Category Archives: self-service

Kitchen Window

2nd March 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Okay, we’re still staying at the Black Bull in Gartmore with our Trossachs correspondents. And, since we are in the Trossachs, we are relying on their local knowledge and expertise to guide us. That’s why you find us here, at the Kitchen Window in Killearn. It’s a beautiful little village, only a ten minute drive from where we are staying. And for some mysterious reason it has completely avoided us in the past. Even stranger, the village lies in the strath (valley) of the River Endrick, Strathendrick and Strathendrick is the name of our house.

landscape of Killearn — View across Strathendrick with Killearn bottom left of centre

The first thing you notice as you drive into the village is an almighty obelisk. Turns out it’s dedicated to the memory of George Buchanan who was born here in 1506.

The Buchanan memorial, Killearn — 30m Buchanan Memorial

George may be the most famous person you have never heard of. Educated here in Killearn and in Paris, according to many he was “the most profound intellectual sixteenth century Scotland produced,” Mary Queen of Scots was once his pupil. A humanist and a poet, he campaigned against monarchy and corruption in the church. He believed that power should lie with the people. This, of course, landed him in all sorts of trouble with the people who actually had the power … and wanted to keep it that way. One of Glasgow’s main shopping streets, Buchanan Street, is named after him. We had always wondered who Buchanan of Buchanan Street was but now we know.

American constitution

Sounds like a guy ahead of his time but if he returned today, five centuries later, he would be surprised to find that there’s still plenty to campaign about. He was held in high regard and his advice on the responsibilities of leaders was sought while drawing up the American constitution. There’s much more we could tell you about George but just a few yards along the street lies the Kitchen Window cafe. Feeling guilty for never having heard of George we felt the least we could do was have a scone in his honour. Pathetic, we know!

Advice to leaders

The building that now houses the village hall used to be the Parish Church, built in 1826. Now it has a large ultra modern, all singing/dancing extension that houses The Kitchen Window cafe. It’s an impressive space and must be an invaluable asset for the community. We noticed the size of the scones so ordered one to share. Nothing pre-packed and foreign here. Unfortunately, they didn’t have cream but our scone came with a lovely pot of jam and a generous slab of butter. What’s not to like? Nothing really, it was all great but again it wasn’t quite a topscone. We feel sure that part of George Buchanan’s advice to leaders would be to experience the civilising influence of scones and afternoon tea as often as possible. The world might be a better place!

Tolls

Being introduced to Killearn, George Buchanan and the Kitchen Window has been a great experience. We’re indebted to our correspondents. And, joy of joys, we are happy to report that we drove through the village for free … yeah! On the opposite side of the street from the Kitchen Window was the old Toll House.

In 1844 it cost sixpence to drive through Killearn in your Barouche or your Diligence … or your Hearse?

View of Killearn — Killearn in the winter sun

G63 9NL tel: 01360 550116 Kitchen Window

///intruding.configure.rocky

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Dobbies revisited

23rd February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

This is “Dobbie’s revisited” because we first visited Dobbies Garden Centre back in 2017. It was big then but now it’s even bigger. Of course, it’s not so much a garden centre now, more a kind of general store where you can buy almost anything you can imagine. You can even sell your car here! They still sell plants though. Their cafe area seems to have got bigger as well … it’s massive! Last time we thought that their scones were too big, surely they wouldn’t have got bigger as well.

Tempting offer?

Before all that though, you are probably wondering why the title picture is of a bull rather than a garden centre. That’s because we had no intention of coming to Dobbies. I suspect that most male readers would not experience any resistance when they ask their wives if they would like to go to the sales. When I asked Pat that very question, she just looked disbelieving and sceptical. Okay, okay, I eventually had to divulge that I meant the bull sales in Stirling but sales are sales … yes/no? All I can say is that she managed to contain her excitement really well!

Stirling Auction Mart has a vast car park however when we got to the roundabout on the main road that leads to the mart it was blocked by a couple of guys in hi-vis jackets telling us we would have to park elsewhere … the car park was full … argh! No parking on the main road so the nearest alternative was Dobbies and then walk back the quarter of a mile or so.

Guineas

We weren’t in the market for a bull. Especially since we would now have to walk it all the way back to the car. The conduct of the auction is a model of efficiency. Immediately after the ‘sold’ bull leaves the ring another simultaneously enters through a different gate. It is continuous. And, although they are all being sold no one seemed to be bidding. It takes a wee while to get your eye in and spot what is going on. One farmer just bid with a tiny flick of his little finger. All bids are in guineas. Why make it simple? It’s tradition!

Size is everything

There were 132 Simmental bulls being sold in our auction. The name and age in months and days of each animal goes up on a large LED screen. The program has lots of other details like height, weight and scrotal size … a bit personal!

Stirling Bull sales — This big fella went for £30,000

After a while we took a break and went to get a coffee in the cafe. No frills and everything served in farmer sized portions but no scones. I asked a farmer sitting beside us to explain why the age of each bull was so exact. He explained that each animal is given a unique ear tag at birth so everyone knows all about it. I asked if the age was particularly critical since they mostly seemed to be within a year of each other. He said it was important because whereas the younger bulls can manage around twenty females, the older ones can manage about forty. I didn’t know whether to feel impressed or totally inadequate.

No jam or cream

Fully loaded scones at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — we resisted the fully loaded scones

We decide to leave before they started on the Charolais bull sale that followed. Even although the auctioneer assured us that some of the bulls were real bargains we left empty handed and that might be the first sale Pat has been to without buying anything. Of course going back to Dobbies to retrieve the car meant that we had to go in and check out their scones. Back in 2017 we had a cherry and coconut scone which did not impress. This time it was to be treacle for me and an empire biscuit for Pat. At least my scone was a good bit smaller than how we remembered them here, so that was a relief. Pat kindly decorated mine with the green jelly thingy from her biscuit. A long time since I’ve had a treacle scone and this one was really good. No jam or cream required, just some butter. A great day out and Pat was feeling spoiled … a sale and an empire biscuit!

Posters at Dobbie's Garden Centre Stirling — Dobbies is older than we thought

Testosterone

With Nicola Sturgeon stepping down, Scottish politics is in a bit of a turmoil. The contest is between Humza Yousaf and Kate Forbes. Another female leader would be good since, particularly after the bull sales, there always seems to be too much testosterone floating around world politics. However the debate has become mired in religion and LGBT rights. Hopefully the arguments are not going to be about that … there are bigger things to worry about

FK9 4UF tel: 01786 458860 Dobbies

///flush.travels.waxer

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Stirling Castle

21st February 2023 billpaterson1@me.com 11 Comments

The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It’s a symbol of purity as well as being proud and untameable. Sounds about right! If you are very lucky you might see unicorns anywhere in Scotland but one of the best places to see them is Stirling Castle. It even has a Unicorn Cafe!

Argyles

Before we went to the cafe we visited the Regimental Museum of the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders – the much feared ‘men in skirts’. The castle is the spiritual home of the regiment which was formed in 1881 and then amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland in 2006. We spent some time going round and reading about all the battles in which they’ve been involved all over the world. At the end, however, we were left with the overriding impression that Britain has stuck its nose into all sorts of places where it really wasn’t welcome. Many thousands of soldier’s lives were sacrificed in the name of King and country but in reality the end game was always the same … maintaining the power of those at the top of British society … and enhancing their wealth.

In spite of us humans being pretty spectacular in so many ways in other ways we’re absolutely awful. Considering our time on earth is but a fleeting moment you would think that there would better things to do with these moments than simply killing other people just like ourselves. Luckily, just as the dark clouds of depression were looming ever closer we remembered there would be scones at the Unicorn Cafe … hurrah! Yes, we are unbelievably shallow.

Unicorn Cafe at Stirling Castle — One of three compartments that form the cafe

Oversized

The cafe is run by a company called Benugo. We reviewed their Cafe by Benugo in Glasgow six years ago. Not too impressed then and we still aren’t! We thought everything was very expensive, especially for a self-service cafe. One tourist was informed that the hot food would arrive in half an hour. Presumably to replace the rather sorry assortment on display. You even have to clear your own table? Normal practice for us but we don’t usually expect to have to do it!

On the plus side we did had some soup and bread which was very nice. However, almost £6 for a scone with jam and cream was a surprise. The scone itself was quite nice but huge and, as you know, we’re not keen on oversized scones. It was shared between us but even then we couldn’t finish it all. The overall experience at the Unicorn Cafe was disappointing, nowhere near a topscone.

Coat of arms at Stirling Castle — Royal Coat of Arms of Scotland up to 1603

From the 1100s onwards the story of Stirling Castle is really one of a continuous confrontation between England and Scotland. Over the centuries the castle has been occupied by opposing forces many times. Ironically, in 1502 James IV signed the Treaty of Perpetual Peace with England. It lasted all of eleven years until Scotland declared war on England in support of France … heyho,he tried!

Up to 1603, Scotland’s Coat of Arms featured two unicorns either side of a shield. Later it had only one unicorn and a lion on the other side to represent the strength of England.

Fly to France

Before it became a military base Stirling Castle was a Royal Palace. Mary Queen of Scots was crowned here in 1543 aged nine months and lived here until she was five. A few years earlier in 1507 her grandfather, James IV, had employed an Italian alchemist with the idea of turning any old scrap metal into gold. With continuing failure rumours inevitably circulated that he might be fraudulent. He desperately needed to prove that he did indeed possess wondrous powers. He decided to fly to France from the ramparts of the castle using wings made from eagle feathers. Unfortunately, eagle feathers were in short supply so he used chicken feathers instead. He plunged straight down into the castle cess-pit and miraculously escaped with nothing but a broken leg. Should definitely have used eagle feathers!

No Netflix

There is an area on the ramparts called the Ladies Lookout. It enabled the ladies of the castle to watch their husbands gallop around in the park below killing deer, foxes and probably anything else that moved. Exciting viewing considering there was no Netflix back then!

View of Kings Park from the Ladies Lookout

We do have Netflix, however, so when we got home we decided to settle down and watch the BAFTA award winning epic “All Quiet On The Western Front”. Set in WWI it follows German troops in trench warfare against the French. Amazingly it was only made possible because of Lesley Paterson, from Stirling. She bought the rights to the book with her winnings as a triathlete and ended up co-producing the film. It’s an amazing production but goodness, it’s not an easy watch. It should, however, be compulsory viewing for the likes of Putin and any others preoccupied with warmongering.

Unicorn picture in Stirling Castle — everyone should have a unicorn above their mantlepiece

Did you know?

Baby unicorns are called “foals” but sometimes they are known as “sparkles”.

FK8 1EJ Tel: 01786 450000 Unicorn Cafe

///caked.sorry.bids

Scones, self-service

James’ Coffee Bar

4th December 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 5 Comments

Here’s another random scone. When you walk along Main Street in the peaceful little village of Doune, apart its rather formidable castle, you probably wouldn’t ever imagine that it was once famous for the manufacture of guns. Yet from the mid 1600s to the late 1700s pistol making was the main industry here. All that is long since gone and the reason we come here nowadays is not for guns but for dresses. Or, whenever we think we have accumulated too much money! Woodlane of Doune is an excellent ladies dress shop for sorting that problem out.

It was when Pat was in a changing room that I was asked if we were going across the road to the Buttercup Cafe afterwards. I said that we had been there recently and thought we would try and find somewhere else. “Oh, you should try James’ Coffee Bar” was the reply “It’s open air but it has a roof … and it’s not far from here.“

Being outside

We’d never heard of it. We were intrigued … open air in December? With what little money we had left we took our leave of Woodlane carrying several large bags. The ladies in the shop, however, had given us clear directions to James’ Coffee Bar so we set off to find it. It’s in the middle of nowhere on a road that we never use so that’s why we hadn’t come across it before. It sits adjacent to Stockbridge Nurseries Garden Centre and takes the form of one of those American Airstream aluminium trailers. The seating area is ‘outdoors’ but the roof is extensive and on a dull but nice day like today it was rather good to be ‘outside’.

Local products

The first thing we saw at the counter was the scones and just a few other cakes and things. Then we realised there was huge menu on the wall beside where we were standing. Eventually the order was two bacon rolls and a fruit scone to share. The girls in the trailer were delightful and soon had us sorted with everything we needed. No fine china here but, of course, in an establishment like this that would have been totally inappropriate. Our scone came in a cardboard tub along with a jar of jam, a wee tub of cream and a wooden knife. The coffee, Grumpy Mule was good but no as good as our favourite Cat’s Pyjamas. Puzzles us why people use companies hundreds of miles away while there are local products which are just as good, if not better.

Other than that we really enjoyed James’. It’s a family run enterprise born from the restrictions forced upon them by COVID. When we were finished we simply tipped everything into the appropriate recycling bins. For us it was just a little out of the ordinary and a bit of fun. We hope they go from strength to strength. Now that we know where it is the summer will doubtless see us back at James’.

Football business

For us the World Cup is proving to be not so much fun. In spite of FIFA pretending that they run and organise the event this one is pretty obviously being run by Qatar. Nothing happens without their approval. The whole thing, right down to them piping bird song into newly created parks is just a bit weird. The promised ‘greenest’ World Cup ever has proved to be a joke. Human rights seem to be another joke with all our home teams being too lily livered to wear an armband. Christiano Renaldo ‘not being sure‘ whether to accept £173m for a two year contract in Saudi perhaps illustrates all that is wrong with the modern business of football! AND, we have to have something to moan about!

FK15 9ND Tel: 07936 078661 James’ Coffee Bar

///star.cello.megawatt

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Kitchen

29th August 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

After our previous visit to the Soup Dragon near Balfron today we are in a very different place, the Kitchen in Poole. About as far away from The Soup Dragon as you can get without leaving the UK. However, Poole is the most haunted town in Dorset … so spirits of a different kind perhaps. None of that for us today though. Poole Park which opened in 1890 is the place for us. It is over 100 acres of open parkland with lovely gardens and even a saltwater lagoon … fab!

Sharing again

The Kitchen is at its centre and provides sustenance for many of the parks users. It has a large restaurant area as well as an outdoor waterside terrace. There’s also Scoops ice cream parlour. It seems to have everything but what about scones? Yes, there was, fruit and plain! We had had lunch elsewhere so it was just a fruit scone to share and some tea. Sharing was a great idea because neither us wanted to finish even the half that we had. They were fairly obviously shop bought and probably not bought this week judging by the rather stodgy texture. Ah well, you can’t win them all! Shame though, because everything else on offer is probably very good and it’s a great facility for the park.

Hanging by a thread

One of the benefits of staying down here with family is that there is not much time for news. So no rants this time you might think. Well no, when we do get a glimpse it’s the same old, same old. The BBC interviewing innocent passers-by about the cost of living. Typically it goes like this “You’re already struggling to make ends meet and now the government says that cost increases will double over the next few months. How do you feel about that?” What? Are they really expecting someone to say “Oh, I’m absolutely delighted“. And yet they go on doing it … endlessly. And, now it appears that their ‘Director of Impartiality’ is a died in the wool Tory, surprise, surprise! Our BBC licence fee is hanging by a thread.

Incomprehensible

The current cost of living crisis is incomprehensible. Britain is, to a large extent, self sufficient in energy and the same goes for wheat, yet we are told it’s all the fault of the Ukraine war. Our energy costs are to go up 200% … in France it’s 4%. Scottish energy producers have to pay massive amounts of money to feed into the grid yet producers in the south get paid massive amounts to do exactly the same?? Could it all be caused by nothing more than systems designed and developed by the wealthy to make themselves even wealthier? Surely not?

Incomprehensibler

Meanwhile we are assuming that the lightweights vying to become the next PM are still arguing about everything. Liz Truss, still the Foreign Secretary but with ambitions to become a mini Boris, saying that she doesn’t know if the French are friend or foe while simultaneously dumping tons of raw sewage into the English Channel. And Sunak is about as far away from the man in the street as its possible to get. One of them will soon be running the country because 0.2% of the population voted for them. Fantastic!

Two K6s in Poole Park. One made in Falkirk (on the right) and the other in Kirkintilloch

Anyway, the cost of living crisis doesn’t show too much down here but, of course, it is one of the wealthiest areas outside of London. Still can’t produce a topscone though!

BH15 2SF tel: 01202 742842 The Kitchen

///notice.sleep.motor

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Loch Ericht Hotel

6th August 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 7 Comments

What’s the coldest village in the UK? A clue, it’s well over 1000ft above sea level and has a mean annual temperature of 6.6 °C. One April it even managed to record a high of −1.0 °C for the month … brrrr!. Okay, we’ll tell you … it’s Dalwhinnie! What’s more, we’re here at the Loch Ericht hotel and it’s actually quite hot! The village also has a distillery.

View of Dalwhinnie distillery — Dalwhinnie distillery

We are here because we decided to take a slight detour off the A9, the road that runs from Falkirk to Scrabster in the far north. This section of the road was opened in the 1970s and had the effect of bypassing Dalwhinnie. At the time, many thought it would kill the village off completely. Actually, back in our early days when we decided on the Cairngorms rather than Glencoe for our weekends we would pass through Dalwhinnie quite a lot. Back then there was only one road and it went straight through the village. Gosh, how old are we?

Crushing

It was a military road built by General Wade back in 1731 so that the English army could have better and quicker access to the Highlands. You know what those pesky Highlanders can be like! They thought the Highlands belonged to them and, of course, that sort of thing had to be discouraged at all costs. Wade is actually the only person named in the National Anthem:

Lord grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush.
God save the King!

Tumbleweed

We could easily have whizzed past but today we decided to see what affect the bypass had had on the village. We fully expected tumbleweed and the odd highland cow wandering about aimlessly on the road. Not a bit of it … it was buzzing! The hotel doesn’t exactly scream out at you, in fact we struggled to find anything indicating it was a hotel at all. There were lots of cars though and when we went into the restaurant area it was big and very busy.

The folks behind the self service counter were very smiley and friendly. Soon we were kitted out with some lunch and a scone to share and went off to find a table. It was surprising that so many others had taken the trouble to come off the main road to visit the village. It has a distillery, did we mention that?

Must be love

Lunch was excellent and then we turned our attention to the scone. There wasn’t any cream but it did come with some nice Scottish jam and Irish butter. Pat normally takes the top half but this time she cut it the other way so I could have a bit of the top as well. Must be love! It was all very nice but what with it being self service it was never going to make topscone grade. Very enjoyable though.

Fancy stories

When we were leaving Pat suddenly announced that she wanted to buy me a bottle of whisky at the distillery … hurrah! Did we mention that there was a distillery? Only a couple of hundred yards further on and we were there. From the outside it looked deserted but when we went inside it was heaving with people, you could hardly move!

They had a weird system where you actually had to retrieve a bottle from the display cases opposite the counter then take it to the counter to pay. Very confusing! No pricing, so suffice to say that the bottle Pat selected turned out to be £65. We left empty handed. Disappointing but I had to agree with her, that’s a lot to pay. No matter what fancy stories they tell on the label … it’s still just whisky! We are heading for Speyside so plenty more whisky buying opportunities to come … fingers crossed!

Brilliant

One of the things about being away is that you don’t get as much news. These days that’s a good thing, as Sunak and Truss battle it out, making ever more outlandish claims. One thing is for sure … neither of them give a toss about Scotland. Truss has even said that she plans to completely ignore Scotland and its government … brilliant! The population of Dalwhinnie is around 80. That’s just slightly less than the number of people who will decide who the next Prime Minister will be … brilliant again!

PH19 1AG 01528 522331 Loch Ericht Hotel

///presides.dude.gathering

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Gee Whites

12th May 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 8 Comments

Having been in Poole for a few days now we are getting to know the place quite well. Did you know that this town has produced some of the most beautiful women in the world? Yes, not a lot of people know that! How else would you explain the fact that two of the five British Miss Worlds have hailed from here? It’s also renowned for attracting the rich and famous … we’re here after all! On Panorama Road the property price-per-square-foot has exceeded that of waterside streets in Miami and Monte Carlo.

Resisting schoolboy humour

We don’t want to start any arguments but today we are trying to circumnavigate the largest natural harbour in the world, Poole harbour. Other places have tried to claim this title e.g. Sydney harbour. But that claim is usually made by Aussies and we all know what they are like when it comes to bragging! Poole harbour has an area of fourteen square miles and a coastline that extends more than one hundred miles. It also has a single access to the sea … the very definition of a ‘harbour’. Rest assured, if you heard it on allaboutthescones, it’s correct! The harbour is fed by four rivers, the main ones being the River Frome and the River Piddle. The Piddle is actually quite a bit bigger than you might expect!

One of the main streets in Swanage — The High Street, Swanage

Fossils

Circumnavigation involves quite a long drive (not by Australian standards obviously) but it cannot be done without ending up here in Swanage. This is the first town at the eastern end of the Jurassic Coast, a World Heritage Site. But with no time to go scavenging for fossils we ended up here at Gee Whites scavenging for scones. It’s an odd sort of place. They have a roof terrace but it wasn’t open. In fact, there did not appear to be any inside seating at all. So outside it had to be … at the mercy of the seagulls. We ordered tea and a fruit scone at a sort of kiosk window. When we asked if the scone came with jam and cream “That’s a cream tea if you want that” was the reply “Okay, can we have a cream tea then?” We triumphantly transported our ‘cream tea’ to a table by the water’s edge.

View from Gee Whites in Swanage — View from our seat … some folks fishing for crabs

This was not at all unpleasant.

Although overcast it was warm and nice to sit and watch all the activity that typically goes on in all such seaside places. Rather oddly the jam and cream came packaged together in a little plastic tub. Perhaps that should have given us an early warning on the scone. It was a disappointment and worst of all it had a soggy bottom and we all know that soggy bottoms are never desirable. Inevitably perhaps, It became fodder for some of the man-eating seagulls that surrounded our table. One gull swallowed what was left in one gulp. We were impressed by its swallowing skills but mostly by its ability to fly off afterwards. It seemed to thoroughly enjoy it so maybe we’re just getting too fussy?

Another cruise

In spite of this scone setback we were happy to be in Swanage, a place we never ever expected to visit. It had taken us a good hour or so to drive round to here but to complete the circumnavigation we had to take the Sandbanks Chain Ferry across the 242 foot harbour entrance. Another four minute cruise for Pat, I know, I spoil her! First time on a chain ferry and it meant that we were home in no time at all … brill!

Unexpected consequences

Finland has applied for NATO membership after many years of steadfast and proud neutrality. The 830 mile border with Russia will achieve the exact opposite of what Mad Vlad intended and couldn’t have been achieved without his crazy invasion of Ukraine. Funny the way things turn out sometimes!

Our time in the soft south is coming to an end. Shortly we will be heading back to the wild and woolly north.

BH19 2LN tel: 01929 425720 Gee Whites

///requiring.paint.rated

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Tebay Services

8th May 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 4 Comments

We’re on a road trip … yeah! A bit like Easy Rider but without the motorbikes … and everything else come to think of it. It’s the M6 and we’re on our way to Poole to see our daughter’s new house …. exciting. Everyone has a favourite motorway services … don’t they? Is it just us? Anyway, if you are going to have a favourite, Tebay Services in Westmorland does it for us!

Bladder stops

Tebay Services was established in 1972 by the local farmer when the motorway was driven straight through the middle of his farm. A case of, if you can’t beat them join them. The farmshop features much of their home grown meat and veg and the whole place specialises in locally sourced produce. It’s just a bit different from the normal soulless motorway services. They even have a duck pond.

It’s about two hours drive from home and that’s roughly how long we can go these days without a bladder stop. Too much information we know but unfortunately that is just the harsh reality.

We’ve never had a scone here before so there was a degree of nervous anticipation. It’s all self service , of course, so we had to help ourselves from a box of scones and then fill a wee tub with jam from one of the large pots available. Not exactly the Ritz but the scones looked good and we soon had ourselves sorted out with everything we required.

View from Tebay Services — View over part of the duck pond towards the Westmorland moors

Road trips

As scones go this one was above average but, what with it being self service and all that, even with it’s nice little pat of Cumberland butter, it was never going be rated as a topscone. Maybe a top motorway services scone but since we are very seldom on motorways that is not one of our categories. It’s a long time since we were last here and somehow it didn’t seem as good as we remembered but that might just be our memories playing tricks. This was a southbound scone, we may do a northbound one on the way home? Or maybe not. After an hour or so we felt suitably refreshed and ready to take on the next 350 miles. We’re sure our Australian correspondents would not bat an eyelid at such a journey but it seems like a long way to us.

Voting for anyone but the Tories

Over the past few days there’s been local council elections held over the whole of the UK. Although not all results are in, it seems that the Conservatives have taken a bit of a drubbing … surprise, surprise! They now seem to be trying to portray Boris as a great wartime leader. Are we at war … news to us! Labour and the Lib Dems are saying that the political tectonic plates have shifted without realising that folk simply could not bring themselves to vote for scandal ridden Conservatives.

Scotland continues to see the SNP still riding high after fifteen years in power. Scotland uses the STV (single transferrable vote) system otherwise known as the “vote ’till you boak” system. You order the candidates in order of preference until you cannot vote without feeling sick. But perhaps the biggest change is being seen in N. Ireland where Sinn Féin has become the largest party at Stormont. Could this herald the ‘anomaly’ that is N. Ireland being solved democratically without resorting to violence … let’s hope!

On the road again, wind in our hair, Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf on the radio … this is the life!

CA10 3SB tel: 015396 24511 Tebay Services

///atlas.flaking.take

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

Klondyke Garden Centre

10th February 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

It’s that time of year again! Although we have reviewed Klondyke Garden Centre several times before, it has changed so much that we feel another review is justified. We’re not apologising … Boris doesn’t have to apologise for anything so why should we?

Choice

It’s our annual compost fix we’re after. If we don’t get it the rest of the year will definitely not go as well as it would have done otherwise. We try to restrict it to once a year … we’re not addicts … it’s for the garden. Actually, it’s for our rhubarb which we are in the process of transplanting from the garden into large pots. Reminds me of one of my dad’s favourite stories about a man passing a mental hospital pushing a barrowload of manure. An inmate pokes his head through the railings and asks him what he is going to do with it. “I’m going to put it on my rhubarb” he replied. “Oh” the inmate said “You should come in here we get custard on ours“. Okay, okay! It remains to be seen how well our rhubarb will do in pots … it’s a high risk strategy!

Anyway, over the past year or so, much work has been done at this garden centre. The car park is now vast and the centre itself is much bigger than it used to be. As well as a huge area dedicated to plants there are gift shops, clothes shops, a shoe shop and even a car wash. All this choice can be kind of bewildering and choosing compost is no exception … ericatious, John Innes, Miracle Gro, peat free, big bag, wee bag … argh!

Internal view of Topiary restaurant Klondyke — Just part one section of the restaurant/cafe area

Technology

Unsurprisingly perhaps, it wasn’t long before the lure of the cafe became overpowering. Crikey, it’s. gone huge as well. In our previous review we tried to use their new fandangled phone ‘Order & Pay’ system. It seemed to work but after waiting for twenty minutes for our order to appear we realised something had gone wrong. When we asked a member of staff she just said “no problem, I can take your order” … argh! This time we ordered at the self service counter but they still seem to be using the same phone system at the tables. It must work sometimes so might try it again next time.

The scones were quite big so we decided to share. Expectations were not exactly high but we were pleasantly surprised. It tasted remarkably fresh and came complete with some English jam and Danish butter. The cream was whipped and nicely presented in a little glass jar. We actually swithered momentarily about a topscone but decided that the complete package just wasn’t quite right. But a bIg improvement on previous visits. Keep up the good work Klondyke Garden Centre … it’s all very impressive.

Wallpaper at restaurant Klondyke — Wallpaper in the cafe area

Also impressive is the new Falkirk Distillery which is right next door to the garden centre. It’s due to open its doors for the first time later in the year and who knows it may even serve scones in its restaurant. Exciting or what?

Trumpian?

Last time we were here in 2020 Boris Johnson was visiting Scotland. He reminded us how grateful we should be for the block grant … a gift from England!? He also said he had an “oven ready deal” for Brexit and Gove was proclaiming Brexit as the “easiest deal in history”. We all know that now, as we did then, they needn’t have bothered wasting their breath. With his administration still deep in the proverbial doodoo his latest imbecilic utterances about Keir Starmer and Jimmy Savile do not bode well for how any upcoming elections will be conducted. Looks very Trumpian to us!

All is not lost though, just as we were all about to lose faith in government of any kind, up pops ex PM and arch Tory, Sir John Major, to tell it like it is … or rather, how it should be! A Tory with a brain and a heart … whatever next?

We’ll keep you posted on the rhubarb!

FK2 0XS tel: 01324 717035 Klondyke

///staple.reap.rooms

And just when you thought the world could not get any crazier, we came across this car with a banana stuck up its exhaust. What’s that all about?

Later still, I watched as a flock of siskins fought and squabbled over a load of sunflower hearts. Totally illogical because there was more than enough for them all. Unfortunately though, when it comes to our planet’s resources, we are all just siskins. That should have been a Tweet really?

Ordinary, Scones, self-service

The Bothy Braemar

28th January 2022 billpaterson1@me.com 1 Comment

Most people only know Braemar through pictures of the Queen sitting with her family, swathed in tartan, watching big hairy men in kilts throwing tree trunks around. Because Balmoral is less than a mile away, the Royals usually visit the Braemar Highland Gathering every year and, of course, their attendance draws thousands of Royal watchers. There is no doubt that the village and places like the Bothy Braemar prosper because of these regal connections but it also does well from the nearby Glenshee Ski Centre . But first let me tell you a story from that part of the world. Prepare to be shocked!

No room at the inn

Many years ago myself and a couple of friends were heading for Braemar to climb in the Cairngorms mountains. By the time we got to Glenshee it was dark and there was blizzard conditions.. Although we were still making good progress on the snowy roads in our trusty little Riley Elf, it wasn’t long before we came on a minibus full of youngsters that was stuck. The south side of Glenshee is unrelentingly uphill! The piles of sand at the roadside were frozen solid but our ice axes soon sorted that out.

We spent the next couple of hours following their bus and every time they got stuck we went through the same procedure. Late in the evening we reached their destination, a huge mansion house which served as a Church of Scotland Christian Centre. Because we just had a tent and were unsure if we would ever get over the summit of Glenshee in the awful conditions they invited us to stay overnight. We gratefully accepted.

The manger

However, they hadn’t reckoned with the management of the centre. When they discovered we were there they made no bones about it … we had to leave. The youngsters pleaded but to no avail. We offered to just put our sleeping bags down in the porch outside but no, we had to vacate the premises completely. Back out in the snowy darkness and getting in to the car, a man appeared and, immediately seeing the problem, said that he would put us up in a nearby manger. Okay, just kidding about the manger, it was just an outhouse! That’s what we did! We stayed at his place and eventually made it to Braemar the next day. Make of it what you will. I, however, will never be able to understand why a lighting bolt from someone all-seeing didn’t obliterate those management folk right there and then.

The one that’s open

No such problems this time. We sailed over Glenshee where there was hardly any sign of snow. Not great for a ski centre at the end of January but very good for us. Braemar has a lot of quite large Victorian hotels and, for its size, a plethora of restaurants and cafes. The hotels were open but the Bothy Braemar was the only cafe doing business. Considering, its external appearance it’s actually quite large inside and is fairly obviously geared up to cater for a clientele of climbers, walkers and skiers. Best of all, they had what looked like nice scones… hurrah!

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It is self service but the staff were were very warm and friendly. We ordered a couple of fruit scones. Compared to the scone we had had in our previous post from the Moulin Inn, this was a huge improvement. Still not good enough for a topscone award, unfortunately, but enjoyable nevertheless. Overall, we really liked the Bothy Braemar and it was great to be back in this part of the world.

View from the Bothy in Braemar — View from the Bothy

Who is the most famous person you have never heard of? It surely has to be Sue Gray. For the past couple of weeks no journalist or politician has been able to utter a sentence without mentioning her name at least once. Now we hear that her report into partying in 10 Downing Street may never see the light of day. Apparently, because it has now become a police investigation it may be so redacted it wouldn’t be worthwhile. Oh my gosh, isn’t it just as well we aren’t cynical!!

AB35 5YP tel: 01339 741019 The Bothy FB

///depths.aviation.fired

American constitution

Advice to leaders

Tolls

Tempting offer?

Guineas

Size is everything

No jam or cream

Testosterone

Argyles

Oversized

Fly to France

No Netflix

Did you know?

Being outside

Local products

Football business

Sharing again

Hanging by a thread

Incomprehensible

Incomprehensibler

Crushing

Must be love

Fancy stories

Brilliant

Resisting schoolboy humour

Fossils

Another cruise

Unexpected consequences

Bladder stops

Road trips

Voting for anyone but the Tories

Choice

Technology

Trumpian?

No room at the inn

The manger

The one that’s open

by Bill and Pat Paterson and is about finding good scones throughout the world, with a little bit of politics