigate.

The Orangery itself is nicely set up and very necessary in the event of inclement weather. Today, however, was lovely and warm so we opted to sit out and enjoy the panoramic views over the Firth of Forth.

Complications

Unfortunately, placing a simple order for tea and a single scone to share became strangely complicated. Everyone was very nice but the right hand didn’t quite seem to know what the left hand was doing. Perhaps they just need to settle down with a system. Finally we had everything we needed (except cream) and spent a very pleasant hour just sitting in this wonderful setting with a very pleasant scone. Not quite a topscone but pretty close.

One of the walks at Dunimmarle Castle — A castellated doorway leading to Italianate yew-lined terrace.

Privileged

We have no doubt that when Mrs Sharpe Erskine was around riffraff like us would have been unceremoniously seen off the premises so we felt very privileged to be sitting here in these surroundings. Especially when news from the Moroccan earthquake is of complete villages being reduced to rubble in seconds with thousands of deaths. In Scotland, the village of Comrie, known as “the Shaky Toon” is the epicentre for such events. However, if a plate fell off a shelf in Comrie during a quake it would definitely make headline news. We are privileged indeed.

KY12 8JN tel: 07713 629040. Dunimarle Orangery

///villager.share.reclusive

Scones, history and a dollop of politics

Kinloch Lodge

Stokers from down under

Clans

Wasn’t it obvious?

Green Welly Stop

Locusts

Golden sunsets

Terrorists?

Balbirnie House revisited

Locked in?

Senseless

The Aurrie

Miracles do happen

Service over and above

Pillars of Hercules

Surprise

Organic

What’s in a name?

Fiddly

Winning?

Café Belgica revisited

Compassion

Sliding downhill

Making sense

Edinburgh Press Club

At the centre?

Oysters

The Scotsman

The sound of wealth

Allanwater Cafe

Man and horse

Dynasties

Nosh

Obedience

Dunimarle Orangery

Good sense

Complications

Privileged

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics